rated teen & up, transmasc eddie munson, transfem nancy wheeler, established relationship, domestic fluff, needles, sexual humor, eddie's first hormone shot
read on archive of our own
wrote this on another account once upon a time. i thought i'd rewrite it for the roulette event and post it to my new platforms since my pairing was edancy. i just love them, your honor. i wanted to a fic centered around the insecurity that sometimes comes with transitioning. a lot of people will often get in your head and make you doubt your own intuition and feelings, making certain aspects of transitioning conflicting and sometimes upsetting. i don't really see a lot of people implementing that in trans fics, so i figured i would since it's something i've struggled with heavily in the past. their dynamic is loosely based on my girlfriend and i. my girlfriend isn't trans, but we've definitely had interactions that bear a striking resemblance of this. she's my rock, so this is dedicated to her. after everything i've been through recently, she's never left my side. i love you, baby.
for the @st-rarepair-roulette and @californiaboytoybilly.
"Stop moving," Nancy chastised, pulling the needle away from Eddie's skin for the umpteenth time and meeting his eyes. "I don't wanna actually hurt you."
Eddie, however, was still cowering in his chair. He had a pillow from there bed hugged tightly to his chest like a child, leering down at his girlfriend with cautious eyes. "You could've fooled me, sweetheart."
An amused grin splits Nancy's face at that. "Eddie, I do this every week on myself. I'm basically a professional."
And, to Nancy's credit, she did. And she was. She had been taking estrogen shots for the last two years without ever needing help. She worked her hormone administrations into her self-care routine seamlessly, as if it were as simple as brushing her teeth.
Except Nancy wasn't utterly terrified of needles.
Eddie groaned, pressing his face into the plush cushion against his chest. "Why is this so hard?" His voice comes out muffled, but the whine is still evident in his tone.
Nancy snickered at him, rubbing the expanse of his exposed thigh comfortingly. "I have no clue, especially when you look like a walking advertisement for tattoo shops everywhere."
"Hey!" Eddie's head shot up rapidly, eyes wide like she'd just said the most unbelievable thing in the world. "That's not the same!"
Her brows cocked upwards in playful curiosity. "How is it not the same?"
"Because," Eddie held out his hands to make vague gestures at her. "Tattoos are like... It's not even...They're two totally different..." His words trailed off as his face crumbled in defeat.
Nancy's gaze softened to something sickeningly fond, giving his leg a squeeze as she kissed his knee. "Do you trust me?"
It was then that Eddie's body relaxed, even if only by a margin. She always seemed to have that effect on him.
After a moment of thinking, Eddie nodded. "A ridiculous amount, unfortunately."
Nancy seemed pleased with that answer, extending her free hand to him. "Here, hold this for me."
Eddie looked between her hand and her entirely-too-calm expression, offense written on his features. "If you think I'm letting you do this one-handed, you're actually crazy."
It was then that she gave him a stern look. "Theodore James Munson, if you don't take my hand right now, I'll actually stab you and get this over with. Pick your poison."
To absolutely no one's surprise, Eddie's hand found hers without further complaint.Â
With a pleased hum, Nancy gave his hand a squeeze. "Good boy."
Eddie whined again, a burn building in his cheeks. "You're so mean."
"You make it so easy." She teased, starting to rub his knuckles with the pad of her thumb. "Now, can you close your eyes for me?"
Eddie tried to think of a retort to that as well, but after seeing the look in her eyes, he knew arguing was futile. His eyes fall closed at her command.
Eddie felt her lips meet his fingers, gentle kisses scattering the skin there. "You look really handsome today." Nancy mumbled, resting their hands on his unoccupied thigh.
For the first time in the past thirty minutes, Eddie smiled, almost opening his eyes to properly look at her and respond. However, he's met with a swift correction.
"I said eyes closed!"
Eddie was quick to squeeze them closed again. "Sorry, sorry." He placated. "I was just gonna say I think you look beautiful."
He could practically hear her smile as she spoke again. "Yeah? Tell me what's beautiful about me."
"Is that negative self-talk I hear?"
"Humor me."
Eddie huffed, trying to sift through the thousands of examples to pull from. "Well," He started, lips tugging into another grin. "You have beautiful eyes. Your hair always seems to look good no matter what you do to it. I'm convinced your smile could cure any worldly ailment. You're so much more talented than you give yourself credit for. Not to be a freak, but you have a nice collarbo- ah-"
A sudden sharp pinch hit the outside of his thigh, making his face pinch. He drew a shaky, hissing breath, trying his best to keep his eyes shut and off of the needle now piercing his flesh.
But, almost as quickly as it happened, it was over. It took him a few moments to convince himself to look, but when he did, all he saw was the love of his life applying a comically fitting Spider-Man bandage to the injection site.Â
Nancy set the spent materials aside, looking up at Eddie lovingly. "You can't take back anything you said, or you're sleeping on the couch."Â
But her tease fell on deaf ears, Eddie's attention zeroed in on his leg. A concoction of emotion swirled in his mind and chest, trying to grapple with the reality that he was finally transitioning. All the hard work he'd put in this past year, all the doctor's appointments, all the therapy sessions. It all led to this.
