#stngram

“Just tell me, I promise I won’t get mad.” — Lucifer

9/10, not because it’s clever, but because it’s effective. My brothers would rather gamble on a sliver of a chance for mercy, despite the fact Lucifer has lied for every time he says this.

“I’ll pay ya back with interest, promise!” — Mammon

3/10 Somehow Levi believes him without fail. My older brothers, everyone.

“It’s malware, I swear..!” — Leviathan

5/10 Points if only so he doesn’t start elaborating what was on his PC at 1 in the morning.

“Promise I won’t tell.” — Asmodeus

2/10 You wake up the next day and the whole fucking school knows.

“I’ll try not to eat it.” — Beelzebub

4/10 So he says while the food is halfway into his jaw.

“I’ll do it later.” — Belphegor

10/10 because he gets away with it. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it, not being the youngest after all.

“I never lie.” — Lord Diavolo

-713826380/10 The best joke Michael ever heard, I bet. Remember when my brother and our human almost died?

“I harbor no ill will towards Solomon, despite his many antics.” — Barbatos

7/10 I’m pretty sure he bent a cast iron pan from trying not to hit Solomon with it. Then again, it’s not usually unwarranted.

“I’m just fine and dandy!” — Simeon

100/10 Run. I mean it.

“Oh but I’m such a humble, innocent little lamb.” — Solomon

0/10 Lucifer once told me to find a person who could make me laugh so I guess I did good.

“Do I look like some fucking loser who texts her ex?” — Thirteen

Birthday concluded. Truce ended. Karasu, play The Boys Are Back from the High School Musical 3 soundtrack.

Nyatan and Solomeown’s Adventure Log:

9:27 AM: Experiment success… Well it’s not really an experiment. The elixirs were effective and have turned us into cats.

9:45 AM: Solomon being Solomon, he wanted to see if he could sneak up on his housemates and see what they were up to while he’s “away.” Raphael almost picked us up and we had to make a run for it.

10:12 AM: With our newfound feline abilities, we wanted to see if we could scale the Bonebloom sapling in the garden. All I can say is that real cats make it look easier than it is… And I didn’t know whether cats could laugh until I fell off the branch. Solomon is a cunt no matter the form he takes.

10:38 AM: Solomon and I decided to play around in the tall grass. It feels invigorating to still have that natural instinct to hunt but the sorcerer is very elusive… And he pawed my ass before I could react. White fur should stand out in verdant blades and yet I can’t pinpoint him. Hmph. I’ll get him for sure!

10:52 AM: We are momentarily distracted by our paws and compare toe beans; it’s all equally cute. They’re currently repairing a road outside of Purgatory Hall and we’ve both decided to imprint our paws on the wet cement. Maybe they’ll leave it as it is and we can look at our pawprints every time we go to Meowcao.

11:37 AM: We’re famished… And Solomon suggested we take some of his “homemade leftovers” from the fridge. I don’t want to test if cats truly have nine lives so I had to bite his tail and drag him to the House of Lamentation. Between the two of us, my stews have yet to kill someone.

I’m grateful that our microwave is paw-friendly.

12:27 PM: Solomon and I invaded Lucifer’s bedroom while he’s away on lunch with Lord Diavolo. Of course, I’m not going to pass up on this opportunity to prank him… We rolled over his black pants and dress shirts, and got fur all over them. Then we hid the lint rollers. Suck on that you arrogant prick.

1:19 PM: My partner, in his adamance to make a pact with Lucifer, wanted to explore his room to see if there was anything he could use. I swear I could hear the switch to his self preservation being flipped. Nearly everything in Lucifer’s room is enchanted to ward off five little brothers who want to get him and Solomon just doesn’t care. I think my airplane ears will do the trick, along with a warning garble. I will say, it’s cute when he whines as a cat. It’s a pinch grating if he does it as his regular self.

2:07 PM: We came across some of the strays in our garden, and they seemed to recognize us by our scents.. The world of cats is truly fascinating. I got to do my first “ekekek,” and Solomon was so delighted he gave it a try too. We’ve been ekekek-ing for 10 minutes and I can only hope we didn’t accidentally offend any of the strays.

2:18 PM: We decided to rest before heading out again but we really just wanted to watch drama. A stray I don’t recognize, ventured into the garden and it would seem my usual gaggle of cats didn’t particularly take kindly to that. Solomon was meowing for one of them to start swinging.

3:15 PM: We decided to venture into the city, mainly traveling via the roofs and the spikeless walls to avoid foot traffic. I think we’re getting the hang of things, we could scale up the walls and ledges if we just jumped before we could second-guess ourselves. Some of Mammon’s crows passed us by, though they didn’t recognize us to say hello. That was okay. I liked watching the city below with just Solomon, undisturbed.

4:03 PM: I promised Sol that we’d curl up under the sun together, but the Devildom only ever has the moon.. Still, I did know a good patch of grass to lie on for moongazing because of my little brother. Maybe when we visit the Human World, we can frolic under the sun, not like I can’t procure the elixirs again anyway.

We gave each other a bath, though if I’m being truly honest I’m not sure I knew what I was doing. It felt natural and not at the same time, but Sol did seem pleased as punch. His fur is as soft as his hair is. White cats are common, the eyes are a different story however; no one else holds the earth and the skies in their eyes like he does.

Considering his awful sleep schedule, I’m just glad he could afford to rest a bit today. If this is what it took for him to forget his worries, even for only a few hours.. Then we’ll enjoy this wonderful cat’s life more often.

Widowed at the ripe young age of 240,000.. I mean he did deserve it but I definitely didn’t. 🥀

Commemorate good times, they said. We’re heading out for a messy family outing.

( @lucifersarchive took the picture)

LIES, DECEPTION, AND MALICE. I REFUSE TO VALIDATE THIS SELF-PROCLAIMED “100% ACCURACY GUARANTEE.” I REBUKE THEE.

Meowcao has a new adorable little baby, a lovely American Curl that’s still nameless. The owner’s left the decision to me and @solomon-the-wise to repay our patronage.