MANY WAYS TO HURT.Ā ( not accepting! )
@stoiicistā said:Ā Ā ā have i endured loneliness with grace ? āĀ idk i want these two to be friends. maybe they can be riding horses :-)
Ā Ā Ā HEāD MAKE THE obvious joke, but he doesnāt think reyna would appreciate it ā she did not strike jesper as the sort of woman to ask such a chargedĀ question often, or to even let others see beneath her stoic little mask.Ā he is not going to sully this moment with an ill timed joke, even though every instinct in him that knowsĀ he is no good at handling emotions is screamingĀ at himĀ to make a joke and let the fear of messing up pass onwards.
Ā Ā Ā thankfully, he keeps his mouth shut against that urge, and instead lets the conversation fall to a pensiveĀ silence; he drinks in the sound of the woods, the clatter of the horsesā hooves on the ground, the feeling of the breeze amid the late summer heat.Ā reyna is an equestrianās dream, he thinks.Ā she had a way with all animals, but that horse ā unicorn?Ā gods, the mist got him for a secondĀ ā the horse sheās on clearly adored her, and something about that made jesper feel inexplicably softĀ towards the otherwise stalwart praetor.Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā ā you do a lot of that, do you?Ā just endure things? āĀ he knows loneliness, he knows it intimately.Ā it looked like half an empty bed, and a father who hid his sobs out on the porch, late at night so the sound couldnāt be heard.Ā it aged a body in ways time could never hope to replicate.Ā he sees it in her, too.Ā Ā ā iāll tell you what.Ā you canāt do anything with grace if you have to endure it.Ā fuck what anyone else says about strength coming from the things that test your tolerance for getting hurt.Ā i think you just . . . survivedĀ loneliness, really. ā