"Hey." Nancy tried to pull his attention back, voice gentler. "Baby, look at me."
Eddie finally met her gaze again, a new fear settling behind his eyes. Nancy's brows pinched in concern. "Where'd you go just then?"
When Eddie doesn't respond, she pressed again, more insistently. "Talk to me."
It took Eddie several moments to form the words sitting hesitantly on his tongue, hanging his head down for a moment. When he does muster the courage, his voice remains meek and quiet compared to before.Â
"What if... this doesn't fix it?"
Nancy couldn't hide her confusion if she tried. "Fix what, Eddie?"
"It." He answered, more confidently this time, setting the pillow on the kitchen table. "What if I'm still unhappy? What if I'm..." The word was lodged in his mouth, like a gag.Â
What if I'm wrong?
Finally picking up on his line of thinking, Nancy exhaled a long breath she'd been holding, shaking her head. "Eddie," She squeezed his hand again, firmer than before. "I've known you for five years. I know you can't leave the house without a binder on or you have a panic attack. Anytime you hear your deadname, you recoil. Your whole mood sours if someone uses the wrong pronouns for you. You went through three therapists and seven different doctors just to get the shot I just gave you. At no point did you have doubts. You were counting down the days until your prescription was written for you like it was your own birthday."
Despite all of this, Eddie didn't seem to let go of the insecurity, face still riddled with solemn worry. He hung his head again, starting to sink into his spiraling thoughts.
Until he feels a delicate hand against his jaw, guiding his face back upward. Nancy kept her hand there, holding his head up like he couldn't do so himself. "And if you are wrong? Then you are. If you're right now, but it changes later, then it changes. It doesn't make any of this pointless, or a mistake. This isn't a point of no return. If things end up differently than you pictured it, we can work to get you comfortable again."
The tension started to leave Eddie's body, melting into her touch like they were always meant to be one. Nancy brought her other hand up to his cheek, cupping his face like a prized object to be handled with the utmost care. "I was there for you through your entire coming out journey. Telling Wayne, and the party, and our friends. I was there then, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Not ever."
Eddie, at an utter loss of words as his panic dissipates into thin air, leaned down to capture Nancy's lips in a romantic kiss. She sighed into his mouth, carefully moving from her crouched position to slide carefully into his lap. His arms snaked around her waist lazily, pulling her as close as their bodies would allow.Â
After a few moments of the both of them basking in the domestic bliss that seemed to blanket the room every time they were together, Eddie parted their lip, eyes completely latched onto Nancy in utter adoration. "You gotta do that whole thing every time, though."
Nancy grinned again. "Does that include the twenty minute period where all you did was babble into the pillow anytime I tried to touch you?"
"I mean, you can start tying me to the bed if you think it'd help-"
Nancy smacked his chest as giggles bubbled up Eddie's throat, writhing around in his touch with no real intention of escaping it. "You're an idiot."
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My four fics for @st-rarepair-roulette . Thank you so much for organizing this whole thing and even letting me mod! Yes I went overboard but inspiration be like that sometimes. The ships are in the order of Munver, Stargyle, Tobin x Carol (idk the ship name rn), and finally Hollogrove. All warnings on in each individual fic and none are dead dove or nsfw.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
The Villain of His Own Story (Rare Pair Will/Billy)
Hi everyone! This is the second entry for the @st-rarepair-roulette, this time I got Will/Billy. I always wanted to write something for them, they were the first pair I found when I entered the fandom!
I'm not really happy with the fic but I at least, I tried! This is the first chapter and I'll try to finish the fic soon.
I'll write more spicy Byers Jr soon!
Link to the fic: The Villain of His Own Story on Ao3
Rating: M Pairing: Will Byers/Bily Hargrove TW: Smoking Weed, mention of drugs (coke), Attempted Underage Sex Wc: 3921 A little snippet:
âFuck you,â Will was still bothered. âYou know everything, like my mother and my brother. I can go in a fucking club and screw with whoeverâ. He lowered his eyes again, but Billy felt in his bitter voice that wasnât the first time he argued about it. âYou can, but itâs not the best thing. You should find someone who really likes youâŠâ âYeah. Someone as desperate and dumb as me, you mean, because people like you wouldnât touch me with a stickâ. âPeople like me? No, youâre totally off track⊠you are⊠you are pretty, more than prettyâŠâ Billy blushed and lowered his eyes. Heâd rather prefer ignoring it, but he always had a soft spot for Will. A crush, although he didnât want to accept it. Will had always been a silent, shy boy at his house when he came over to play with Max and Jane, but he always had been polite and kind with him, although he was evidently daunted by his presence. They shared some silent secrets, they caught each other looking up and down on the legs of some football player, and they always kept the secret; and Will was pretty when he was little, and Billy saw how he grew up in a fortnight and how his baby body changed into aâŠÂ a more attractive person. And he had those velvet eyes that followed him when Will thought Billy didnât notice it. One day Will was drawing and Billy joked about it, asking for a portrait of himself. Will gave him a pencil draw some days later and Billy still had that drawing between his dearest things. So the problem wasn't that Will wasnât cute. The problem was Billy. âI am used to being⊠a bad person with others, Will⊠with people I bang,â he scoffed bitterly.
