#surrogate reader

“Y/N, darling,” your stage manager called which made you hum, looking at him from the mirror. “Ten minutes until your show.” You smiled before putting a nude shade of lipstick on your lips. “Oh, and someone is here to see you.” 

You glanced at him in curiosity before he read something from a piece of paper, “A guy named Yuta Nakamoto.” Then he closed the door. 

Your knees gave out for you. What is he doing here? How did he find you? After all these years? Why does he still have the same effect on you? 

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The bright red lingerie, the feathers on your hair, and the smokey eyeliner. Everything is eye-catching except for one thing. 

The body part he loved from you. 

The curtains opened as your name was called. Nabi. The star of the nightclub. The crowd of middle-aged men hollered at the sight of you. Their eyes focused on your subtle movements on the stage. But you were looking for something else. Someone else, rather. 

You spotted him, on the corner of the club drinking. His eyes met yours and you smiled with those cherry red lips that you purposefully put on tonight. Only for him. 

As you strut your heels along with the music you were singing to, you lightly glanced to gauge his reaction while slipping the strap of your brassiere as part of your set. Nothing. Your gaze fell on your manager then at the crowd of old men who were staring at you with their lustful eyes. Time to give them a show. 

Him, rather. 

The only material covering your breasts is gone, much to your manager’s annoyance and to the patron’s delight. The short skirt that you’re wearing is stripped off to reveal that striking red leather panty that you have been dying for everyone to see. During the last note of your dance number, your eyes focused on Yuta who was only staring. Your eyes caught something glimmering on his finger. 

A ring. 

Fuck! He’s married? 

You were scolded at what you did but your mind seemed to drift off at the thought that the person you have been waiting for so long, the person you loved all your life, is married. The seduction is useless. He’s fucking committed to someone.    

He cannot know that you're still waiting for him. That you're anticipating seeing him again and maybe getting everything back together. That was the thought running in your mind while our fingers fiddled on the string of your robe, approaching Yuta's table. 

Why is he still here if he's married? 

"Hi," you casually greeted, sitting on the chair opposite him. The guys from the nearby table gave you a stare and you smiled their way. "It's a surprise to see you here." 

"I met with Taeyong when I came back," he casually claimed that made you hiss. Of course. You shouldn't have trusted that guy when he said no one is going to know about you working in a nightclub. "You were amazing earlier." That is such an ego boost. It only means that the seduction is effective. 

You chuckled then leaned your back on the chair, crossing your arms to emphasize your breasts. "I have to put my workshops in use," you casually shook your head, hair swinging flawlessly that made the guys from the table behind you gasp. "I can't be a musical actress but this is close enough." 

Yuta smiled and you cursed yourself for entertaining him. That was the reason why you keep falling for him each time, his smile. "I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy." He whispered while playing with the ring on his finger. Fuck this guy! You would be happier with him. "About before…" 

"Let's not be emotional about it, Yuta." You started but your voice is already betraying you. You only hope that he didn't notice that tinge of sadness in your voice. "I'm happy. And you look happy as well." You gestured for his ring. "How long were you married?" 

Once again, he smiled. The betrayal is coming to you once again. "Half a year." The happiness in his voice made your heart shatter. He had never been that happy with you. "We met in Canada..." You don't want to hear the details. You have to save yourself from heartbreak. 

"That's good to hear." Then you leaned in closer. "Listen, I would love to know a lot," You don't. "But I have to work." You didn't even let him speak then smiled. "It was nice seeing you again, Yuta." You stood up without looking back. 

You have to save yourself from the heartbreak named Yuta Nakamoto. 

Yuta had been your first everything: first kiss, first time, first boyfriend, your first love. You first met him in junior high school, when he transferred from Japan and sat beside you. It only became inevitable that you fell in love with each other. He had dreams of opening a small business and traveling the world. You, on the other hand, wanted to be a musical actress. 

The road to your dream isn't as flowery as you thought. Lots of sleepless nights, the grueling competition in the field, the insecurities, and the impossible reach. It took a toll on you, as well as your relationship with Yuta. It didn't surprise you when he chose to leave for his own goal in life. But the breakup was so painful that it still haunts you in your dream. 

"Why do you suddenly want to go to New York?" your manager asked, obviously surprised at your decision. You have been doing well in the nightclub, many patrons kept coming back just to see you. Why leave when you're at the peak of your career? But you’re dead set on going to a different country. "It's about that guy, right? The one you met that night?" 

You sighed. He’s one of the reasons. Now that he's back, you just want to stay away from him. Maybe heal from him. There's no way you can get back with each other anyway. "Will you help me or not, manager? I needed a lot of money to move."

"Oh honey, I cannot give you a large amount of money," he claimed and you pouted while nodding. It is indeed weird how you ask him for huge money all of a sudden. "How long are you going to stay here?" 

"I can do a year, tops." 

"Well, I have this job but it will take time before you can earn money," he started. "But the pay is huge. You can even buy your own house abroad." That seemed tempting enough. Maybe you can do it. "A surrogate." 

You stared at him in surprise. What? "They're a gay couple and they wanted to have a baby. You will be the biological mother and they promise to give you everything you need." The older explained. "Once you give birth, whatever the gender of the baby, you can leave with a million dollars."

"That huge for a surrogate?" 

He nodded. "If I have eggs, I will do the job." That is a huge amount, you understood why he would say that. But having a baby? 

"But if I get pregnant, I can't dance in the club anymore." 

He nodded. "Other than the million dollars for the baby, they'll give you monthly allowances." That is such a huge amount of money, if ever. 

“What do I have to do again?” 

It’s not like you don’t want to get pregnant or even have a family of your own. You thought that it might be the reason why Yuta left you in the first place. He had always seen himself as a dad but all you ever wanted is to be famous, an actress. 

Then after all the glitz and glamour, have a family. With him. 

You wanted to have a child. A little boy who had the exact smile like your husband, the smile you loved from him. Or a little girl who had sparkling eyes like his. Eyes that would only look at you with love and happiness. 

A future that vanished before you could even dream about it. 

Maybe this is better. Have a child before everything else. This can drift your mind away from everything. 

