Epic Summer Update (Part 4)
Finally, the last post. I apologize for writing the Sussex equivalent of War and Peace, but I had a lot of stuff to cover, guys.
I covered the Vogue debacle in the last post, but #PlaneGate deserves itâs own post. It started with a couple of quotes from Harry about  âunconscious racism,â âtwo children,â and âevery footstep counts.â
The racism quotes annoyed people who remembered Harryâs âpakiâ and Nazi costume days.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2019/07/30/prince-harry-warns-dangers-unconscious-racism-candid-interview/amp/?__twitter_impression=true
https://twitter.com/phildampier/status/1156200926857846784?
But it was the environmental scolding that grabbed the spotlight. Particularly since Harry attended the now-infamous Google Camp that gave rise to PlaneGate.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7345369/Prince-Harry-stayed-gas-guzzling-super-yacht-Googles-green-summit.html
Then DM reminded everyone that Meghan had a trans-continental $500k baby shower by filing a FOIA request asking for documents regarding her US security. I find that absolutely hilarious. The DM filed a FOIA request, lolololololol.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7323039/Meghan-Markle-snuck-baby-shower-avoid-optics-attention-seeker.html
The documents reveal that she snuck out of her hotel to avoid giving the impression she was enjoying the media attention. She was concerned about the âopticsâ and wanted to âat least give the impression she was attempting to sneak out.â This is such a bizarre little window into Meghanâs mind. âAt least give the impressionâŠâ It reminds me of the pre-engagement articles where she leaked that Jason Knauf and ELF asked her to stop smiling during her pap pics because it made people think she was enjoying the attention.
The Sun then revealed Harryâs pedicure addiction.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9653074/prince-harry-meghan-markle-pedicures-massages/
Someone found a pic of Meghan âDidnât Know Much About the Royal Familyâ Markle posing with a Kate mag.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7357173/Meghan-Markle-poses-Kate-Middleton-magazine-cover-two-years-met-Prince-Harry.html
And, finally, and most importantly methinks, poll numbers came out with Meghan going down in popularity. She went down 6% as did Harry. The Queen is now the most popular royal with Harry dropping to second place. He only has a 1% lead over Will. Kate stayed the same.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7360691/Kate-Middleton-trumps-Meghan-Markle-YouGov-popularity-poll.html
#PlaneGate, however, did not go away. In fact, it intensified when the eco-warrior couple proceeded to travel to Spain in private planes. It was a birthday trip for Meghan, and came as surprise to everyone since the Sussexes had claimed that her birthday would be celebrated at home.
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/08/harry-meghan-private-jet-hypocritical
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9744378/meghan-markle-prince-harry-private-jet-french-riviera-ibiza/
https://observer.com/2019/08/prince-harry-meghan-markle-ibiza-secret-vacation-travel-archie-royal-family-trip/
They stayed at a neighborhood known as the billionaireâs playground.
https://metro.co.uk/2019/08/18/inside-billionaires-playground-ibiza-villa-stayed-harry-meghan-10590889/
I have to admit that I loved this trip, for all the wrong reasons. When Will and Kateâs vacation was announced Meghanâs fans started saying that Mustique had an unsavory reputation because of Margaretâs antics. I was very amused by the fact that the Sussexes ended in tacky âbillionaireâs playgroundâ Ibiza and Andrew quickly followed them.
Mind you, at this point there was random bitching over the jets, but it wasnât over-the-top. Harryâs âevery footstepâ post got some heat, but the outrage didnât go nuclear until they took another trip to Elton Johnâs villa in Nice. Thatâs when, as they say, the doo-doo really hit the fan.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7367785/Duke-Duchess-Sussex-SECOND-private-plane-two-days-just-48-hours-Ibiza-holiday.html
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7369395/Pictured-Moment-Harry-Meghan-took-private-jet-flight-South-France.html
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9744378/meghan-markle-prince-harry-private-jet-french-riviera-ibiza/
That made it SIX private plane trips in only 11 days and it was just too much. The total carbon usage for the trips was six times that of the yearly consumption of the average Briton.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-49408915
The DM posted pics of the jet.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7383097/Inside-Prince-Harry-Meghan-Markles-private-jet.html
Elton John quickly came out and defended the Sussexes, claiming he had paid for the trip and the offsets. He also brandished the Diana card on behalf of the Sussexes. This, imo, only added fuel to the fire.
https://twitter.com/eltonofficial/status/1163479330632142848
Scobie followed suit claiming the Ibiza trip was also carbon neutral because they used Net Jets.
https://twitter.com/scobie/status/1163487688827330561
I donât think Scobie realized that this made things even worse because Net Jets is not, as described in some outlets, âUber for planes.â Net Jets is a fractional ownership service. If they are Net Jets members that means that they âownâ an interest in a jet fleet and use private jets, well, a lot. They donât just have their own subscription, but they also use jets of friends like Elton and the Clooneys. Thatâs a lot of jet hopping.
https://stories.forbestravelguide.com/how-to-fly-private-jets-with-netjets
Which explains why Meghan went all out asking her celeb friends for help. She REALLY likes the jets and sheâs not giving them up without a fight.
