#strange fates

***

You woke with a groan and a smile. You were surrounded by mountains of pillows and had sunk down into the bed as you slept. God, this bed was worth every penny. You turned your head to the side and inhaled deeply, catching a bit of the scent from all three of your mates. Yep, best bed ever.

But how did you get here? Last thing you remembered you were…

Oh, god. Oh, no. You shouldn’t be here. You should be at home passed out on your table. You should have woken up with physical pain to take your mind off the heartbreak you couldn’t live with. You scrambled in the bed, trying to find purchase to push yourself up to the headboard. Finally succeeding, you shoved the bedding away from you and drew your knees up to your chest. “No, no, no.”

The words were barely audible but it was enough to draw the brothers into the room. Or maybe they’d felt you wake up. You still seemed to be firmly tied to them despite your desire to forget. You’d hoped getting rid of your marks would lessen your bond.

The three of them stood at the foot of the bed just looking at you as if they didn’t know what to say.

“Why?” you asked. “Why would you bring me here? How can I forget you if I’m here? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your words held far more of a plea in them than you would normally care for, but right now, you didn’t care. You just wanted—no, needed—to get away from them.

Klaus stepped forward, his eyes full of tears. “Calm down, love. Everything will be okay.”

You shook your head. “I can’t. I can’t stay here. You have to let me go.”

Kol shot forward and you flinched though he stopped just short of climbing on the bed with you. “We can’t do that, Y/N. We love you too much to do that again.”

You sucked in a breath.

“Hush, Kol,” Elijah snapped.

Kol turned on his brother with an anger you’d rarely seen him wear. “No. I’m sorry but I can’t just stand around and pretend I don’t love her when she’s in front of me hurting. And obviously she’s not better off without us. Look at her.”

Your eyes darted between them. If they loved you, why would they leave you? You had a million questions and no idea where to begin. Fortunately, you were spared from having to make the decision.

“Out,” Rebekah ordered as she strode into the room.

Klaus rolled his eyes and Elijah sighed. “Not now, Rebekah.”

“I’m not asking. All three of you, out now. She needs to get cleaned up and I’m sure as shit not about to let any of you lot help her. You’ve done quite enough.”

When they didn’t move, she stomped her foot on the floor. “Out!”

Elijah held up a hand to quiet her. “All right. We have some matters to discuss anyway.”

You stayed silent as they filed from the room and Bekah flipped the lock behind them. Not that it would keep them out if they really wanted in but it was a nice gesture. She laid the clothes in her hands on the end of the bed and held a hand out to you. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You slipped your hand into hers and let her lead you into the bathroom. You sat on the counter at her gesture. Your gaze followed her as she got a rag and wet it down. You closed your eyes and let her wash the grime from your face. You kept them closed as she gently tended to you, both of you silent as she did so.

Her fingers traced the skin on your wrist where your soulmarks sat and you opened your eyes to follow their path. There they were, right back where they started. If anything, they were darker than they used to be. You huffed. Figured.

“Are you all right?” Bekah asked and you lifted your head to meet her gaze.

You gave a little shrug. “Does it matter?”

“Of course, it matters. Why did you do this to yourself? You’re better than this. Better than them, at the very least.”

The pure annoyance in her tone had you huffing a laugh. “I wasn’t trying to hurt myself. That was just a side effect. I just wanted the marks gone. The reminders of what I’d had.”

You hopped off the counter and went into the other room. After stripping off your dirty underthings, you put on the fresh clothes Bekah had brought you. You were surprised to find they were your own. You glanced to your friend in surprise.

“You had things in the laundry when they packed you up. I kept them around for when they came to their senses.”

You smiled. “Well, thanks.” You sat on the edge of the bed and stared at your hands in your lap. “I was so happy for a while, you know. Really happy living here with all of you. Then they told me it was all over. I was heartbroken, but once I got past the initial shock and grief of it I thought I would be okay.”

You shook your head and licked your lips. “I mean, I’m persistent. At the very least, I could annoy them into taking me back. But then they locked down the bond. Do you know what it’s like to have three people’s emotions and presence in you, keeping you company all the time, and then they’re just gone? Only a whisper remained. I’d never felt so alone.”

“I am so sorry.” The tremble in her voice had you looking at her. Moisture pooled in her eyes.

“Not your fault, Bekah.” The brothers were outside the room. They had been for some time, listening. Which was good, you supposed, as they needed to hear what you had to say. “And you know, the thing is when I was a kid and my sister gave me shit about my mark, I did some research. One way to reject your mate, to sever the bond permanently between you is to lock it down like they did. Lock it down and keep it that way for six months. I figured that’s what they intended to do. I didn’t want the marks if they weren’t going to be mine.”

A knock came at the door and Bekah scowled as she stomped over to it. She yanked it open to find all three brothers on the other side. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk to her,” Elijah said looking past his sister to meet your eye.

“Too bad. Fuck off.”

Your hand flew up to your mouth to stifle the laughter that threatened to erupt.

“Rebekah—”

She immediately cut Kol off. “You already destroyed her once. I won’t let you do it again.”

“She’s our mate, Rebekah. We’re not going to hurt her,” Klaus argued.

“That didn’t stop you last time.”

“Rebekah, just leave us with her. Please.” Elijah tried to sound reasonable but annoyance was heavy in his voice.

She glanced back at you and you nodded. She turned back to the men. “Fine. But if you hurt her again, I’ll never forgive you.”

