#survivalstep

Sonic: Hufflepuff OK admittedly Gryffindor!Sonic is an extremely valid, if predictable Hot Take. As far as Archie comics Sonic is concerned, it’s pretty true. However, consider instead game canon Sonic, who literally drops everything anytime a stranger needs his help [see: Black Knight, Secret Rings, Unleashed]. Gryffindor might indeed be the house of valor and honor, but Hufflepuff is the house of trust and loyalty, and I can think of no-one better than Sonic “do I need a reason to help out a friend” the Hedgehog. Except, maybe...

Knuckles: Hufflepuff He isn’t just a dedicated friend. This echidna is pretty much the end-all be-all of what Hufflepuff aspires to be. Hardworking, good-natured, honest and loyal, and most of all absolutely devoted to his causes; this guy juggles protecting the Master Emerald and constantly having to help Sonic and co. save the world [almost] without breaking a sweat. Get you a furry who can do both.

Tails: Ravenclaw Before you click away hear me out I have reasons for this; I know, I know. Ravenclaw isn’t just for “the smart ones”. You’d be right about that! Ravenclaw is for those who are driven by their thirst for knowledge and an individualistic mindset. That is to say, those who thrive in Ravenclaw do so because they use their talents and skills for self-improvement. Tails, throughout the series, has grown from just being Sonic’s tag-along sidekick into a hero in his own right [compare StH 2 to, say, Lost World], not only honing his mind like a sharp blade but boosting his confidence to the point where Tails barely feels like he needs Sonic to be “a good hero” [*coughInB4Forcescough*]. I will never forgive people who put Tails in the right house for the wrong reasons.

Shadow: Gryffindor Y’all didn’t think I would, did you? You looked at this poor boy and thought, “wow, how dark and brooding! Surely this Clearly Evil Goth Boy belongs right in the snake house!” You’d be dead wrong. Slytherin is the house of ambition and cunning- both attributes which can apply to Shadow, but do not mark his interactions with the world. Shadow doesn’t do things for the sake of reputation or status- he does them because of his own motivations that have to do with attachments to other characters [however skewed those motivations might be, depending on where you are in his character arc]. Shadow does things out of a sense of duty, and a need to protect the world and the friends that have been so dear to him. One might even say he performs for the sake of.... honor. [At least that’s what I hope given that he’s SOMEHOW letting himself be employed by the institution that deemed his creation a dangerous liability and slaughtered a dwarf-planet’s worth of scientists out of this perceived threat. More salt on that in a separate post, maybe lol] More than that, the flaws of this house should not be ignored; self-righteousness [wanting to blow up the planet for being Cursed ™ ] and arrogance [”you’re not even good enough to be my fake!”] can be found in equal measure in Shadow’s character, and tempering these with his desire to protect the world [for the sake of his sister, then for his friends and eventually even himself[!!!!]] really solidify this house for him above all others. Although I was tempted to put him in Hufflepuff, too. Generally, people shove characters into Gryffindor when they’re either heros or brash and impulsive fighters, but one of the core aspects of this house is the concept of chivalry [the original version having to do with like. knighthood and devotion to a certain person/code and stuff, not the modern kind that has to do with justice and being Decent to women, although those should go without saying].

Amy: Gryffindor With all the groundwork explaining the tenants of Gryffindor in the characters I didn’t put in that house, it’s time to look at the other one I actually did! Amy Rose, tracker extraordinaire and hammer enthusiast, belongs in here because of her exceptionally strong moral compass [an excellent foil to shadow, who spends an entire game about him learning how to rebuild his own identity and stand free of toxic outside influences] and her steadfast beliefs. In a way, I’d call her the truly quintessential Gryffindor, fitting not just the stereotypical “reckless adventurer” cookie-cutter mold but also the [dare I say] firey compassion that can come with dedication to justice.  Amy is worth more than just her crush on Sonic. She lives full, and loves hard, and refuses to take no for an answer, and it’s this zest for excitement that drives her to self-improvement. I know her characterization has been a bit, er, shaky... [I’m looking at you, Lost World \:] but underneath the weird obsession that the writers keep attached to her like a malignant growth is someone who’s core aspect is simply wanting to help in any way she can. 

Maria: Slytherin Now don’t get me wrong, I know the games and the comics don’t give us much of a personality to work with, but have some of my tea anyways. Maria Robotnik has spent essentially her whole life in quarantine thanks to the ill-defined illness that got slapped onto her for woobification status. This, in addition to the fact that her only two friends were a boy several years younger than her [which in 12-year-old time, makes him a Baby] and her grandfather’s genetic experiment who happens to look like a cute waddling hedgehog, is a good recipe for someone who wants more from life.  This isn’t to say that this trait is specific to her, specifically. Everyone wants something more. But she, like her grandfather and her cousin before her, is a Robotnik, with all that entails. What exactly that entails is a staunch disregard for rules and conventional means of thought. One of those makes a great trait for a Ravenclaw, but you don’t see that house listed by her name, now do you? Nope. Where Ivo saw the world and demanded accolades for his brilliance, and where Gerald saw opportunity to heal an disregarded national law in order to achieve it, Maria sees the obstacles in front of her [the “rules” to which her world and her body abide, one might say] and refuses to accept them. Most of my theorizing is, I will admit, baseless conjecture, but what isn’t is her death. Her home is being invaded by forces she believes to be on her side; she sees them rounding up scientists and experiments in equal measure, executing both with little division between the two. She does what any child can only do in such circumstances- she runs. And she takes what is important to her. A Hufflepuff might try to appeal to the soldier’s better natures. A Gryffindor would step in and oppose them directly. A Ravenclaw surely would try to discover the cause of these events, in the hope that it might provide a solution. But a tried-and-true Slytherin is not only ambitious, but cunning and loyal as well. In a hopeless situation, where the world is crumbling around your ears and there is no hope, a Slytherin finds a way to preserve what is dearest to them. Maria takes Shadow. She puts him into the escape pod before herself because she understands that her goals, her dreams, are unachievable under her own power- that seeing the world again would mean nothing without her beloved friend by her side- and chooses to protect him even on the pain of death. 

A Slytherin is not just ambitious. They are clever, resourceful, determined, and fraternal in nature. Selfish, yes, but that in and of itself is not a bad thing. Slytherins care for themselves because it is smart. They care for others because loyalty is the foundation of a strong community, and it is only in a community that individuals can truly thrive.