Jul 10, 2018
Having a crush on the soft buff boy
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Having a crush on the soft buff boy
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Wish I had more ideas (and energy) for fics ... 😔
Weekend shenanigans. Recorded a “song” on a 4 track cassette recorder. Made some stuff to look at for that song but didn’t record the video yet. #cv #controlvoltage #videosynth #lzx #stuffstuff #modularsynth
To be completely honest, I kind of want to stop doing art completely. Because I no longer...really have fun with it. I have never considered myself an artist and my main passion for art in the present has boiled down to appreciating and collecting art rather than making it. Over the years I’ve just...grown tired. It’s grown stale.
It’s now an obligation whenever I make art. I feel like I have to do it or I’ll not be able to do it at all. I need to do draw as a side job for a little bit more income cuz that’s the only way I can afford to buy commissions or to buy gifts or afford a nice meal. I’m honestly really, really thankful people still like my art and want me to draw for them.
But I’m also afraid because I fear that once I no longer do it, I will no longer relevant or included or worth anyone’s time/attention. I’d be like I’m nothing to the masses like before. Already, I’ve been drifting away and not being able to interact or give as gifts to people because I can’t draw and it’s...sad.
Of course, sometimes I do get the genuine itch to draw. Those are very welcome. But for the most part, I’m not exactly eager or interested anymore.
So yeah, just wanted to have a ramble. Also, don’t get me wrong, I’m stlill working on commissions xD It’s the main thing that motivates me to draw at all these days and I’m really appreciative of it.