#suttinlight

1.

confusion

derives from the inability to connect with my self

or rather from my obvious aversion of self

can't face the

fact that i

coward from femininity

in all its facets

from the makeup of

chromosomes

to sephor--

a---severing of my --genitals.

imagine if --

my fantasies aligned with

the clothing lines I

obsess over

imagine if

the images

I paint so perfectly

would fit the curve over my

hips and wing tips of my

feet----

2.

why is identity

getting mixed with hypocrisy

cuz its flowing through the very

society with which

the layers we’ve woven into sacred tapestries

get pressed clean and dried

into commodities as commemoration

to every sweatdrop caught on the cotton picked? nah..

too much bureaucracy to catch feelings

so rich with emotion

so rich with strength

to be processed efficiently enough-for capitalisms sake;

let us just

lessen the lessons to cheapen the product---

-

why is identity getting commodified my people?

i need this to be sacred

i need this to be the one thing i believe in

i need this to ring true through my generations

i need my last name to be read and taken seriously

as that of a first generation guatemalan woman

that fought and discovered within her, layers that could not be separated

that intertwined so remarkably that you could not grasp ones concept without acknowledging the others presence

we gotta grip it

I need this to be mine

I need this to be understood across all languages

dont get it twisted

3.

Im a hood girl

remembering the whip lash

girllll remember the corner store

don’t run round the corner--or

you might get jumped and clocked

in the face by the girl who chased

you out the park last week because you looked like a mexican

and the other who thought you werent dark enough to play with that swing.

who looked at you and your brother and spat on the ground as she swung that belt

and you ran for your life and all that little girl in you ever understood from those dark moments of childhood

was that  pain was just around the corner,