It's time to reveal my entry for the Stranger Things Rarepair Roulette event! It's pure Tigerfreak brainrot, it's titled "Unscripted" (unless I change my mind...), and you can find it on ao3. Also, it's totally un-betaed, so there's a chance of typos etc. đ€·ââïž
Rated E for SMUT!
22889 words
Pairing: Jason Carver/Eddie Munson
Characters: Eddie Munson, Jason Carver, Wayne Munson, Gareth, Billy Hargrove
Tags (the important ones): Alternate Universe - No Upside Down; Broken Bones; enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers; Recreational Drug Use; Catholic Jason Carver; Jason Carver Has a Crush on Eddie Munson; Eddie Munson is a walking disaster; Eddie Munson will not win a gold medal for being a good person; Manipulation; Homophobia & Internalized Homophobia; Angst; Smut; Bad BDSM Etiquette; Religious Imagery & Symbolism; Background Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Summary: When Eddie gets woken up way too early on a Saturday morning by Jason Carver, he has no idea how selling some painkillers to the Catholic prick will derail their lives.
What more can I say except that it's my first time writing these two, so I hope the end result is god. Have fun and heed the (many) tags in the actual work!
Finally, thanks to @st-rarepair-roulette for creating this event and giving me an excuse to write this story! :3
Jonathan was actually pretty proud of himself. You would think that shaking like a leaf from head to toe would have affected his ability to take photos, but it turned out that it wasnât the case.
There was always a celebratory air when they finally got the centerfold. Really it was just an excuse for a party, as if they didnât do this every month. He could hear Hef congratulating the makeup artist and kind of hitting on her. Same old same old, and it got old really fast. People thought it was exciting shooting for playboy but really it was just a job at a certain point.
âWe didnât get a chance to talk.â
He froze halfway through putting his camera into his bag. He would recognize that lilting voice anywhere, just like he recognized the set off her shoulder, the strawberry tone of her hair. He thought about suggesting a cheerleader outfit halfway through, but he wasnât sure he could handle that.
He turned, âHey Chrissy. Long time.â
âIâd say no see but,â She blushed prettily, her fluffy bathrobe falling down a little as she shrugged, âI think you saw a lot of me.â
His mouth felt dry, and he made a sound halfway through a laugh and a whimper.
âYou look good,â She said softly.
âSo do⊠ah⊠you,â He choked.
âYou talk to anyone from Hawkins?â
Heâd forgotten about the rest of Hawkins. Heâd forgotten his last name.
Everyone in Hawkins was a little bit in love with Chrissy Cunningham. Jonathan even remembered Nancy talking about her once upon a time, how pretty she was, how nice⊠he kind of wondered what Nancy would say if she knew Chrissy Cunningham was Miss December 1988 and Jonathan had seen herâŠ.
âJonathan?â
âAh⊠yeah. Sorry. Uh⊠what did you say?â
âI asked if you ever talk to anyone from Hawkins.â
âNot really,â He shrugged, âI mean besides my mom of course.â
âI love your mom,â Chrissy beamed, âShe was always so nice.â
Jonathan looked down at his shoes, glancing around. The room had emptied out, just a few of the lighting guys cleaning up, laughing with each other.
âSo when did you move out to California,â He mumbled.
âBasically as soon as I graduated,â She said. âThe whole town went downhill after you left.â
He looked up, getting a little blinded by her big blue eyes.
âWhy donât we talk about it more⊠over dinner? Iâll wear clothes and everything,â She smiled, and the nostalgia hit him like a sucker punch. Nostalgia smelled like obsession by Calvin Klein and whatever Chrissy Cunningham magic made her always smell clean and fresh. It looked like strawberry blonde hair draped over the back of a homeroom chair and a slightly gapped tooth smile.
She couldnât mean anything by it. I mean, she was Miss December 1988, and he was still creepy Jonathan Byers.
âAnd maybe after,â She shrugged, letting the bathrobe slip down on her pale creamy shoulder, âI could take them off for you in private.â
He didnât quite have enough words in his throat to respond, but she seemed to catch his meaning enough, grinning and telling him to wait for her. He left the shoot with his hand around her waist, fingers curling into the soft fuzz of her sweater.
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For ST Rarepair Roulette đ @st-rarepair-roulette
Word Count: ~5,000
Ships: Billy Hargrove x Chrissy Cunningham and Heather Holloway x Jason Carver.
Warnings: Implied/referenced child abuse, lots of arguing and misunderstandings, very mild references to sexual content.
~~~~~~
âNo. Nope. I donât believe that for one second.â
Gossip. Thatâs all it is. Heather and Chrissy laying on the formerâs bed, legs up against the wall, long hair dangling over the opposite edge of the bed, exchanging silly gossip.
Never the mean kind, Chrissy wonât allow that, itâs mostly their respective crushes and fascinations from school they talk about.
Or specifically, lately how much Heather doesnât like Chrissyâs taste in boys. Or anybody, for that matter. In her heart of hearts, she knows Heather is just protective.