So you accepted the job, making sure that you're presentable enough as a future mom for the child of the guy you’re meeting. You were thankful that they decided to meet you in a coffee shop near your apartment or you’ll back down if they asked you to come to a hotel or their place. 

The guy who sat in front of you looks dashing, with pale skin and sparkling eyes. His cheekbones were so high that made him so adorable. And when he introduced himself with an awkward laugh, you can’t help but smile. “I’m Mark Lee.” He might be younger than you. And honestly, you don’t mind sleeping with him just to bear his child. 

“Thank you for agreeing to be our surrogate, Y/N.” He looked so happy. The warmth of his eyes as he stared at you made you warm as well. “My husband wanted to have a child but…” he trailed off his words, giggling lightly. He had such an infectious laugh. “I hope the baby will look as pretty as you.” You tried to find the sarcasm in his tone but there’s nothing. Why is he flattering you like this? 

“My husband is coming from a meeting. I’m sure he would like you.” Mark supplied that you will be sleeping with his husband since he’s bi, unlike him. 

It was fascinating to find out about their relationship. He looks like he did love his husband for trusting him to sleep with someone like you. But all he kept saying is how pretty you are, how he would love if the child could get your eyes, how his husband would like you. 

Is he real? Maybe Mark Lee is an angel. And you can’t help but think that his husband is so lucky to marry him. 

“I’m sorry I’m late.” you heard someone say from behind you and you didn’t miss the smile on the man’s lips before you. The sparkle in his eyes made you smile. He really loves his husband. But when you turned to the owner of the voice, you almost dropped the fork you were using.  

“This is Y/N, she agreed to be the mother of our child.” Mark introduced. “This is Yuta Nakamoto, my husband.” he continued while holding the other’s chest. “I hope you don’t mind sleeping with him.” 

Fuck!

You didn’t know why you were still seated on the edge of the bed inside a motel room. You forced yourself to not hear any sound. Your eyes focused on one spot on the wall. 

Anything just to not think about the other person in the room with you. 

“I can just tell Mark to find another surrogate.” You heard his voice and you closed your eyes at the loud thumping of your heart. 

No! You need the money. And Mark is so nice, you cannot say no to him. 

But all these thoughts kept swirling in your mind. Yuta is married to a guy? You understood why he would fall for Mark. The initial impression of an angel didn’t even leave your mind. But why would Mark fall for someone like Yuta? 

Why did you fall for Yuta? 

“Thank you for not letting Mark know that we knew each other.” You only smiled timidly. 

You cannot forget his face while he’s giving you signals to not say anything. He only told you that it was nice to meet you before Mark kept the conversation going by claiming that he really liked you. “Doesn’t Mark know that you used to date girls?” 

“He knew,” Yuta answered in monotone. “I just don’t want him to feel awkward. He seemed to like you.” Another straight kill to your heart. 

The guy ruffled his hair and in a frustrated tone continued, “I told him that it was fine. Why does he have to push for this surrogacy?” 

The conversation you had with the younger guy in the coffee shop came to you. “Because you seemed to like the idea of having a child.” He glanced at you and for the first time that night, your eyes met. “He said you can adopt but he wanted the child to be part of you so this is his only choice.” 

It was Mark’s exact words. 

The words that convinced you that he’s in love with his husband. 

The words that convinced you that you’ll help Mark. 

“He only cared about you.”

“How are you alright with all of these?” 

A smirk played against your lips, “Why aren’t you?” His expression made you amused. This might be the time to turn the tables around. “You said Mark likes me and it’s not like we never slept together, Yuta. What are you so scared about?” 

But the question was also resonating through you. What are you so scared of? 

“Do you still get turned on with girls?” 

The answer came almost immediately. He held your wrist, pushing you to bed which made you blink in surprise. You felt your breath choke your throat at the sudden dominance that washed over Yuta. The feeling of his strong hands holding you once again, his eyes staring at only you, made your heartbeat crazy fast in your chest. “It must be you who’s scared.” 

Laughter escaped your lips, “This is my job, Yuta.” 

You pulled him close, letting your inner desire take over your body. His lips felt as soft as the first time you got the taste of him. His warmth still makes your body hot in lust that even if he’s slowly undressing you, you can only feel yourself being lit in fire. The fire that Yuta Nakamoto can only give you. His lips went south to your neck, his hands heading north from your waist to your breast. 

You were transported to the first time you had your experience with Yuta. It was in his dorm room, a year after dating. His kisses were so sloppy back then, lots of spit and teeth, that it startled you how his kisses got so much better now. He was so scared to touch you before but now, he was pushing you to the mattress as if not wanting to let you move. He knew the spots where to kiss and touch to get you going. A total opposite of your first time together. 

He held your wrists above your head, another hand on your waist, as he kept pounding into you. The creaking of the mattress made you aware that you were in a cheap motel but it didn’t stop the mewls coming out of your lips. Yuta kept on abusing your cunt making you orgasm again and again.  

God damn it! He was never like this before. You might not walk again after this. 

When he came, he made sure that he could fill you up by pushing your body to the mattress and holding your legs to wrap on his waist. He was breathless, sweat dripping from his forehead as he stared at you. You were catching your breath at the activity and because of his appearance.

Even if his sex skills changed, one thing hasn’t changed at all. He’s still the same handsome guy you fall in love with. 

And you hated how your heart kept on thumping on your chest at the thought of being in his arms again. 

This is dangerous! He’s married. 

You need to stop this craziness.  

“Where are you going?” You stopped on your tracks then looked behind your shoulder to see Yuta looking at you in a questioning gaze. You gave him an incredulous look before smirking when you turned around and headed to the bathroom after picking up your clothes. “Are you going to leave me like one of your customers in the nightclub? Y/N, I’m paying you…”

“To sleep with you, Yuta.” You continued, heading out of the bathroom fully clothed. “Not to cuddle with you. I’m not the same Y/N, just so you know.” 

That was liberating to say and you breathed heavily once outside the room. You repeatedly slapped yourself while waiting for the elevator, feeling damn proud of what you did. 

This time, it’s you who’s leaving him. 

But you knew that it was impossible not to see him again. 

