"Remus," You whimper, clutching at the part of his shirt that lays over his chest, bunching the fabric up in your fists.

"Yes, dove?" He hums, eyes instantly off of the television screen and on you, "What's the matter, darling?"

"My feet are cold," You complain, wriggling them where they've slipped out from under the blanket Remus covered you both with, "I can't reach."

Remus can't either. You're sitting against his chest, you're actually closer than he is, but he holds a hand against your back to keep you up, careful of the lit joint he's pinched between two fingers, and bends forward to fix it anyways.

He fluffs the blanket back over your toes, straining to reach as he tucks it beneath your heels. Then he glances back up at you, still stretched, "Good?"

"Good," You give your feet an experimental wiggle, and the blanket stays put, "Thanks, Rem."

"Fucking ridiculous," A scoff cuts through your couple's reverie, and Remus's jaw goes stiff as he straightens back up to settle against the cushions.

"Oh, really, Sirius?" He brings the joint to his lips, making a show of blowing smoke in Sirius's direction, "Do tell." Remus wraps an arm protectively around your front, staring the man down.

"Remmy," James croons, leaning into Sirius's side with shiny, pleading eyes, "My toesie-woesies are cold."

"Oh, my darling," Sirius gushes, throwing a hand over his forehead in typical dramatic fashion, "That simply won't do. Allow me, princess."

"Ah, thank you!" James breathes again in that airy, ditzy voice he's put on, clutching tight at Sirius's chest, "Whatever would I do without you?"

"Keep talking," Remus drawls, lips morphing once more around the end of his joint, "But remember, you're smoking my weed, on my couch, that my girlfriend and I just had sex on."

Their faces drop, and Sirius points warily to a cushion, "Like, you had sex- here?"

Awww this is so adorable (hope you don’t mind I did innocent!reader but if you did I can defined redo it<3)

“What’s wrong doll you should be asleep.” Remus said smushing his cigarette on the ashtray beside him as you walked towards the couch.

He was rolling some blunts for his hangout tomorrow with Sirius and James. Whenever they visited he made them smoke cigarettes near the window so you couldn’t inhale the smoke.

“M’ can’t sleep” you mumbled making yourself comfortable in his lap causing him to sigh before pulling a tiny ziploc bag out of his pocket. “What’s that?” You asked curiously. “Dried lavender princess, for you” he answered making you raise an eyebrow.

“Here princess, smoke this.” He said placing a kiss on your forehead as he held the blunt near your lips. You sat up with a nervous look on your face. “Are you sure remmy? M’ never smoked before”

“I know princess, but it’ll help you sleep mkay?”He said as his dazed eyes met yours. You nervously opened your mouth making him chuckle and place the already lit blunt in your mouth.

You exhaled a little trying to untense your shoulders before taking a large inhale. You gasped before coughing loudly earning laughter from Remus.

He reached for the bottled water on the table and holding it up to your mouth. “You have to do it slowly bunny” be clarified as you took a gulp of the water he was currently holding for you.

He put the blunt back in your mouth and you slowly inhaled. You exhaled after a quick second and let the smoke fly out of your mouth.

“Like that remmy?” You asked him. He nodded placing a kiss on your cheek. A few minutes later you were fighting to hold your eyelids open which of course, didn’t get un noticed by the scar covered boy watching you.

self-serving Stoner!HPcharacters brainrot time

Note: I refuse to acknowledge Fred’s death. He’s alive to me 😭

Characters: Ron, Fred, George, and Remus.

_non-smoker reader for Ron, Remus, and Fred_

_SFW (except for dr#g Us3)_

_romantic relationships (but if someone wants platonic ver. I will be happy to oblige)_ 

   Ron Weasley :

 Bro smokes every day, nearly every hour

Dark circles from late night smoke sessions, eyes that drag from up to down in the dark hours when he’s lost in thought (usually because of you)

Let’s you roll joints for him 🤍

He’s protective, will not hesitate to swing when a creep comes up to harass you.

Rap music in the background of smoke sessions, sweetheart and stoner rap combos

Definitely prefers to stay in when he’s high. Half being safe and half just because he’d rather just hold you when he’s all gone and let his mind take a rest. 

You can almost always smell the “herbs” on his clothes, even his suits.

Smokes weed, doesn’t sell it. He’s busy enough and also would much rather keep his stash to himself.

  Fred Weasley:

 Fred is somehow even more condescending and sarcastic when he smokes, but to be honest, it’s hot.

Smokes less often than Ron and George, but in a higher volume. Oh, and, never without you. If Fred is getting high then he’s getting high with you next to him.

He’s glad that you don’t smoke, for a few reasons that he won’t say. But occasionally he’s in a joking mood (more than usual at least) and will blow smoke in your mouth when you’re on his lap to see your reaction.(Always makes sure you’re okay, though.)

You can rarely smell it on him strongly, but there’s almost always a faint scent mixed with his cologne.

He’s lovey. Always affectionate in his own way, and it’s amplified when he smokes, he’s got his hand(s) around your waist, holding yours, caressing your cheek, just whatever tender motion he can manage for hours. 

 Remus Lupin: He gets high (a safe time) before full moons: change my mind.

He’s really calm when he’s high, just lazily musing about this and that with an occasional “enlightenment” caused by the substance. 

“We ‘ave to go shopping tomorrow.”

“Mhm, I remember that.”

