#stranger au

“Hey, I’m here. I made it I’m a little late but I’m here.” Natasha audibly sighs in relief to know that you’re still here and that she wasn’t too late. When the conversation was brought up about the parent teacher conference it was Natasha who suggested that you both go together, better yet that you both drive there together as well. Since that night you two have been on better terms than ever. There was no clear tension or petty bickering from either of you, just making plans for Jordyn and sticking to those plans. Natasha has been holding up on her end more consistently than before. 

A clear change in her behavior. As she approached the stairs all you could do was study her. You might not be an agent anymore, but your senses are still very much active. The first thing you notice is that she’s out of breath not very visible to the normal eye but to you, you could always tell when she wasn’t one hundred percent herself. You know it’s not from her short run from the car. The next thing you notice is the slight panting and the tight clench in her jaw. You inspect her silently as she shifts under your gaze. You see her slightly clutching her rib cage. 

“You’re hurt.” She’s ready to dismiss your accusations. “Don’t lie to me I can clearly see you’re hurt.” You sigh, opening the door wider. “Get your ass in here.” 

“I’m fine.” You pull her to the bathroom downstairs ignoring her false claims of her wellbeing. You make quick work of getting her inside the bathroom not wanting to alert Jordy of her mama’s presence yet before you check out the damage. Not until you fully assess the situation. You instruct her to sit on the end of the toilet seat while you grab the first aid kit you might not be an agent anymore, but you still know how to address wounds, you had a six-year-old after all. 

“Lift your shirt up.” 

You see shock before you see her devious smile. She’s waited so long to hear those words again. She was hoping it would be under different circumstances, but she won’t complain. Natasha also wouldn’t be able to pass up this moment without teasing you about it. “Take me on a date first.” You were losing your patience and the moment she plastered that smirk on her face you had to show her you weren’t in a playing mood. You pinch her arm in retaliation. “Ouch!” She yells from the pain and soothingly rubs her arm. 

“I’m not playing with you, take the shirt off before I do it for you.” She knows it’s bad and once you see the full damage you were gonna scold her even more. She made it all the way here with that gash on her stomach? You hover your hand over the open wound noticing the bruises littered in the other areas. She stares up at you just waiting for you to yell at her or something, but you never do. When you snap out of the trance you quickly turn to the first aid kit to distract you. To stop the tears from potentially falling from your eyes. 

“Are you mad at me?” She searches for your eyes, but you don’t give in. Focused on treating her wounds. With how fast her heart was beating out of her chest right now she swears you can hear it loud and clear as you apply ointment and antiseptic wipes to her cuts and bruises. The way you crouched down in front of her stomach made it hard to be upset with her. Just being up close and personal with her toned body again brings back memories that you thought you buried a long time ago. Natasha doesn’t like the silence. She hated the silent treatment; she would do anything to get you to speak again. She had no shame in annoying you to hear you voice again. “Can you say something please?” She bites her lip patiently waiting for you to give her a piece of your mind, yell at her, anything.

“How could you be so reckless?” You say the words the same time as you apply unneeded pressure to her wound. She hisses in pain and doesn’t even have time to respond to you when you immediately ask another question. “Why didn’t you get this treated before coming here Nat?” 

“Yes! I’m fucking mad at you.” And you end your second rambling question by finally answer her initial question. Once again with a little more force as you treat her wounds properly.

“I couldn’t be late! Okay? I needed to be here. No matter what.” She searches for eye contact that you don’t seem to be willing to give her right now. 

“So, you were just gonna walk around like this?” The utter disbelief on your face has Natasha knowing she was definitely in the wrong, but she wishes you weren’t so observant. She wishes she hid it better. She wishes on her worst days you were there waiting for her, so that your hands were the only hands to patch her up and treat her wounds. 

“If it meant me being there for my daughter than yes! I was” Something about it was poetic in a twisted way, she would rather be in pain than to upset her daughter. She would rather bleed out than to disappoint you both even more than she has in the past. “Do you not understand how reckless that was? there will be other parent teacher conferences Natasha!” The deep pinch in your brow and the way your nostrils flared out Natasha knew it was time to take responsibility. Her reason was valid, but she wasn’t thinking about the outcome of her decision. Like she said she’s been in far worse condition she didn’t think it was a big deal apart from her bruising and her cuts she only ripped a stitch. 

“Hey, I- just wanted to be here.” She cups your face in her hands and slowly rubs your soft cheeks. Her eyes unmoving from yours. she sees the hurt in them, and she wants to chant her new apologies to you. part of her grows excited and anxious at the fact that you care this much about her wellbeing still. in the past she swears you wouldn’t have batted an eye at her injuries, but she can’t blame you. She couldn’t blame you for hating her, but if she’s correct right now with how she’s feeling and just feeding off of your energy, you care. You still care for her after everything. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I just wanted to make it here on time. I didn’t want to disappoint you both.”