As people shuffled in and out of the room, you moved over the sitting area in the corner. You so did not want to have this conversation on the bed. You poured yourself a drink and sat down. Kol sat on the opposite end of the sofa and Klaus took a chair. Elijah remained on his feet.

He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “First, I should tell you that we eavesdropped on your conversation with Rebekah.”

You lifted your brows. “I know.”

“How?” Klaus asked.

“The bonds. It took me a moment to realize it when I woke but they’re open again. It’s most of the reason I’m calm even though I’m hurting. It’s horrible to feel so empty all the time. It was awful.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

Kol immediately slid next to you and took your hand in his. You glanced at him, uncertain if you wanted to lean closer to him or snatch your hand away from his touch. “We had no idea, Y/N. I promise you. We thought the only way to sever the bond permanently was with a witch. We simply thought it would be easier for all of us if we didn’t feel each other’s pain so intensely.”

You hummed, not sure what else you could say you hadn’t already.

“That wolf that attacked you targeted you because of us,” Elijah explained as if you hadn’t already known that. “As long as you are with us, your life will be in danger.”

“We felt the only way to protect you was to no longer be with you,” Klaus added.

You blinked as you processed their words. You’d already known this to an extent but you had honestly thought they were just using it as an excuse to be rid of you. Looking them over, it was evident the last few days had been just as difficult for them as they had for you. Elijah was even in jeans and a t-shirt instead of a suit. He must have really been suffering. You giggled a little at the thought and shook your head.

The brothers gave you questioning looks that you ignored.

They may have overheard you talking to Bekah, but you needed to make sure they understood you couldn’t do this again. You wouldn’t survive them leaving a second time. “When you locked the bond down, what did you feel?”

“Hollow.”

“Empty.”

“Lost.”

They spoke in unison and you honestly weren’t certain which of them had said what word. You nodded. “Good. Remember that feeling. Now triple it. And add the uncertainty of why it was done. The not knowing if it was permanent or not.”

“We know we hurt you, darling. We’re so sorry.” Kol squeezed the hand he was still holding and you gently slid it from his grasp.

“That’s not enough, Kol.”

Your mates looked stricken and pure sorrow come through the bond. They thought you weren’t going to take them back. If you were a crueler person, you’d let them continue to think that for a while. Rebekah would probably be pissed you didn’t.

“All of you need to understand that I won’t survive this a second time. So, you need to realize that I am capable of taking care of myself. Yes, it was unnerving when I killed that asshole, but I did it. Me.”

Hope flowed from them and you smiled softly in response.

“I’m not a fool. I know a life with you will be full of danger. But I also couldn’t possibly be any safer than I am with you. If you can’t promise me now that we’ll take whatever the future brings together then you were right—we should end this before we get more invested.”

There was a stretch of silence as they processed your words.

Klaus was the first to speak. “If the last three days has shown me anything, love, it’s that it’s already far too late for that. Dramatic phrasing about not being able to live without you aside, I don’t want to live without you. You make me whole. So, you’re stuck with me for an eternity or so. If you’ll have me, that is.”

Your gaze shifted from him to Kol. He grasped your hand again and kissed the back of it. “I didn’t want to do this in the first place so I’m certainly never doing it again. I love you, darling.”

Your lips twitched as you turned to Elijah. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rocked on his feet. “I have spent a thousand years thinking that I knew what was best for our family. Obviously, I don’t know everything. We need you back in our home, Y/N. Back in our lives. We may live forever, but what would be the point without you.”

You allowed the silence to stretch before shaking your head. “You guys are really cheesy, you know that?”

It took exactly one heartbeat for Kol to snatch you off the couch and spin you in the air. He tossed you onto the bed as you laughed. Soon you were surrounded by your mates and you felt content for the first time in days.

***

You fell asleep halfway through the movie and Klaus carried you up to bed. Normally, they would have finished the film then all gotten into bed with you. Tonight, however, they had matters to discuss.

Once he’d seen you settled, Klaus shut the door to your room and went to join his brothers in his study. Elijah handed him a glass of scotch and he took an empty seat. The silence stretched as the three of them became lost in their own thoughts.

“We knew better,” Klaus finally said after several minutes had passed.

“Perhaps we should have,” Elijah relented, “but the temptation was too great. The pull to be with her was too strong. I find it unlikely I could have resisted even had I wished.”

Kol slammed his glass down on the table beside him. “I don’t see why we should. She was made for us. We are meant to be together. And she handled herself brilliantly.”

“You know why, Kol. She wasn’t attacked. She was targeted. Because of us.” Klaus couldn’t shake the deep sense of betrayal he felt that he would be given a mate only for the universe to try to take her away so soon.

“We don’t know that,” his younger brother insisted.

“The wolf confessed they’re talking about us. About her. For you to say otherwise only means you are refusing to see the truth of the matter.” Elijah’s words were short with anger though Klaus was sure it was directed to the universe in general and not any of them. “Throughout our lives, the people who we grew closest to have always been in danger. When they cannot attack us directly, they go after those we hold dear. It is how it has always been.”

“And in this case, it’s so much worse, isn’t it?” Klaus’s heart ached. “They need only harm her, threaten her, and they get to all three of us.”

Kol cleared his throat. “And if she were to die?”

“Well, that would destroy us, wouldn’t it?” Elijah answered.

“We could leave,” Klaus suggested.

“And go where?” Elijah asked. “Where in this world could we go where we would not have to worry about enemies on our doorstep?”

After several minutes of silence, Elijah spoke up again. “As long as we are in her life, she is not safe.”

“So, what do we do?” Kol asked, sounding completely broken.