The weight of what you did after having sex with him came to you like a wave. You shouldn’t have taken that morning-after pill. Now, he’s here in the audience and seated next to Mark. 

“So you’re going to be a babymaker for your ex-boyfriend?” Your manager asked which made you glare at him. 

It was him who introduced you to Mark. And although you badly want to stop this, you feel bad for Mark. You might just ruin their relationship as well. 

“I’m going to be a babymaker with my ex-boyfriend.” you corrected, hands crossed on your chest. You watched at the said ex-boyfriend, who gave you one of the best sex you had, leaned in to whisper at his smiling husband. 

Is it too late? Is there no way to make Yuta come back to you? But that would hurt Mark. 

Are you seriously considering his feelings now? 

You sighed then stomped your foot in annoyance. What should you do? You should have told Mark everything and then quit this. Yes, you’ll do that. 

“Hey babe, can you still perform?” your manager asked. Your senses came back as the speakers boomed the jazz music you will be performing tonight. “I understand if you cannot.” 

You shook your head. You’ve waited for this night. “I’ll do it.” You removed the robe covering your black leather-clad corset then adjusted your garter belt as the stage director handed you the microphone. You breathed heavily before putting a smile on your face as the curtains opened along with the change of notes of the song. 

Yes, you were a showgirl in a nightclub who slept with customers for a hefty sum. But singing and dancing is still your first love and you enjoyed the nights when they let you perform in front of the audience. Tonight, you were tasked to perform All that Jazz from the movie Chicago. A number that you knew by heart. 

The dream to be a musical actress started when you watched the movie and every year, Yuta would rent the movie for you to watch over and over again. Back in college, you were an understudy for the theater version of the same musical in your university and you felt heartbroken that you never actually performed the song in a large audience. It was your boyfriend who consoled you after that. 

The same boyfriend who is staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face, with another person in his arms. Mark seemed to enjoy your performance and when you raised your arm at the end note of the song, you saw him smiling proudly while clapping so hard and even standing up along with the other audiences. 

The applause you want. The applause you yearned for. And there’s nothing you want more in life but to keep hearing the applause as music in your ear. 

“You were so amazing earlier!” Mark exclaimed, clapping his hands in glee. “Isn’t she, love?” Yuta only nodded that made you lightly smile, whispering ‘thank you’. 

It isn’t the first time Yuta had seen you perform that song. You remembered when you felt heartbroken about not performing in a stage play, Yuta slipped you to the theater of the university late at night. You performed the whole song number for him and he clapped so hard that it sounded like you performed for a lot of people. 

Your first applause. Your first audience. He was all your firsts. 

“I hope the child can have your singing and dancing skills. You are truly amazing!” You smiled, Mark never really gets tired of complimenting you. Will he still be this nice if he found out about you and his husband? You glanced at Yuta who only stared at you. 

“Love, you have to be good to Y/N.” Mark’s words surprised you. “Have you seen the other guys who look at her? That’s some competition.” Huh? You really can’t decipher Mark’s words, “Yuta actually listens well. Just tell him what you need sexually and I’m pretty sure he won’t disappoint you.” 

You laughed then stopped when the other man glared at you. Is Mark even real?

Now, you have this crazy and evil intention of pushing Mark’s buttons. How much does he really trust Yuta? How much does he love his husband? And how loyal is Yuta to him? 

“Yeah.” A smirk played on your lips then leaned on the table, purposely pushing your breasts forward to show Yuta. “I’m sure he won’t disappoint.” 

"I personally think that the baby is a boy," Mark claimed, standing beside you inside the hospital room. "They said pregnant mothers are blooming when they carry boys." 

You grinned at him but Yuta shook his head. "Then it must be a girl. Y/N looks stressed every day." You glared at him, pinching his arm that made him yelp in pain. Mark chuckled before commenting that he liked how closer you became with Yuta. 

The talk really helped a lot. There's no awkwardness between the two of you now. 

Kun lightly tapped your stomach that has the gel used for the ultrasound. "I think you're still pretty, Y/N." he commented before heading to the machine to check on it. You heard Yuta make a gagging noise and Mark giggle. "Are you ready to know the gender of the baby?" 

You nodded before feeling the cold apparatus on the skin of your stomach. Mark kept on asking you if it is painful but you just shook your head, grasping his hand in comfort. Kun had a serious look on his face and you grew worried. Why is his reaction like that? Is there something wrong with the baby? 

"The baby is a she." 

"I told you," Yuta whispered before a flood of tears came out of your eyes. Mark had to slap his husband while Kun handed you tissues. 

A girl? The baby inside you is a girl? Damn these pregnancy hormones for making you overly sensitive on these things. 

It perfectly occurred to you that you are indeed pregnant. You grew conscious when Mark would often refer to 'she' as the person inside your stomach. A baby is really growing inside of you, a baby girl to be exact. 

You were also annoyed at the fact that Yuta is right, you feel so bloated and so unattractive. You are indeed an ugly pregnant lady. 

But Kun would always gush at how pretty you looked, how attractive you are even if you were just sitting on the couch and munching on fries. He was always visiting you, on his day off, checking on how you are. Mark calls it your special privilege as Kun's girlfriend. If Yuta easily gets turned on with fishnet stockings, maybe Kun is the same with pregnant women. And it scared you. He's an obstetrician. 

Mark, on the other hand, is always extra understanding. He really is an angel. He never gets mad even if you ask him to buy you sushi in the middle of the night or ask him to massage your sore legs. There are times when you were seated next to each other and his hand would unconsciously rub the bulge of your stomach. Maybe Mark also likes pregnant women.

They are so weird. 

"Markie," you called and he answered with a 'Yes, babe?' that make Yuta snicker, seated beside you. "Do you want to marry me?" The younger male laughed and then gave you a confused look. "Let's leave Yuta and just get married." 

Yuta took both your attention before sitting between you and Mark, creating a blockage between the two of you. "Mark is mine." You whined Mark's name, reaching out to him but Yuta kept pushing you away while holding his husband's arm. "You have your Kun, stop clinging to mine." 

You pouted, "I can share Kun with Markie." 

"Well, that is tempting." Mark whispered in a teasing tone, making Yuta glare at him. 