“It was okay to be late or to miss this one we would’ve understood.” Natasha removes her hands from the sides of your face and visible displays guilt and regret for her actions today. “I’ve missed so much already; I just didn’t want to miss this milestone. The teachers know me as an Avenger, but they don’t know me as Jordyn’s mom. I wanted that connection to the other parents, I want to .” You can’t fault her for that, at least not anymore. The accords royally fucked up a lot of peoples live yours being one of them. Natasha was on the run for months and barely had contact with Jordyn. She regrets it, you can tell she regrets it every day. There is a soft deflated sigh and a brief pause before you speak again. “Just...don’t do that again.” You tilt her head up and slowly wipe her tears away. Just to show her you understood where she was coming from, but you don’t appreciate what she did. You don’t miss the small flash of hope in her eyes as you forgive her for not putting her health and wellbeing first. That was understandable unlike the other excuses she’s given in the past. She perks up nods her head slowly in understanding all the while keeping a heavy focus on your face. Her hand slides on top of yours that’s rests against her soft skin. Natasha shows a brief sign of hesitation on pulling you into her and slamming her lips on yours. She’s been craving you since that moment you two had outside the compound at game night.

The sound of your phone going off interrupts the soft moment. You instantly recognize the ringtone, but you ignore it, anyway, treating the cuts and bruises were more important to you right now. Natasha was more important to you right now. The fact that you chose to ignore your phone alerted Natasha’s curiosity, you always check your phone even if it was an excuse to avoid the tension between you two, you’d take the call. “Why is she still calling you?” 

“Do you want me to step in? because if she’s harassing you about breaking up I can-” you hold your hand up for her to stop talking. You weren’t being harassed; in fact, this was the first time Skylar has reached out since that big fight in the kitchen. Perfect timing you guess. “She’s not harassing me Nat.” 

“Then why is she calling you?” The worst scenarios can’t help but to run though her mind at you brief silence. It was only a few seconds but to her it felt like a century the longer she waited for you to ease her mind and reassure her that you weren’t going back to the woman that tried to take her daughter away from her. The same woman that called her unfit. The same woman that called her a monster. “She wants to talk, I guess.” You shrug your shoulder nonchalantly as you fumble with the rest of the materials from the first aid kit.

“And you’re considering it? After what she did?” 

“Nat” 

“No! How can you even give her another chance after. How could even want to talk with her after you saw how long it took me to get up from that kitchen floor?” You’re not surprised about how angry Natasha is she has that right to be angry at Skylar but not at you. 

“We’re not going to act like you’re so innocent Natasha, you’ve said slick, under handed things as well. That night it was a lot happening and things just went left.” You haven’t even brought up the idea of fixing things with Skylar. Just because things went left with Skylar doesn’t mean you were giving Nat another chance. She looks away for a brief moment. You had a point there was no reason to deny it. You knew it, she knew it, hell even Jordy could see the tension and animosity her mother had towards Skylar. It was a reason why you were stalling about that date Natasha asked for, you didn’t know if you could honestly open your heart up again to her. “We’re not together Natasha. You need to remember that.” 

“Right.” She doesn’t say anything else as she stands up and prepares herself to move away from you in the small bathroom. “Nat, what are you doing? I’m not done stitching you up yet.” You quickly stand up and halt her from moving any further through the room. You didn’t want to fight today; you didn’t want to fight at all, but you would never let her walk around wounded like she was attempting to do earlier.

“I can finish it; don’t worry about it I’ve been in worser condition than this before.” Now it was your turn to be angry and upset with her. This was petty and childish. Natasha had a pattern of being stubborn, just because something didn’t go her way she shut down and shut you out. This whole situation feels too familiar. It feels like the main problem that broke you in your marriage coming back again like a full circle. As you stand behind her in awe and anger, your phone buzzes again. To no one’s surprise its Skylar’s Name that pops up on your screen again. Natasha doesn’t make an effort to hide her displeasure. You on the other hand ignore the buzzing phone and focus back on Natasha and her struggle to finish the last stitch. “Here, just let me help.” You take a few steps forward as Natasha stands in front of the mirror by the sink. She immediately counters by stepping back. 

“I said I got it.” As she swats your prying hands away from her wounds he grunts in return from the soreness and pain. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The panic in your voice wasn’t subtle at all. The thought of her disappearing again for months scares you. it scares you for your daughter upstairs.

“Nothing.” She ends her response by cutting the string as she finished her last stitch. She looks down at your abandoned phone on the counter. “You should probably worry about your girlfriend, right? seems like it’s important.” 

“What the fuck? Natasha, don’t be like that.” 

“Don’t be like what? hm, Y/n?” She raises a challenging eyebrow before taking advantage of your lack of words. “You’re considering making up with that bitch that suggested you take Jordy away from me! What does that say about you? The Y/n I knew would’ve never even entertained the idea of associating with someone that hurt me...Maybe you’re not the same person I knew.” 

