#stinkpiece

No reviews this week.  Not that there is a shortage of tunes, far from it, there is the new Bell Witch album, Re-TROS, Igorrr, Ivolve… Tons of music waiting to be reviewed. No, the reason is that with the holiday period happening, my schedule has been turned upside and down and there is not a single opportunity for me to sit down and attentively listen to an album.

However, there has been a video so cringy that I simply had to talk about it: “The RISE and FALL of ROCK ‘N’ ROLL” by SpectreSoundStudios. In case, you’re not familiar with the channel: it is run by Glenn Fricker, a part time producer, part time YouTuber and part time day jobber because neither of the previous two gigs makes enough money to pay the mortgage and the bills. He has some popularity and I followed him for a little while. Although I’m no longer subscribed to his channel, his videos still pop up in my YouTube-overview for some reason that only the YouTube-algorithm knows. In this particular video  Fricker goes over the history of rock music, not just rock ‘n’ roll, and tries to build up to the conclusion that the labels are screwing over REAL musicians with REAL talent who play REAL instrument and REAL music is in the shitter. All that in a timespan of 9 minutes and 17 seconds with his typical, loud, obnoxious deliverance.

Bad videos are nothing to him but this one is just embarassing at every level. It is not informative, funny or insightful. One of the most blatant shortcomings is that Fricker doesn’t mention any band or trend that came after Nirvana. Based on his rambling you’d think that Radiohead, White Stripes or the whole Britpop wave never happened and neither did funk, hip hop, let alone the new wave of hip hop with Drake and Kendrick. It raises the question: has he stopped listening to the radio after 1994, is he really that narrow minded or is he just playing the part to pander to the views (and add revenue) from the metalweeabos?

Since I can’t imagine any somewhat serious producer being borderline autistic like him, I’m more inclined to speculate he doesn’t buy his own bullshit. In which case he is a phoney, just like the popstars from the 2000’s that he bashes in his video. Otherwise, he is incompetent and the best he can do, is sell his studio, pay off the mortgage and just start a manga channel.

Contrary to what Fricker proclaims in the video, there is no conspiracy against rock music or metal but as The Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano explained in his video on the more or less same topic from THREE YEARS ago, rock is too busy kissing its once glorious ass to notice that other, fresher sounds has popped up: EDM had its hype but it’s still a major cultural phenomenon, trap exploded, there are some exciting and accessible things going in jazz. There is just a lot going on that is fresher, more exciting than ripping off Led Zeppelin and the music industry, not music charity, goes where the audience goes.

But even if rock is not the most popular music on the radio, does it matter? If you really love a genre, do you care how popular it is? I’ve got plenty of issues with the overly materialistic philosophy of trap but I just turned 37. What the fuck would I be telling to a 15 year old who is more cynical than me and has a better understanding of the world than I had at the same age? My time is over, Fricker’s is over and soon Lil’ Pump’s will be too. Music is a living thing and it is constantly mutating.

But his most disgusting statement is that rock is supposedly dead. Mainstream rock has been reduced to a handful of beerbellied 50 year olds playing 30 year old songs but there is plenty of great stuff happening in the underground. Hardcore punk has been revived again, bands like Ulver, Omrade, Re-TROS and in their own way Death Grips are taking metal and rock into the 21st century. Hell, most rockfans have had no problem embracing The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers or more recently Perturbator. In my opinion it just comes down to “acceptance”. Accept that a certain esthetic belonged to a certain era and accept that said era is over. Accept the sound of the present.  If your standard in 2017 is still Judas Priest and early Metallica, it might be time to retire from music.

