There is purpose in the slow miracles

For that is where faith is required

In the moments, in the years

Of waiting

The phrase is “playing hard to get”

I tease and say that I’m hard to have

Jesus says He chases after me

With everything He has

I say I’m too much

Too hard to hold, too hard handle

Jesus says He counts the infinities

And my name is engraven on both of His hands

I chew my bottom lip as I glance at my reflection in the mirror.

The same familiar curves stare back at me as I turn this way and that.

I had a good body, one that was sturdy and strong.

It got the job done at the end of day, so I really didn't feel the need to complain.

But in these quiet moments with just me and my reflection, I can't help but wonder as I slowly run a hand over my arm.

Would there ever be a person drawn to me? To this lil ole body of mine?

Would there ever really be hands who yearned to trace this skin? Would one day someone find comfort in this softness even as limited that I felt that it was?

Maybe… even pleasure?

I let out a slow sigh and turn my head this way and that in the mirror before slowly coming to cup my own face.

I stick out my togue at my reflection and blow a raspberry.

Maybe not today, but…maybe…hopefully one day?

How could you possibly imagine the scope that is the depth of my feelings? Do you have any understanding of just how much I feel? How much I hold back on the daily?!

You have no comprehension of the desire burning within me to let loose like a rampaging blaze upon a barren landscape, ready to consume everything in its wake with nothing but flame and smoldering ash

I crave violence.

So please…

…please…

Let it be put to work

And at least be used in your behalf

~Po

Albert Einstein has a very interesting definition of insanity, and that being “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”