“Yeah? well now you know how I felt in our marriage.” You spoke before you had the time to truly think about what you were saying. In all honesty you meant what you said however this only added more fuel to the fire. You don’t even know why you’re having this conversation right now; you haven’t said anything about fixing things with Skyler, you have a hunch that this isn’t totally about Sky trying to patch the communication with you and that it’s about you not giving Natasha a chance to move forward. Not giving her an answer about an official date. The look you both give each other clearly shows how much you both want to take back your words, but in the heat of the moment the hope of either of you saying an apology is out of the question. “You can’t you give me an answer, but you can potentially think about letting her back into your life?” 

“You’re an opportunist, you literally cornered me after the fight and guilt tripped me into even considering the date Natasha. Be serious for a minute.”

“How the hell did I guilt trip you?” 

“You used that moment of vulnerability to your advantage Natasha; I don’t even know if I can trust anything you’ve said about changing.” Part of you felt this way but you can’t deny that there is a lack of accountability on your part, you weren’t forced to say yes to her proposal.

“So not only am I an opportunist but I’m a liar now too, right?” Your mouth opens and snaps shut before you can even get a word out, she cuts you off with her words of venom. “What else have you been keeping in? I’ve never needed pity, not even from you. Seems like I’m not the only liar standing in this room. Do you think I’m unfit too? hm? Do you think the same thing as her? Come on you can say it, tell me the truth, I’d rather hear it from your lips than anybody else’s.” Natasha doesn’t give you a chance to speak, she doesn’t give you a chance to shoot down those thoughts she’s stabbing you with right now.

“You won’t have to worry about the date anymore, forget about it, let’s just get this parent-teacher thing over with.” You want to protest against that. You want to yell at her for jumping to conclusions in the first place. You want to tell her you need time to think about it longer. You want her to understand that you technically were still in a relationship with Skyler despite the lack of communication between you two, but your words come up empty and your pride won’t let you. Your silence was enough for Natasha to understand that this conversation was over. She wouldn’t be getting a date like she hoped. The little effort she’s made seems pointless as this encounter knocks her back to where she first started. A stranger.

“Mom, is it time to go yet? I’m ready” Jordy’s voice sounds throughout the hallway as she approaches downstairs. Natasha left the room just in time to get her emotions in check, it was a short moment but enough for her to put it on the back burner for her daughter. Jordyn goes wide eyed with the appearance of her mother standing there when she near around the corner wall. “Mama!” She runs fast on her heels and smashes into Natasha for a warm embrace. You on the other hand needed a bit more time to gather your emotions, you use the excuse of putting the first aid kit back and cleaning up a bit. “How come I didn’t know you were here?” Natasha picks Jordyn up slowly swaying back and forth. 

“Because I’m really good at being a ninja.” Natasha smirks at Jordy’s faltering smile. “I’m being serious mama!” Jordy whines with annoyance with the childish response from her mother. “Hmm that means you need to get better at those Romanoff senses.” Jordy groans already aware of what would come from her mother’s lips. “Until you work on that, I can’t take you on a mission with me.” She huffs her breath and slightly pouts. “Fine.” Natasha pecks her cheeks multiple times in an attempt to bring her toothy smile back that works in an instant. Natasha lowers Jordy back down to the floor which still doesn’t do anything from keeping close proximity to her. Jordyn focuses back on her original task in leaving for parent teacher night, she grabs Natasha’s hand excitedly and tugs on them eagerly. “Can we go now mama? please?”

You finally retreat from the bathroom just in time to see how hard it was for Natasha to hold in the pain she was experiencing right now. She blew up at you before you could even give her something to help with the pain. “Jordy, be easy on mama she’s a bit banged up today.” She nods her head and doesn’t raise any eye of concern since her mother looked fine and she saw no signs of major wounds. Jordyn slightly pulls Natasha’s hand leading her outside to the car. Jordyn’s voice laced with excitement as they leave out the door. “I can’t wait to show you everything I did at school!” The plan was still to drive in the same car to the school. Natasha didn’t want to near you so opted to sit in the back seat with Jordyn. You don’t know if you’re grateful for that or upset. Grateful for the prevention of any further conflicts but upset about the childish and petty action.

Even as you all enter the school, she doesn’t really acknowledge you, or so you think she doesn’t. Natasha sneaks a glance at you every so often but nothing too noticeable, she tries so hard to zero in on the teacher talking about Jordyn’s accomplishments and how well she’s doing in her classes, but the tension was too high. She wants to apologize to you. She wants to say sorry for blowing up at you and being so possessive even though she doesn’t have the right to anymore. She wants to take her words back and ask you to still consider giving her a date. She wants to tell you to never stop worrying about her; never stop caring about her and her wellbeing. As Natasha is being yanked around the classroom by Jordyn the teacher approaches you holding a paper. “What’s this” you curiously wonder as you take the familiar childhood paper into your hand. “The kids had an assignment to draw their favorite moment, and this was Jordyn’s favorite moment. I thought you’d want to see it.” she smiles softly at you as your eyes roam the vibrant colors on the paper. Jordyn drew the moment you all shared at the dinner table. The day you finally let Natasha stay for dinner, the cause of events that happened before that was unknown to the girl but this? This has changed your prospective on things, maybe you were being cruel to not give Natasha a chance to fix what she broke. Seeing the effects of having the both of you in the same setting, getting along, with no fighting, arguments and no Skyler gave you a big push towards forgiveness. your mind also wondered to the thought, were you being selfish? your issues with Natasha keeping Jordyn from having better moments with both of her moms together? you shake that negative thought away as you’re brought back to the sounds and environment of the classroom. “I think you should let Jordyn show this to Natasha.” you smile as you hand back the construction paper to the teacher. She nods and walks towards them; you can briefly hear the excitement in Jordyn’s voice when it’s clear that she knows what paper her teacher is handing her. You need a moment to gather your thoughts.

