#studyabroadmemories

I think I mentioned back in chapter one or two that my home stay family unfortunately did not turn out to be so great even though in the beginning they seemed awesome; so I’m going to take a little break from my recollection of July to explain why that was since July was to be the last month that I would stay with them and I might as well get that out of the way. In the beginning, they really made me feel comfortable and happy and it’s a shame it turned out the way it did because I really wanted to have a second family in Japan through them. They didn’t by any means break my exchange experience but it is a slight unfortunate side to my time there. Before I met my home stay mother who was late picking me up on the first of April, my university informed me of how lucky I was to be staying with this family. This was primarily because their house was in the centre of Nagasaki city and close to everything I could need. I wouldn’t have minded at all being in the pure countryside though but oh well. They also said this because apparently my home stay family were veterans in hosting people but had taken a two year break from doing it and I was the first person that they had decided to take on in a while. (I later found out that it was because their last home stay student was this big smelly guy who just never left his room and seemed to watch anime all day, every day. My home stay family often compared me to him and said I was much better while basically bad mouthing him.). I think that after a month of living with my home stay family the novelty must have worn off which is strange that I would have been a novelty to them since they were so used to hosting foreigners but it truly felt like that. All of April was great and they really showed me a great time. From May onward, however, their attitude towards me just dropped. I tried to be as respectful as I could to them and never take advantage of their kindness or ask too much of them so I really don’t know what happened. They just became very neglectful and apathetic towards me. My theory is that even though my home stay mother was a stay at home mother she just had too much on her plate. She was very sociable and if she wasn’t tending to her high school aged daughter’s or junior high school aged son’s needs then she was taking part in some kind of event. Not that I think it should be her job to clean it but their house was always filthy so clearly she didn’t care about that either. Which meant she was outside of the house a lot of the time and wasn’t cooking or cleaning and which would result in the father having to cook, usually just enough for himself and his son. Essentially, if the mother wasn’t home then I wouldn’t get breakfast or dinner--which is what I paid for as part of my home stay package (and it was quite the expensive package). 

To be honest it felt like they were becoming quite stingy with me which didn’t make sense because I saved them a lot of money. I often went out with my friends and would always let them know when I was going out and didn’t need dinner and then in Ramadan when I spent the month fasting I never needed breakfast so they didn’t need to cook for an extra person for a long time. Regardless, there was one time when they all decided to go out for dinner for a special occasion and said I was allowed to come but had to pay for my portion. So either come out and pay for dinner with them or get no dinner at home and have to buy dinner anyway. It’s not like I was expecting them to pay for me but come on, I paid so much to live with them and they were saving so much money as it is but then were even having me pay for dinner with them? I guess I’m still a little bitter. On some days when it rained or when I didn’t have any plans, which was somewhat rare, they even seemed bothered by the idea that I might want to spend the whole day in the house and would ask if I was planning to go out at all. I went from really trying to be close with them and getting them to like me to just keeping to myself after a while. My little home stay brother who was in junior high didn’t seem to get the memo about being cold to me because in the end he was my only friend in the house and we would often play card games together. Don’t get me wrong though, I did try to at least communicate the food issue with my home stay mother but she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about and that the times that I didn’t get any dinner was because they didn’t know that I was in the house (???). A complete lie because I always informed them when I planned to be outside the house through text (always in Japanese) and when I didn’t say anything then that meant that I was planning to be home for dinner; besides she also never asked or made sure if I was planning to be out. 

Throughout July as well, my home stay mother was also just never around when I needed help with preparing to leave in August or would just make up an excuse and say she needed to do something when I needed her help. You see, I was planning to start backpacking around Japan come August and needed to sort out how to get my suitcase from Nagasaki to Tokyo and what to do with all of the things that I wasn’t planning to take with me i.e. donate or recycle. I had done some research on the best method to get my suitcase sent back to Tokyo without incurring any extra costs. When I sent my suitcase to Nagasaki from Tokyo in March it had a place to go to but since I would be backpacking and didn’t really have a place waiting for me at that point in Tokyo I couldn’t just send my suitcase all the way to Tokyo with nowhere to go but I had found out I could send it to a major post office, for example, Osaka city post office, and they would hold it for ten days free of charge before sending it back to where it came from and then I could just send it again to Tokyo from Osaka when I was to arrive in Osaka. It did need a lot of explanation to the post office staff on what I was planning to do and my suitcase was heavy enough already so I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff. This is where I thought my home stay mother would help me. First of all, the Nagasaki city post office was a bit far to be lugging around the suitcase from their apartment so I thought she could drive me there, help me donate some of my stuff and help to explain my plan to the post office staff. Alas, she wasn’t around to help with any of that and I had to figure it all out on my own. Anyway I’m getting a bit ahead of myself because that didn’t actually happen until the beginning of August but I wanted to paint a picture of what my home stay family was like before I mention them again later.

