#styles au

I hear his laugh resonating through the room and immediately, without a second thought, my eyes try to locate him. It’s been a while, a few months, since we had last seen or spoken one another. Another man’s arm is draped over my waist as he guides me through the mass of people. We’ve been together for a few weeks, but it never had felt the same as if it were Harry. They always warned me you would never forget your first love.

I think I’m staying in this dreading relationship out of comfort. I don’t like being alone and when I’m occupied, my mind can’t wander towards the thing I desired most. I know he would be here tonight, I just hoped, with all my heart, that I could avoid him.

“Y/n!” My name sounds out of a familiar mouth and I relocate my gaze – away from searching Harry – to the man in front of me. “Oh! Niall. Hi love. How are you?” I’m glad to see a familiar face that I actually like – more like adore – and casually throw my arms around his neck for a friendly hug.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you! What have you been up to?” Niall smiles but I notice his gaze flicker to the male beside me and I can see the small hint of disappointment. He’s not alone.

“Nothing much. Trying to pick up life again.” I shrug my shoulders as I step away from my date for the evening and take a step towards Niall. I turn us so I have a clear view of the remainder of the room as Niall merely stares at me.

“You should talk to him babe. I’m sure he’d like that. He’s here, you know?” Niall, on cue, turns around to try and locate one of his former-bandmembers but he sighs when he can’t spot Harry in this instant. “I have noticed already, yes.” I reciprocate, my own gaze floating over the many heads present tonight to hope and see that brown mop of hair I loved threading my fingers through.

“Between you and I,” he starts and leans in at the same time, his lips lightly brushing my ear, “I’m sure you could fix this.” Niall keeps hovering there, awaiting my response and I can’t help to let my eyes flicker. If he saw, Niall would have a black eye. When I see he is preoccupied with some of his mates, I refocus back on the void in front of me.

“Promises are broken like a stitch is. Something Harry once told me.” I whisper in return, blinking slowly when I see his frame appear behind Niall’s, in the distance. He motions to a secluded place in the back of room and I can already feel my cheeks heating when I think back about all the things we’d sneakily do during these parties.

“I’m sorry Niall, I have something I need to do.” I squeeze his biceps as I grant him a bright, genuine smile before turning to my date for the evening. I tap him on the shoulder and hurriedly mumble that I need to freshen up and bolt away.

Harry has already disappeared behind the curtain and when I slip through also, I see there’s a small, secluded hallway. “Are we allowed here?” “Probably not. But that means we can’t be disturbed. Y/n, I need to talk to you.” Harry steps closer, causing me to take a step back.

“Haven’t you already said everything that had to be said?” I remember every word that slipped past his lips the night he told me this, we, wouldn’t work out. They resonate through my mind over and over again. “I know I’m selfish. But I don’t ever want to see you with him.” Harry takes another step, and this time I don’t back down.

“Harry, I – you were the one that ended this. I can’t keep locking myself up forever. Do you expect me to reserve myself for you when you decide you’ve made the wrong decision?” I throw my hands up in exasperation, shaking my head. He can’t expect me to be okay with this. I haven’t heard from him, I’ve decided it was time to move on – if you can call it that – and there he is.

“I’ve thought about this for a long time, Y/n. And I’m sure of it. He’s right where I should be.” Harry casts his eyes towards the floor, his hands jammed in his pockets. He seems defeated, empty almost, and I want to reach out and hug him close to my chest. Even though I desperate want so, I need to hang onto that thread of self-worth I still possess for the time being.

“Isn’t that something you could’ve figured out months ago? You have absolutely no idea what I have been through.” My voice cracks in the middle of my sentence and I sniff loudly. I’m blinking feverishly to keep possible tears at bay as I turn a quarter, away from Harry’s penetrating gaze.

“Apologies are never going to fix this, right?” Harry steps closer and closer until he has cornered me against the wall. I feel my resentment toward him crumbling and I can’t help but reach out for him, to lay my hand on his chest. His heart beats rapidly underneath his clothing, causing me to press my hand even harder against his chest. I take a few moments to recollect my thoughts. Him saying these words to me is everything I’ve lulled myself to sleep with.

“I – I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about you but that doesn’t mean it’s all good thoughts either.” As I speak the words to keep him at bay, my fingers have curled around his blazer and I’m pulling him closer and closer until our chests are touching.

“Don’t tempt me, Y/n.” It may not be a good idea, but I have made my decision.

“I’m not tempting you, I’m inviting you.” With my last words spoken, I close the small gap between us and press my lips upon his. His arms immediately encircle my waist and my hands cup his neck as I let his kiss guide me home. “Please give me another chance, Y/n.” Harry mumbles against my lips as his hand slowly inches down and he cups my bum, forcing me to lift my leg up and hitch it around his hips.