When the parent teacher night is over Natasha ends up sitting in the front seat this time. You don’t show any emotions about it on the outside. You keep your eyes forward and only left the school parking lot once you heard the click of her seatbelt. You thought for sure that she’d sit in the back until you made it back home. Truth is Natasha wanted to be close to you even if she was still upset. She knows she blew things out of proportion but how could you blame her? how could you blame her after the woman that was supposed to be a saint let those vile things leave her lips? How could you blame her after that kiss you two shared at game night? or what about that small but meaningful moment you two shared in the kitchen on the floor where you comforted her and reassured her about being a great mom? Natasha’s mind drifts back to the moment her eyes landed on the family picture that Jordyn drew. Tears almost brought to her eyes and how badly she wishes to have more of those moment just so Jordyn can create more of these pictures. Natasha would be sure to hang up every single one in her room at the compound, in her training gym, in her small section on the quinjet, hell she’d probably turn them into stickers as well. Natasha’s mind is racing with these thoughts and it’s the sound of your voice that brings her back from going deeper into the rabbit hole. 

“How about we stop and get some ice cream since we have a mini genius in the car right now?” You say as you watch Jordy from the rear mirror. “What do you think goober should mommy stop and get ice cream since I’m a genius?” Jordy’s mouth drops with shock. “Hey! she was talking about me being the genius.” Natasha turns in her seat to look at the excited six-year-old. “Oh, you’re right my mistake Einstein.” Natasha throws her hands up in mock surrender. You chuckle at the interaction and the atmosphere of the car has changed to a lighter mood, but you two still avoid maintaining eye contact like the plague. 

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Getting ice cream felt awkward, the tension only you and her know about was nonexistent to others around you. “What flavor do you want Jordy?” Natasha waits expectingly but truth be told you both knew her answer before she even said it out loud. “Double chocolate fudge.” She jumps with excitement while responding, something you note as the pre-hyper jitters, lucky you. The worker scoops the chocolate ice cream and hand Jordyn her cone. she carefully walks over to the empty booth and eats her ice cream. “What flavor would you like?” the worker asks you. “I’ll have-” The words die on your tongue as Natasha blurts the words out for you, she didn’t do it intentionally her brain was just on autopilot. She knows everything about you down to the smallest detail, even when she’s mad at you she can’t seem to stop herself from wanting to be involved with you in some way. 

She clears her throat and Shys away from your soft gaze. “I’ll have a Strawberry cone.” The worker gets started on both cones and hands them to both of you. when it’s time to pay for the cones, you reach in your pocket first, but Natasha stops you. “Don’t, I’ll get it.” She pulls her wallet out and before you can challenge her the worker tells you both that the cones are on the house. “On the house?” 

“Yeah, You’re an avenger.” Natasha didn’t normally like when people used that line on her but right now, she didn’t have any more fight left in her to argue and it settled the potential argument between you two about paying for the cones. You were waiting for her to stare him down until he accepted her money or something, but she simply sighs, puts her wallet in her pocket and says thank you before she walks over to the table with Jordyn. You stand there for a moment stunned before you join them at the booth. 

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Even as you pull back into the driveway of your house Natasha doesn’t say any of her usual starter conversations. She doesn’t even ask to stay for dinner. How can she stay near you any longer than she had to right now? The small moment of happy talkative six-year-old and soft served ice cream cones as a distraction wasn’t enough for her heart to be at ease, at least not today. You shot down her hope when she saw the name pop up on your phone screen. She felt betrayed and she knows she shouldn’t, but she still expected some sort of loyalty from you. She wants to go back home and head straight for the boxing bag and later the gun range and maybe after that she’ll spar with Sam. 

She needed to release this anger even with her minor injuries, no pain could be more impactful than losing you completely and her chance to be a family. As soon as you stop the car and turn off the engine Natasha gets out of the car and opens the back door for Jordyn. Natasha kneels in front of Jordyn as she sits in her car seat. “Hey, Goober, I have to head back to the compound now, and I’m sorry that I can’t stay for dinner tonight.” You spotted the lie instantly, but you can understand her reasoning for it. “It’s okay mama, I know you’re in pain.” Natasha was surprised, sure she knows Jordyn can pick up on things, but this was on a whole other level. Surely, she couldn’t have picked up on her mother’s emotion. “What?”  

