Me: *slaps you on the ass with a stretchy hand as I heely past you drinking a cherry cola slushie in the back part of a Ross at 2 am on a Thursday. The speakers in the store play Toxic by Britney Spears but only from the other end of the store because the speakers in the back stopped working when I flicked a dolphin silly bandz into the system and broke it. We make eye contact through my hello kitty sunglasses and you exhale a long breath, finally at peace. Mothman is there*













