#suddenly-the-consequences

it’s okay! :D thank you!

<33 I wish that I could give you the word survivor to highlight all the things you HAVE survived, (even with the knowledge there will always be people out there who have survived worse). I'm sorry this week is so awful and that people are often so awful, but bourbon and I are here anytime overusing the word "fuck" can make things suck a little less.

You and bourbon are the best and there is very little that can’t be made more palatable by overuse of the word ‘fuck’. These are just the facts. ♥

getawaymachine replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

<3333 ::hugs::

*smish*

suddenly-the-consequences replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

Can relate to a lot of this so much it hurts (and isn't it ridiculous how it is somehow felt more keenly when it is someone elses fear & hurt and not your own, as though there is a monopoly on pain) and hope that asshole fucks off & you can manage to be kind to yourself today, at least for a little bit. Cause you do deserve kindness and love, even if it doesn't feel that way.

It is ridiculous. And it’s always the way. Any time I talk about anything tough and someone says ‘I know how this feels’ or ‘oh me too’ my heart breaks a little. I don’t want other people to feel this way. I want other people to be happy and safe and never able to understand this, but you do, so all we can do is stand together. I’ll be here for you and all these things we share and also the other, good things we might not. Deal? Deal. ♥

brilligspoons replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

<3333333333

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

cleopatriia replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

thank you for sharing, honestly. there is some of this that I relate to and it's super shitty and i'm so sorry you'e had to experience this. fuck that guy honestly and I hope you don't have to ever encounter him again.

Babe, ♥♥. I also hope I never encounter him again. HE’S gonna hope I never encounter him again, because I am 100% determined to take a picture of him, even if I can’t do anything but tweet out an alert to the greater Boston area about him. But also I kind of want to call the cops with it and see if he has a record I should be legit afraid of. I don’t even know if they could tell me that information, but I feel like SOMEONE should know this guy is out there serial harassing women and that it might escalate. 

thecosmonaut replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

This hit really close to home, and I am so deeply sorry that you have to deal with this. I didn't even know about the original post but I would have been just as afraid, just as shaken. Thank you writing this down. Thank you for using your unique voice to bring to light just how deeply the mind can feel it deserves to suffer when that's all it's ever known, and how that can shape your entire life.

Minds, right? Has this shaped my entire life? Yeah, I guess it has, though thinking about it that way is overwhelming. 

I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to doubt my friendships and relationships. Many of my local friends literally asked me to move here. They tell me all the time that they’re glad I’m here. And still in my head I have to expend a lot of effort to not fall into the familiar mindset of thinking that it’s all a joke or a long con, that I’m going to get the better of me and eventually they’ll realize I’m not worth knowing or too annoying to hang out with or too needy to be friends, that I don’t give anything back to them, that I’m selfish and mean and they’ll be better off without me. And some of these things are the product of many years of conditioning by many different people, and some of them are just the plain old self doubts and low self-esteem that have always been there, that gave those other people the in to begin with. 

What did that post say the other day? I am, as the poets say, a mess. But I’m a public mess. A mess who wants to fix myself and who will just yammer on about all of this so other people know they’re not alone and so I know I’m not alone. You and me, we can get through this. We can be radder than ever. Just, deep breaths until then, I guess. 

zeegoesthere replied to your post “Hey, you remember this asshole from the train three and a half months...”

I hadn't ever seen the original post about that asshole and I'm so fucking livid on your behalf. Also livid at your rapist and your father and all men really, of course. I don't know what to say other than that I'm furious for you right now, but. I'm here and I find your thoughts and tour voice incredibly valuable and you do not deserve to be afraid.

You are definitely one of the people I think about whenever I see those text posts about mutuals you don’t talk to but really should, because you’ve been here forever and you’re just a mainstay at this point. If we happen to be on at different times and I don’t see your posts for a few days I always go to your blog and check you’re still about. Would it be easier to just TALK TO PEOPLE? Probably, but see previous post about the hard way. Whatever, I’m rambling, I like that you’re still here. I like seeing you on my dash. Thank you for putting up with this nonsense for this long. ♥

Also, I have bad news about the hurt and how that’s not going to go away. Sorry not sorry! Welcome to hell! It is at least a beautiful hell.