B u l l ｓｈｉｔ ！

      by the time eddie had emerged from the building richie’s anxiety had skyrocketed, but he’d already called out his name and brought eager attention to himself. he couldn’t take it back now, so he braced himself for whatever response he might get–which could be complete confusion. after all he’d somehow managed to forget him and he’d been infatuated with him as a kid, hadn’t even remotely remembered until he’d seen him.

      the response he got he couldn’t have braced himself for, because it was completely unexpected. eddie sounded almost angry, and he was going straight for the questions richie had hoped might not come at all. though now that eddie was asking richie was remembering even more. he was neurotic even as a kid. he could only imagine how much growing up had potentially added to that. even with this thought, though, he felt his defenses go up. it didn’t take much with him, which was probably just one of the many reasons why he’d never had a serious relationship.

      that and the fact he was still almost completely closeted.

      he narrowed his eyes as well, a challenging expression taking over the smile that had lit his expression previously. ❛ what, i’m not allowed to look up an old friend while i’m in the area? ❜ he asked, tone sarcastic to hide the sudden regret he was feeling for doing this. honestly eddie was in the right. this was crazy. he couldn’t just come in and disrupt his life after decades of no contact whatsoever.

      his gaze wandered down toward eddie’s left hand where he spotted a wedding band. he wished he could explain the awful things he was feeling at the sight of it. how on earth could someone he didn’t even really know anymore elicit this strong of a reaction from him? he was known in small circles for being a heartbreaker, ridiculous as that would probably sound to eddie now. he hated the title but he refused to change it. he would meet a man, mess around, and once things started to feel too serious he’d cut it off without a single thought. he supposed maybe this was some kind of twisted karma. either way, he knew he had made a mistake.

      ❛ i googled you. i saw you on the street yesterday and when i finally realized who you were– ❜ he stopped. he didn’t know what he’d been thinking. what, that he would show up and eddie would be overjoyed to see him? that he’d hug him and tell him he’d missed him? fucking stupid. maybe there was a way to salvage this though. he could always use his show as a scapegoat.

      that was what made him a mediocre comedian. he was decent at thinking on his feet. that and someone else wrote the majority of his jokes.

      he fished his phone out of his pocket and pulled up his website and went to his tour information. he held it out so eddie could see the screen. ❛ i’ve got a show tomorrow tonight. thought you might be interested in coming. it’s, uh.. i’ve got a few more seats left. i could reserve a couple, if you’re not busy. ❜ or if he was even interested. this was, of course, a half-baked plan. he wasn’t considering how knowing eddie was in the audience could affect his performance, and new york was an important show.

      as he pretty much always did, richie was improvising himself into a mess.

——- Eddie saw the clear change in Richie’s demeanor, and realized that he had been a bit too harsh. Eddie was never great at being subtle, and he’d gotten worse over the years at being nice. Adulthood does that to you, makes you jaded, tired.          Look up an old friend when in the area? Richie wouldn’t of had any idea Eddie even lived in New York. It’s not like they stayed in touch after high school, everyone moved on and fell out of touch. None of them tried to stay friends, even if they were in proximity to each other. 

       He had anxiety ragging in his stomach, the same kind of anxiety he had always felt as they were kids. One he had never recognized was butterflies at the time, and even now was forcing himself to believe it was something else. Was his hunger, or his panic of being called out on a busy street. Richie Tozier can’t be giving him, a nearly 40 something year old man, butterflies.

       He must of recognized Eddie last night near the train station, that’s the only way he could have known Eddie was living here. But looking up his place of work? What else could Richie have done? Have looked up?

       Eddie looked down at the phone, then back up to Richie. He was talking out of his ass, Eddie knew as much. He let out a sigh through his nose, shaking his head.                               ‘ Be. Nice. ‘   He told himself, trying to calm down the anxiety spiking in his chest. This is just a weird coincidence, right? It had to be.

           ❝ You could of, I dunno, facebooked me ? You didn’t have to. . . ❞ He bit his tongue, forcing himself not to be an asshole right now. Eddie looked down at his watch, gritting his teeth, ❝ Have you eaten ? Do you wanna get coffee or something ? ❞ Eddie said awkwardly, he didn’t really drink much coffee but he thought that’s what people do when they catch up, right? Have coffee and talk?

      it’d hit him like an entire goddamn skyscraper  as he’d sat alone in his hotel room. eddie. eddie kaspbrak. and as soon as he’d remembered it felt impossible he’d ever forgotten about him, it made no sense. and even though there are a flood of memories (and feelings) washing over him there are still so many foggy spots. it’s like something is blocking his access, like something doesn’t want him to remember all of it. trying to remember more does nothing but give him a headache, so he decides to drop it for the time being.

      after some extensive research  and after going back to the spot they’d crossed paths in the street and standing around for a little while, he decides to complete the rest of the walk and go straight to the building eddie works in. he’s nervous, palms sweaty despite the cold new york weather. he doesn’t even know how long he’s been waiting, it feels like ages, until he sees the man emerge. ❛ eddie! ❜ he exclaims, inwardly kicking himself for his overzealousness. he hadn’t meant to sound so much like a fucking kid, even though he feels like one. ❛ eddie. do you remember me? this is crazy, man. what are the odds? ❜ pretty high, given the fact he’s basically stalking him right now. whatever. he’ll leave that part out.

