#suckythings

sometimes it's hard to fully let it go; mine very nearly drove me to my own end, but I beat it in the end. It's what helped form the person I'm today and I got what I wished for I'm my younger days - I just had no clue what piece I'd have to pay just to get it - and it's the source of my pessimism today. Too much awareness like what I have just robs you of deep felt joy if you don't stay on your toes. It's the double edge of it. Ignorance is bliss as it's said.

A really shitty thing is when you're told you're pretty and people are like 'why haven't you got a boyfriend?' And that makes you feel really sucky because you start to wonder what's wrong with you even though you allegedly are the person people want to be or be with Or when people compliment you and it boosts your confidence because you had low self esteem anyway, then you are told you think to highly of yourself or you think that you're perfect Like no...I know I have flaws but I don't know why I don't have a boyfriend because apparently 'there's someone for everyone out there' my time has just not come yet...aaannnddd when I'm not happy with myself I'm told to be confident but once I am confident I'm in the wrong for thinking positively about myself and trying to be happy Fuck