Elijah focused on the glass in his hand. “Right now, we go to bed and hold our mate. In the morning, we feed her and walk her to work. Once she is safe behind her wardings, we will do as we must.”

***

Despite the events of the day, your sleep was peaceful. Your mates had been more attentive than usual, which honestly you hadn’t thought possible. Though all three of them had walked you to work, you had thought at least one of them would stay. It would have been normal for them to do so, especially because you had a large delivery coming in. Elijah in particular enjoyed going through shipments with you and helping put the new books away.

Instead, they’d all begged off for other business. You leaned on the counter with a sigh. Normally you enjoyed your time in your shop but today, time couldn’t pass quickly enough. You were ready to go home. Even the delivery didn’t hold your interest. Once you’d counted boxes you’d left it piled to one side to go through later.

You straightened as the bell sounded and your mates came through the door. Your smile faded as you took in their serious expressions. “What’s going on, guys?” you asked when they didn’t immediately say anything.

“Are you alone at present?” Elijah asked.

You nodded. “No one but me and the books.”

He nodded to his brothers. Kol locked the door and Klaus flipped the sign to closed. “We need to talk.”

“Of course.” You were proud of how calm you sounded though you were feeling anything but.

“We have discussed our situation and feel it best that we end this before any of us become more invested.”

You sucked in a breath, your gaze moving between your mates. “What?”

“It’s for your own protection, Y/N,” Klaus said. “The wolf was only one of many that would see us suffer. And by harming you, they could take all three of us down in one move. We cannot allow that to happen.”

Kol cleared his throat. “We can’t let you get hurt because of us.”

Your chest hurt and you bit the inside of your lip to keep from crying. “You can’t be serious. You can’t mean this.” If they had looked at you with concern or sadness perhaps you might have kept it together. But the looks of pity they all wore…well, that was just too much. “You told me you waited a thousand years for me and that I was worth the wait. That I made up for every second. You told me you loved me.” Your voice cracked at the end but there was no help for that you supposed. After all, your world was crashing down around you, wasn’t it?

“Y/N, please,” Kol pleaded.  

Elijah dropped a hand onto his shoulder. “This is for the best, Y/N. You will see that someday. We’re sorry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

All of them turned their gaze from you as they moved to leave. “I’m sorry,” you yelled and tears overflowed to run down your face. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. Just don’t leave me.” The last words came out as little more than a whisper as your mates walked out of your life as easily as they had walked in.

Your body shook as you wept and you dropped to your knees. Before New Orleans you’d thought being alone was miserable. But to have had them, to know what your life could be with them in it, and to lose that was an indescribable pain. Your chest physically hurt as you struggled to breathe between sobs.

They’d left you. You were made for them and they turned you away. You gave them everything and they didn’t want it. Didn’t want you. Deep down you’d known that brief happiness had been too good to be true. You’d known they’d realize you weren’t worth the effort one day. You’d just been hoping it would come a decade or two down the road. Just a moment. That’s all you wanted. A moment in time when someone chose you.

You weren’t certain how much time passed before you realized Cami was helping you sit up. You wiped at your cheeks though new tears quickly replaced the old. “What is going on, Y/N? What happened?”

You shook your head, not wanting to put your shame into words.

Cami rubbed her hands on your arms. “Talk to me, Y/N.”

You looked from her to Marcel who hovered nearby. He held up his hands. “Hey, whatever they did, I’m on your side. She’d hurt me otherwise.”

“Damn straight,” Cami grumbled. You laughed which quickly turned into another sob. Cami pulled you into her chest and wrapped her arms around you. “It’s okay. Whatever happened, it’ll be okay.”

“They left me,” you managed to get out. “They don’t want me.”

Cami pulled back to look at you with a frown. “What? That doesn’t make any sense, Y/N. They’re crazy about you.”

You shrugged. “I make them weak. They’re better off without me.”

She closed her eyes. “Oh, those assholes. Those stupid, stupid assholes.”

Marcel bent down and scooped you up in his arms. “You can rant about the originals later, sweetheart. Right now, let’s get her home.”

“Yeah,” your friend readily agreed as she hopped to her feet. “I’ll put a sign on the door. She doesn’t need to worry about this place right now. Go on. I’ll grab her keys out of her bag and lock up.”

You felt like you should say something. Anything. But you just didn’t have it in you.

“You’ll be okay, Y/N. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’ll get better,” Marcel offered while he stood on the sidewalk outside your shop holding you and waiting for his mate.

Maybe he was right. Maybe it would get better. Maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe tomorrow you’d wake up in your bed in your childhood home and all this will have been some weird demented dream. It didn’t take long to reach your little house. Cami opened the door and sat your things on the table while Marcel lowered you to your feet.

You’d managed to quit crying during the walk and now steered your friends toward the door. They’d done enough and honestly, you wanted to wallow in peace. Marcel finally resorted to physically pulling Cami outside. After you locked up behind them, you allowed yourself to look around your house.

“You really shouldn’t be talking to anyone about us, love. It’s not safe,” Klaus added. A deep furrow had formed between his brows.

You sighed. “I literally know almost no one in this town. And I’m not about to ask a complete stranger for their opinion on my love life. I talked to Cami and Marcel. That’s it.”

Some of the tension flowed from both men. You turned your gaze on the elder brother. “So that makes you what? Vampire?”

Elijah frowned as he looked between you and his brother. “Marcel would not have revealed that information. How exactly did the two of you meet?”

Klaus grinned. “I saved the damsel, brother.”