Still, Chrissy tosses a little stuffed fuzzball of an animal at her friend for that comment, âHetty! Rude!â
âLook Iâm sorry, I just canât believe that Hargrove has like, actual feelings. I donât trust him.â Heather elaborates, through her laughter.
See, sheâd say the same every time, they both know that. What matters is whether Chrissy is bold enough to go through with it. She never has been so far. Itâs one thing to have a crush, but to have someone openly pining back, thatâs something more rare.
An opportunity Chrissy wouldnât like to lose just to please her best friend.
Sheâll try to win her over, âOne date wonât be bad.â
But Heather will make excuse after excuse, âEvery girl says that before the worst night of her life.â
Chrissy rolls onto her front, sighing so heavily the weight of Heatherâs mattress lifts up, like sheâs turned to the most stressed little helium balloon and floated away. Maybe she did, off into her imagination, taking her common sense with her.
Maybe sheâll entertain Heatherâs concerns, but only if theyâre productive, âWell how did you know Jason was being genuine?â
Heather's boyfriend. Track and basketball star, high class social asshole. Chrissys has never been a fan, to be entirely honest. Her earliest memories of Jason Carver were of him shoving over smaller kids in their church group and treating every recess game as pro-level sports. She still doesnât see what Heather finds so charming about him.
She hopes maybe heâd changed, assumes heâd have had to to win over a critical heart like the one guarded in Heatherâs chest.
Oh but Heather gives no such benefit of the doubt to anybody else, âI /donât/ know it. But /my/ boyfriend doesnât run over innocent children in his free time.. or whatever the hell it is Billy Hargrove gets up to.â
Chrissy has to laugh at that, it's so absurd, âOh- He does not! Billyâs /nice./â
âProve it.â Heather challenges, popping a gum bubble between her teeth to assert her seriousness.
âHetty.â Chrissy warns, uninterested in playing that game.
Her friend isnât having it. Heather rolls her brown eyes with so much force she literally rolls over on the bed, sprawling out over top of Chrissy like a beloved golden retriever with no respect for sharing space. Itâs always been comfortable with her, coexisting without regard to self consciousness and mothers opinions and Godly image. Probably why she lets Heather get away with being a little catty sometimes.
Like now, as she claims, âOh come on. Make it a game, have some fun, but show me heâs genuine. Or else Iâm kicking his ass.â
âFine.â Chrissy wants to be stern, but she cracks a little smile, her real, bright one, âIf I'm supposed to threaten to kick Jasonâs butt, I donât think Iâd be able to.â
Heather hums in thought before presenting a solution, âIâll do the âdefending of our honorâ if you help me test Jay back.â
âPinky promise youâll be nicer to Billy once we get proof?â
âThatâs /if/ we get proof, but you have my word.â
The deal is sealed. They lock pinky fingers, one soft pink nailed and one a flaming red shade. In the ten years theyâd been friends since Heather joined their class in 1st grade, not a single pinky promise between them has been broken. It just isnât done.
Admittedly, thatâs a lot of pressure. Talking about cute boys doesnât feel as fun anymore.
Chrissyâs fluttery feelings start to set in, fidgeting with her hands to hope to drive them off. If she had her bracelets on, sheâd shake them and enjoy the way they ring from the hard plastics and metals banging together, but itâs late, sheâs in her pjs without jewelry. She picks her nails instead.
Redirecting, Heather hands her a stuffed Winnie the Pooh, and asks a question she knows will catch her off guard, âSoooo. What are you gonna do?â
âHetty, I havenât had time to think!â Chrissy complains, squishing poor Pooh between her hands, choosing to abuse the stuffed toy with her anxiety instead of her own skin.
âOh come on. What do boys care about? Cars, sex, and sports. Pick one and heâll show his true colors.â Heather says it likes itâs all just so easy, and she already knows it all.
Chrissy isnât as sure. She considers her options,
âUm, sports sounds the least dangerous.. maybe?â
âUntil he tackles your little ass.â Heather points out.
Thereâs a moment where they both sort of stop moving. They both know what Heather is about to do, but Chrissy's defenses are useless to stop it. She scrunches her body up as tiny as can be, but Heather has pounced, poking her sides gently where she knows her friend is ticklish.
Chrissy used to get all self conscious when Heather would do things like that. Not just touching her skin, so close to where she feels her strongest insecurities, but even jokes, little digs that had nothing to do with Chrissyâs appearance would get her down.
They have Billy to thank for the change. Dating or not, William Hargrove isnât one to hide his affections. Everyone knows heâs had a thing for Chrissy for a while. Itâs deciphering whether heâs chasing tail, or chasing the sweet girl heâd shown enough interest in to replenish her view of herself, hung around and flirted and laughed with so freely it healed a part of her broken heart.
She thinks maybe repaying him a little would increase the chances of getting the ball rolling, and getting Heatherâs trust. âWhat if I cheer special for him during one of his games?â
âUh, no!â Heather shakes her head, rolled curls bouncing in their pillow curlers back and forth, âThat just makes /you/ public about it. And he can spin that if heâs being an ass for real.â
âBut I donât think-â Chrissy starts to argue, brow knotted.