When you go to New York, you'll definitely miss the two of them.

It was one of the days when you were left at home with Yuta, Mark had to arrange some things in his work before his so-called ‘maternal leave’. Kun had given you three weeks before the baby’s due date and Mark is extra excited to meet the baby. Yuta handed you a glass of milk before stopping in his tracks to look at your stomach. “Are you alright?” he asked and you nodded, looking at him in confusion. “Your stomach.” A bump formed on your stomach, easily seen by the tight shirt you were wearing.

“The baby is kicking.” You quickly told him as he knelt in front of you asking if he could touch your stomach. You nodded. “This usually happens lately and Kun said that it’s a sign that the baby is healthy.” 

“It’s my first time seeing it.” His gentle fingers followed the movement, smiling. “Does it hurt?” 

You shook your head. At first, it was. You even thought that the baby will suddenly come out of your skin. You had to call Kun late at night and he assured you that it was normal. “She likes it if you talk to her.” You noticed how active the baby is whenever Mark would tell her a bedtime story. 

“Can I?” You nodded. “Hi princess,” You laughed. It was the same words Mark would use to address her. “Are you excited to come out?” There was another movement in your stomach as if she was responding to Yuta’s voice. “Papa is excited to see you as well.” Yuta’s finger trailed on the skin of your stomach, “Please come out healthy,” You only heard him sniff before wiping his eye discreetly. “My daughter.” 

A little father-daughter bond. An experience you can only see now. Never again. 

“Y/N, thank you.” You turned to him in surprise. “In the end, it was still you who will complete my dream.” 

Yuta might have really loved the idea of having a child. You have never seen him cry before, even if you know him for years. Just now. You were also surprised when he said that he wanted to lie on your lap so he can be near the baby. He was humming a song to her, chuckling whenever you groan if the baby kicks. 

When Mark entered the house, claiming that he has sushi, you immediately put a finger on your lip. He looked surprised that Yuta is sleeping on the couch, head on your lap. “He cried today.” You said and the surprise on Mark’s face made you laugh. You wouldn’t believe it either if you didn’t witness it. “You were right, Yuta does want this child.” 

Mark smiled just as Yuta stirred in his sleep. He completely woke up seeing his husband standing by the the couch. “You’re home. Did you eat already?” Mark nodded and you watched how Yuta kissed the top of the younger’s head. They look so good together. 

And you were sure that a baby can complete what they have. 

“Let’s go to the mall tomorrow.” Mark announced, “Let’s buy some things for the baby.” 

And from the tone of his voice, you knew it isn’t only Yuta who wanted this child. 

“Should we buy pink socks? Or light blue socks?” Mark asked showing two colors of baby socks. “Let’s just get both and maybe a white one.” You glanced at Yuta who was holding the pushcart full of things for the baby. Mark had been selecting a lot of things, in different colors as well. You knew they were rich and that Mark had a portion of his money for the baby’s birth but this is just too much. The baby might grow up without using some of the things he bought. 

“Shouldn’t you stop him?” You asked but Yuta just shook his head, laughing. “He’s excited. Just let him.” You nodded. He does look like it.

You were just strolling around with Yuta, looking for Mark who seemed to be hiding from the two of you. “Oh my God. Y/N! Yuta!” You heard someone call that made you turn to the owner of the voice. A classmate from before. You remember she was one of the few who was at the reunion. She stared at your stomach then at the two of you. “The two of you finally got back together.” She exclaimed which made your eyes widen. “I have to go tell my husband.” 

“Wait, it’s not…” But she’s already walking briskly to one side of the store. 

You were ready to follow her when you heard a voice from behind you. “Got back together?” You and Yuta stared at Mark who looked surprised. Did he hear everything? Fuck, you should have told him everything beforehand. “Of course, how stupid of me.” He claimed with a laugh. 

“Mark, it’s not what you think…”

“I’ve always wondered why Yuta knows you hated the sides of the toasts. That you know Yuta hated mushrooms on his pasta.” He said quietly and you glanced at Yuta who was only staring at Mark. He should do something. “Did you two plan this?” What? “Then you’ll run away with the baby after everything?” 

You stepped forward to hold Mark but he stepped back. Pain is written on his face and you perfectly understood how betrayed he must have felt. “Mark, don’t overreact,” Yuta claimed which made you look at him in annoyance. That’s all he’s going to say? He’s just adding oil to the fire. 

“What about Kun, Y/N? Is he a decoy or are you a slut who wants two guys at once?” What? 

“Mark!” Yuta shouted, earning looks from other people in the store. 

The younger removed his ring then threw it at Yuta. “I shouldn’t have trusted you both.” He walked past you and Yuta, the older guy ready to hold him back but your stomach had other ideas. 

It was different from the usual pain of the baby kicking. This is more intense. Like your body being ripped in half. A strangled moan escaped your lips as you crouched down to stop your stomach from acting up. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” Yuta asked and you held on to his arm, groaning in pain. From the corner of your vision, you can see Mark’s worried gaze on you. 

Then you felt it. Water gushing from your core followed by excruciating pain. “Mark, hurry up and call Kun.” You heard Yuta say before he carried you in his arms, Mark saying Kun’s name through the phone. 

The baby shouldn’t come out now. It’s two weeks early. Why is this happening now? And why is it so painful? “Deep breaths, Y/N.” Mark whispered, holding you tight as you were both seated on the backseat of the car. “Yuta, hurry up!” 

“I’m trying!” the driver shouted, panic evident in his voice. 

“Mark,” you called weakly. “I’m sorry. It’s not what you think. Yuta and I…”

“Save your energy for the baby.” You held on to his shoulder as a sudden pain can be felt. 

Unlike the two others guys, Kun was calm when you reached the hospital. He assured you that you’ll be fine and you’re doing great, reminding you to keep taking heavy breaths. “I need one of you inside the emergency room.” You heard Kun say to the two guys before hearing Mark’s voice saying, “Yuta, you should go. She’s your daughter.” 

The lights inside the room were so bright that you were sweating hard. It also didn’t help that you just wanted to just strangle someone with the pain you’re feeling. “Do you trust me, Y/N?” Kun asked, standing in front of you. 