You shook your head. “Yes, very heroic. And then he discovered the damsel couldn’t be compelled and followed her home.” You turned toward the back room and motioned for them to follow you. “Coffee, bourbon, water? Those are about the only options on hand right now.”

“It’s not even noon,” Elijah felt the need to point out.

“The time of day does not negate the necessity for a stiff drink, Elijah.” Gods help him if he tried to get between you and your bourbon right now. “And that doesn’t answer the question. Klaus?”

“Bourbon would be lovely.” There was a hint of laughter in his voice. You were so pleased you could entertain him.

You huffed out a breath and pinched the bridge of your nose. You needed to get your temper under control. Perhaps a little calming essence in your drink wouldn’t be a bad idea. You took the stairs to the upper level two at a time. The work up here had been finished earlier in the week and you had since turned it into a large sitting room. An oversized sofa and chairs took up a good chunk of the floor space. The remaining area was filled with plants of every shape and size. Including a few that weren’t exactly native so to speak though they were well hidden amongst the others as to not stand out.

“Have a seat,” you instructed and went over to pour drinks for all three of you. Keeping your back turned to them, you pulled the vial of pale blue liquid from the drawer and added a bit to your glass. You hesitated as you went to close it up and added some to both of their glasses as well. You could all do with a bit of calming you thought.  

You tapped the side of each glass and smiled as the liquid stirred itself before settling as if nothing had happened. You handed a glass to each of the men before grabbing your own and sitting in one of the chairs. You sipped at your drink and closed your eyes as the warmth of the essence settled into your chest. You felt better already.

“This is superb. What brand is this?” Klaus asked as he examined the contents of the glass.

You pressed your lips together to hold back the laugh you were so tempted to release. “I have no idea. It was in a decanter in my grandfather’s office.”

The hybrid frowned. “That’s a shame.”

You hummed in agreement and leaned back in your chair. “So, I realize that I am the one that asked you here, but it was mainly so we could get this conversation out of the way.” You glanced down at your glass before looking back to them. “I find it better to deal with the issue directly rather than hope it goes away on its own. That so rarely happens.”

Elijah slid forward in his seat and sat his glass on the table in front of him. “What exactly is it you are expecting us to say?”

“Both of you have barely spoken to me since you discovered I was mated to both of you. Not that I blame you. You’re brothers. That’s far more important than whatever I bring to the table.” You stared at the glass in your hand again, unwilling to meet either of their gazes. You supposed you’d had your moment of happiness and, as much as you didn’t want to let go of it, you’d do what was needed for your mates to be happy.

“Sweetheart, I’ve waited a thousand years for you. I’m not about to give you up now,” Klaus said, his voice soft.

You jerked your head up in surprise. Your heart raced. Could he actually mean it?

“Nor am I,” Elijah added, drawing your attention.

“What does that mean, exactly?” You wanted to give into the elation running through your veins but knew to rein it in until you had all the information. “Marcel gave me the impression that you two weren’t the sharing types.”

Klaus smirked and Elijah chuckled. “Marcel would be correct. However, one can always make an exception for family,” Elijah stated.

“I won’t lie to you, Y/N,” Klaus said as his smile faded away. “Were your other soulmate anyone but Elijah they would already be dead. However, as the two of us cannot survive without each other and neither of us care to survive without you, we will make it work.”

“Are you certain? I realize we have no control over the fates, but I still would not wish to come between you.”

“It has been discussed at great length and we believe that sharing you is the only viable solution.” Elijah cleared his throat. “However, should you not wish to have a relationship with the both of us, we will accept that as well.”

Klaus grumbled something you couldn’t make out and Elijah glared at him. The corner of your mouth kicked up as you imagined the myriad of things the hybrid might have said. “I can’t imagine losing either of you,” you admitted.

Both men smiled at your words and you felt more at ease than you had in days. You weren’t losing them. At least not yet. You sucked in a breath and braced yourself. “There are some things you should know if we’re going to embrace this relationship.”

Elijah nodded. “Yes, there are things you should know about us as well.” He glanced at the time. “Would you care to accompany us back to our home? We can discuss all of our secrets over lunch.”

“Surely not all of them, brother,” Klaus protested.

Elijah rolled his eyes as he stood and you covered your mouth with your hand to hide your giggle. He held out a hand to help you to your feet. “Of course not, Niklaus. We are trying not to scare her off after all.”

***

Elijah and you threw together a quick pasta lunch while Klaus stayed out of the way. He claimed it was what he did best when it came to cooking. Elijah assured you it was a lie and that his brother was just lazy in the kitchen.

The three of you took your seats at the table and the conversation began soon after. “I don’t see the point in delaying,” Elijah said and patted his lips with his napkin. “As you seem to be aware, Niklaus is a hybrid. I am a vampire as are our other siblings.”

“There are more of you?” The thought was slightly terrifying if you were honest. A family of vampires. It almost sounded like…You dropped your head into your hand. “I’m an idiot.”

“I fail to see what us telling you about Kol and Rebekah has to do with your intelligence level, love.”

You shifted position so your chin now rested in your hand and looked at the brothers. “You’re the Originals, aren’t you?”

Elijah arched a brow. “Once again your knowledge surprises me. Yes, we are the Original family. Cursed to this life rather than created. But a thousand years has eased some of the bitterness.”

Klaus snorted. “Speak for yourself, brother.”

“Be that as it may,” Elijah said waving a hand through the air, “our status brings its own set of dangers with it. Our enemies go beyond those that would slay us simply for being other.”

You shrugged. “You’ve also had a thousand years to piss people off.”