“Mommy said you were a bit banged up today, remember?” A sigh of relief releases from her lips as Jordyn looks down at her. “Yeah, right.” Natasha holds her arms out and Jordyn practically leaps off of the seat and into her mother’s arms. “I love you and I’m so proud of you, keep up the great work, okay?” Jordyn pulls back from the embrace and nods her head in agreement. “I love you too mama.” Natasha places a kiss on her forehead as she pulls back from the hug and stands on her feet. she helps Jordy out of the car, closes the door and walks towards her car without sparring you a glance. “Goodnight, Y/n.” She doesn’t wait around for you to reply to her as she gets in her car and pulls off. You lead Jordyn to the front door and release a much-needed breath as you close the door behind you and work on getting dinner ready. “Goodnight, Red.”

 After settling Jordyn down from her sugar high and cleaning up the rest of dinner you stare blankly out the kitchen window. You’ve been distracted since the moment Natasha stepped through the front door hiding her evident display of pain. The familiar feeling of magnetic pull that sparked between you two before your phone rang, before things went left. Had that phone not rang your lips would’ve touched for the second time in years. You can’t decide if the interruption was a good thing or a bad thing at the moment, your mind is completely disheveled. Your phone rings and the name that pops up give you an immediate ick. Tony Stark. you roll your eyes and swiftly decline the call, you honestly thought you had the number blocked, after the whole sokovia accords you really weren’t too fond of Tony, Steve or the avengers in general even though Natasha made her own choices. The phone rings immediately after your denial but this time it answers before you even have time to decline it again. “What the hell?” you inspect the phone curiously, no way you had a bug on your phone you don’t even go anywhere. “That was very rude to hang up on me before even saying hello.” Tony’s arrogant and sarcastic voice sounds throughout your kitchen. its late, you’ve had a long day and the last things you want to be doing is talking to Tony Stark of all people. “What do you want Stark?” 

“Ah, straight to the point I guess, I’m having a nice party this weekend and I thought I’d personally invite you.”

 “No, thank you.” You were keeping your ground, you forgot how persistent the billionaire could be and you did not miss it at all.

“Wait, hold on just come hang out, catch up with a few people you don’t have to stay long.” Truth be Told Tony was doing this for Natasha, after seeing her today he had to come up with something to get you two in the same room together. away from your normal settings and in a new environment. you bite your tongue hard, what’s makes him think that you want to catch up with any of them? things turned out great for everyone else that was not a part of the avengers. Coulson died, Jordan died, Ward was a trader, and your marriage died. “Look Tony I-” your words fall short when he mumbles the word, he whispered it so soft that you almost missed it. “Please.” You’ve never heard him say that word for as long as you had surveillance on him when you were an agent at shield.

“Fine, Stark. I’ll show up to the party as long as you bring out the good stuff none of that watered down fancy shit.” he chuckles on the other end of the phone; he was expecting you to curse him out for not leaving you alone after you already said no. “You got it, party starts at nine.” after you both hang up Tony drops his phone and rubs his temples. he looks up from his desk with a blank expression. “I didn’t my part, but you better make damn sure this doesn’t go horribly wrong Wilson, this was your idea. I don’t need Two angry Russians and an ex-shield agent on my ass, I’m getting too old for this.”

The intentions didn’t start out that way though, you just wanted to have your regular movie night with Natasha in your room somehow that led to cuddles. which then led to kissing. You missed each other too much for just the regular quick pecks you two were used to sharing. These kisses had much more meaning behind them, they had purpose.

 “Wait, wait” Natasha says from under you. the feeling of your hands nearing her breasts had her panicking for a moment. she needed reassurance.

“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” you quickly pull away from her.

“No, no I just-“

You waited for her to find her words not wanting to make her feel pressured by anything.

“This is just a little weird to me or unfamiliar I should say.”

“Oh-” you swallow nervously. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel-” she cuts you off before you can continue.

“No, not that it’s just I’ve never been intimate in that way with anyone. there wasn’t a need for it, you know?” she says while avoiding eye contact. anything Natasha shared with you was a sore thing to talk about and rightfully so. with everything she’s been through. that’s the reason you don’t push. you let her come to terms with what you know and how much of it you know when the topic is about her.

You nod your head in understanding, she never experienced true intimacy anytime she did share her body. it was for a cause for a mission just to get to a bigger objective. This is a big deal for her and for you as well.

“Okay how about you set the pace? Give me what you’ll allow me to have; you can set boundaries. Let me know if you like or don’t like something. We can stop whenever you want, okay?”

“You don’t have to go through with anything if you’re uncomfortable or not ready yet, it’s your body.” She bites her lips and sends you a shy smile. she loves how much you comfort her. how you always make sure she’s feeling right in any situation.

“Okay.” she nods her head in confirmation.

“Okay, tell me what you want.”

“I-” she clears her throat this was harder for her to do than she thought. you step in for her this time until she is more comfortable.

