#suicidesurvival

This is what numb looks like.

Unknown

Tonight I get to do something really special, and bring my storytelling show about #fatherhood, #mentalhealth and #survival to @giantdwarfhq. So many people I admire have performed here, and it's going to be a surreal and special thing to get on stage myself. So grateful for this life I have 👍🏻💪🏻😊 . Tickets still available online, use the code TEN for $10 tickets, or $18 at the door. #sydneyfringe #storytelling #fatherhood #mentalhealth #suicidesurvival #dadlife #pukaup #IAMENOUGH (at Giant Dwarf)

She walked in the hospital to shoot herself in the bathroom. It was better that way, for her family. When she awoke she was surrounded by the people she hoped to spare. The bullet went in and through and her life of purpose was reset.

They sit there Just out of sight Patiently waiting For just the right moment Just the right provocation To make their presence known And then they appear Sometimes just peeking And you have to really be looking to see them Sometimes they creep out, moving slowly And no one notices them right away Sometimes they make a grand entrance And take everyone by surprise But their purpose is always the same To cleanse the psyche Of one who is troubled To help them release The anxiety they've been holding inside They are not a sign of weakness But a sign of strength So Release them Set them free And in return They shall free your mind Of things you've been holding on to for too long Things you've been holding on to too tightly What are they Tears ~ReGina G Styl Crawford

My neck, shoulders and mouth hurt. I know it's a result of trying to hold on to my sanity by attempting to control my emotions. Holding back tears by holding my breath and clinching my teeth are doing me in! And this is how depression and anxiety lead to physical symptoms. I'm so tired of talking about my current situation without having a solution for my problems. I just want some relief from my mental and physical anguish at this point. It's affecting my appetite, my sleep, and my ability to connect with people. I'm having to force myself to attended social events and stay connected instead of holing up in my room being a recluse. I just want my life back! Thanks for tuning in while I Talk Out Loud! Take What You Want, Leave What You Need to Survive!

Talking Out Loud is still hard! I thought after all this time (these past 6 months) that sharing my struggle with people would get easier! Well it hasn't! The tears don't fall as easily as they once did, but I still feel them at the edge of my eye lids. And I was talking via text message! Wasn't even looking them in the face! Why the confession? So that those of you who don't/won't Talk Out Loud will know that those of us who do don't find it easy to do. We do it because it must be done if we are going to Erase The Stigma associated with depression and mental illness. There are too many of us suffering in silence and not getting the help/support we need to recover from a bout of depression and learn to survive in mind we live in. Despite what public persona portrays, I struggle daily with my depression and anxiety but I have garnered a great support system as a result of talking out loud to those around me and to the public at large. So yes, even though it may be hard, I'm encouraging you to Talk Out Loud! You will be amazed at the support system you will build as a result. For sometimes you can't take care of you and you need someone in your corner who will step up and take care of you! With no disdain! And complete empathy for you during your time of need. As always, thanks for tuning in while I Talk Out Loud! Take What You Want, Leave What You Need to Survive!