I don’t say anything, instead I try to kiss him again. He lets me, but only for a short while before he breaks our lips apart again. “One date. Please.” “One date.” I mumble in return, very well knowing that I’m back in as deep as I were the first time Harry had requested one date. His fingers circle around my wrist and he pulls me out of the door, away from the party.

“Harry I – I came here with someone.” I stop him in his tracks, guilt taking over my body as I think about how I am what I never wanted to become. Harry’s smile fades in a split second before he averts his gaze from mine. “Were you serious?”

Non smut, sorry lads. Based on the song sex by EDEN.

It was a bit dark outside, it was a bit lighted inside. His eyes were looking at you while yours were looking at the ceiling, the two of you lying on his bed. He was going a little crazy, asking himself what were you thinking, asking himself if he had done something wrong. Oh, how pretty you looked to him in that moment. How good you looked in his bed, lying next to him, but how nervous he looked trying to answer the questions in his mind.

“Wha’ ‘r yeh..?” he started but you abruptly interrupted him, the words came out like a hurricane to a wood house.

“This has to end, Harry” you said, talking slowly, almost not wanting to say it. Your eyes moved from looking up to look to his but he were looking at his hands now. He sat on the bed and frowned. “We can’t keep doing this” your voice sounded heavy, and then there were silence. His hair fell on his face and his shoulders droped. “we’re just having sex, Harry” you said, every word hurting you.

He felt something inside of him, like he was out of breath, his eyes went darker and his hands became fists, then he took a large breath before talking back.

We did have a game plan tonight. With all of us being single and enjoying life, the usual goal wa to find a girl we liked to perhaps take with us. I hadn’t participated in such activities in a long time, and this time I wasn’t going to get out of it either. With a few empty and full beers scattering our table, all the guys are looking around to spot that one girl tonight. It’s when the door opens and the wind howls, I see her. She slowly walks over to the bar and almost as soon as she sits down, Rob offers her a glass of whiskey. All I can see is her silhouette from my position, and I want to see more of her.

I don’t give it a second thought either when I raise to my feet, ignoring protests – or hollering – from my mates and directly walk up towards the woman at the bar. I think she saw me coming because as soon as I am in close proximity, her head turns and her eyebrows raise as she watches me approach ever so slowly.

Instead of going directly toward her, I turn to the bartender and order myself a shot. I down it rather quickly before averting my gaze and attention to the mysterious woman beside me. “Hello.” She snorts, holding her hand in front of her mouth before she gazes up at me incredulously.

“Hello? Is that all you’re trying to go with? No stupid pick up line?” She seems amused, something I find to be in my advantage. I lean against the bar top and shoot her a bright grin before I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. I see her gaze flicker from my eyes to my lips. I can’t help the smirk that slowly crawls onto my features. I watch her wet her lips before she turns back towards the bar top, her legs tucked underneath.

“Do you think I need one then?” I decide to question, tapping my fingertips on the counter top as I await her response. She seems to need a few moments to come up with a proper answer, and when she turns back into my direction the sly grin makes my heart palpitate.

“Well, I’m not quite sure why you would assume you’re any different from any other male that has addressed me tonight – but you seem confident. Let’s hear it.” She smirks, slowly twirling her glass of whiskey in her hand before talking a dragged out sip.

“I’m not planning on sweeping you off your feet love. But a conversation might be educational. I’m Harry.” I hold out my hand for her to take, but she scoffs almost immediately. “As if I don’t know who you are. I didn’t spend the last seven years under a rock, Mr. Styles.” Her eyebrow is cocked and I’m taken aback just the slightest bit. Normally girls would already be swooning – at the least – when I approached them. I retaliate.

“Well, that doesn’t take back that a man should introduce himself when meeting a lovely lady miss…” I trail off, hoping I’d get her name out of her. I’m not one to just assume people know who I am – some people aren’t for all that gossip and other found in the magazines. I’m glad she’s one of those.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” She smiles briefly, bringing her glass of hard liquor to her lips again. Her smile is soft, almost velvet-like and there is a shyness about her when she turns away, as if I had caught her off guard. She recollects herself in a split second none the less.

“Quite the charmer, aren’t you?” She chuckles as she taps another cigarette from her pack lying on the bar. Without another word, she lights it and blows the vapour over my head. “I’ve been told that a few times yeah.” I smile back, leaning against the bar as I let my eyes glide over her figure. Her black dress hugs her curves in all the right places.

“Do you think it’s a good trait?” She questions me again, tapping the excess of cigarette ashes into the tray in front of her. I have never met anyone like her and I think I’m into it. “I presume not. A lot of females already believe that I’m just here for a hook up and you lose a lot of your credibility.”

“Aren’t you?” I blink a few times and it takes me just a little too long to realise she was speaking about a one night stand. I guess when I first arrived at the bar, that was my initial goal. But as for now, I’d rather talk to her and find out more about her, what thrives her, what she lives for. If that meant not hooking up tonight, I wouldn’t lose a blink of sleep.