Ellen, Pink, Jameella Jamil, Jessica Mulroney, Nacho Figueras and a host of other celebrites followed suit, all following the same âracist bullyingâ script. Clearly, Megs sent a mass email and told everyone what to say. It was KP statement 2.0, with the same âcharacter assassinationâ wording and everything. The celebs were rallied in her defense in the same way that the royals were rallied to her defense in 2016.
I know I may be reaching too much, but the parallels to the big events in her royal rollout are amazing, The royal engagement ring was Hollywoodized, she did a âFab Fourâ-like event with Bey and Jay-Z, Â and she had a celeb version of the KP statement. Instead of a royal rollout, she had a celebrity roll-out. She even wore jeans to Wimbledon, just like she wore jeans to that first Invictus Game with Harry. LOL, remember how she sat with the plebs back then and hugged the kids and gave them presents? Meggy doesnât do that anymore.
BTW, Jessica was conspicuously quiet when her network made comments about George. Everyone is showing their true colors now.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a28751429/celebrities-defend-prince-harry-meghan-markle-attacks/
I think itâs interesting that back in July, Andrew Morton came out saying that Meghan was cultivating celebrity friends so she could use them as âmouthpieces.â That definitely seems to be the case. I wonder how he found this out. LA rumors.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7367785/Duke-Duchess-Sussex-SECOND-private-plane-two-days-just-48-hours-Ibiza-holiday.html
So when Beyonce and Jay-Z did their awards speech in front of Meghanâs portrait was that the quid pro quo for the Lion King premiere? Theyâll do an event or post on IG, but only if the celeb promises to defend them in public and follow a script? And the celeb then has to organize and fund vacations and baby showers for the Sussexes? That seems to be whatâs happening.
The celebrity Greek chorus did not work, however, and even the lefty Guardian cautioned the Sussexes that carbon offsets are not all that and they should make better choices.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/shortcuts/2019/aug/20/why-carbon-offsetting-is-not-the-panacea-harry-and-meghan-might-think-it-is
They seem to be right. Carbon offsets may actually cause more damage, which is truly depressing.
https://features.propublica.org/brazil-carbon-offsets/inconvenient-truth-carbon-credits-dont-work-deforestation-redd-acre-cambodia/
The Independent followed suit wondering, ever so gently, if the woke duke and duchess were all bark and no bite with regards to the environment.
https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/prince-harry-meghan-markle-flying-climate-change-carbon-offsetting-elton-john-a9072006.html
Although some of their columnists were not so polite. This article waves away the celebrity outrage and doubles down on the hypocrisy charges, flatly concluding that âif they were passionate about the environment, they would cut down on their flight time.â
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/prince-harry-meghan-markle-private-jet-climate-change-elton-john-ellen-a9071366.html
Then bloody Greenpeace chimed in, firmly saying that carbon offsetting wasnât enough.
https://metro.co.uk/2019/08/20/elton-john-carbon-offsetting-meghan-harrys-flight-no-solution-greenpeace-says-10602300/
If your âracist bullyingâ claims are too stupid to convince rabid race cheerleaders like the Guardian and the Independent, thatâs it. Gameâs over. Best call it a day because you are toast, baby.
Oh, we were also informed that the Sussexes asked for living quarters in Windsor Castle. There were tons of rumors that this was the case around the time of the engagement and now they have been confirmed. No one was shocked about this, but I do confess some residual surprised at the fact that this woman arrived in a flurry of controversy and immediately started demanding huge tiaras and castles. She really is something special, isnât she?
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/802d7934-c12a-11e9-9c7a-44d1639b233d?
The last gasp of Sussex support came in the form of fake outrage over the supposed lack of Andrew/Epstein coverage.
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/08/why-cant-prince-andrew-get-the-same-tabloid-scrutiny-meghan-markle-does
I have no clue where those fans and reporters live because I barely pay attention to Andrew (because eew) and I still know that  he rode in the Queenâs car after Epsteinâs suicide, the DM published pics of him in Epsteinâs mansion, he left Balmoral in disgrace with Fergie and ended up in not-at-all-unsavory Ibiza, he issued a ridiculous statement condemning Epstein, he is rekindling his romance with Fergie, and he was seen getting a foot massage at Epsteinâs mansion. I donât know how Andrewâs antics could possibly get more coverage. Oh, wait. I know. If Elton John came out defending Andrewâs pedo foot massage that would definitely get PA more coverage, and if Pink and Ellen followed suit that would make an even bigger splash. There you go, Megs. You want more Andrew coverage? Send an email to your friends and voila. If you get Oprah to stand up for pedo foot massages (hey, she defended Michael Jackson), everyone will instantly forget about your private plane.