“Do you want to keep kissing?”

“Yes” she says immediately

You kiss at her pace, not overwhelming her. You caress her. Show her a different form of intimacy. You don’t move your hands from her shoulders. Your hands only move when she grabs one and slowly moves it down her body.

“I want you to take your clothes off.” she’s blushing but you’re happy she’s slowly getting more confident with expressing her needs. you do as requested and remove your clothing while remaining eye contact, you sit in front of her completely bare.

“Do you want me to take this off? you point to her bra; she nods and allows your hands to remove it from her body. you toss the item in a direction of the room. she quickly covers herself from you. you want her to feel comfortable to know she’s safe here with you. you slowly lean in and kiss her shoulder moving to her neck and finally moving to her covered hands. you kiss both of her hands slow and sensually while keeping an intense gaze on her. she lets out a gasp at the action. you slowly remove her hands away from her chest and descend open mouth kisses on her breasts.

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

You drag your fingertips down her abdomen while maintaining eye contact with her. She must be lost on the sight of you trailing down her body because she doesn’t answer you.

“Can I?” You lightly touch her core over her panties. She reactions accordingly

Yes, take them off please.” her voice is hoarse and all you’ve done was make out and touch her a little. You’re going to make this a night for her to remember. A night of pure bliss. You do as she requested slowly dragging the fabric down her thighs and throwing it to an area of the room. Make your way back up to her eye level. Descending kisses upon her once more. While caressing her body.

“You didn’t answer the question, baby.” you pull away from her slightly and she’s quick to hold you in place. “Where do you want me to touch you?” you say again. she shies away for a moment, and you wait for her to gather her words. it’s clear she’s having an internal battle, so you take a new approach. “Or would you like to touch me?” her pupils go wide hearing you say that it’s a thought she’s had before, but would you really allow her to do that? 

”I- don’t know.” she looks away from your hovering figure, slightly embarrassed being in this state with little to no vocal vocabulary. “Hey, it’s okay. I have an idea.” you pull away from her completely she panics internally, did you want to stop now that she didn’t know what she wanted? did you grow impatient with her? she’s pulled from her intrusive thoughts once you’re situated on the bed sitting with your legs spread facing her on the bed. you pull her up to follow your position as she looks at you curiously.

“I want you to mirror me.”

“What?”

“I said I want you to mirror me. Whatever I do; you do the same thing. In this case whatever you do; I do as well, I want you to set the pace.” You softly whisper against her warm skin. “Touch yourself where you want to see me touch myself.” she moves her hand down her body, fingers lightly stroking her chest. you move with her your fingers graze your chest. she couldn’t believe this; you were watching her in a vulnerable state and all she can see is love and adoration on your face. you study her carefully watching her every move. your fingers follow where she’s traced for you.

You watch Natasha caress her chest at a painfully sensual slow pace, and finally she travels lower and lower, all self-consciousness and shyness from before having faded away. you both move lower on the same accord. you can’t look away; you don’t want to and neither does she. you can’t wait to relieve the throbbing ache in your clit. noticing the way her pupils grew dark with lust and Ecstasy. “Stop.” She says suddenly. You look at her confused. did she want to stop? maybe you pushed too far from her comfort zone. “I want you to touch yourself right there.” Right now, she didn’t care how breathless she sounded. She wanted to see more of you pleasing yourself. you realize how close you drifted your fingers down to your clit. 

“Here?” you say with confidence. she doesn’t move her eyes away from your fingers as she answers you. Nodding her head once and voice barely above a whisper. “Right there.” Slowly dragging your fingers through your wet folds. Her eyes locked on you and your fingers moving up and down. She lightly bites her lips clearly enjoying the view. the gasp you let out is enough for her to move things forward as she watched your hands. The only thing on her mind is her hands touching your body in its entirety. She can’t take it anymore. “I think I’m getting jealous of those hands of yours now.”

“Oh yeah? I could definitely say the same about you” you gently lower her back on the bed. your hands hot on her bare skin she feels like she is on fire. “This what you wanted?” you whisper against her lips. You grab her wrist and place her palm on the front of your neck. you trail it down your chest, your stomach, you go lower. her eyes close for a moment enjoying the soft, smooth, skin on display for her. it drove her insane, that this was all for her. You were Her’s. You stop moving waiting for her reaction. She opens her eyes at the loss of you leading the movements. she takes the hint that you want her to take over.

Her hands are everywhere. you feel her palm on your smooth stomach while the other one explores the rest of your body. Rough fingertips press into your lower back, she trails her movements lower and firmly grips your ass. she wants to try taking control you don’t mind at all. she gets the courage to trail her fingers closer to your entrance. when she finally sinks her finger inside you, she almost combusts with excitement. it doesn't help hearing the sound of you releasing a soft moan. her eyes blown with lust at the feeling of your arousal leaking down her hands.

Natasha releases a whimper, feeling you like this. 

“Do you like I how I feel?” You don’t move, you won’t move until she tells you to. No matter how hard that might be. You want her to know she has control in this moment with you.