“I was intrigued.” I immediately decide to be honest and I feel a sense of pride toward myself when I see the small smile creep onto her lips and she shies her gaze away from mine.

“That’s very flattering, Mr. Styles.” Y/n motions to the bartender for a refill, before turning towards me. “Would you like anything?” “I’ll have what she is having.” I nod towards Rob, the bartender, and refocus my attention on the beautiful woman beside me.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, Y/N.” I take my own drink between my fingers and slowly bring it toward my lips, my gaze never leaving hers. Y/n isn’t any bit reluctant to keep my gaze as well, the smirk on her lips growing with every passing second.

“That might be possible, seeing as how I only arrived in London little over a week ago.” She states, averting her gaze as I see her pull her lip between her teeth. She might act shy, but her eyes scream a whole different story. Maybe I’m just losing it.

“Where are you from?” I need to know more, and if she’ll let me I’ll spend the rest of my evening asking her question after question. I want to know everything about her. I swallow loudly, the tip of my tongue darting out to wet my lips. It’s then when I notice she has been staring at my lips.

“I’ve resided all around the world. But as of now, I moved from New York. It’s a lovely change of scenery.” Her gaze darts from my lips to my eyes and if I’m not mistaken, I can see the blush crawl onto her cheeks. I don’t really know what to answer without being intrusive, so it takes me a while to come up with a proper response.

“And what do you search, all around the world?” I think it’s the best I can do on such short notice and when I see her grimace I know it wasn’t maybe as great as I thought it would be. She answers without hesitation though.

“Peace of mind.” The small smile brings one to my own features and she seems to shake out of it as she takes another sip from her whiskey. “So, does randomly walk up to women get you laid often?”

“I don’t think you want an honest answer on that.” It’s my turn to grimace. Her smile slowly fades but she tries to hide it by raising her glass again. I know my sexual history – on and off camera – wasn’t something to be proud of. I was young and brash – I didn’t think clearly.

“Yeah, in hindsight, you’re right. I’d rather not know.” She turns away again and focuses on the exhibited glasses positioned on shelves behind the bar. “If it makes you feel any better…” I start off, gaining her attention again, “Nah, I have nothing.” I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly.

The giggle that leaves her lips swells my heart and I take a bold choice to lay my hand upon hers. “At least you’re being honest.” Y/n replies, coyly gazing at me from underneath her lashes. When I don’t reply, I feel her naked leg brush against my jeans-clad leg and she inches just the slightest bit closer.

“Anything else you’d like to know?”

There is only one effort of me left between us for our lips to touch. I can’t help but let my gaze flicker between her plump lips and her penetrating gaze – I can’t.

“What are you going home to later on?” I think this might be the most subtle way I have ever tiptoed around finding out if a lass had a boyfriend, but I need – and want – to be cautious with Y/N. “A cactus.” Her smile grows as well when a stupid grin forms almost immediately after her words.

“I do have to leave you for just the slightest bit love,” I point towards the bathroom doors, “but I hope we can continue when I come back.” I wait for a second to see if she’d answer and just the slightest of nods is enough for me to calm my raging nerves.

 I hadn’t heard her come in, but as soon as I have washed and dried my hands, she turns me around and corners me against the wall. Without a word, she steps closer, but still gives me enough time to change my mind if I’d want to. As if I would, ever.

Her fingertips tickle along my neck before she cups my jaw and pulls me to her level, immediately locking lips with mine. My hands curl around her waist and I pull her body swiftly against mine. Her leg fits between my own and the other rest against the wall while her hands wander over my torso.

The kiss heats up and I trail my hands down to her bum, giving it a firm squeeze. It elicits a moan from her lips which was instantly swallowed by my own. Involuntarily, she rolls her hips against my thigh as I keep pressing her closer towards me.

“Let’s leave.” She pants against my cheek before she pulls away. Within a second she has recollected herself and pulls her dress down just a little bit more, turning to leave the bathroom. “Are you coming?” She turns around, her tender hand resting on the door handle. I’m still parked against the wall, my pants straining painfully and I stare at her with an opened mouth. “Of course.”

Flashback in italics

The room was dark, it was already 2:00 am and you couldn’t help yourself, memories were killing you and you started feeling so bad. The courtains were closed and the bed was undone even when you were not in it, the floor felt just better, you couldn’t go back to the place where you shared dreams and hopes. You just couldn’t.

“Go away, Harry” you said looking everywhere but his eyes and backed up when he tried to reach your hands.

You start falling apart and it was hard for you to breath. His green eyes were everywhere in the room, you could smell his scent in the air even thought he hadn’t been there for almost 2 weeks now.

“I don’t need you! Let me the fuck alone!” you yelled at him with watery eyes, you didn’t wanted to cry but it was too much, you told yourself to stay firm and do not lose control but you were getting to your limits. His eyes looked for yours wanting that something tells him that you were lying but it never came.