I really  feel for that Blind Gossip source who ranted about the âself-inflictedâ pr wounds. These two are too stupid to recognize that they are causing most of the damage.
Even Omid was having trouble defending the plane in his Royal Box sugar fest.
https://keepingupwiththebananadramas.tumblr.com/post/187210394367/talkingtarot-the-best-soap-opera-ever-this#notes?
The Cambridges were then hilariously spotted taking a cheapo mass flight to Balmoral. LOLOLOLOLOL.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7383133/Prince-William-wife-Kate-Middleton-children-seen-boarding-budget-flight-Scotland.html
https://www.thedailybeast.com/prince-william-and-kate-middleton-show-meghan-markle-and-prince-harry-the-right-way-to-fly
Meghanâs fans are saying that this was Will throwing his brother under the bus, and I really wish they were the case because I need more Cambridge bitchiness in my life. Alas, it seems the arrangement were made months ago and the choice of airline is simply because Will is a cheapskate with a ânormalityâ fetish and he takes budget airlines every chance he can.
https://twitter.com/chrisshipitv/status/1164580797854158848
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/why-does-prince-william-love-174901761.html
Hereâs a cute story about Will and his friends eating nachos during an OâHare layover.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2014-05-02-chi-prince-william-and-friends-munched-on-nachos-during-ohare-layover-20140502-story.html
And this article has a hilarious clip where Melanie Bromley jokingly asks âcouldnât they just this once take a private plane so Meghan and Harry donât look so bad?â
https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1169270/Kate-Middleton-news-Meghan-Markle-Prince-Harry-William-plane-travel-Royal-Family-latest
The Sussexes arenât going to Balmoral in August. Itâs just the Cambridges with the rest of the family. Gee, I wonder what the dinner conversation topic will be?
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/9777394/kate-middleton-prince-william-flybe-balmoral-prince-harry-meghan-markle/
They are supposedly going in September. Weâll see about that. This may end up as a âletâs donât and say we didâ occasion.
The Cambridges were spotted with the Queen at Balmoral.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7388123/Prince-William-Kate-Middleton-royals-join-Queen-Balmoral.html
And the Royal Foundation was officially split. Good freaking riddance.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1168892/meghan-markle-prince-harry-kate-middleton-prince-william-royal-rift-the-royal-foundation
It  turns out the Sussexes are âshunningâ all royal advisors and relying on Meghanâs yoga teacher mum. That would explain a lot.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7367657/TALK-TOWN-Doria-REAL-power-Meghans-throne.html
Which is surely welcome news to the new âhistoricâ all-femaleâ staff they hired for the new Foundation. I bet those new high-flying ad execs and ambassadors they hired are looking forward to taking orders from yoga teacher mum.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2019/08/22/duke-duchess-sussex-appoint-media-executive-named-influential/
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a28763383/prince-harry-meghan-markle-royal-household/
In typical Sussex fashion the foundation rollout is a mess with people switching jobs back and forth. Iâm going to wait until the dust settles to figure out whatâs going on in there. Iâm not going to bother learning any names as I expect several âpersonal reasons that have nothing to do with the Sussexesâ and âshe loved her time with Sussex Royal and just wanted to spend more quality time with her cactiâ exits by Christmas.
https://twitter.com/byEmilyAndrews/status/1164601446047899648
But they need to get that stuff figured out because Harry and Meghan now hope to ride out the #PlaneGate storm by focusing on work. Harry has rugby and, since the celebrity intervention was a complete disaster, Meghan decided to pivot back to her charity work, posting some sad sack cupcake messages on IG and adding some excrutiatingly forced word salad about the psychological benefits of baking. Bananagram 2.0 AND Crap Vogue Essay 2.0 because these two never, ever learn.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1d4fMTlsX-/
The post got such a negative response, they had to turn comments off. You can still comment on the previous post, which included a Desmond Tutu quote about doing âa little bit of goodâ that mirrored Harryâs much-criticized âevery footprintâ comments. These two truly do not realize the mess they are in. (Update: comments on the cupcake post are back on)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1WbUdPl3B4/
https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1169234/meghan-markle-prince-harry-private-jet-sussex-royal-instagram
She also posted a âsneak peekâ at her charity capsule collection. The clip was a series of videos of Meghan posing and fake-laughing and it didnât really show any clothes, but I think I saw the back of a trademark black bathrobe, so I canât wait for this new trainwreck to hit. Given her horrid judgment during her Vogue engagement I expect the âoffice wearâ collection to feature skin-tight pleather pants and âTouch My Butt and Feed Me Pizzaâ t-shirts.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a28775569/meghan-markle-smart-works-collection-video/
The message from the Sussexes is that Meghan is âunfazedâ by the controversy (Lol, thatâs right. She sent out a mass email to her celeb friends asking for public statements of support because she was so completely unbothered by the coverage. Riiiiiiiiiiight). She is âmoving on and riding above the stormâ because she is sure it will all âblow over.â
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/08/meghan-markle-smartworks-instagram-story-private-jet
And she âcouldnât look happier.â LOLOLOLOL.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a28775569/meghan-markle-smart-works-collection-video/
I guess she hadnât read the BS Weekly feature on how âdiscouragedâ she is  because expect her to meet the âvery high standardsâ set by Kate. LOLOLOL.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a28791395/meghan-markle-discouraged-high-standard-kate-middleton/
Or the Cindy Adams column claiming that the brf is desperately trying to ship her to Africa.
