Okay so I got news two days ago that my therapist is taking a break from practicing for medical reasons. After a whole lot of crying, shaking and nausea, I just feel numb. But I need to find a new therapist during this break and I’m really not looking forward to that. My T is the only T I’ve had and I’m afraid of finding someone else.

This morning I had the intake session with my new T. It was good, she was nice, I didn’t die. But it was really weird. Everything about her and her office is completely different from my T and that really was strange. But overall it was good and I have a session scheduled for after my vacation

I'm trying to write this essay which is due at midnight and I just have no motivation. Once I finish this I won't have any work to do for the rest of the week. I just don't know what to write and I don't want to bullshit this becuase I want to get a decent grade... Oh well... I dug my own grave

Today's session we as good, but time went by way too quickly! I will probably debrief more later, but today we talked about my inability to let people care for me, my need for decorating my space (which is currently very bland and empty) and a little bit about my situation with r.

T responded that I will have a session tomorrow! I'm happy about that, but also a bit stressed because that complicates my day a little more! I have an exam and then a lab and than I have 10 min to get from my lab to my apartment for therapy (it's like a 15 min walk 😂) and then after therapy I have to go directly to another class. but c'est la vie!

So t texted to cancel todays session becuase she is sick. She didn't respond to my text about rescheduling for tomorrow (after she offered) so I don't think I'm going to have therapy this week, which is a shame becuase we really need to talk about what happened last session.

I just emailed T about my conflicted feelings and my confusion about what was going on. Hopefully we can break things down during my session on Wednesday!

Regarding my last post , do you think I should tell T? I'm playing with the idea of emailing her something similar to what I wrote, but I'm not sure. Help