Elijah gave a soft smile. “And what of you, sweet Y/N? You eluded to your own secrets.”

You leaned back in your seat and rested your elbow on the back of your chair as you turned to better face your mates. “My grandfather was ill for some time before he passed though none of the tests showed anything. He was just old, tired, I think. Turning 167 will do that to a person I guess.”

Both men stilled and blinked several times. “Witch?” Klaus asked.

You shook your head and the corner of your mouth curled in a little smirk. “My family has always aged well. Dad was nearly seventy when he was killed. Didn’t look a day over thirty-five. He’s been gone for forty years now.”

Elijah narrowed his eyes as he looked you over. “That would make you fifty-two? I think not.”

You moved a hand in front of your face, transforming your appearance to a much older woman. You did it again and switched back. “This is the real me. I used the glamor to avoid suspicion.”

“So, you are a witch,” Klaus said.

“You’re very hung up on this witch thing,” you teased.

“If you’re not a witch then what the devil are you?”

You raised a finger. “I am fae, hybrid, and I was not lying when I said I have seen far more fearsome things than the likes of you.”

“I thought your kind all but eradicated,” Elijah said, a trace of awe in his voice.

“They are. In this realm at any rate. As far as I know they still thrive in the fae lands. My grandfather was half fae, my grandmother full, as was my mother. There is but a trace of human in me. Just enough to ensure I get chilled in the winter and sweat in the summer.”

“This is amazing.” Elijah’s voice was little more than a breath.

“Quite. Imagine what we can do with a fae on our side,” Klaus added.

Your lips twitched. “Do you even know what the fae are capable of, Niklaus Mikaelson? What I am capable of?”

He mirrored your expression and leaned toward you. “No, but I certainly look forward to finding out.”

***

Your smile faded as a large hand wrapped around your upper arm and tugged you sideways into an alley. Annoyance flared through you as you twisted in the grip and were unable to get away. Son of a bitch. “You must have some majorly shitty karma if I’m the random victim you plucked off the street. You’re not going to have a good day, asshole.”

The man snorted and shoved you away from him, your back colliding with the building behind you. You grunted and let your bag drop down your arm so you could grab the handle and swing it at your attacker. He snatched it mid-arc and yanked it from your hold before tossing it aside as if it weighed nothing.

He snarled and stepped closer as you mentally went through the magic at your disposal. You’d practiced your magic for years but had never actually been forced to defend yourself with it. “You’re a feisty thing for a whore.”

You frowned at the man, brow furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Another step and his body pressed against yours, holding you in place as he sneered down at you, having at least a good six inches on you. He inhaled deeply and the motion screamed werewolf. Shit. “Apparently the rumors are true. Never thought I’d see the day those Mikaelson bastards shared anything, let alone a woman. Ain’t you the lucky one?”

So, this was no random mugging. You were targeted, sought out. You were suddenly torn between killing your attacker and incapacitating him. Surely your mates would have questions for him but your immediate instinct was to destroy the threat to your family. The internal debate ended the moment he reached for the button on your jeans.

“Maybe I should show you what you’ve been missing. Show you how a real man fucks.”

You slammed your palms against either side of his head. “How the fuck would you know?” When you separated your hands, the werewolf disintegrated before you. There really was no other word for it. The spell was extreme, vicious, and one you never thought you would actually use. Your attacker was taken apart at a molecular level leaving nothing behind but blood and visceral matter. Unfortunately, you were wearing a good deal of it.

Though you were doing your best to keep yourself together, you trembled violently. You’d never killed someone before and while you didn’t regret it in the least, it was still a shock to your system. Several minutes later, you were composed enough to realize that someone was calling your name. More than one someone in fact. “I’m here,” you called back, hoping their enhanced hearing would be able to pick you out from the sounds of the city.

Within moments, Kol stood before you, cradling your face in his hands as he looked you over. “Are you okay?”

You swallowed past the lump in your throat and nodded. The movement was slight but he picked it up just the same if the way he tugged you against him and wrapped his arms around you was any indication. Your arms grasped him immediately and you sobbed into his chest. Your knees gave way, but he held you tight, kept you from going down. Vaguely you were aware that you were coating him in blood, ruining his clothes. But he didn’t seem to care so neither did you.

“I have her,” he said and you realized one or more of his brothers must have arrived. As much as you loved them, you had no desire to release Kol at the moment. He was peaceful, strong, and you knew he wouldn’t make you talk about what happened until you were ready. “Get her things and we’ll meet back at the house.”

He swept you up in his arms and you buried your head against his chest as he sped you home. In minutes, you found yourself sitting on the counter in your shared bathroom. He stepped back and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Are you certain you are all right, darling?”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. “There is nothing about this that is okay, Kol, but I’m not injured. None of this is mine.”

“All that matters is your safety, Y/N. Everything else we can deal with, understood?”

Your eyes studied his face, taking in the streaks of blood that he’d picked up from holding you. His brow was furrowed and his face was drawn with concern. You didn’t care for the look, not on your happy Kol. Instead of answering, you leaned forward and kissed him. A simple gesture to acknowledge his words, to reassure that you were whole and hearty.

His sigh of relief was accompanied by a visible relief of tension from his body. He kissed your forehead. “Get in the shower. I’ll find you some clothes.” He stepped away and you reached out to snag his wrist before he could leave.

“Stay with me.”

His brows lifted in surprise. “Y/N?”

“I don’t want to be alone right now.”

His expression shifted completely in understanding. “Of course, you don’t. Come then.”