https://pagesix.com/2019/08/21/prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-may-relocate-to-africa/
Or the Celebitchy post that let it slip that they are hearing divorce rumors.
https://www.celebitchy.com/632117/the_sussexes_might_get_shipped_to_africa_as_their_semi-permanent_home/
Iâve been predicting a 2020 divorce pretty much since the engagement, but this is the first time Iâve seen even a hint of it in the gossip sphere. So far it has appeared twice, in Blind Gossip and now in Celebitchy.
And Meghanâs blockheaded obliviousness could not be more obvious.  Everyone sees a problem except the Sussexes. They are acting like the fashion capsule is âwhat  mattersâ as if it were the charity initiative to end all charity initiatives instead of a unnecessarily convoluted way to donate office clothes whose main aim is to give Meghan her Reitmanâs fashion collection back.
https://twitter.com/scobie/status/1164515549013053440
Girl, itâs not going to blow over. This mess even hit my work twitter, with non-royal watchers comparing the carbon offsets to Papal indulgences.
Being recognized as a hypocrite is deadly for a public figure. Meghan bluffed her way into this position because she had some fantastic pr tying her childhood school project to her feminist celebrity fauxtivism. Likewise, Harryâs âhero princeâ pr, Â war service, and veteran charity work earned him enormous goodwill. Â All of that pr work is now circling the drain because their newly-found passion for environmental causes appears woefully insincere and this brings all their prior commitments into question. You can be a feminist or a champion of war veterans and use private jets willy nilly. You can be an animal conservation activist and rely on iffy carbon offsets. However, like the Independent columnist said, you canât be passionate about environment damage and go circling the world in private jets. Â You canât believe that every act counts no matter how small, and then handwave your carbon footprint away.
Itâs not just the jets though. Itâs the spending, dodging royal responsibilities in the name of privacy, embracing celeb events, transparent vanity projects etc⊠It all adds up and itâs particularly damaging for the Sussexes because this is what everyone suspected was going to happen when Harryâs Hollywood girlfriend timed her relationship leak to gain publicity for her Reitmanâs capsule collection. The brf put out insane amounts of pr trying to convince people that these two wouldnât go Hollywood and it worked for a while, but Harry and Meghan have now thrown it all out. Itâs becoming more and more clear that these two care more about fame than about charity or the monarchy and that their âphilanthropyâ is not so much a vocation as a convenient source of celebrity connections, taxpayer moneys, freebies, and vanity projects like safaris, documentaries, cookbooks, magazine editing gigs, and fashion collections.
The brf is now divided into good royals like the Queen, PC and Will and Kate, and âunfotunateâ royals like Andrew, Fergie, Zara (because of the Chinese tycoon shenanigans). Harry and Meghan as firmly in the âunfortunate royalsâ camp.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7388123/Prince-William-Kate-Middleton-royals-join-Queen-Balmoral.html
And Meghan must know she has a problem because she is playing the ultimate Diana card. The is making an âemotional pilgrimageâ to Dianaâs grave at Althorp with Archie this month. This my friends, is Diana carding of epic proportions.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7388591/EDEN-CONFIDENTIAL-Meghan-make-emotional-pilgrimage-Princess-Dianas-burial-place.html
The cynicism is beyond belief, but, hey, they have good reason for it. Things have âblown overâ before and the Di card, which theyâve wielded freely since the 2016 KP statement has worked beautifully for them. Â I can see why they feel so certain it will work again.
I just donât think it will. Harry had enormous goodwill, but theyâve exhausted it all. The brf has a huge halo effect but Meghan is more a celebrity now than a royal and Elton John and Jameela Jamil simply donât have that kind of pull. The brf could pull another stunt to save their butts like they did when Chuck walked her down the aisle and the Cambridges took her under their wing and Iâm sure Harry is throwing epic tantrums trying to get something, but the grown-ups donât seem to be in that kind of mood. I donât think itâs going to blow over this time.