“Can you ask me that question when you’re inserting something inside me, not taking something out of me?” 

You heard him chuckle, “God, I love your sense of humor.” You rolled your eyes before grasping Yuta’s hand tight. “I want you to push, Y/N. Breathe hard then push.” You nodded and saw how he looked at Yuta. 

The guy holding you wiped the sweat on your face, “Listen to Kun, Y/N. You can do this.” You keep on shaking your head, telling him that you cannot do it but he would hush you up, telling you that you can. Groans of pain can be heard echoing through the room. How can childbirth hurt like this? 

You realized once again how amazing mothers are. How they carry a child inside their stomach for nine months? All the sleepless nights, the unhealthy cravings, the anxiety of just keeping the person inside them alive. Then the fucking pain of getting that baby out of them. 

You should have been a better daughter to your mom.  

Then the pain was gone. The sound of beeping, heavy breathing and groans were replaced by a loud screeching cry. The baby is here. She’s out of you now. 

She isn’t yours anymore. 

“I’m sorry I’m the first person to hold her,” Kun claimed, rocking the baby in his arms. He was supposed to give you the child but you gestured to Yuta, asking the doctor to teach her father how to hold her. 

The light in Yuta’s eyes twinkled as he gazed at the smaller human in his arms. He looked so happy. The happiness he deserved. “Yuta, I’m done with my job. You should do yours.” Both he and Kun stared at you in surprise, “Take care of her,” 

You gave one last look at the child in his arms before continuing, “...and Mark.”  

---------------

With the last note you belted, you saw how the audience erupted with cheers and a standing ovation. The loud applause that you have always dreamed of, happening in front of you. A dream you cannot possibly reach without the people supporting you with all their might. 

You spotted your mom with tears in her eyes as if it was the first time she saw you standing on stage. New York is honestly a great help for her. It was hard at first. She kept on looking for Hana, thinking that she was you. But you didn’t leave her side everyday, even if it hurts you. You should be a better daughter, you promised yourself that. Then one day, she just woke up and hugged you tight. It was such a dramatic moment. Her voice breaking while apologizing and you, crying heavily at the regret of not taking care of her enough. 

A thorn in your heart was removed that night. 

And you were thankful that the only family member you had is getting better. That the woman who carried you for nine months and even sacrificed herself to give birth to you is back. 

“Y/N,” Kim Doyoung, your co-actor called while hugging you tight. “Congratulations on another jam-packed night.” You giggled and congratulated him as well. It wouldn’t be possible to fill the theater if not for him. 

It was a small theater and a small production but it’s still Broadway so it holds something. A dream you never thought you would actually reach. A musical actress. In Broadway. Who would have thought that it will come true? “Please thank your husband for the food he sent,” he claimed and you nodded at him. 

And it was all because of him. He supported you with everything: the failed auditions, the supporting gigs, and all the line reciting. He had been your number one supporter. Your rock who never changed since day one. The person who gives you all the happiness in the world. 

“I’m surprised he still has time to cook this amazing lunch when he’s busy in the hospital.” one co-actor claimed that made you smile. “That’s how Doctor Qian Kun loves his wife.” Doyoung continued. 

The smile didn’t leave your face as they complimented your husband’s cooking skills. When Kun promised that he’ll take care of you, he did do it. Although he was promoted as a senior doctor in a New York hospital, he never failed to do everything for you. And you were thankful. 

“You did great earlier.” your husband complimented, arm wrapped around your waist as he kissed you on the forehead. “I feel like falling in love with you all over again.” A giggle escaped your lips. His classic line. Such a romanticist. “Oh, and honey, someone is here to see you.” A curious look was all you can give him when he pointed outside the door to greet your visitor. 

Your heart kept on stammering hard on your chest. Kun knows you hated surprises so what is this all of a sudden? When you opened the door, a bouquet of flowers is what you can see covering the face of the person who wanted to see you. When he put it down, you were shocked to see a beaming guy in front of you. “Hey, babe.” You opened your arms to hug Mark, asking him how he found you. “I saw you on the poster outside. It’s so hard to get tickets but I’m glad I scored one.”

“Are you alone here in New York?” You looked behind him to see if he was with someone else and he nodded while apologizing that it was a business trip. “I’m so happy to see you.” 

“Me too, Y/N.” He whispered before hugging you once again. “I’m sorry.” 

When you gave birth, you found out from Kun that Mark just disappeared. It was Yuta who explained that he went to Canada to ‘clear his head’ and that when the baby is cleared, they’ll go to him. Their flight was the last time you saw Yuta and their daughter. You didn’t have the chance to apologized to him but he’s here and doing it for you. 

“I should have listened to you that time.” He continued, “And I’m sorry for saying mean words to you.” You shook your head. That was all in the past now. You moved on. Hopefully, he also moved on. “I feel bad when Yuta told me that you didn’t accept the money. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” 

You shook your head. You’re more apologetic for keeping him in the dark. “If it helps, Yuta does love you. He cares a lot about you and he’s taking care of our daughter.” You smiled but he continued, “Your daughter.” You gave him an apologetic look. “Thank you Y/N for making Yuta’s dreams come true. For making us happy.” You called his name while crying but he only pulled you in for a hug once again, rubbing the back of your head. “You’re not pregnant yet you still cry easily.” 

A chuckle escaped your lips, “I love you, Y/N.” He whispered, “If only I’m not gay and you’re not married.” 

You hastily wiped the tears from your eyes, laughing. “And I also love you, Markie.” 

He laughed, that infectious laugh that you missed so bad. “Congratulations on your marriage with Kun. Yuta had to cry when we found out because he’s not invited.” You laughed at that. That’s impossible besides it was just a small wedding. If not for Kun’s preparedness, you might assume that it was an out-of-spur moment. But it’s still memorable for you. “If you have time to go visit us, you should see Ichika. She actually adores you.” 

That made you stop. Their daughter knows about you?      

-------

“She looks exactly like you,” Kun whispered while watching the younger girl run to the playground of the kids’ café, Yuta following close behind her. 

And you thought you wouldn’t see them together again. 