***

You hadn’t intended to linger in the shower, but the hot water was so relaxing, comforting. Kol and you scrubbed each other clean while occasionally sharing a soft kiss or a loving embrace. When you finally got out, you found your soiled clothing had been replaced by clean, comfortable clothes for the both of you. Kol saw to drying you off and helping you dress before turning you toward the door with a pat on your rear. “Go on. They need to see you’re all right for themselves.”

Anxious to see your mates as well, you hurried off. You encountered Klaus first. He stood at the bottom of the steps awaiting your arrival. You all but launched yourself past the last several steps. He huffed a laugh as he caught you in his arms and held you tightly against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and nestled against him with your legs wrapped around his waist. One hand helped support your weight while the other cupped the back of your head. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe now. You’re home.”

He kept whispering soothing words as he carried you through the house. “All right, spider monkey,” he finally said and you couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you. He squeezed you tighter at the sound. “Here’s Elijah. He wants to see you as well.”

You turned your head to see Elijah standing nearby, his arms open to take you from his brother. You felt a bit like a child as you were passed off to him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Right now, you just wanted to be taken care of. Elijah sat on the couch and positioned you so you sat sideways in his lap. Reaching to the side, he grabbed a blanket to drape over you and you rested your head against his chest as you settled in the warmth. Within moments, you were sleeping.

***

“I still don’t understand why she would come home without waiting for one of us. She knows all she had to was call.” Klaus’s angry words roused you enough that you were paying attention, but not enough for you to wake completely.

Kol sighed. “Calm yourself, brother. It was the middle of the afternoon. She had no reason to think anything would happen. Why should it?”

“Besides, you know very well it is not her you are angry with, Niklaus. You were scared, as were we all, when you felt her distress. And then when we couldn’t find her…” He moved beneath you and you assumed he’d shrugged to finish off his point.

The tension was still thick in the air and you could almost see Klaus pacing the floor. “What if we had lost her? It took us nearly 1000 years to find her.”

“But we didn’t lose her,” Elijah argued.

“And she’s home now. Safe. Everything will be fine,” Kol added.

“What if it’s not?” Klaus retorted and your heart twinged. Your hybrid still found it difficult to believe that anything good could happen to him. That the fates would be so kind. As much as you wanted to stay right where you were for the rest of the evening, you evidently needed to take care of your mates as much as they needed to take care of you.

“It’s not as if that particular wolf will be causing any more trouble.” You kept your eyes shut as you spoke. Sometime during your rest a persistent headache had taken up residence. You could only assume the light would make it worse.

The silence stretched for a couple of minutes until Kol broke it. “Yes, about that, darling. What precisely happened to him?”

You huffed a laugh. “I did. My magic did, I mean. I never used that spell on a person before. I used to practice on watermelons. Can’t say it looked much different.” Your attempt to appear unbothered was ruined by the shudder that ran through your body. Elijah’s hand trailed your spine in an attempt to reassure you.

He started to speak but was cut off by Klaus. “Why are your eyes still closed, love?”

“Headache.” The word was accompanied by a groan and you tried to bury your face further into Elijah’s chest. Not that you could without suffocating. His hand moved up to cradle the back of your neck and rubbed gently.

“Drink,” Klaus ordered and you cracked open your eyes to find him leaning over you, wrist level with your mouth. Your gaze locked with his as you leaned forward and took what he offered. He ran his hand over your head until you pulled away a moment later, your head already starting to feel better.

“Thank you.”

1. WIP from Voices of the Fade - I swear I’m going to get to this one day. So help me. This is actually what made me want to write this series. It was the first thing I wrote for it. And it made me just incredibly heart broken.

There was something about the way the sunlight hit... She was naturally pale, so her ivory skin was glowing against her cheekbones. They defined the side of her face, giving the soft shape of her profile a hint sharpness. Her nose was so small. And so were her lips, despite how pouty the bottom one was. But it was the way the sunlight hit her face that made him stare in awe. When her eyes opened, he shifted hoping it was not his gaze that woke her. She blinked up at him as if in disbelief. He brushed a strand from the corner of her mouth as she came to.

"Where are we?" she whispered.

"Home," he answered.

The stone walls of the fortress were the color of dark sand. It kept the rooms cool from the scorching sun. The windows were thick and tinted, as well, preventing any sort of breeze from intruding. The smells of the Anderfels were not always pleasant. And the birds were always hungry. Nevertheless, the mountains were massive and a wonder to look at. Like green giants plastered against a forever grey wall. And Weishaupt was it's gem. A place of honor of protection. A place of fragrant foods and quiet murmurs. And a place where the clashing of swords and explosions of magic echoed through the grounds. It was everything he had imagined.

"This is nice," she said quietly.

"Yeah," he heaved a happy sigh.

"Shame this isn't what really happened, though."

It was too confusing to mutter a response. Not that he could as a lump swelled in the depths of his throat. His mouth refused to open. And he watched as her face burned under the sunlight, a bright hot light that sizzled into ash, the same color as her hair. He reached out for her, his hands burning. It was too late.

2. From the first chapter of A Dame’s Tale (Claira Trevelyan’s origin story) - This was super personal for me. My mother was emotionally abusive and my dad was always working so he couldn’t always be there for me. And this was really just something I drew from that.

"Do proper ladies raise their hand?"

"No," the tears began to swell.

"Are you a proper lady, Claira?"

"Yes, Mother. I am," her voice cracked.

"I don't think you are."

"I promise I'll do better."

"You promised last time."

"Please, Mother, I promise. For real this time."