Heather holds one of her hands, showing she is doing this because she cares, even if sheâs being a little harsh, âHoney, I know Iâm a cynical bitch, but I donât want to see you hurt. Save yourself the embarrassment.â
âI donât- Heather, itâs not embarrassing to be in love!â
A gasp, slow realization dawning. âYouâre right. Oh my god, Chrissy youâre so right!!â
Heather kicks her legs with glee, fuzzy slippers going flying. Right out of a movie, she squeals with delight, infecting Chrissy too with her sudden joy.
Chrissy giggles, going along with it, âI am?â
âUh, yes! Itâs perfect!â Heather scoots closer until theyâre shoulder to shoulder, looking up at the ceiling together. She talks with her hands, like sheâs painting the picture for her. âDonât /cheer/ his name. /Wear/ it.â
Only, Chrissy doesnât think she gets it, â...How?â
âHis varsity jacket! If a boy gives you his varsity jacket, itâs serious business. They protect those damn things like a firstborn daughter. If you can get Billy to give you his jacket, you might as well be hitched!â Heather explains, a ball of enthusiasm.
Chrissy knows her longing heart starts racing, probably obvious to Heather too this close together, âYou actually think that would work?â
Heather flips up so sheâs sitting, burning some of her energy in her dramatic motions, âDuh! You show up to a game repping his varsity, baby, that deal is sealed. Iâm talking a proposal at the end-zone. A wedding between quarters. Iâm talkinâ baby-making under the bleachers-â
Chrissy, face as hot pink as her pj tank top, interrupts all that, âOkay! Okay. Thatâs⊠I get it.â
âDo I make you blush, fair lady?â Heather drawls, in an impression of a boy, eyebrow arched, chest puffed out, lips curled, her voiced dropped ridiculously deep-
Chrissy covers her face, trying desperately not to laugh at the ridiculous attempt, âHeatherrr!!â
Heather clutches her chest like sheâs wounded, taking on a sort of accent almost from how badly sheâs doing her impression, âAh! My apologies, maiden. How ungentlemanly of me.â
âNobody talks like that! /Billy/ doesnât talk like that!!â Chrissy argues, though she giggles at the unseriousness of it all. So it took a while, but Heather always does know how to make her feel better.
They drop the boy talk for a while, choosing to sneak downstairs and grab some snacks at two in the morning once Heatherâs parents were definitely asleep, coming back up with a strange homemade trail mix. Dark chocolate chips, raisins, pretzels, almonds and strawberries. Certainly nothing outside of Chrissyâs comfort zone, careful not to push the limits of her recovery, though itâll probably give them both a stomachache in a few hours regardless.
Leaned against some bean bag chairs right under the open window, enjoying the birdsong and cricket chirps, they share their homemade creation, and better, more smiles and lighthearted stories. Like they used to, before highschool drama and all.
Nearing 4, Heather turns to her, uncharacteristically dead serious, and declares, âI hope he makes you this happy.â
The realness inspires Chrissy to do the prying now, switching roles, hoping her friend will open up to her in kind, âDoes Jason make you happy?â
â/Jason/ does. Our parents practically arranging for us to be married from the time we were newborns, hm not so much.â Heather sighs, drawing her knees in. She doesnât quite shut down, itâs more for comfort, self assurance, which Chrissy understands. She gives her space to collect her thoughts.
âHeâs my guy best friend. And I love him. In more than the best friend way. Itâd be stupid not to end up together. But god thereâs so much pressure!â
âI think you should do the jacket thing too.â Chrissy offers carefully, âIâm doing it to prove /my/ date isnât a one-hit creep. You can do it just to remind yourself why you love your boy. And that he loves you. âCause I know he does, Heather. But I know youâre afraid he doesnât.â
Heather has tears in her eyes and a sad smile when she looks at Chrissy, âWhat is with you quiet girls and secretly being psychics?â
Oh how Chrissy wished she truly were a psychic.
At the beginning, she wasnât nervous at all. Her and Heather bullshitted all the time, it wasnât anything serious. But theyâre all four on a date, wandering downtown around the various second hand stores, a typical stop for one couple, and the complete opposite for the others.
Seemed as good a time as any to go through with their silly plan, it wasnât like it would hurt anything. Except sheâd tried all kinds of things to get Billy to give her his jacket, and so far, none of them worked even a little! Not browsing through a selection of jackets at the stores, not shivering dramatically, not clinging to his side either.
Chrissy felt a chip in her little heart every time, feeling like maybe Heather was right. All over a jacket. Sheâd have her heart broken for a little bit of wool and leather.
With her boyfriend's name on it. Her boyfriend who actually holds her hand, and tells her sheâs pretty, and doesnât creep his hands under his skirt constantly.
She doesnât know if she could get over losing that.