It was Kun who convinced you to meet Ichika, reasoning out that he’s curious about what she looks like. You were astounded when she entered the door of the café, followed by her two dads, and ran excitedly to you while calling you ‘mommy’. It was a different feeling. Your heart beating fast when she hugged you and kept on exclaiming that she had always wanted to hug you. 

You only stared at the young girl smiling at you, waving her hand. That’s her already? She used to be inside your stomach, kicking you. But now, she’s running and playing with other kids. A warm feeling engulfed your heart every time you would hear the word ‘mommy’ coming out of her lips. Maybe you’re more attached to her than you initially thought. 

The baby who once occupied your stomach. Now, a young girl occupying your heart. 

“She had been begging us to go to New York just to see you.” Mark claimed then chuckled, “She didn’t even sleep last night when we told her we’re meeting you and kept asking us if her dress is pretty.” Ichika laughed, the same infectious laugh as Mark’s. But when she smiled, she had the same toothy grin as Yuta.

“She’s so big now.” You exclaimed, staring lovingly at her before bopping her nose. “And your dress looks so pretty.” The younger girl giggled shyly. 

Mark claimed that even at a young age they explained everything to Ichika. It worried you at first, before seeing them, about her reaction to you marrying another guy that is not her father. But Ichika was also warm to Kun and even called him ‘Daddy Kun’ when she gave him a hug. “Mommy and daddy Kun can have a baby, right papa?” She asked and Yuta nodded. “Mommy, can I have a younger sibling?” 

Kun held your hand tight from under the table. “Ichika, we already talked about it,” Mark exclaimed but the younger just reasoned out that it’s still her brother even if it is yours and Kun’s child. Which is technically correct. 

She’s also smart. She can’t get it from you or even Yuta. Maybe Mark? Or Kun?  

When she left to go play again, Mark apologized. “But you’re married, aren’t you planning to have a child?” Yuta asked which made his husband glare at him. 

You do. You had even planned it before getting married. “We wanted to.” Kun started and it was your turn to hold his hand tight while gently calling his name. He shouldn’t just tell this to them. Isn’t it too personal?

But Kun just smiled your way, “I have fertility issues so it’s hard for us to conceive a baby.” You sighed. It’s not a big deal. You already assured him that if you cannot have a child, it would be fine. But he was the one who actually wanted it. “We’re currently looking for sperm donors.” 

It was your last choice. Luckily, his work is involved in these things so it isn’t a problem for the both of you. Yet the idea of having someone else’s sperm inside you, breeding you, is weird. 

“What about Yuta?” The three of you looked at Mark in confusion and surprise. “You’ve done it before and it will be Ichika’s dream come true. To have a younger sibling.” What? Can Mark even hear himself? 

“That’s not a bad thought.” Kun agreed and you stared at him in surprise. What? He can’t be serious. “It is better if it’s Yuta who would put a baby inside you.” Is this some kind of a dream? Is this really Kun, your husband?

“Are you seriously alright with this?” Mark and Kun both nodded. You turned to Yuta who only shrugged. 

“Y/N, just let Yuta help you the way you helped us.” 

“Yeah, love, it’s fine. I trust Yuta more than I trust other guys.” 

Your head starting spinning at the thought. You and Yuta? Once again?  

—---

“I guess we’ll have to do this again,” Yuta claimed, seated on the hotel bed that made you breath heavily.

“Why are we even stuck together like this?” 

Yuta chuckled at that, nodding. “It was our husbands' idea,” he claimed and you nodded, rolling your eyes. You can definitely claim that both Mark and Kun have some weird kinks. “Do you think something will happen to them in the next room?” 

A giggle escaped your lips, “I don’t think Kun rolls like that.” You glanced at the wall by the headboard of the bed. “But they are surely listening from the next room.” 

“We’re not!” You heard Mark’s muffled voice from the next room, Kun hushing him up, which made you laugh. Truly weird. 

“Then,” Yuta started removing his shirt. You screamed when he pushed you to bed, body bouncing on the soft mattress.  “Be loud for our husbands next room.”

Maybe this will be your destiny together. 

To be a surrogate with Yuta. 

"Where is Mark?" You asked, sitting on the kitchen stool while stretching your arms. You quit working in the club as for Kun’s advice and Mark’s persuasion. Of course, who would want to see a pregnant woman stripping? But it annoyed you that Yuta’s initial plan, to make you quit being a showgirl, happened.   

You also call it pregnancy hormones that your day isn't complete without seeing Mark. You feel like he’s the only one who could complete your day. 

"He went out," Yuta answered then turned to look at you. "Do you need anything?" Ever since you shouted at each other, he had been so cold with you. Honestly, you didn't care at all. What matters is that Mark will always come to you during appointments and seminars. 

It even feels like Mark is the father of the child with how hands-on he was in taking care of you. 

Yuta placed a plate of bacon on the kitchen table and you wince at the visual. Pregnancy hormones. "I want some eggs." He raised an eyebrow that made you roll your eyes at him. What a pervert. "Sunny-side-up eggs." 

He turned around to take eggs from the fridge and you grinned. It's nice to boss Yuta around. "Kun said we can know the gender of the baby after two weeks. Will you be coming with Mark and me to the hospital?" You asked while poking the bacon on the plate. Yuta scoffed before saying that he will be busy and couldn't come.

You just pouted and said 'okay' in monotone. He just doesn't want Kun to know that he is Mark's husband. Your doctor is curious about it but you were so careful about mentioning anything. Surprisingly, Mark isn't letting it slip as well. 

When you went to the clinic to hear the baby's heartbeat, Mark almost cried and even said that his husband would be happy to know that the baby is alive. 

But now while watching Yuta's back, you realized it's not the case. Maybe he doesn't care at all. 

He placed a plate of two perfectly made sunny-side-up eggs in front of you. “What’s this?” He stared at you, obviously annoyed. “I want Mark’s eggs. Not yours.” He sighed, raising his eyebrow at the evident annoyance he had on you. You pushed the plate back to him, “I don’t want this.” 

“Y/N, it’s the same.” 

“It’s not!” you shouted, tears falling from your eyes. “I want Mark’s.” 

