#sunruined

SDFJSHD DHF WJKDFH ME AN AVID BELIEVER OF FINNS LIGHTSABER BEING PURPLE??????

ME IN LOVE WITH FINN KENOBI????

ME LOVING YOU??

ME LOVING YOU TOO??? ME YELLING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE YES LET’S DO A THING????

          days. that’s all it’s been since yet another alien ship descended upon new york, violent winds whipping through city streets, whole buses and cars flung for blocks. just another weekday, finn had panted as they’d ducked for cover, hands clasped with white-knuckled grips. they were nowhere near where iron man had supposedly been spotted, confronting earth’s newest visitors— but the terror and confusion all around them had still been as palpable as if they were huddled together in the epicenter. they’d worked together where they could to try to help minimize damages, finn’s abilities allowing him to sense where the most trouble might be, where a lost child might be afraid— and rey’s allowing her to halt flying debris, to push back against those winds just long enough for finn to soothe that child and coax them back to safety.

          needless to say, as an empath and a telepath— they make a good team. the best, she often thinks. so much so that some days, rey isn’t sure how she ever made it so far through life without finn to balance her, to be the yang to her yin, to remind her with every sunny smile how very much alone she is not. they protect each other all while saving others, together. there wasn’t much she was sure of before him— it isn’t even as if she has all the answers now— but from the first life they saved, this call to do good changed her world more than her emerging powers did. finn gave her purpose when her mind was jumbled, made her certain of what she was made to do after all— but more than that, he gave her friendship, he gave her love. he gave her the future.

          —which is why any attempt he makes to use his abilities on her is in vain as his body begins to dissolve into thin air before her very eyes, her fingers soon flexing around nothing. i don’t feel so good, he says, not fully understanding why— until the calm he tries to exude for her evaporates as soon as he realizes what is happening to himself, deep brown eyes following her stricken gaze.

          “ finn? ” her voice is pitched with panic, eyes wide and filling with fear— the kind that grips her body in a cold vice. she stumbles forward in a desperate attempt to hold onto what remains of him at the same moment that he surges forward into her, seeking comfort, familiarity. even so, they’ve known for a while now that this world they live in is constantly changing and harder still to pinpoint, to understand. rey, rey, what’s happening, i don’t know what’s happening— he gasps out, frantically grabbing at his own body as it disappears into dust. she chokes on a sob, arms reaching out to encircle him, to pull him back from whatever precipice this is that’s trying to steal him away from her— only to fall on her knees, chest as empty as her hands, nothing but ashes in place of where her other half once stood.

REY’S  SURVIVAL  GUIDE  (  1  /  ?  )        ↪   finn  (  @sunruined  ),  post battle of crait.

          months ago, the words press tour had sounded innocuous enough, given how far away into the future the prospect of one had seemed at the time— and given how frantically she'd been focused on keeping her head above water during the shoot. now, fresh off her first film ( first acting gig ever, really ), rey feels an uneasiness, a sense of dread settle in the pit of her stomach, palms slick as she waits in the wings of some new stage set she was shepherded to not long before. it seems just yesterday they wrapped principal photography, gathering on the largest studio lot to celebrate before the party eventually moved elsewhere. even for as daunting as shooting an actual film has been ( especially given her lack of meaningful experience ), the routine of it had begun to feel safe. comfortable. funny; in a job that offers such little stability and ever evolving hours, it’s certainly easy to fall into it and forget the world outside of their little filming bubble.

          one panel, a handful of interviews and several small carpets later, rey no longer needs reminding of its existence. her overall experience thus far has been just a bit ... overwhelming, all blinding lights and bodies clambering over one another to snap shots of her. a nobody.

          it’s not that she’s easily cowed— she did eventually hit her stride about a quarter through filming, and their bold leader, director ackbar, had praised her for her instincts and her fearlessness to follow them— but to be fair, she is putting herself out there in a big way by being part of such a massive franchise as this; for god’s sake, han solo is posing on a stool not twenty feet from her, properly blue steeling the lenses in his face, and that’s not even the most insane bit: her and han, they’re genuine pals. well, she thinks, anyway. ( sometimes he fancies answering her in more than a mere monosyllabic grunt, but she’ll take it. ) it doesn’t help that hollywood greats like leia organa and her brother, luke, are likely in the next room, their larger-than-life presence most certainly felt— but what does help, rey realizes, is the presence directly next to her.

          fellow newcomer finn. rey turns a bright smile on him; of all her scenes in the film, the ones they share are her favorites. granted, the majority of her scenes are with him, but she doesn’t think that takes away from that fact, does it? days when they were called to set together remain as some of her best memories, maybe of her whole life thus far. he’s warm and charismatic, a natural leader, utterly talented— definitely hollywood’s next leading man and heartthrob— and she doesn’t even have to guess at whether they’re genuinely friends; they undoubtedly are. he understands each terrifyingly strange new step she takes, because he’s taking it, too ( far more effortlessly than her, she feels ). rey’s certain one of the sole reasons she survived the shoot is down to him and his unwavering support, his unwillingness to abandon her— which seems to transfer from set to the rest of the world. he’s solid in that way, steady. apart from frequently sharing the frame, she imagines the higher-ups must have seen this, the way his being just soothes her, how the press of his arm wordlessly talks her down from taking offense to an overtly sexist question, or otherwise responding tactlessly in general. for that, they’ve been paired up for this press tour more often than not.

          thank god. without him, she doesn’t know how she’d cope with this sudden skyrocket to overnight fame.

          the scream she lets out is blood-curdling.

          the stream of water stings her eyes as she blinks rapidly through it, before launching into action. “ get out! ” she shrieks at this illusion, even as she begins shoving her way out of her own shower, snatching up soap bottles to chuck at it. her reaction isn’t so much because of a violation to her modesty, but rather born from the fact that this ... face that’s just rippled into existence beside her belongs to him.

          to finn.

          and finn is— he’s dead.

          remaining droplets from the shower mix with fresh tears, her face crumpling at this painfully vivid reminder. her body is taut as she stands several paces away from it, unable to tear her eyes away from this torturous hallucination. “ you’re not real— you’re dead. he’s dead. get— go away, you’re not here. ” there’s a tremor in her voice even as she wills it to be strong and firm, her heart already aching so intensely at both the thought of staring at this vision any longer and losing sight of him all over again. the nightmares are more than enough, her arms reaching around the cold sheets every night— only to awaken and remember no one is there anymore, no one will ever be there again.

          her anger spikes at her traitorous mind’s insistence that these nightmares become waking ones.

       “ this was always ma’s favourite place, ” he says, words just loud enough to be heard over the wind. “ haven’t been up here in a couple years. never found a reason to. ” // @sunruined