The tears were now little streams dripping down the side of her face. Her voice cracked as she wailed a plea for her mother's forgiveness. Her mother was silent, her eyes scanning over her youngest child as she stood sobbing in front of her. This little girl- her knuckles and cheek bruised, her lip bloodied, her dress torn with patches of dirt, her dark hair a tangled mess, and her face wet with tears- this was not the daughter she had prayed for.

"Go with your father. He'll take you to your room."

Claira struggled to catch her breath between cries and a warm hand on her shoulder didn't help. She let out the tears she had been holding back and she fought to keep her eyes open. Although blurry, she could see the back of her mother's dress swaying as she strode to the other side of the room to the balcony door. She did not see the rest as her father had reached down to clutch her hand.

3. Some super serious Aeva x Solas angst. I have feelings about eluvians. This is from Whispers in the Garden.

For a moment she saw a cliff side outlined with trees adorning flowers that was quickly obscured by a tall figure, shrouding her view. She stepped back further, feeling the air from the other side chill her entire body. Aeva became overwhelmed with the thought that this could be real and she stepped backward even further to take in the familiar shape. The mirror's image closed, making a small sound like shutters closing quickly against wind. And now the only light in the room was from the moon shining down through a window above. It made his face look pale. But other than that, it was just as she remembered.

His hands were folded behind him with his shoulders back and his chin held up proudly. His face was the same, but he was still different. It was nothing like he used to be. He wasn't the mage with the rugged tunic. He was a soldier. No... a commander in gleaming metal armor. The anger came rushing back to her as she remembered the last time he walked through a mirror. The way he used her for his own gain. Disappointment replaced her distraught and she felt ever foolish for wishing to see him. Her fist curled tightly against her and she drew in a deep breath through gritted teeth. But before she could yell, he was on her, his gloved hand pressed tightly over her mouth.

"Shhhh," he said softly into her ear.

With her only hand, she tried to push him away. She didn't want to see him. And she affirmed that by closing her eyes tightly. She hit him in the shoulder over and over until her hand hurt. Until her knuckles felt raw. Until she felt the skin punctured.

"Vhenan," he whispered.

The sound of the name he used to call her on his lips just made things worse. She pushed him one last time, feeling her arm go weak. Her knees began to shake and they buckled. Tears pushed past her eyelids, crashing down as she began to yell into the palm of his hand. He waited until she had exhausted herself. He held her at her waste and loosened his grip the moment he felt her muscles were no long tense. He removed his hand from her mouth, lifting her chin to look at her face. Her eyes were hooded and she still refused to look at him. But he could tell that she was beyond tired. Her body seemed lighter than before. Her skin had lost it's sun touched glow. Her lips were cracked.

"Enough," she felt her mouth make the shape, but was unsure if the sound came out.

He kept hold of her in fear that she would collapse.

"You can't keep doing this," she went on, finally hearing the raspy tone in her voice.

Her eyes finally opened and he could see now they were still piercing green. The yellow flecks inside were illuminating her eyes like they were on fire. They brought a flutter of fear into his chest, like the moment before being struck suddenly by fangs. But it quickly faded as she brought her hand to his face. It felt like the same man. The same smooth skin with a sharp jawline and faint smile. It sounded just like him too. Looked at her the same. But it wasn't.

"You can't come into my dreams anymore," she said. "I can't take it."

4. So I did a thing where I combined Aeva’s fear of drowning with the fear of what she lost with Solas. And because she connects fear with anger, it all just combines into a huge mess of emotion. This was the first time I really was able to portray that. An expert from Chapter 7 of Strange Fates.

Aeva walked to edge of the cliff, looking down at the waves swelling beneath her. There was the strange feeling again. The fear of the nothing beyond the sea. It was a larger feeling than what she felt at the barge. It was like the all the other times... like the first time...

The first time she saw waves this large...

The first time she sat on the coast...

(memory) The rain came down heavy and she looked outside her tent. It wasn't letting up any time soon. She paced, rubbing her hands on her face. If she didn't act soon, the trail would grow cold and she would never find the Grey Wardens. The flap to her tent lifted without any announcement of arrival. And he stood, a look of concern on his face. He offered her a warm drink. They sat across from each other on her cot. He made her laugh. He took her hand, but it was for research. His fingertip traced in the inside of her palm. She snatched it back...

"Aeva?" Fenris jumped down from the wagon. "You're looking at the sea strangely again."

"Yes..." she shook her head. "Yes I am."

"Ferguson is setting up camp if you-"

There was a drifting silence between them as she brushed by. Her movements seemed slow and her eyes looked blank. Almost as if she were in some sort trance. It had been a long night. And upon further inspection, he could see spurts of blood across her armor. Still, for her not to respond at all was odd.

"... want to take some time to rest," he finished his sentence, watching the back of her disappear around the wagon.

The tents were nothing like she used when traveling with the Inquisition. These were much smaller. Large enough for a cot and maybe a table if you angled it correctly. Her tent was in the northernmost corner and the closest to the fire, which Ferguson had already prepared. It was still small and clinging onto the wood from the blowing wind, but he stoked it carefully so it did not catch flame to the pine needles below. Iris sat nearby peeling potatoes and whistling softly. They looked as Aeva came through, but said nothing.