“Merlin” “What is it, remmy?” “I’ve discovered how to conjure a potion to null the effects of -insert some obscure curse-”

“Pfft-”

Remus doesn’t like smoking weed. He prefers edibles, and Sirius bullies him for it and says it’s because he doesn’t know how to smoke a joint. He does, but he can’t stand the smell on his clothes and in his house.

Lowkey hot n’ bothered when he’s high but refuses to do anything when he is, it doesn’t sit right with him.

Remus is most definitely cuddly after a session and wants nothing more than to hold you and fall asleep with you as close as possible.

He’s really tired after he comes down.

 George Weasley:

He is so soft for you when he's lifted. An absolute ball of sweetness and he loves to tell you how much he admires you, just staring at you through reddish and glossy eyes 

“Y/n”

“Yes, georgie?” “I just like how it sounds…Y/n Weasley.”

Likes to play around with you, as in tossing you onto any soft surface in the house and coming around the other side to kiss your cheek.

He goes out of the house high every once in a while, but always brings friends and you along.

Never goes to work lifted, even though he’s thought about how funny it would be.

Hugs n’ kisses between every two words he says when he’s in a session with you no matter what.

“C’mon, stop! Someone’s at the door” He pecks your nose, and when he pulls away he says

“What’s it matter? Probably just some sales-bloke, just ignore ‘em.”

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

Anyways love your writing hope you have a good night<3

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

thank you!! i hope you have a good night too <3

--

"I dunno," You hum, frowning as you yank down on the hem of your dress. In turn, the neckline lowers, and you groan, "This isn't big enough!"

"'S your size," Remus doesn't glance up from where he's lighting a blunt, hand cupped around the end of the smoke, "What'sa matter with it, dove?"

"It's too revealing," You groan, one arm thrown over your chest and another down so that your palm can cover your ass, "I don't feel like finding out who's a handsy drunk tonight."

Remus snorts, "It's me, love. I'm the handsy drunk. Just- you're gonna be fine, okay? If anyone tries putting their hands on you I'll put mine on them. And not in a good way."

It's strangely romantic to hear a man tell you he'll punch someone's lights out for reaching for your tits. He earns a kiss for it, even if he stinks like weed.

"Promise," He grins lazily up at you as you hover over him, chest on full display, "Anyone who looks at you won't see the light of another day. But if you really wanna be careful..."

"Hm?" You stay nose-to-nose with him, brows raised.

"It was an accident," Your voice is shaky as you try placating Remus, but the man's face is dark beyond recognition.

"Really, Y/N?" He gushes, voice rough and caustic, "It was an accident? Someone gave you a black eye on accident?"

"Don't yell at me," You try to sound authoritative, but you're begging, "Remus, they were just talking, and I got too close to them, and- and they were drunk! So they were uncoordinated, and their hand just-"

"I'm sorry," Remus grumbles, hands landing softly on your shoulders and bringing them down from around your ears, "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have raised my voice. I just want to know who did this to you."

"Someone who didn't mean to," You sniffle, "Please, Remus, don't do anything. I just want to go home, now."

You can tell it takes him a tremendous amount of restraint to give in. He cares about you and your wishes, you know that, but the urge to avenge your bruise tries winning out.

"Please," You nearly sob, burying your aching face in Remus's chest and wrapping your arms around his middle, "Please, Remus, just take me home."

"Okay," He relents, arms smoothing down your back and hoisting you up with hands anchored below your thighs.

"O-kay," He hums, feeling your face, heated and teary press into his neck, "It's okay, dove. I'll take you home, it's okay."

"Promise you won't try to find the guy?" You warble into his skin, and Remus's blood briefly boils at the knowledge that it was, in fact, a man that had hit you.

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

--

You feel sleepy all of a sudden. Not bad sleepy, not scary, chest-tightening, breath-taking sleepy, but calm, sweet, drowsy sleepy. Your head lands on Lily's shoulder as you exhale a puff of smoke, involuntarily so as it slips out in a yawn.

"Tired, dove?" Remus chuckles warmly, his own blunt perched between his lips.

"M-hm," You nod, your cheek rubbing against the corduroy strap of Lily's overalls, "What are you putting in this weed?"

"Lavender." Lily informs you, and your brows furrow at her serious answer to your joke, "And other herbs. All safe, sweetheart." Her hand comes up to caress your cheek, skin smooth and soft, "I heard you tossing and turning last night."

"And your eyes are baggy," Remus nods, "Lily said that would work."

"It did," You groan, passing your joint off to Lily to snuff out, favoring instead to rub your face against her shoulder, pressing at your aching eyes as you get comfortable, "I hope you're strong, because you're going to have to carry me to bed."

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

--

You don't see the guy ogling you from across the room, but Remus does. Remus notices everything when it comes to you, like the way the soft curve of your breast is outlined by your tight green tube top, and the way the man ten feet away leaning against the couch is looking at it.

"Dove," He calls, catching your attention from where you're humming along to the music, "C'mere for a sec."

You head over with no hesitation, tucking yourself into his side and smiling expectantly up at Remus, "Hm?"

"That man is staring," He informs you, words warped and muffled around the cigarette in his lips. He plucks it out from between them to speak again, "'Wanna brand you. That okay?"

Your stomach caves in a bit, and you nod with starry eyes compelled by his sudden protective streak, "Yeah, 's okay. Where?"