robin, steve and eddie are high as a kite when steve goes, "i think it's, like, so brave you guys chose to be gay," all dreamily.
robin makes eye contact with eddie who looks offended and confused at the same time. and robin, who knows his soulmate better than he knows himself, knows they're about to go on some insane journey with steve.
so he mimes eddie to shut up and says, "what do you mean choose, stevie?"
steve looks at her all confused, "you know, like when you first think people are hot and you gotta choose a gender?"
and that- okay, what?
"that's not how it works, man," eddie chimes in, looking only incredulous now.
steve tilts his head like a puppy, "yes, it does."
and before they could start fighting robin interrupts. "is that what you did, steve?"
and to her absolute delight her dumbass soulmate nods.
"yeah, back in like fifth grade tommy and i decided."
now, wait a minute-
"tommy and you!?" eddie screeches.
"mhm, he was my first crush and then we talked about it and he said it's better to like girls, so we decided to stick with girls, you know."
she does not, clearly.
"that's- i- i don't even know where to begin with that-"
"i know," eddie interrupts, "tommy hagan was your first crush!?"
"ignore him, not the point," robin says, "steve, people don't choose. i have never been attracted to a man."
it's steve's turn to look confused at that, "but... huh?"
"and you can like women and men," she continues, "it's called being bisexual. you don't have to choose."
she watches him take in her words, look at the ceiling, then back at her.
"am- am i bisexual?" he asks in a small voice.
"are you?" robin asks.
eddie looks bewildered and almost hopeful? useless gay, robin swears.
steve looks at eddie and frowns, looking contemplative.
"what?" eddie asks.
"kiss me," steve demands.
"what!?"
robin watches the exchange silently, a little gleeful.
"how else am i supposed to know if i'm bisexual? kiss me."
eddie sighs and goes, "that's so fucking stupid, okay what the hell, come here."
steve perks up at that and pretty much jumps into eddie's lap, whose face immediately turns beet red. no one's asked robin to mind her business so she watches the train wreck in front of her, wishing she had popcorn.
when it becomes obvious eddie won't make the first move, steve huffs and kisses him. it starts out awkward, but quickly escalates into a full on make out session. robin is happy for them, she truly is, but she did not need to hear them moan.
"okay, okay, okay, stop!" she claps loudly to interrupt them, "i'm still here, wait until i'm gone to continue, guys, come on."
while steve looks sheepish, eddie looks like he's seen the light and has heard nothing of what robin's just said.
"what's the verdict, stevie?" she asks.
"definitely bisexual," he announces.