“Y-yes.”

“Do you like how I suck your fingers in?"

“God, yes.” Her green eyes never leave yours

“You know you can move your fingers baby.” you giggle softly not much for her to feel insecure about what she’s doing just to tease her. she was so entranced in you that she hadn't even noticed her lack of movement, she would've been content on just having her finger inside you. She moves her fingers in and out of you slowly reviling in this feeling. She wants the moment burned into her brain, she wants to know every inch, every tick, every spot of your body. she starts gaining confidence in what’s she doing, how she’s making you feel. she’s proud of herself your praises only encourage her more. she thinks about how lucky she is to have you. in this moment you were giving her something that she fought so hard for. control. 

“Mmh you’re doing so good baby.” she looks down at your pussy when the sound starts becoming increasingly loud. she looks back up when she hears you speak again. Natasha wasn’t too comfortable with dirty talk just yet, she still hasn’t even given you a pet name yet, but she loves it when you call her cute nicknames, and she’s loving it right now as you talk her through this experience.

“It’s all for you right?” She doesn’t get to answer too entranced in this moment. her mouth went dry. you are giving her ownership of your body. “it’s all for her.” Natasha thrusts her fingers faster and firmer. “All for me.” she says in confirmation instead of a question. “Oh, my go-” you yelp out in surprise clinging to her body closer as your lips part, silently panting in her mouth. This caught you off guard. you wanted this for her, you wanted her to know what it felt like. seeing her take control. After your first orgasm she makes it her mission to keep getting the same reaction from you. you let her fingers continue their journey thrusting inside you, the power she has now is taking over, especially when she tries to get you cumming on her fingers for a third time. but you take this opportunity to shift the focus back on her. you slowly remove her fingers from your hole. she whines at the loss of contact and warmth. 

“You trying to put me out of commission baby?” You lightly chuckle at her soft pout leaning down to peck her lips. she wanted to keep going, to hear you moan again, cum on her fingers again. is it crazy that's she's already missing the feeling? You stare at her intently while raising her fingers to your lips sucking the arousal that she caused. You release her fingers with a pop sound.

“I know, I know, but this is about you right now.” you lean down once more to kiss her firmer now. “You can finish me off when I’m done with you.” you un-straddle her and lay on your back holding your hand out for her to grab as she takes your previous position. seeing her above you like this, you wouldn’t mind seeing this view more often.

She sinks down onto your fingers while dragging your free hand down from the top of her body. You slowly bring your fingers to circle her clit. Her body reacts but she seems to be keeping her sounds from you.

“Does that feel good?” She nods her head. 

“You look so beautiful; can I hear those pretty sounds you’re making for me?” You slowly slide into her entrance while starting to pick up speed on her clit still slow, but it was just enough to get the sound out of her. Allowing her body to react how it’s supposed to. Pretty soon she starts moving in sync with your hand. In the crook of her neck, you lick suck and bite just so she can have something afterwards. you’re not worried about anybody questioning her; her tactical suit covers her neck anyway.

She looks to you for reassurance she wants to know how good She's doing. but her mind also gets clouded with the thought of only pleasing you and not focusing on her own pleasure. it's a habit or was a habit since she doesn't need to do that for missions anymore.

"Ah ah, you're doing great baby, keep going." You grab her back firmly, pulling her closer if that's even humanly possible. whispering in her ear so softly "Take what you want baby, that's it, use me.” the confidence you gave her starts showing as she starts taking control all on her own. the proof is in the way she’s riding your fingers.

She’s clinging to you. hands grabbing at your shoulder’s, nails digging into your skin. She remembers you told her that she sets the pace, so she starts grinding on your fingers faster, harder, and with purpose. Arching her body into yours she’s suddenly feeling something. Something new and unfamiliar to her. You could feel her sucking you in you knew she was close. you remove your fingers ignoring her disapproving groans. it was a mean thing to do but you want the build up to her release to be an unforgettable one. “Grab my leg and come closer.” You say. She hikes your leg up and you wrap it around her figure. As you pull her down to your eye level you decide to test the waters by slightly lining your clit up against hers, and slowly start a rhythm grinding into her. When she gasps at the new sensation with you; you know you’ve found the right spot to continue.

“Do you want to keep going?” She doesn’t answer your question just pulls you closer. you trail your hand back up her body until your index and middle finger meet her lips. she knows what you want instantly. she parts her lips and allows your fingers to explore her mouth. She hums as she tastes her arousal on your fingers. you feel her tongue wet and hot on your fingertips. She gives you a mischievous look and lightly bites down on your fingers. You moan at the action and pull your fingers away from her mouth. she releases your fingers and whispers your name.

“Y/n, promise me that you’re mine.” She softly grinds into your body seeking more contact. her movements grow more firm.

“I Promise.” You softly whisper against her lips. your eye contact is stern when you respond. You want her to know you mean it, so you reassure her some more.

