#storm.pers

This popped into my head this morning and I can't get it out.

I know the gods of various pantheons do not function the same as the christian god is portrayed (all seeing, all knowing, etc etc) but I still feel like the gods would be able to perceive us in various ways if they felt like it.

So, does anyone have any thoughts on what the gods think if they see us do something gross? And I mean, like stuff you'd normally do when you're alone - fart, scratch places you probably wouldn't in public, certain private acts you may be interested in (I don't feel like sex or sexual activity is gross but people have different opinions or are into some crazy stuff, no kink shaming to literally anyone but I'm talking stuff you normally ask for consent if other people wanna see, yk?)

I don't personal have any clair-senses to speak of, so I can only tell if an entity is around if it actively wants to be perceived and can manifest something pretty obvious, so I always kinda worry that if they're around and just vibing and idk about it, like what if I do something that they don't vibe with and they perceive me differently? I already know the "everyone is just human" justification of them probably expecting it out of us, but I feel like any autonomous consciousness would still have opinions about it.

Is it common or considered normal for people who follow more than one spiritual path to associate different forms of occultism or personal aspects to the different paths?

I've been considering my spirituality and personal path a bit more lately and I wanted to kinda give myself a focus boost by imagining my dream altar/workspace for giving offerings and such. And when I thought about it, the kinds of items I put down for the different paths were each completely separate and only overlapped slightly despite me generally only having one aesthetic that I really kinda commit to (if even that, I just know what I like and a lot of things follow a pattern with me).

The only issue that I had with my idea though is that I feel like I might be stereotyping what I'm supposed to put? Like, even though I never really plan to show my altar to anyone aside from a little holiday update or something, I feel like aesthetics from ti/ktok or something crept in on me and I don't know how to feel.

Explanation::

I've been exploring Luciferianism primarily, following by both Heathenry and Hellenism.

The items I conceptually prioritized for Lucifer were books I have on satanism, luciferianism and the goetia but also an offering bowl I found online that look like black angel wings, some feathers (probably from my bird, she's a conure so pretty far from black but I get kinda germaphobic when I think about picking up wild bird feathers and they're still nice) and a Luciferian rosary. Relating to the self, I primarily associate this path with the mind and human will, divorced from the soul itself or afterlife belief.

For Heathenry I primarily imagined shaped gemstones, carved wooden statuettes and animal bones (though again I probably would have to get over my own germaphobia for that). I have an "offering bowl" for them as well, though it's just a nice bowl I found that made me think of them, and I found a matching mug to go with it to either offer them drinks in or share one with them. Relating to the self, I associate this path with the earth and the elements, and how one interacts with them.

And for Hellenism (I fully admit this is the one I have to learn the most about, I would say I'm in the bare-basics of this one but I still felt a pull towards it just not as strong), I imagined lots of candles, statuettes, flowers, silver trinkets and even sea shells (though I hate the beach and don't really know anything about Poseidon). Relating to the self, I solely associate this path with the soul and human nature, interpersonal conflict/connections and general morality.

I know having aesthetics for your craft is not inherently bad and it can help ground certain people to their craft or worship, but I also feel like my aesthetics for each one would overlap more if they were personal to me instead of being influenced by outside sources.

Is it something that I should just put off until I have more experience with each path, or is it fine to attune myself to these aesthetics as long as its helping me instead of hurting/distracting?

After I made my last post about potentially discovering my primary (in a personal sense) kintype, I just stayed in this perpetual state of muddy thoughts and feeling kinda floaty, a bit like dissociation/derealization but not as strong as I would normally feel it, and I know it wasn't from life or work cause everything's been pretty chill and going okay for once...

It's finally easing back a bit but it comes and goes now, and I basically have to ground myself in my current human reality in order to focus on anything for longer than a half hour.