The end of July was super jam packed. On the 27th, I had my last day at the English school that I was working at and it felt like my time there had gone by so fast. My boss made it clear to me how much he wanted me to come back and work for him when I was to graduate. Working for him was quite the experience and I definitely learned a lot about myself as a teacher and about teaching and realised that I really enjoyed it which is why I decided from that point that I was going to work toward applying for the JET programme, but that’s a story for another time. My last shift was really sweet because I had bonded with a bunch of my students so each group of students from the various classes that I taught made me a little farewell card that I still have. I was really sad to be going but looking forward to possibly teaching in Japan again at some point in my future. 

The next day was the “graduation/farewell” ceremony for all of the exchange students at my university who were planning to leave. This was also sad but also so much fun because the school made a whole event out of it. There was food and music and everyone was dressed up so nice. I even put together my best outfit which was a flowery crop top hand me down from B and some nice overalls. Looking back on some photos though and by the end of my exchange I became so dark compared to how I normally am. I guess because I was walking to school everyday but I really don’t tan that easily in Vancouver, just shows how strong the sun is in Japan. My home stay mother also made a passing comment (before the graduation) about how it would have been nicer if I stayed whiter...I don’t think she meant to sound racist or anything and I am just doing a literal translation of what she said but I think she was just bewildered at how much I just didn’t care all that much that I was tanning and the fact that I was able to become so tanned and that I never put any effort in to look feminine. It also is not common at all for Japanese women to tan and actually they often try their best to cover their skin from the sun in the Summer since looking “white” or pale is something most girls strive to look like there. Anyway, the ceremony portion of the event was really nice and some of the exchange students who had been there longer gave a little speech. It felt super bittersweet to be saying goodbye to all my friends that I had met there from around the world. I met people from the U.S, the Netherlands, France, Vietnam, and China and we shared so much together whether in class or at some university event. I tried to write a letter to some of the people that I was close to and I ended each one with a little message that is a bit cheesy but why not? This was a landmark event in our lives. I said something along the lines of “this isn’t goodbye but see you later!” because I was planning to see them again and I have already met with some of them since then. Later that evening, B took me up to Inasa mountain to look at the stars, enjoy the night view of Nagasaki and celebrate the end of my studies. It was a lovely end to an eventful four months both at my part time job and university.

The day after graduating was the long awaited dance event of the pier side festival! It was quite the exhausting night and I was super nervous about whether I would dance well at all but it was a success! I was able to dance in sync with everyone else! By the end of it all I was super red in the face from what a workout it was and that it was just super humid. It felt like the whole city was there to watch. It was a little embarrassing because some of my students were there too as well some of my teachers from the university but it was a lot of fun and really cool to be able to represent the university and be in the spotlight like that. It honestly went by too fast. You know that feeling of tension that builds up before you get on a really scary looking roller coaster but then you get on and it’s over before you know it? That’s what this kind of felt like. Either way, a really memorable experience and I’m super glad that it was filmed by NHK and I was able to get a copy. Actually, now that I think about it. I pretty much did everything but vlog/blog when it came to collecting memories of things that happened. I took SO many photos of things, a few videos (both on a really bad and worn out phone) and whenever something was being filmed I always tried to get a copy of it. The second day of the pier side festival was the day I got to fulfil a little childhood fantasy of mine; I got to have my first go at a Summer festival at night in a yukata or Summer kimono and it was a blast! I felt super pretty in B’s hand me down yukata that she gave me which had a pink flowery design on a black background. I walked around with R and Corn and later met up with B, ate at some of the food stalls and watched the pretty fireworks for a good 30 minutes. It was absolutely lovely.

On the 30th, one of the senior American teachers that I had mentioned before who was somewhat in charge of the exchange students threw what was apparently his annual end of the year Summer party at his house. It seemed a tad bizarre to me that all of the Japanese first year students (other years were welcome too) and all of the exchange students were invited to party it up at a teacher’s house to celebrate finishing our studies but oh well. R made me promise to go since she had to be there as well because she was on the culture festival preparation committee or something and apparently everyone in the committee has to go to this party so she wanted me to be there too. I didn’t mind at all, I mean, I had some reservations about it because it was weird but also because I had to be up early the next day but since a couple other friends of mine were going as well as H who said he’d drive us (this teacher’s house was in the proper countryside, middle of nowhere). From what I can remember it was an interesting but still strange night. Several of the students didn’t care at all about drinking at a teacher’s house and people generally let loose. My only problem was a couple of the female first years and one girl in particular who got super wasted and was dressed in heels  and was just being really loud and obnoxious but still wanted to follow me and a few others across the street, in the dark, from the house, through a wooded area and to the beach on the other side for some fresh air and to just get away from everything at the party. I was a tad annoyed but mostly concerned that these girls would hurt themselves although no one else seemed to care. I don’t remember much else from that night apart from the fact that we seemed to be there until sunrise. Although my friends and I spent most of it walking around outside and found a really pretty bridge to catch the sunrise. It was a nice way to end a weird night. Although, it wasn’t exactly over. I and the couple of other friends just mentioned, one of which being N, the girl I participated in the dance party with, had committed to being in the Nagasaki Peron boat race, again to represent our university and had no time to go home and rest beforehand since it was meant to start a few hours later at around 9 am. So H, being the sweetheart that he is, stayed up with us and drove us to where the boat race was to take place, parked outside a convenience store and we napped there for about an hour and a half, got some breakfast and were ready to go. I was truly living the exchange life with all these all-nighters that didn’t involve studying. The boat race was a hit as well. I remember being super pumped for it and not feeling tired at all. At some point I memorised a sort of cheer that is said during the boat race and began to basically chant it over and over during the race which seemed to help motivate everyone to row faster. I can confirm that according to a photo that I just saw from the event, I had a blast but looked super goofy.

