#sully writes

But maybe I don’t mind the taste of beer

As long as it’s on your lips.

I’ve always been a independent man

But when my shivering hands couldn’t light my cigarette

I didn’t mind letting you help as you mumbled

“Pretty boys shouldn’t light their own cigarettes.”

I’m not going to get attached

For you’re one of those wondering souls

And I’m tethered to all that I know at home

I’ve never slow danced

I’ve never received flowers

I’ve never gone out for a nice dinner

But you and me?

We threaten to fight each other

As a way of flirting,

I’ll make you patches

You bring me bones

I’ll show you how to skank

If you dye my hair

I’ll pierce your eyebrow

If you give me a stick and poke

I’ll stud your jacket

If you give me a kiss.

I’ll show you my city

Just for the chance to hold your hand

Before We tussle

I’d couch surf the country with you

Even if we never:

Give each other store bought flowers,

Slow dance,

Or eat something other than fast food together,

I’m just happy I’ve found someone

I can mosh to my own beat with

So sit with me in the rain

So share my last cigarette with me

If you loved me

Why were my boundaries so easy to ignore

If you loved me

Why was it so easy to hurt me

Simple

You never actually loved me

You simply wanted to be me

You took everything that was once mine

The second I set it down for a moment

You placed you hands

All over my life

Ignoring the

“Do not touch, only look”

Signs

Simply for your own gain

I wasn’t a person to you

I was an idea

A desire

A longing

Because I know who I am

Unlike you.

Do me a favor

Grow up,

Find yourself

And stop desperately trying

To be a man you’ll never

I hate the taste

Yet on lonely nights

Upon my stoop I sit

Ruining my lungs

One drag at a time

Watching the embers fall

As I tap to ash

I hate the taste

My lovers aren’t fond of it either

But I ruin myself

Running on an empty heart

Do I do this to relax

Or am I driving myself to an early grave

I hate the taste

But I didn’t think I’d be here still

As the world rolls by

I’m stuck in stone

Unable to take a step

Because I’m so scared

That every move I make is wrong

I’m happier than ever

Of course I am

It’s gotten better

Since the pale hands of mine

Carved words into tender flesh

But I thought I’d bring my story to an end

While I hate the taste

At least it gives me something to do

On nights where my brain

Won’t bother to stand still

I’m so loved

I love so many

But when it comes to

The man in the mirror

I’d rather see him

And all his failures

I truly wish I could stop

Just stop loving you

But all I want is for you to be okay

Despite the way you’ve made me hurt

Despite the way you tore through my heart

Despite the fact that you haunt my dreams

Despite the tears I’ve sobbed for you

I am still madly in love with you

Always and forever

Like every time I promised

I know from here on out it’ll always be you

Just you and you alone

In the back of my mind

In the core of my heart

This is slowly killing me

Yet it’s the sweetest death I’ll ever know

But honestly

I wish I could stop

They pulled me close

My eyes toward the ceiling

Redirected towards them

As they murmured

Every way

These years?

Then god must be quaking

I don’t know how much worse it can get before I fucking snap

Keep trying me

Keep pushing me

I can only take so much

And I’ve bitten my tongue for two decades

The taste of blood is a comfort now

So don’t tell me these years are supposed to be my glory years

A crumbling statue

Frankensteins creation

A mosaic

A ransom note

A pair of patch pants

A poorly sewn quilt

An uncomfortable silence

A city in ruins

A depression room

A sketch book full of unfinished artwork

A song that will never be finished

An oddly quiet night