Has anyone else gone through something like this?

i am too tired to be having this revelation right now, my eyes are starting to hurt from looking at screens all day

but i might have just found a deeper connection i have to fallen angels than i originally thought

been passively referring to my past self as a "watcher" as it was the most correct term that i had when putting pieces together

and what do you know

while i was looking at different perspectives of theistic luciferianism *dun dun* there are apparently "watchers" in various biblical texts

(context note, neither i or my family have ever been inside of a church, let alone heard anything from any bible outside of cultural osmosis and common phrases/references)

i dont have enough energy or want to share my entire experience of deciphering the feelings i have for my past self, but needless to say, once i wake up i will have a /ton/ of soul searching to do, discovering what resonates with what ive already found

Call me Storm, my pronouns are vi/vir/virs and it/its.

Minors DNI, I’m late 20s it would just be weird.

Getting rid of the DNI micro-labels. :: BLOG RULE OF LAW :: ~ If you believe in restricting someone else’s rights, personal choices or self expression, even virtually, block me. ~ If you participate in call out culture, witch hunts, doxxing or support any of these, please block me and speak with a mental health professional.

Therian/Alterhuman Sideblog: @watchful-cryptid

I got messed up on my hormone routine and skipped for two days, then when I could do it again I had to do it at a different time than normal.

Should've been obvious but honestly, my short-term memory is Not Good. Long term is so-so, but remembering if I just did a thing? Unless it's still in my hand or I made a note about it, I have zero clue.

___________

I genuinely love watching South Park.

If I need something on in the background or just something to watch and turn my brain off to, I will always choose it.

Does that mean its any good? No.

Does it have good rep for minorities? No.

Does it have any good messages directly stated literally ever? No!

Some episodes are pure satire on modern society while others are just intentionally mean, either to a group or only one person, and I feel like both routes are pretty clearly done in each episode. It's fairly rare (though not impossible, obviously) to find an episode of SP in the recent seasons that isn't an identifiable satire on a situation or political climate or pop cultural /thing/ going on. Also rare to watch an episode and not understand exactly what they're making fun of: racists, homophobia, religion, politics, health fads, rich people, bad parenting, poor government oversight, failing education systems, the list goes on.

Keep in mind, even when they're making fun of something objectively bad, like racists and homophobes, they usually only have one (1) voice of reason MAXIMUM in the episode. If any, at all. The rest of the town, or some one-off characters, are usually going to perpetuate some terrible thing related to the plot that day. They may even make it look like the town agrees with the bad take, potentially even making it true for the rest of the series. Canonically, the entire town is extremely judgemental and xenophobic, there is literally no argument for them not being that way. It's shown multiple times.

The reason I don't mind any of this is because zero characters in South Park are inherently good, non-flawed people. Even the "good guys" in the show are very openly displayed as pieces of shit multiple times throughout the series.

Whether it's from the earlier seasons and all the kids are just snot-nosed kids who don't know any better or in the later seasons where the adults, who are supposed to be the good examples for them, make horrific and baffling decisions on how to handle even minor inconveniences in the town.

EVERY person in South Park is a flawed, usually downright terrible, human being. And. That. Is. The. Point.

If South Park wanted to be Family Guy and have "good" protagonists, they would keep all of the flaws in their main cast but back-fill each one of them with relatable and well-meaning traits also. They would be normal, classic, non-malicious but still very flawed and destructive people, just like in Family Guy and American Dad and every rip-off of them ever made. Some characters have that, sure, but sparingly. Most don't even get a single good quality about them, or if they do they somehow take it to such an extreme that it's almost worse than the bad qualities entirely.

They don't want to make a show with a great message every episode (despite also parodying that in some earlier seasons, when the kids acted more like kids), they wanted to make a comedy show that depicts the absolute worst, hell-spawned, unjustifiable, batshit insane town of people that still clearly represent everything wrong in our modern society.

Yes, they have racism directly in the show. They WANT you to see that it's racist and bad.

Yes, they have ableism directly in the show. They WANT you to see that it's ableist and bad.