Her gait down the strip is admittedly less spirited, lingering behind Heather and Jay, but Billy never leaves her behind. He engages her in conversation too, hair blowing all over the place around his face, âHow the fuck do you go outside in this shit?â
Chrissy looks at him, wearing an amused little smile, âLike, ever?â
âYeah /ever/, Princess.â Billy sarcastically, but lightheartedly bumps her shoulder lightly with his arm, âJesus, I should take you to California. Gonna miss winters without tiny fucking knives falling from the sky.â
Heather doesnât lose track of that comment for a minute. Excited for Chrissy, she tries to plant the seed for their plan,
âWhatâs the matter, Billy? You too cold?â
âHell no. But Iâm not a chick the size of a baby deer.â Billy remarks, taking the bait perfectly well, rubbing Chrissyâs arms and feeling how cold she is, âShit, youâre fucking frozen, Chris. Here.â
And without even thinking he peels off his varsity jacket and starts to hand it over.
Used to the cold, and despite her excitement wanting to make sure Billy doesnât get uncomfortable, Chrissy protests, âNo, no, no. Keep it. I canât let your California sunshine freeze over.â
Billy disregards that, slinging it over her shoulders anyways, âYeah, well Iâm not letting all the fuckinâ little pixies that fly around your head freeze to death either.â
Jason scoffs at him, turning around to walk backwards with the group, teasing, âDude, what does that even mean?â
Without even looking Heather flicks his ear, getting his attention back, âJust because you donât understand romance doesnât mean nobody can.â
He looks at her like a kicked puppy, but Jason is nothing if not stubborn, âPixies? Sunshine? What happened to- beautiful and charming and butterflies in the stomach?â
âI donât know, Jason. Maybe you should fall in love again and find out.â
âWho would I fall in love with? Nobody can beat you, Holloway.â
Heather rolls her eyes, flicking her hair like an agitated horse would itâs tail, âAh, see you almost got a couple points there. Almost. Youâre in the negatives though for using my last name.â
He tries to recover it suavely, âI could call you Carver instead?â
But that isnât Heather's way. She counters intensely, âNo. Iâm not being a child bride, thank you very much. Besides, who says Iâm taking your name? Maybe I could call you Holloway.â
âThe.. I- Okay.â Jason just sputters, turning pink up to his ears.
Behind them, still lingering a good ways back, Chrissy hums, warm and cozy in her boyfriendâs jacket, âWhat are they even arguing about?â
Billy laughs about that, shrugs his shoulders, âHell if I know. They lost me a long time ago.â
âItâs funny. Heather didnât think you were good for me, but she fights with Jason all the time.â Chrissy informs him.
Billy stops dead in his tracks. Gently uses his hold on Chrissy's hand to spin her around to face him as he fell behind,
âHold on. Take a step back. Heather thinks /what/ about me?â
Chrissyâs nerves spike so quickly she gets a little dizzy, âPlease don't take it personally. I want my two favorite people to like each other. Please.â
Her beau steadies her, instead of freaking out, âNo problem. I just find it.. fuckinâ weird.â
âItâs because of the way you drive. And smoke. And act. She thinks itâs bad for me.â Chrissy blurts, knowing itâs unkind but needing him to believe that she had no part in it.
He doesnât seem too phased by having Heatherâs disapproval, apparently learning faster than most people do, âBig fucking deal. At least you know I love you, right?â
âMhm.â Chrissy nods her assurance, standing on her tiptoes to kiss Billyâs cheek and seal the promise.
âRight. Tell her sheâs the one making Jason cry his damn eyes out the second he gets tipsy on a sip of anything stronger than a fuckinâ soda pop. Iâm tellinâ you, Holloway has ripped out his heart and shoved it up his own pansy ass.â Billy sounds bitter, but not overly mean.
Itâs something heâs thought about before. Good to know the gossip street goes both ways.
Itâs why Chrissy doesnât feel too bad telling Billy now, âShe doesnât mean to. I think sheâs scared.â
âSacred of Carver?âŠ. He hurt her?â His voice drops, as angry and mean as Heather warned her about.
They donât talk much about serious things, serious isnât their kind of fun, but Chrissy knows about Billyâs life at home. About the type of man Billy couldâve been destined to be.
She rushes to make sure he doesnât turn on his own friend for thinking Jason was the same way, âOh no! No, not at all. Never. Itâs her mom and her daddy. They sort of forced her to date Jason. She wasnât ready. I think sheâs ready now and doesnât want to admit it. âCause that would be like taking their orders.â
âFuckinâ parents.â Billy eventually grumbles, not knowing what else to say.
It seems to be a common theme in their group. A bonding experience for all four of them, whether or not theyâre open about it.
Chrissy doesnât really feel like talking about that stuff anymore, sort of just mumbling, âYeah.â
Because Billy is perfect, and none of the things Heather says at all, and the actual bullies in their lives makes her want to just hide. Billy notices the drop in her mood, and silently slings an arm around her waist, pulling her into his side as they walk. Keeping her close. Safe.
Maybe someday things will work out beyond Hawkins. They have to. Winning the jacket was a silly, small victory, but it was a step.
Now Chrissy just wants, more than anything, her friends to be happy.
She holds onto Billyâs hand a little tighter.
The next time Heather and Jason get together, itâs for a study date at the end of that week. With Heather being a year above, the only class they have in common is the Biology two class Heather failed last year. Thereâs coloring sheets of bones and cells to be completed, so itâs not like they need each otherâs help, but sitting on Heatherâs bed coloring with colored pencils didnât seem like a bad deal either way.
