Feedback of Student Samples
A Cyber Experience
This narrative responds correctly to the Project 3 assignment prompt. Fenty tells the story of her experience of how she created a forum RP and how it changed her life and literacy. She makes connections with people show wouldn’t have met without technology, and ended up saving someone’s life as she later explains. Her writing is also much improved by the use of a forum RP. Her narration includes descriptions, explanations and quotations; which is all-important to the story. All of these things make up the requirements in the Project 3 prompt. The MLA format was also correct in this narrative. The heading and name area was correctly formatted. The quotations were also formatted correctly; Fently started also started a new paragraph whenever there was a switch in dialog. This will be a beneficial reference when I add dialog into my own narrative.
I’m Friends with my Mom on Facebook
The first thing I noticed in this narrative was that the WRA XXX and date was formatted incorrectly on the upper left-hand side. As I got farther into the narrative I also noticed that the when she wrote the messages between her and her mother, the font was larger and bold. This finding also made me realized that the overall font of the paper was incorrect. Other than those MLA errors, I enjoyed this narrative. It caught my attention and the writing was relatable for a girl my age. Her story showed how Facebook (technology) affected her life, which follows the Project 3 prompt. Although she referenced literacy vaguely in the middle of the story, she did not explain how it played a role in her Facebook experience. I would suggest adding more about the literacy and technology aspect, so her paper follows the assignment prompt more closely.
After comparing both sample narratives, A Cyber Experience follows the prompt and MLA format more closely and correctly than I’m Friends with my Mom on Facebook.
