#super injunctions

Alan Rusbridger (1hr9m: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zmueZShkWt0)

Louis/Harry interacting at all ever has become this dangerous volatile thing. It’s ridiculous.

I’d like to suggest this is a picture of me hung in the National Portrait Gallery doing Carmen at Glynbourne. In fact it’s me doing an amusing pastiche (one verse only – the other singers are more familiar with the words – fair enough) in my back garden for a piss take of a pop song (with a similar name but not with the Ymerodraeth word in it) – but hey, if that’s the only way to get on Comic Relief then I’m in. Listen - if you get the call from them –it leads to all kinds of spin offs -Super Injunctions, a strand on The One Show trying not to do thigh touching with Giles Brandreth - or signed up for Panto which I’ve already done thank you – twice. And no I’m not bitter –cos I’ll be at the RSC this Xmas (me being nasty and no I’m not sorry). Notice I’m the only one talking about the Welsh Comic Relief thing now – because I’m getting rather big in Wales. I say this because I’m revving up for a top secret REALITY SHOW in July where I have to put on a WET SUIT - not all the time – I also have to remember to take my spanx, my glasses, my asthma spray but no valuables … I must also mix nicely with other WELSH CELEBRITIES and not get competitive at all….. I know it’s not the jungle – but I like to be more trail blazing than eating testes and other irritants. Bitter? Not me dears.

My other new best friend Sandra Dickinson who I was paired up with for ‘Celebrity Coach Trip’ just sent me some libido pills from the states – either they’re not working or one is not enough …(felt like I was a slipping down a Viagra) give it time – must remember to take them regularly along with the ones for joints (bones not hashish kind) ginseng for the brain and the ones for hair skin and nails – pointless really since I have to have acrylics – am a compulsive nail biter – most attractive. We were sworn to secrecy not to say publicly anything about Michael Barrymore being on ‘Celebrity Coach Trip’ and falling over – until it transmits in the autumn but it seems everyone knows he did that – he’s the Ryan Giggs of Channel Four…

Firstly, a word of congratulations; if you're reading this, you have survived God’s thunderous reckoning and the great rapture. Well done. Secondly, if you don’t know the name of the footballer at the centre of the super injunction fiasco, I’d just Google it. I can’t help but think he’s scored his most embarrassing own goal, in front of his home crowd, in a cup final. How big must his ego be to think he can control what’s said on the internet; merely to cover up his indiscretion. Let’s put this into context. The internet, more specifically, social networking has proved it can overthrow governments; (as well as give hipsters the chance to vent their PBR induced 'irony') hey just ask President Mubarak, and can be a critical instigator of change; as any brave Libyan rebel would testify. Think of it as a virtual garden fence where neighbours and friends can share their news – might not seem that revolutionary described like that, but when this news and chatter can be accessed and used by thousands of people, a whole country perhaps; this garden fence is something that keeps brutal dictators up at night. With all this in mind, does this one man honestly believe he can silence what is effectively the whole human race? The irony here is that if he had let the tawdry tale hit the newspapers without any fuss; we would have forgotten all about it by now. A textbook example of the ‘Streisand effect.’ This footballer not only fatally underestimated the people of the internet; he failed to learn from fellow player John Terry’s experience. Like him, this case isn’t about what he did anymore. It’s gone beyond that. So. A lesson to the rich and famous; own up, because it’s going to hurt a lot less.

In my last post, I asked how long super injunctions could last. The answer is, not very long as the footballer at the centre of the allegations, Ryan Giggs, was unmasked this week in Parliament.

See if you can guess who they are...