@inhalcrs·  /  plotted starter

——- Eddie hadn’t paid any mind when he walked past that gangly dude on his way home. Their eyes had locked only for a moment, a registration in both their minds before both promptly looked away. Or at least Eddie had, his phone buzzing and pulling him from his trance. Another work call, and so he answered and continued on his way.         It wasn’t until dinner than his thoughts wandered back to that guy, mind searching for the connection that he knew was there. Sifting through the catalogs of information that Eddie had built up over the years. College, Work Engagements, Holiday Parties, Television. All coming to a dead end on just where he knew this guy was from.

      It was only then, that he remembered. Some locked up part of his brain opening to reveal a memory he hadn’t even realized he’d regressed until that very moment.

          Richie Tozier.

    To most, that name was synonymous with comedy, but it never had been with Eddie. To Eddie, Richie was that annoying kid he spent all his time with as a kid, who constantly poked at and teased him. A person, Eddie now might admit, he sort of missed.

       Eddie dropped his fork in a moment of shock, his wife Myra looking up only to prod at what was the matter. Eddie shook his head, not knowing exactly how to answer, he waved off that it was nothing. That he’d bit his tongue.         He didn’t really know why he lied, saying ‘I saw an old friend today’ might not be so out of the ordinary. But then again, for years Eddie had insisted he doesn’t really remember his childhood outside of his mother, that he had friends from back then but he doesn’t totally remember much about them.

        He had heard that Richie became a comedian, just like he’d heard Bill was a writer, but he never made it a point to listen to any of his stuff. Perhaps that was cruel of him but, well, he was himself. He didn’t really do anything he didn’t have to.

      That night however, Eddie did let his curiosity get the best of him. A quick google search is all.

[     Richie Tozier tour   ] [   Richie Tozier tour New York  ] [   Richie Tozier New York tickets?  ]

          He didn’t buy any.

        Work the next day had been like any other, Eddie had gone to work, doing the same old calls and running every which way. This was something he’d become accustomed to, so he didn’t have any problem with the work. He didn’t even think about Richie that day, too much going on and honestly, he didn’t want to think about it.        It would make things hard, right? Missing the past, missing his friend, wanting to see him again? Yeah, it would make things for Eddie difficult if he saw Richie again, so he wouldn’t seek him out.

      Lunch came sooner than Eddie had been realizing, he’d done so much to keep himself busy he hadn’t realized the time. Eddie hurried along out of the office, phone pressed to his ear and he discussed something about a recent case their office had been analysing. Briefcase in hand and a quick pace to try and use what time he had left to go out. 

                        ❛ eddie! ❜

        He heard his name, and Eddie glanced to his side to see that same awkward dude jogging over to him. Eddie considered bolting, but he stopped in his tracks.       Of course Richie would come looking for him, why had Eddie expected any different.

[ 📱 — sms ] did you just propose to me over text message? @inhalcrs

[ to : eddie spaghetti ] : if i did, would you say yes? [ to : eddie spaghetti ] : that’s the better question

his finger twitched. for one frenzied moment, richie thought about pressing the morphine button and knocking eddie out. not to, you know, murder the guy. he just needed out of the conversation. totally cool. completely ethical. mike drugged bill less than a week ago, and they were chill after, like, twenty minutes.

for real though, did this motherfucker really need to be throwing out emotional landmines every other sentence? ‘cause richie did not have the mental fortitude to safely maneuver through this conversation, not with only a couple hours of sleep under his belt.

“why did i stay? what do you mean ‘why did i stay? you were impaled, dickwad. you expect me to leave after that? you think there is anything more important in la?” his stomach twists. he might be showing his ass on that one, but, fuck, of course he fucking stayed - big gay crush or no.

——- Eddie raised a brow, and if it weren’t for the pain meds coursing through his system, Eddie might have even had a bigger reaction. Nothing more important in LA? He sorta doubted that, but he was grateful. He was glad it was Richie here, so glad.       Eddie sort of smiled, but then started to tear up. A shaky laugh escaping him. Of course, he quickly rubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears.        ❝ Shit, sorry. ❞ He muttered, glancing back, although his attempts to stop his crying hadn’t done much, ❝ I’m glad I’m not dead, holy shit that was scary dude. ❞

        Trying to make light of his already fucked situation, Eddie looked down at himself, a soft laugh through the tears, ❝ Hey, you think I’ll have a cool scar. . . ? ❞ He asked, wiping at his eyes again, ❝ Sorry, ah. . .I probably should sleep again. A lot of. . .there’s a lot to process here. ❞

    About a million butterflies fluttered in his stomach when Eddie interlocked their hands together. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had made him feel that way over such a simple and innocent touch. A faint blush rose on his cheeks and he smiled down at their hands, feeling thankful that Eddie had been the one to make that first move. 

      “That’s exactly what I’ve been saying for years! But nobody ever seemed to get that.” He hadn’t actually been saying that, but it honestly had been part of the reason why he had so many failed relationships. If it wasn’t the fact that he was so deep in the closet he couldn’t even think about going public with someone, then it was his crude humor, or his inability to return the love he was receiving. “I think you can handle it though.”

——- The nervousness that Richie gives off is somehow the cutest thing Eddie has seen in a long time. He can’t help but feel a vague sense of butterflies in his stomach, and it’s gross and awesome at the same time.        Part of him annoyed about feeling like a 14 year old boy again, but part of him also happy he finally got to feel these feelings for someone again. 

            ❝ I might actually strangle you in the process but, yeah, I think I can handle it. ❞ He replies, giving Richie a soft smile, ❝ I’m gonna be a handful too, undoubtedly. . . ❞ A rare chance of Eddie admitting his own faults.