“My what?” Mark appeared from the hallway and you ran to him, hugging him. “What happened? Did you and Yuta fight again?” But you just wrapped your arms around him. You knew he gave Yuta the paper bag he was holding earlier and talked to his husband quietly before caressing your back. “Don’t cry. I’ll make you sunny-side-up eggs, hmm?” 

You grinned and he ruffled your hair. Yuta hissed from behind and Mark just chuckled, “Love, she’s pregnant.” 

Those were the words that you enjoy hearing from Mark’s lips. Maybe it really is the pregnancy hormone but you always enjoyed annoying Yuta. Before, your day wouldn’t be complete without seeing Mark’s face. Lately, you can’t go to sleep without making Yuta mad at you. Mark would always explain that it was just your hormones. That you’re pregnant and you’re just enjoying the other’s company. 

You grew closer to Mark. So close that your decision to move out of their place was easily forgotten. He would always be with you but he still has some work to do which needs his immediate concern. 

“I’ll be back quick, I promise.” He said in a soft voice that made you pout. It’s a parenting seminar for when you give birth and Mark is supposed to come with you but he needed to go to a business trip for an emergency at work. “Yuta can come with you.” The other guy even looked at him in concern but Mark pouted, pleading at his husband. 

Yuta loves Mark. You’re already aware of that. But this just cements it. He did come with you to the seminar just because of Mark's begging. “You can just drop me off. I know you hate being seen with me.” But he even came with you to the lobby of the hotel where the seminar will be held. 

You were walking a few feet away from Yuta. If he hates being seen with you, you also hate being seen with him, especially with a bulging stomach. They might assume that he’s the father of the child. You stopped then realized that he is. Yet you slowly hated the idea. 

“Y/N!” you heard someone call and was surprised when you saw Kun waving at you from across the lobby. You lightly glanced at Yuta before turning to the other guy who was walking to where you are. “How are you?” he asked while tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Where’s Mark?” 

“He’s on a business trip.” 

“So you’re alone today? I specifically told him that you should be accompanied by…” Kun stopped with his words as you felt someone holding your shoulder. 

You turned to see Yuta glaring at Kun, holding you. “I’m with her. You can go your way, Kun.” What the heck is wrong with him? Doesn’t he realize that he’ll get discovered like this? 

A grin can be seen on your face when you turned to Kun. “I asked Yuta to come with me today since he’s not that busy.” You tried to cover up. 

“I’ll go with you. I’m your obstetrician. I’m still inside when you give birth. I’ll just relay Mark the information.” You glanced at Yuta who had his jaw clenched. Why does it feel like they’ll fight in the lobby? “You should have come here with Mark’s husband. He’s the father of your child. Can’t he just have the decency to be responsible and show up?” And why is Kun getting so agitated over this? 

You heard Yuta sigh before he pulled you closer to him. “Just leave, Kun.” But the other guy held your forearm, pulling you to him. “I’m trying to be responsible so don’t test my patience.” You stared at him in surprise, Kun also turning to fully look at Yuta. “I am Mark’s husband. And I am the father of her child.” 

A smirk can be seen on Kun’s lips, “Why am I not surprised, Nakamoto?” 

It was awkward. Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine being seated between your ex-boyfriend, who is also the father of your child, and the current person who makes your heart race, your obstetrician. A lot of mothers were looking your way, whispering to their husbands about how you had two guys seated on both your sides. It also doesn’t help that Kun kept on asking the presenter about things that you knew he already knows about. 

When the host of the seminar asked the fathers to give gratitude to their wives for carrying their babies, you only gave a heavy sigh. It’s a usual activity in seminars. “Do you usually do this in these seminars?” Yuta asked, “Have you ever kissed Mark?” What? Why would you do that? You can skip the kissing part. Besides, it’s not like Mark is comfortable with kissing you. 

Kun chuckled. “Are you troubled that she kissed your husband? Or is it because he kissed your ex-girlfriend?” You looked at Kun in surprise. What the hell is wrong with the two of them? 

“Jerk,” Yuta whispered but Kun answered, “Not as huge as a jerk as you are.” 

You groaned in annoyance. Suddenly, you missed Mark. 

Yuta looked annoyed when you told him that you were going back with Kun. He kept on asking you if you were sure and how Mark would get mad if you go with a stranger, making the other laugh. It was the doctor who closed the door of the car for him, telling him to just go. “He really annoys the hell out of me,” Kun complained once Yuta’s car is out of the parking lot. 

You sighed, “Trust me, he does.” 

Kun only looked at you before turning his gaze to your stomach. “Did he force you to do it?” You shook your head. “Did you know that he married a guy before you did this with him?” You nodded and he just closed his eyes, looking frustrated. “Why Y/N?” 

“It was you who told me the reason, didn’t you?” Kun breathed heavily. “I care about his and Mark’s happiness.” 

He reached an arm towards you, pulling you to him and wrapping you in a warm hug. “God, you!” he exclaimed in frustration. His fingers thread the strands of your hair, the other tapping your back. “Now, I badly want to care for your happiness.” 

During the car ride, he inferred if Mark knows about you and Yuta. You only saw his frustration grow when you said no. “When are you going to tell him? Are you even going to tell him?” 

You shrugged, “If Yuta wanted to say it. I don’t want to ruin what they have.” 

“Are you really alright with their relationship? And you live with them? Are you trying to torture yourself?” You smiled. It’s nice to hear someone being worried over you. He held on to the steering wheel too tight, hissing to himself. “Y/N, if you don’t come to me to New York after all this. Can I just kidnap you?” 

A giggle escaped your lips, “Kun, I’ll come with you willingly.” 

Instead of the apartment, you asked if he can drop you at the hospital. He looked worried at first, repeatedly asking if you were feeling unwell but you only shook your head. You just wanted to visit your mom suddenly. It is the pregnancy that you kept missing her. Is this how she felt while carrying you? It’s so hard to be pregnant. And here you are, growing up useless.

Kun reminded you that you had to call him, even claiming that he’ll be in his office even on his day off just to wait for you. Once again, you shook your head and said that you’ll just take a cab home and that he needed to rest. He stepped closer to you, his warm hand on your cheek that has a healing scar from what happened the last time. “Y/N, I’m not worthy of you.” He whispered that made you chuckle. What is he talking about? You are the one not worthy of him and his time. “But just one call and I will drop anything for you.”