“I’m yours, say it.” you pant against her lips finding the sensation of your locked hips unbearable to hold on much longer. you don’t want things to end too fast keeping the same slow steady pace you set from before. you end your response with a soft whine that you quick try to hide by kissing her neck.

“You’re mine.” Of course, she heard it which only edged her on more causing a whine of her own to pass her lips.

“Say it again.” you mumble in the crook of her neck. 

“You’re mine.” You start to build momentum each time you both exchange words. So much that all Natasha can do is repeat one word mine over and over again. Her will to speak becoming more difficult with the warm sensation of both yours and her wet dripping intimacy’s connecting and binding together.

“Y/n.” in that moment you can feel the energy change. she’s desperately grabbing you, touching, squeezing and caressing every inch of your body. you gasp being caught off guard. your two bodies molding into one. you groan into her open mouth slowly and firmly moving your hips. You follow her lead and as both of your bodies lock in sync. when the sensation gets more intense, she grabs your hands interlocking her fingers with yours. palm to palm, eye to eye. pleasure erupting through her with every thrust of her hips. it seems like she liked the feeling of doing this position the most you’ll take note of that. she firmly grabs your ass and takes more control as she chases her high. She doesn’t have to chase it too long with all the edging and teasing the both of you have been doing. 

“Y/n, I’m gonna-” her breathing picks up speed the same time yours does you actually been holding off on letting go, wanting to cum at the same time she does. 

“Fuck.” you’re suddenly more aware of the gushing sound of your mixed juices. it encourages you more. you move in tune with Natasha once more so you both can finally reach the high.

“it’s okay baby let go.” She’s quick to crash her lips onto yours knowing she wouldn’t be able to contain the earth shattering moan. when you both release it takes her more time to recover.  both bodies shuddering and both of you lay in each other breathless. 

“Are you okay?” you ask her. breathlessly coming down from your orgasm. she flops forwards landing on your chest softly, panting while she’s trying to gather her thoughts. “Yeah, I just...never did that before.” She’s never had an orgasm before. If you had a time machine you would use it to beat the unworthy jackasses that ever had the privilege to touch and see her body in this way. 

“It’s an honor and a privilege to be your first.” you lean up to kiss her lips wanting her to feel all the love you’re pouring into it. She instantly reciprocated that same love.

“Do It again.” you look up at her with a shocked expression. She’s more than comfortable now to start demanding. You gently flip her on her back to hover above her once more. you peck her lips and move the kisses down each inch of her body until you’re face to face with her core. You dive in softly first not wanting to overstep.

if she wants more, she is gonna have to tell you. You lick, suck, and kiss her warm dripping core. Her moans start getting louder and louder with each flick and lick. Not enough to alarm anyone but her definition of loud. She’s on the verge of her second orgasm, you want it to better than the one she had mere minutes ago. You noticed she didn’t know what to do with her hands while you were down there between her legs. So, she settles them on her abdomen contracting and retracting her grip when you lick the right spot.

You reach for both of her hands she curious as to what you want for her. You place both her hands on either side of your head and lace her finger through yours while also lacing them through your hair. She seems to get the message and lightly tugs your face even closer to her intimacy. She gasps at the newfound sensation of your nose nudging her clit as your tongue firmly strokes the inside of her walls. You move her hands at the same pace with your head. She gets the confidence to completely take over control and grinds into your face. She’s reached her climax and releases you head from her grasp. You make your way back up her body and wait until she opens her eyes again.

“How was that?”

“That was…. amazing.”

She doesn’t know what to do after you take notice. you shift away from her slightly. Her mind racing with so many thoughts. Did you not want to hold her now that everything was finished? you get into a comfortable position and hold your arms out. She finally breaks free of her intrusive thoughts and sees you still wanting her. Still wanting her affection. This is also new to her, lunging forward her head finds its home in the crook of your neck, Natasha is lightly kissing you and holding you tightly.

“Thank you.” she mumbles in the crook of your neck

“For what?” you look down at her figure with curious eyes while rubbing small circles on her back.

“For wanting me, for making me feel wanted in and out of this room.” This was now something she could look forward to, something she would cherish, something sacred, something just for you and her.

“Always.” You kiss the top of her forehead. A few moments pass, just laying here in comfortable silence until you felt Natasha’s stare. 

“What’s on your mind Redd?”

“Just thinking.” she releases a dreamy sigh, while staring up at you.

“About what.” you give her a reassuring squeeze.

“About how you’re my angel.”

“Nat please, you already got my panties off you don’t need to sweet talk me anymore.” she lightly slaps your arm.

“I’m being serious, the way you care for me, I never experienced this feeling before I’m just.... glad you’re the one I got to share it with. Angel face.” you look down at her lovingly softly planting kisses on her face. She finally gave you a nickname and you love it. you also try not to show too much excitement to overwhelm her, she might decide to take it back and stick to calling you by your first name.

“I’m glad you trust me enough with your body.” Her soft smile slowly fades after your response as it turns into a smirk that you know too well. Her hands move on their own accord drifting down your figure.