At some point, surrounded by all the color, Heather realizes something,
âHoney. Weâre going shopping this weekend.â
Jason barely looks up from his work, focused on being neat close to the lines, âFor?â
âClothes. Youâve worn three white polos this week. Iâm bringing some color into your life.â Heather pokes him with the flat end of the white pencil for emphasis.
Jason blinks, caught off his guard, âI wear green sometimes.â
âSchool colors donât count. Yellow either.â
âI think I have, maybe, /one/ blue shirt.â
Heather digs in the pile for a turquoise-ish pencil, âBlue! Blueâs.. good! Thatâs definitely on Godâs rainbow. Maybe a nice pair of blue jeans too, for once-â
Thatâs where Jason cuts it off. Because thatâs where Heather went from playfully sharp to flat-out insulting, âHeather, please.â
She stays on the defensive, âIâm just saying. Thereâs nothing wrong with branching out from your choir boy uniform. Thatâs all.â
Sometimes itâs like she thinks if she pokes a bruise enough, itâll make her seem like sheâs strong enough to cause them. Like sheâs all in charge and nothing can stop her.
Jason doesnât want to stop her, he just wants her basic respect, âSo what do you suggest?â
Not even sarcastic, just genuinely enthusiastic to share, Heather starts, âPastels! Your hair is way too strawberry to be a dark dresser. Unless you go with emeralds, no more tacky green. Ooh, or even if you grow it out some! You know, actually-â
Jason runs his fingers over his neatly parted hair, protecting it, not hiding the concerned squeak to his voice, âNo thank you, I happen to like my hair short.â
âAgain, baby. Boring.â Heather just rolls her eyes, once again. Sometimes itâs like thatâs all she knows how to do.
It stings.
âLook, if nothing I do is ever going to be good enough-â
Heather doesn't entertain that in the least. She slaps her hand over his homework page, making him look at her, âItâs not /you/. You know that itâs not you.â
No, he didnât know that. Jason looks at her, confused, âWhat?â
âJust because you dress yourself, and you drive your stupid little station wagon around parading your image, doesnât mean thereâs not that voice in the back of your head. Maybe⊠maybe a tight fist too. Telling you what to do. Youâre afraid.â Heather talks with her hands, just enough that Jason can see through it.
That sheâs being showy to hide something.
Doesnât mean heâs not been rendered self conscious and bare-souled all the same. He doesnât like that, even after months with Heather not feeling safe showing her all his tender parts like that, âI donât want to hear this from you.â
âOh, so a girl canât have opinions, huh? I should just spread my legs now and let something else do all the talking?â Heather heats the argument.
Jason just lets his head fall back, frustrated, âI donât- You /know/ I donât want that.â
âOh please do enlighten me then, your graciousness.â Heather forces what Jason is thinking out of him.
So he lets it go, without regard to her feelings, even though he hadnât wanted to, âLook, Iâm not stupid. I know your parents are a problem, Heather. Everyone thatâs read the paper knows Tom Holloway isnât a kind man. You try to hide it, but you canât keep it from me. And you canât- just take it all out on me!â
âI wasnât-â Heather tries to backpedal.
He still doesnât let her, âYou were! You always have! Nobody has the key to the lock on your heart, but Iâve been trying anyways. And you just shut. me. down!â
âJasonâŠâ
âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry we didnât meet for real until high school. Iâm sorry I canât save you because Iâve got my own.. shit to deal with. But, and forgive me for using His name in vain, Jesus fucking Christ Heather!â
âJason..â Heather repeats, clearly more misty eyed than before, and opens her arms. A hug is letting him in physically, letting him get close even when the words arenât easy.
Mostly, she hadnât realized Jason could read her as easily as she could read him.
He takes the vulnerability to mean itâs safe to say, âI love you.â
âI know.â Is Heatherâs response. Itâs not easy to say it back, not when she chokes on it every time she tries to say it to her âproblems,â let alone a highschool boyfriend she was never supposed to fall for, not in her own heart.
Itâs enough. Jason keeps holding her, lips against her shoulder, âIâm sorry.â
Heather repeats herself, âI know.â
Nothing else felt right to say. Because she /was/ sorry too, but saying it second would feel ingenuine. At least, sheâd read it that way.
She closes her eyes and feels exhausted. Itâs not supposed to be this hard. Their school years are drawing to a close, and yet she canât even admit her own parents treat her like shit.
Maybe a silent tear drop or two drips off the end of her nose behind Jasonâs back. If he noticed, he didnât say a word.
After a while, Heather needs to do something, sitting and thinking and regretting not doing anything to help, âCan we call Chrissy and Billy and go get some ice cream or something?â
âSure. I think I owe that to you for keeping myself so.. alone.â Jason admits, bashful but genuine.
And isnât that just the thing. Heather gives him a tiny smile back, âDitto, baby.â
Ice cream ran into the evening, all of them itching for an excuse to stay out. Chrissy was the last to finish her bowl of two raspberry scoops with sprinkles, half of it melted into sludge by the last spoonful, and even thatâs not a distraction enough.
