#susandavid

Core Idea:

Emotional agility is the ability to be with your thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a way that is productive and aligned with your values, rather than reactive, avoidant, or stuck in unhelpful loops.

Instead of trying to “control” emotions, emotional agility teaches you to engage with them mindfully — without being defined by them.

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🧠 Key Concepts

1. Hooked vs. Agile

• Hooked: You’re emotionally rigid — stuck in negative thought patterns like rumination, denial, or judgment.

• Agile: You allow emotions to arise, observe them without judgment, and respond based on your values.

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🔄 The 4-Step Emotional Agility Process

1. Show Up

• Feel your feelings. Don’t suppress or ignore them.

• Emotions are data, not directives.

• Example: Instead of “I am angry,” say, “I notice I’m feeling angry.”

2. Step Out

• Detach from thoughts and emotions.

• Use mindfulness and cognitive defusion techniques (e.g., “I’m having the thought that…”).

• Helps create distance between you and your reactions.

3. Walk Your Why

• Identify your core values.

• Ask: “What matters most to me?”

• Align decisions and responses with your deepest intentions, not fleeting emotions.

4. Move On

• Take small, values-aligned actions.

• Focus on progress, not perfection.

• Build habits that reflect who you want to be — not who your mood says you are.

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🗂️ Cheat Sheet

Emotionally Rigid (Hooked) Emotionally Agile

Denial, suppression, bottling Acceptance and curiosity

Rumination, over-identification Cognitive defusion (“I’m noticing…”)

Acting on autopilot Mindful, values-driven actions

Avoiding discomfort Learning from discomfort

Reacting to emotions Responding with intention

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🧭 Core Tools

• Name the emotion → Naming helps taming.

• Ask “What is this emotion telling me?” → Use emotion as insight.

• Practice tiny tweaks → Small changes in habits, environment, or behavior can create long-term transformation.

• Use journaling & reflection → Build awareness and clarity.

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💬 Quotes to Remember

• “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

• “Emotions are data, not directives.”

• “Courage is fear walking.”

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🪞 How to Integrate Daily

• 💭 Morning prompt: “What emotions am I feeling today? What might they be telling me?”

• 🎯 End of day: “Did I act in line with my values today?”