The fear from the waves was not going away. And the more she thought about a way to be rid of it, the worse it got. Aeva did not handle fear well. It simmered in her chest, tightening her lungs and making her heart race. When it began to boil, she burst with rage. And she couldn't let that happen. Not in front of the camp. There was only one thing she could do. She reached into her pack, looking for a specific vial. And it was there bundled in the center of strange looking leaves. It was a black mixture with floating powder. In most cases, she would use it as a bomb to subdue her enemies. But mixed with the liquid, it became a sleep aid in small doses. She shook it up, causing it swirl slowly. The small cork made a small pop as she opened it. And with a wrinkled nose, she took one drink of it as if it were a shot of the strongest ale. There was a bit of a gag, but then she swallowed hard a second time to try and be rid of the taste. The cork went back into the vial, between the leaves, and bound with string once again before she placed it back in her pack. The affects were almost instant. And she barely had enough time to lay her head on the pillow. It was her escape... for a time...

5. THIS piece of dialogue from The Quiet Closet. I was so proud of this. It was the first piece of smut I not only wrote seriously but posted. And this dialogue to me is just... oof. Um NSFW by the way.

"You," she growled. "You make me weak."

"You like it," he whispered teasingly, his finger massaging her below.

"I hate it. I despise it. I despise you."

Asatrion laughed, slipping a second finger over her. She attempted to sink down again to feel his knee, but found his grasp on her wrists were far too tight. She looked up at them helpless, leaving her neck open for his taking. He caressed over it, licking it to taste her flesh and biting slightly over her throat, thoughts tempting his darker nature. But he had sworn it wouldn't happen again. No matter how much he wanted her, no matter the circumstances, he would only take what she gave. Ferelith may have enjoyed losing control in that moment, but that didn't change her need to command other things. It seemed a bit odd to his taste, but all the same fascinating. And he wanted to explore it further.

"Tell me more," he demanded. "Tell me how much you hate me."

She dropped when he loosened his grips, her back relaxing down the wall. With a gentle nudge, his knee rose up to meet her and he felt her hips sway against him. He moved his fingers in motion, straightening them as she came in like a rolling tide.

"I hate how charming I find you," her eyes closed and her voice sound as if she were in a trance. "I hate that you make me laugh."

She inhaled quickly as he pressed harder into her core, her head hitting the wall as she reared back. He felt her body tighten and urged her forward with his knee.

"Go on," he said, baring witness to the moments of joy on her face.

"I hate the sound of your voice," she lowered her brow with concentration. "I hate how attracted I am to you."

The heat from her body was making him crave her, now, and he could feel himself growing excited at the quickness of her breath. Her spite made it all the better. The more anger she released, the stronger her movements became, and the longer his strokes became. It became difficult to hold onto her and her hands slipped through his grasp as he tried to ground himself, his hand slamming onto the wall.

"I hate this constant desire I have for you..."

Her hands dug into his hair, feeling the back of his skull. The sensation of her nails scratching against his scalp brought him closer. His hand skipped up the wall as he faltered for a moment, his face buried in her hair. The fragrance she gave was enticing, as it always was.

"... this desire to feel you. Next to me. Against me. Inside me..."

Slowly, her hands slid down to his shoulders. One remained, gripping tightly. While the other slithered up his neck, her fingers finding their grasp on either side of his face. He did not fight her pull to bring him to her gaze.

"Still... If I believe for one second you'll betray me..." she said through heavy pants, "I'll kill you."

However, Aeva was unable to sleep with the crossbow. She was forced to remove it each night. And when she did, the nightmares of her arm slowly came back. Becoming desperate, she reached out. And found a solution with a heavier resolve. The metal arm was not easy to remove. But it was better suited for her needs. When the nightmares came, she would reach up. And when she felt the metal, she knew she was safe. There was no construction in the dream. No fake walls or disguises. It was a scapegoat for her. And there were not many nights she took it off. The times the arm did come off were for things like maintenance. And it never came off without tools unless there was a good reason. The pain when the arm was removed was incredible, tensing the muscles in her shoulder so much that it left her sore for hours. The best thing to do was to leave it for a bit to let it rest before reattaching anything. She hadn't the slightest idea of how the inside worked. But she knew enough to fix small kinks and watch the runes.

As she hovered of it, taking a pick and cleaning it out bits of dirt, she heard the sound of a light rain pitter pattering across the top of her tent. Short after, there was a call from Ferguson to gather the horses and pack away the camp before it got any heavier. The crew tried to argue with him about not yet having breakfast. But the man was relentless. Aeva sighed, knowing it best she move along as well.  Grumbling to herself with a small elven curse, she put away her tools. The arm was easy to reattach. But she had not gotten used to the jolt of energy it sent into her body. She preferred to do it away from camp. Where others could not hear her. But this time, she would just have to be quiet.

*****************************************************************************************

"Absolutely not," Ferguson crossed his arms as the crew worked around them.

"I won't allow that mirror to go unprotected in that Circle."

"And I'm not bringing a band of elves with me. If the mirror looks suspicious, imagine bringing it in with four elves. It's already an old artifact."

"Then at least they'll know who it belongs to."

"And it will draw too much attention," the old man began to walk off in an attempt to end the conversation.

"Then at least let me in there with you."

"Right... the one that hunts mages. Let him in the Circle full of mages who want to be left their freedom. Sounds like a great idea," Ferguson rolled his eyes. "Listen, Fenris... the worst thing that will happen is that they'll catch a glimpse of it and ask how much I want for it. They're used to us hauling artifacts. It's why Varric hired us."

"And I was hired to protect it."

"You were hired to protect-"

Ferguson stopped, his eyes catching the sight of Aeva just in time. She had appeared from around the wagon with an apple in hand. The broody elf saw the man was distracted and turn to see what he staring at. His demeanor changed immediately as well. When she approached, she couldn't help but notice their awkward stance.