Nov 9, 2015
hearing harry SING AND SAY olivia does ///soooo//// much for my shipper heart and THEN!!!! he goes dont let me go!!! ICING ON THE CAKE!!!! my poor soul :(
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hearing harry SING AND SAY olivia does ///soooo//// much for my shipper heart and THEN!!!! he goes dont let me go!!! ICING ON THE CAKE!!!! my poor soul :(
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You know if we say "Austin and Olivia", normal people would probably think that they are a couple.
I am so lucky to have fallen in love with you.
ACTUAL LOML AUGUST WAKEFIELD R IP
✖ JUST MESS ME UP LITERALLY IM PREPARED TO DIE
Liv,I need you to know something. Maybe I’ve told you before, I mean, there’s not really a way for me to know if I’ve already told you since, you know — by the time you read this I’m probably already gone (I’m writing it ahead of time just in case, don’t worry).The morning I wrote this I looked at you and for the millionth time in my life I thought, ‘I love you’. It’s just a constant phrase popping in and out of my head, it’s been that way for as long as I can remember. But it’s okay. I mean, I’ve never not meant it, you know? Then I thought about how often I think of you, and how you had no idea about how often I thought of you until, like, the third time we kissed. Anyway, we met when we were both six year olds — you know that one — and I remember looking at you and wanting to know what you were thinking. Because, I’m not even gonna lie here, back then I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. All blonde hair tied up in pigtails and rosy cheeks and cute girly stuff. I still think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. All blonde hair tied up in a messy bun and rosy cheeks and stars and planets and science and tea. You seemed like the most incredible person, and I wanted to know if you thought I was interesting enough, if you wanted to be my friend as badly as I wanted to be yours. Then everything kind of fell into place, and a year or so later you made me promise we would be best friends forever. I’d like to think I kept that promise. The morning I wrote this you made me a cup of tea, and I found it funny how I remembered exactly what I was thinking when we met but how I didn’t remember just when was the first time you made me drink tea with you. I’m pretty sure everything’s been a bit of a blur since we met, actually. I have no idea how we ended up were we are. But I’d do it all over again, a hundred times, if you asked me to.Liv, you are the most important person in my entire life. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s weird to think that you’ll be reading this and that I won’t be there anymore. I know it’ll hurt. I know. I love you. God, I love you. I’m so in love with you, it’s insane. The night before I wrote this you fell asleep on my chest and I could feel your heart beating against my ribs and you were asleep but you were so alive. It was three in the morning but I wanted to stay there forever. I loved you so much and right now I love you so much and by the time you read this I’ll still be loving you — so, so much.I don’t know why I died, Liv, but I need you to know that it’s okay. That night when you fell asleep on my chest and it was three in the morning and I kept trying to sleep, I kept doing the worst thing I could do — think about us. About the ups and downs and how when it’s bad it’s awful but when it’s good it’s indescribably amazing and how I would literally die for you. Then I kept thinking about what would happen to you if I actually died. And that’s why today, the morning after, I’m writing this. Because I need you to know that, if I died, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I don’t understand myself, Liv. I don’t understand the person I’ve become, but all I know is this: I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what happens. I’ll be madly in love with you for the rest of eternity. That’s another promise I intend to keep.Now, I need you to promise something. Don’t let me be a burden. Don’t let my absence stop you from doing what you like. Take care of yourself — go outside and have fun and drink lots of tea. Don’t worry about me, I won’t leave for as long as you remember me. Be happy, even if it means finding someone else. Just be okay. It’s going to work out. I know that much. So— here’s to us, Liv. I love the daylights out of you. Never forget it.Forever yours,August Wakefield.
&&. five times kissed / part two
ii. post fight (pre memory wipe)
People frequently comment on how keeping a relationship going for too long isn't easy, that people eventually get bored of each other, because they are still human beings and they meet failure. Love turns into some sort of hate and light turns into darkness — and right now, it's so dark.
But Gus thinks about the fact that, since he was six years old, a day hasn't gone by when he hasn't thought of Liv.
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&&. five times kissed / part one
i. first kiss (pre memory wipe)
"Two minutes, guys!"
Two minutes. "C'mon," she turns to give him a smile. Gus counts the seconds as they pass by. 119, 118, 117, and he keeps going even as Liv walks outside, right by his side. She's holding a red cup with a mix of one-third Tequila and two-thirds grapefruit soda in one hand, holding onto Gus's elbow with the other. She's not drunk, though. He knows she's not, she's only drank two sips off the cup, but she's still been nursing it since they got to the party. He thinks it's cute. Music blasts off the speakers pushed up against the walls. It sounds like noise, more than anything. Just noise. Gus is nervous, he won't deny it. He's funny, like that — knows himself and knows what he's capable of. They follow a small crowd of people to the backyard of the house — just to see the fireworks. Two minutes.
i decided to title this drabble "would things be easier if there was a right way?", alternatively known as the "shh, we're having a moment" drabble, alternatively known as the moment aulivia became too real and far too much for us to handle. so i finally finished, and here it is. merry christmas, jo!!
