#stuck again

So instead of interrupting when im actually managed to write something to go back and hunt for the names, I write what I can and later go back and put in correct names.

it feels like a level

i’ve already played a thousand times

and somehow i still lose

at the exact same spot.

i see it coming,

that slipping feeling,

that quiet “not again,”

but i can’t stop it.

and then i’m back there.

in that hole.

thinking too much,

feeling nothing

or everything at once.

people always say “it passes.”

but they never say when.

or how many times

you have to fall

before it’s true.

i scroll through my own life

like it isn’t mine,

and i keep wondering:

does it ever stop?

like really

does there come a moment

where it just gets… lighter?

because right now

it feels like i’m fighting

something that already knows

how to pull me back in.

and i just want to know

if i ever win.