Yes, they have "insert-literally-any-ism-you-can-think-of" in the show and very proudly display it for all to see and critique and shit on. Because they want you to see it and shit on it and know it's bad.

That is the intention of each and every minute of every episode.

Even in the episodes where it ends with a message that should be encouraging, "just be yourself" "treat others how you want to be treated" "despite our differences we're all the same inside" etc, it's usually undermined by the context being so warped and otherwordly that it basically can't be applied to a normal scenario anymore. The characters learned something but they and the town didn't improve as people or a collective. They are too flawed to ever be redeemed, because they are only ever going to be our worst aspects.

Again, does that make the show inherently good? Absolutely not! You can hate the show, you can get sick of its bad jokes and bad representation, you can wish it stopped airing by now and you can wish that it was never made in the first place.

But shitting on people who even passively enjoy the show is just not a good take. People like things for different reasons.

If someone loves South Park because they feel joy from seeing someone be a racist bigot, yes absolutely call out that person. But liking South Park at all is not a sign of this.

If someone loves South Park because even the worst jokes still point out how insane it is to think that day's -isms are justified somehow, in a lighter tone than we currently get while doom-scrolling, I see nothing wrong with that.

Every day for at least the last decade has seemed like a parade of terrible news and horrific people rising to power or enacting some terrible law/getting out of justice for violating the law. It's mind-numbing and terrifying to think about for extended periods. And sure, we can't avoid the bad shit going on, but at least digesting it in a lighter tone for a short time makes it more bearable while you're still thinking about it.

Aside from literally all of that... It's just a show. It's not trying to be something great and important, it's there to entertain people. LET people be entertained by it and give the people having to sit down and animate it a paycheck.

If you don't like it, just ignore it. Don't watch it. Don't follow people who watch it/post about it. Don't seek it out just to shit on it more. Just. Ignore it.

Even me, someone who likes the show, knows that inevitably it will have to stop being made at one point. There will be a last episode and no more channels/streaming services running it one day. Just wait it out and you'll have one less thing to be mad about.

The ways that we're different only make us stronger and more understanding of the world and ourselves. Without them, I wouldn't be alive right now; even if I somehow managed to make it to this age without them, I wouldn't be the same as I am now in any way.

They opened me up to finding who I truly am and embracing who I found. They stuck with me through all the shit that I put myself through in the process and let me make my own mistakes on the journey of figuring myself out and my boundaries, and respected every single one that I set up, temporary or otherwise.

In the time we've been together we've both evolved into entirely new beings, though in opposite directions. I have so many labels I made an entire carrd and organization system to keep my own information straight and legible. They go unlabeled, as a gender, orientation, presentation, what have you. Entire opposites but perfect for each other.

They let me know that I have value in this world no matter what anyone says or may try to take from us.

They have let me explore emotions I never thought I had inside because they were the only one to recognize the deeper issues I had and then stayed to keep working on them with me! Buried under all the dissociation and hopelessness I had, was a whole world of emotions and repressed means of expression that I had entirely written out of my own story.

They make me feel so wholly complete and fulfilled that I had to find and invent knew words for how I felt certain emotions, the words that I had found previously were absolutely not enough to properly express what they allowed me to experience.

We've been together for almost 8 years now and I will never get tired of hearing their thoughts, their opinions, the wisdom that they hold about this world and the way people can experience it - the way that they have always experienced it.

In every feasible meaning, I cannot imagine a world, past present or future, that does not include them in my life in some way, as partners or more or even less. Knowing that they are breathing is enough to give me hope in this world and to give me a reason to breathe as well.

As long as they are okay, I have a reason to believe life is something to be enjoyed and not trudged through until the day you finally get to leave the pain and stress and effort behind. I had dreaded immortality more in my life than I've ever considered being afraid of death; now, if I was made to live forever, my only request would be to have them be by my side for all that time.