The taste of gin and vodka lingers on his tongue and the buzz in his ears is familiar, somehow. They’re not drunk. Gus’ eyelids feel heavy and his chest crinkles every time Liv laughs, his head feels completely numb — but they’re not drunk. If anything, they’re tipsy. The thing is that they shouldn’t even be drinking in the first place, like, at all. Neither is allowed to. Not like they’d ever be fully allowed to drink — no one is, really — but they’re not of age, yet. So that’s how they find themselves tiptoeing, climbing up the stairs of Liv’s house one step at a time, giggling softly and clinging onto each other so they don’t fall, trying not to wake her parents up and get caught, but mindlessly and loudly shutting the door to her room once they’re both inside. Gus laughs louder, tugging at Liv’s wrist and dragging her behind him. The back of his knees hits the edge of her bed, so he sits down willingly, pulling her next to him.
“Shh,” she reminds him, curling on the bed next to him as he laughs again. Liv lies back and her blonde hair look like a halo above her head, she’s got a ruffled look to her and it’s not solely down to dancing and drinking, he assumes. Her hair is pretty. Her eyes are pretty. Her smile is pretty, and everything about Olivia Whittman is pretty. He’s known that since the day they met, pushed it down and suppressed it with the ‘just friends’ part of his mind that kept repeating itself like a mantra whenever he came up with something close to the word love when he thought about his feelings for her. It’s scary sometimes, and other times it just seems like the right thing. Like it’s meant to be. But Liv has boyfriends and ex-boyfriends and, ironically, a best friend who knows he is everything she’s been looking for this whole time. A best friend who incidentally decided they are soulmates.
It isn’t a big deal, honestly.
“What’re you lookin’ at?” Gus asks, eyes set on Liv’s even though hers’ are staring beyond him, at a random point between the wall and the ceiling. She doesn’t answer. Not right away, at least. A few quiet moments pass by before Liv purses her lips, “The stars,” she giggles softly, her hands shooting upwards and her fingers stretching out, “They’re everywhere.”
It’s not a lie. It’s dark but he knows her room’s got pictures and drawings of planets and stars hung up here and there, and those glow-in-the-dark plastic star cut outs he helped her stick to the ceiling that one time, and it’s one of the things he likes the most about her. She’s passionate and unique and wonderful and lovely and she loves stars. He kinda’, sorta’ loves her. In a ‘just friends’ way, of course.
“Yeah,” Gus mumbles, lying down next to her and staring up, just like she was before, “They are.”
They stay like that for a few minutes, motionless, silently staring at the plastic stars that don’t actually glow. He doesn’t really think about it, when he scoots closer to her. Liv doesn’t really seem to mind, either, and it’s okay. Gus turns to look at her, and they are so, so close.
Liv turns to look at him.
“Gus,” she says, so softly, and everything snaps quiet in his head. She sounds so innocent and the blue in her eyes burns brightly, drilling holes into his face and it’s so fucking quiet.
There’s alcohol still in his system and maybe he can use that as an excuse later. His head spins with every passing second and just looking at her is enough. He thinks it’s enough. Just friends, just friends, just friends. Her cheeks tint red and his heart beats wildly in his chest and it’s like everything shuts down around them as he becomes aware of how close he is now. He can’t stop himself before he’s whispering, “Shh, we’re having a moment.”
It’s not until he’s actually kissing her that he realizes just how much he’s wanted this. How he’s been waiting for it to happen again since las year, New Year’s Eve. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed. It’s not the first time he’s kissed her. And it’s not the first time she’s kissed back. It’s soft but he can feel Liv’s hands on his neck, pulling him closer. It’s soft but his own hands travel to her hips, keeping them both grounded.
They continue kissing like that, and Gus has a split second to panic about whether or not Liv is actually as into it as he is, or if she’s gonna hate him in the morning, or if she’s ever going to want this to happen again.
And then she pulls away.
Just a fraction, and her eyes are wide open and curious and staring so deeply into his’, Gus thinks his head might actually explode off his shoulders.
“This is going to become a problem,” Liv mumbles.
“What is?”
“Kissing you.”
◘ this was really important bc this is a gus thing to do and this is real the death au
"When was the last time we stayed up and counted the stars? I — I don’t… I can’t remember and it’s making me lose my goddamn mind. I can’t go outside without feeling like — God, this is so unfair, Liv. I miss you so much. I miss you so, so fucking much. I wake up in the middle of the night and I just… you used to be there. I don’t know how to wake up without you there and, fuck, I’m so cold. I — I think I forgot how to warm up and that’s the dumbest thing in the whole world, but I hate it. I hate that you’re not here anymore and I hate that you used to be the one who was always cold and, fuck, nothing makes sense. We were supposed to be forever.”
Beep.
"I can’t… I can’t breathe and I’ve probably left like seven thousand messages already and I’m so fucking pathetic but I just. I need you to be here. I woke up last night and you weren’t there and I — I’m drinking too much, Liv. I’m drinking too much and you used to be the only one who’d be there for me or, or the only one who’d actually notice or care. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore but I don’t think I can keep going for much longer. I feel like I’m going to die without you but, to be fair, I… I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know how I’m meant to get over this. I don’t know how I’m meant to go through every day for the rest of my life without you and just… I’m running out of things to break. And people are acting like they knew you they way I knew you and I know you’d hate that. And they’re saying that you won’t be gone as long as I remember you. And that’s. That’s so fucking ironic, but it’s the only thing I have. And I need you to know one thing, Liv. Wherever you are, I need you to know that I love you. I love you, and I — I sit here, and I know, and I just… I just love you. It’s all there is. Even if it’s just me, just one person. Just — me, I’ll never forget you. I’ll never let you die, okay? You’re not gone. I’m — I’m never letting you go.”