Itâs early spring, which means, as the group informed Billy, that the Hawkins drive-in theater was opening back up. Nobody even needed to discuss it to know thatâs what they wanted to do. There were a variety of chick-flicks and even more horror sequels in the box office, which meant the two week delay at the drive-in would make for some good choices at least. Most Hawkins residents would take their trucks out there, not some prissy little station wagon, but it would do.
At least, it should, but Billy started getting impatient with cruising along under the speed limit out to the wooded hill where the drive-in is, âCanât this piece of shit go faster?â
Heather turned around slightly to face and scold him, âWell, we coulda brought yours if you hadnât decided to buy the extra tiny, no room for fun model.â
Billy just snorted humorlessly, âWe could fit if there was any actual fun going on. Leaving room for the Lord or whatever is what fucks it up.â
For that comment, knowing their company, Chrissy pushed Billyâs arm gently. Still, she didnât seem to disagree too harshly, since she smiled through when he kissed her next.
Heather seemed irritated, though that tends to be her default honestly, as she huffed, âNot everyoneâs a sleaze like you, Hargrove. Get used to it.â
Billy hadnât even justified it with a response, just waved her off and used the same arm to swing it over the seat behind Chrissy. She was wearing his jacket again, hadnât taken it off all week, curled into his side and wearing his name. In that bubbly way she does, she was also wiggling her hands about, not nervous, but happy.
Content.
Heather and Jason still had a ways to go to reach contentment.
The pair stay in the car for the movie, their counterparts in a blanket on the grass instead. Cali boy is out there freezing his ass off, but heâd said anything would be better than being trapped with relationship drama.
Heather and Jason try to ignore him.
They fail.
Jason turns to her not even a full twenty minutes after that comment starts working itâs way under his skin, âHeather?â
âHm?â She hums to show sheâs listening, but doesnât look his way.
Thatâs not enough for what needs to be said, so he repeats, âHeather.â
âYeah, thatâs me. You need something?â
âI wanted- I justâŠ. Iâm sorry.â
Her pretty features screw up in confusion, âFor what?â
âFor not being good enough.â Jason informs, like it was the most clear thing, âYouâd be happier with a guy like Billy. Maybe you could call up Steve-â
âNo, fuck you if you think I could ever leave you.â She spits.
And then she grabs Jason by the collar of his polo and kisses him.
Itâs nothing chaste, nothing at all like their usual peck of the lips. This is roaming tongues and hands.
Heather reigns herself in when she feels Jasonâs hands, holding her hips up under the back of her shirt, shaking.
âIâm not gonna make you do anything. Sex isnât my endgame.â
He sort of freezes, like it hadnât occurred to him that Heather wouldnât mind helping him in his devotion to modesty, âSo what is?â
âAn apartment. Maybe get a cat. I want to share a space with you long before we do marriage shit.â Heather explains lightly, smile on her face.
Jason relaxes his shoulders, âMake it a dog and weâll see. Dogs are better.â
âOh, ha-ha. Make it one of each and Iâll forgive you for that comment.â
Heather kisses him again, without any heat or intensity this time, just gentle, soft affection. She even lets him touch her hair, despite usually slapping his hands away for that. It helps that sheâd brushed it out to be restyled before bed tonight, but still, she would have let him even if her curls were laying perfect.
When they pull away, Heather lays her head on Jasonâs shoulder. Instead of watching Catâs Eye on the screen, her gaze falls to their friends huddled up outside, and she muses, âHow much you wanna bet Chrissy and Billy run away into the sunset?â
âI hope they do. Hawkins is Hell on earth.â Jason asserts, clearly serious because he usually wouldnât even mention a place like that.
Heather sighs slightly, âLiterally. The kidnappings, the murders. I canât take much more of it.â
Confident, Jason says, âIâm sure theyâd make room for us then. If we wanted to go with them.â
That has Heather sitting up straighter, surprised, âYou would live in California?â
Sunny skies, living free- it didnât seem very much his pace. The order and the mundanity of Midwestern life seemed better for Jason.
He just shrugs for now, âWho knows? Weâll see when we get there.â
âAnd youâre okay with that?â Heather wonders aloud, as she knows it, finding that Jason prefers to have his entire life planned out.
He only sounds a little tense as he tries to sound brave and strong, âGetting there.â
The tension between them had to have been coming from there. She wanted nothing more than to rebel and escape, while he, even when he was feeling crushed by the weight of parental disapproval, was nothing short of desperate to be back in their graces.
If Heather could be more open to discussion when that made her uncomfortable, and Jason less complicit to begin with, the pair would probably be on the right path again.
She lays her head on him again, and this time, Jason takes his arm out of one sleeve of his varsity jacket, slinging it around her like a blanket. Her heart absolutely soars. The promise to Chrissy was fulfilled, she and her honey were working out just fine now, after sheâd gotten Billyâs jacket.
Thatâs gotta be a sign that things will work out for Heather too.
âHey, Jason?â
âHm?â
She feels compelled to finally confess, âI love you.â
Itâs Jason this time who, after a soft little kiss to her forehead, says, âI know.â