#suxz

I need you to know that you’re killing me

The smell of your weed lingers on me

On your sweatshirt I stole back in December

Intertwined within the thread,

Embedded if you will

It makes me sick to my stomach

I’ve been nauseous since the first night I stepped out my dorm buildings door

Your car waiting 20 feet away

I don’t think you really know me

My body is memorized within the folds of your brain

My frustration and concerns are foreign

I’m telling you I don’t want this

Are you hearing me?

I don’t want to have to yell

It just seems like you only hear me when my voice cracks

And when I say something a little too mean

I just want you to be okay

I could disregard my feelings for a century

I have sat with the same guilt for all of the 

19 years

3 months

And 12 days I’ve been alive

But I know I can’t do that

And when I’m crying on your couch I can’t pause it to ensure your feelings are heard

I search for comfort within your friends

Any drop of help to understand

Why you insist on saying the things you do to me