“I’ll call you.” 

A triumphant grin can be seen on his lips, his dimple popping on his cheek. All these cheesy lines to force you to call him. It’s so hard to date a romanticist. But it’s thrilling. 

You were in a good mood while walking to the hallway of your mom’s room. Maybe you’ll just drop by and ask how she is from Hana, have a peek of how she is and you’ll go. The door was opened that startled you, a curtain covering her but you can hear a faint sound of her talking to someone. “Y/N is stubborn but she’s a nice girl. I hope you take care of her.” 

It made you stop. Who is she talking to? 

From the corner of the room, you saw a glance of a denim jacket and smelled the faint scent of musky perfume. The jacket you were wearing earlier because of the cold with the same scent. “Please keep on loving her, Yuta.” 

“I will, eommeoni.” 

You closed the door behind you, breath choking your throat. What is Yuta doing here? How did he find out about your mom? Hana called your name and you just stared at her in surprise. If there’s someone who can answer your question, that would be her. “That guy. How long has he been coming here to visit mom?” 

She looked worried at first but answered in a soft voice, “Almost half a year.” What? That’s even before he met you the first time in the club. “He was the one who forced your mom to therapy. He also paid some of the additional medical fees.” You leaned on the wall in shock. He had been doing that all this time? “I’m sorry, Miss Y/N. He told me not to tell you anything.” 

Why the hell would Yuta do that? And how did he know about your mom? He was already in Canada when the accident happened. He was already out of your life when it happened. So just why? 

Yuta looked surprised seeing you leaning on the door of his car when he went down to the parking lot. You knew he knew he was already found out. Why are all of Yuta’s secrets getting exposed today? “Y/N, I can explain,” he said quietly and you nodded, begging him to explain everything. “I was searching about you and saw the recital. I called the director to check on you and he told me about what happened.” You closed your eyes in annoyance. Of course. “When I came back, I tried to look for your mom and the doctors told me how bad it was.”

“You shouldn’t have cared, Yuta.” 

“I know but I can’t.” He claimed. You crouched on the ground feeling your knees weaken. “I feel sorry. I left you when you needed me the most and I can’t return to the way we used to be. I wanted to help you." The tears fell down. He shouldn’t have done anything at all. This isn't his problem. Why does he have to care? You’re slowly hating him more now. 

Yuta crouched down to be on the same level as you. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said in a soft voice. "I already caused you too much pain. I wanted to ease the pain you’re feeling in a different way. To ease your suffering.” You stared at him in annoyance. "This is years late but I am sorry." 

You might have really moved on from him. You didn't realize how much you wanted to hear those words from him. Maybe it was what you were just waiting for all these years. He held your cheeks, wiping the tears. "Can you stop crying? You can't be stressed like this, Kun will kill me." 

"Yuta, can I kill you too?" 

He chuckled and you realized how long you last heard his laugh. Before, it made your heart race. Now, it's nothing. "If that is what makes you better, go ahead." You punched his arm but he only laughed, helping you stand up and get inside the car. 

Is this the closure everyone is talking about? This was the first, you realized, that you don't feel awkward with Yuta. That you weren't thinking of annoying him or seducing him. It's a liberating feeling. "Yuta, when I go to New York I'm going to pay back all the money you spend on my mom." He shook his head, reasoning that you don't have to do that and just focus on getting your mom well. He then repeated the word New York, asking what you planned to do in the foreign city. "Kun helped me find a hospital in New York that could help mom." 

"So you're moving to New York with Kun?" You nodded, wanting to joke about Kun kidnapping you if you won't. "I hope Kun will give you the happiness you deserve, Y/N. But then, I'm pretty sure he would." You gave him a curious look. "He's been in love with you since senior year." 

Wait. How did Yuta know about that? "He has these heart eyes whenever he would look at you and when I borrowed his notes once, your name was doodled on the last page." A smile can be seen on Yuta's face, "But your eyes were always on me that you never noticed that." You did. 

"I'm sorry I always made you feel like the bad guy in our relationship. When I met Mark, I realized that you love me differently than how I expect you to be. That I’m the selfish one who only thought about myself." 

You just wanted some closure, not this. Yet you didn't stop Yuta and just let him continue. “I was so insecure that you don’t love me the same way as I love you. That when your dreams come true, you would choose theater over me.” That’s not true. "Yet you never forget birthdays or special occasions, never forgets championship games. You hated cooking but always makes me those salty porridges..." 

"You said you like it!" 

"I do! Even if it only tasted of salt." You punched his arm again making him laugh. "And you love hitting me." 

"I realized that's how you cared for me. Then it's already too late because I already hurt you for leaving and I'm already falling deep for Mark." He suddenly stopped and then turned to you. "There was a fleeting moment, when I first saw you in the club, that I thought about leaving Mark to come back to you." 

"Oh my God! You plan to make me a homewrecker?" Yuta laughed when you hit his arm again, warning you that it's already the third time and that it already hurts. "You deserve it, fucker!" 

"I do." He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. An action that Kun always does and would make your heart jump on your chest. But with Yuta, it’s nothing once again. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m a jerk for hurting you and moving on first. We can’t go back to what we were before but I hope you can forgive me for everything I did to you.” 

You nodded. Ever since you saw the wedding ring on his finger, when you first met Mark, and when you lived with them, you realized that it is indeed impossible for the two of you to go back together. "Yuta, promise me that you'll always love Mark. You do not deserve that angel but he loves you and he's happy with you so don't hurt him." 

He nodded, smiling. "I'll do that if you promise to always choose what would make you happy.” You nodded,  “And take care of yourself." The sides of your lips curled up. 

It was a quiet ride back home but your heart is happy. A free feeling. Like a thorn had been removed from your caged heart. You should have had this talk with Yuta sooner. 

"Yuta," he turned to you, humming as an answer. "If Kun and I decided to kill you, do you think Mark would help us bury your body?" 

He laughed wholeheartedly then nodded, "Mark loves you so he'll probably will."