#stutteringfear

“Nothing’s changed,” he observes, standing on the path that leads to the front door of his old house. He barely remembers it, but something tells him that nothing has been done to change the house physically. It looks the same, his mother’s garden has been changed, it just looks more kept up than what Sonia ever did. “Was your house — had it changed at all?”

      “Bill!” she cried, “jesus!” Without a second thought, she ran to him and as they met in the middle, her hands lifted to his cheeks. “Of course I did,” she answered breathlessly, eyes scanning his face for any signs of injury. “I––” Audra stopped, took a breath. “I couldn’t let you just... leave.” At last her eyes met his, desperation clear on her face. “Baby, what are you doing out here?”

“did this town always smell like rotting fish?” rolling the sleeves on his shirt up more, he sniffed slightly and wrinkled his nose. he wouldn’t open his mouth unless to speak -- not until their walk took them further away from the rotting smell. he didn’t want to eat the rancid stench. but if his suspicion was correct -- this was just derry’s natural state. he hoped to god that wasn’t the case. he didn’t remember gagging on bad trout his whole life. 

“news flash asshole, nothing has been the same for a long fucking time.” it was mumbled under his breath, but still loud enough that he fully expected bill to hear it. it was cruel, he knew that. but jokes were his defense, jokes were something he could make in the best of times and the worst of times. and this was the worst of times. still -- he pushed his glasses up and rubbed his fingers against the bridge of his nose. eyes closed, a frustrated breath left his nose. dropping the specks back down onto his nose, he turned his eyes back to bill. one hand came out to clasp down on his shoulder, a firm and strong squeeze that was meant to be reassuring. another man might have hugged his friend.  “yeah. you’re right. fucking shit, what i woudn’t give to go back a a day ago and be blissfully unaware. like a god damn baby in a war.”

A laugh leaves Eddie’s lips, head shaking – he knew Bill was right. “Then why in the fuck are we here?! Hell, we could find supplies anywhere else in this fucking town and they’d be guaranteed to be better quality.” A pause as jaw clenches, eyes narrowing as he thought on that statement for just a moment. “Oh well fuck, guess the worst that could fucking happen is we go to another goddamn store and we find the same shit just at a higher price. At least some of this shit is fucking name brand…” looking around he shifts around a rather grotesque looking display, “Do they not have a janitor in this fucking place?!?! Oh, hey look!” Hands grab toward a few select first aid supplies as he lets out a quick laugh, “I didn’t think they’d have this kind of shit here… Oh fuck! Hand sanitizer!”

        Audra smiled, eyes glimmering with pride. Bill had gone through so much, and even after the trauma of the past few days, he’d come out the other end hopeful. She knew he was strong–– she’d always known he was strong. But it was only since Derry that she truly understood just how much. She stood with her hands laid against his chest, eyes peering up into his with a deep and reverent affection. “I’m proud of you, Billy,” she said softly. “I am so, so proud.”