Boy Drama Part Three: The Finale

Bet you thought this was over! Well, not quite yet. You see I never finished talking about what happened with E and you may think that it just fizzled out...but not exactly. Actually, my ending with him took place from mid/end of June until about the middle of July but since I spoke about Y enough in part 2, I thought I might as well dedicate part 3 to E. It was very strangely just a couple of days after the incident with Y that E messaged me again and pretty much insisted on a second date. He even invited me over to his house but I quickly declined that offer. This was all probably owing to the fact that I had spoken to him at the university just recently about how my phone broke and I panic bought rice to fix it but didn’t know what to do with the rice afterwards and then he offered to take it off my hands. He wanted to eat my phone rice. Well, one less thing that I needed to worry about I guess. Anyway, I was still kinda reeling from what happened with Y near the end of June and having to think about my final assignments, the dance at the pier side festival and wrapping everything up with university but E insisted on a date even though he should have known that I would be busy with assignments being that he was a teacher, but sure, whatever. I agreed to a date for the first Sunday of July but told him that it would have to be a much more casual one since I was planning to get some studies done earlier in the day before meeting up with him. Well, that was the plan. I really should have never agreed to meet up with him because I didn’t even like him anymore but I thought he got the hint that I lost interest and we only had one date that wasn’t really romantic or anything. But he insisted on this date and I didn’t know how to tell him that I wasn’t into him anymore or, well, I just didn’t want to, apart from all the excuses that I tried to give him. 

The plan was for him to do his errands that he said he needed to do and that I would study at a cafe for a few hours and then we would meet up at 9pm for a night time stroll and maybe to get a snack or something. That didn’t happen. I cycled up to the cafe at about 5pm and he was there. I was so confused. We had agreed to meet at 9 but he was there. To be honest, I was feeling a bit ill as well and just wasn’t at all in the mood for this creepiness. I asked him what he was doing there so early and he said that he already finished his errands and thought we could start our date early. Um what? I told him that I hadn’t even started studying yet and he said it was ok and that he would join me while I studied. You might be thinking that should be nice, right? A Japanese teacher to sit with while I did my Japanese studies. Nope. I set myself up, and opened my books and instead of starting a conversation or asking what he could help with or anything, he just sat there and stared at me while I tried to finish my homework. Ahhhh the creep factor was strong with this one. I withstood that for all of 10 minutes before I just thought, right, this isn’t working. I packed up my stuff and told him we should go for a walk since I couldn’t concentrate. I remember my mood just getting more and more sour because, I’ll be honest, it was my time of the month and I was pmsing and he just wasn’t helping the matter. We walked around the city and pier and I tried to cheer myself up so that I didn’t seem too mean but I just found him utterly boring by that point. I think at some point he noticed that I wasn’t feeling well or something so he began to fill the silence a bit himself but it wasn’t really working. We decided to go into a supermarket after awhile and get some ice cream. We bought yukimi daifuku which was a brand of mochi ice cream and was delicious so that did help things a bit. Afterwards though, I decided that it was late enough that I could probably get away with ending the night there so I said that I wanted to go home and then he insisted on walking me home and wouldn’t take no for an answer. On the way back, he began to talk about how he can’t wait until I’m not his student anymore and how he wants to be able to be super open with his affection towards me and hold my hand while walking and do romantic things like that. I was too tired to think too much about it at the time but it really should have dawned on me at that point that this guy thought we were a couple. We had been on barely two dates and still hardly knew each other apart from texting for like a month and talking at school but he thought I was his girlfriend. 

We got back to my house and I thanked him and was about to leave but he went in for a goodbye hug which I obliged him on but after that went in for a kiss and I kid you not, I ducked out of the way. I don’t know if he thought it was a mistake or something but he tried to kiss me a second time!! And I friggin ducked again. I don’t know what to tell you, it’s like something out of a sitcom. You can’t make this stuff up. I don’t know what he was thinking but after that I quickly said bye again and just ran up the stairs. Later on, he sent me a message saying he had a fun night to which I did not reply. I honestly do not know what part of that “date” he thought had gone successful enough for a kiss or even that he felt any chemistry between us because trust me there was none. *sighs* Why do I seem to attract weirdos? (not including the bf, of course)