So after much turmoil and heartache, you’ve decided to boycott Coopers. Great! You’re commitment to the plight of the legalisation of marriage equality is respected and lauded, you can pat yourself on the back. If you’ve not heard about the whole fiasco, Google it, I’m not going be another guy adding more fuel to that debate because it’s redundant at this point. Especially since things have cooled off by this point, as is the nature of modern media. For myself and many others, Coopers has been the go to beer for quality at it’s price point, it’s one of the best value for money beers on the market. The problem is now, if you have decided to boycott, is what your new, affordable, refreshing, staple of your fridge beer is, and it’s a tough choice. The quick and easy option is to switch onto classic Australian lagers. XXXX Gold, VB, West End etc., an easy and affordable option. Only issue is, while those beers have their place in our culture of being a smashable, shitty lager that you split a “dirty 30” (a beautiful edition to the Australian lexicon) with a mate or 2 at a house party and get rowdy, they leave much to be desired. So now what do you drink? So here I have crafted a guide of your new replacement beer options. The criteria? Price, Taste and Availability: The beer must sit around the same price of a carton of the Coopers range (between $40-$55 to be generous), it must be relatively easy to source (AKA, at your outer suburbs local Dan Murphy’s, BWS etc.) and most importantly, stack up in quality to the Coopers range. And the results are in and here are my top 8 recommendations: TECATE

Style: Lager (Mexico) Price: ~$45 Availability: Medium Quality: 7/10 Hailing from across the pacific, this is Mexico’s version of a smashable lager that’s not Corona. It has that malt driven quality that you expect from your West End ilk, but for me, it comes across far cleaner and crisper, and is just a cut ahead quality wise. It’s a great all day smasher. (I may be biased because Tecate takes me back to getting ripshit in a San Francisco hostel. Nothing beats the taste of nostalgia). FURPHY’s

Style: Ale (Australia) Price: ~$45 Availability: Great! If you live in Victoria Quality: 9/10 Now this is a real competitor. A simple, balanced, clean ale with classic fruit driven flavour and a pleasant bitter finish. At the price, it’s really does rival Coopers in it’s glory. Only problem is that outside of Victoria, it’s an ordeal to source, and frankly, it’s not that good for you to go to that much effort and it’ll make you re-asses how much you really care about your Coopers boycott. ASAHI/KIRIN/SAPPORO

Style: Lager (Japan) Price: ~$50-55 Availability: Impossible to miss Quality: 8.5/10 Japanese lagers have entered a very close and dear spot in my heart over the last 12 months. I’ve learned to love their crisp, simple balance and ice cold, they are exceptionally refreshing. Problem? They tend to stoop about five or so dollars above the Coopers bracket (a few more for Sapporo), but in my mind they are a wise investment. The choice of the 3 for me is Kirin for how crisp and easy it goes down, but if you want a more malt driven lager with balance, Sapporo is hard to beat. They all taste like classic Japanese engineering: effective, affordable, precise. RED STRIPE

Style: Lager (Jamaica) Price: ~$55 Availability: Medium Quality: 8/10 Now this is one of the most under appreciated brews around, a simple fun little lager. The bottle, is a personal favourite little design of mine, similar to the classic VB “Green Grenade”, but in a cuter, little red number. But what comes through flavour wise, is this really crisp clean lager with a nice little apricot flavour with subtle malts that balance out to a fine beer. JAMES BOAGS PREMIUM

Style: Lager (Australia) Price: ~$50 Availability: Impossible to miss Quality: 7/10

This is what I call “price efficiency”. Coming in at around 5% ABV, this is a stronger number and is not as sessionable as most of the aforementioned beers. None the less, it’s a solid lager that’s quite refreshing, despite being heavy on the hop and malts. The balance is there regardless. JAMES SQUIRE 150 LASHES

Style: Pale Ale (Australia) Price: ~$55 Availability: Very Common Quality: 7.5/10 Known to me as “Dad’s Favourite Beer”, this is one of the introductory craft beers, it was certainly mine. It’s a clean and simple pale ale with wonderful tropical and citrus flavours, albeit leaning a bit too hard on the malts, making it a little less crisp than desired. The price is a little steep for the quality in my mind, but that being said, it’s hard not to love. CARLSBERG

Style: Lager (Denmark) Price: ~$45 Availability: Very Common Quality: 8.5/10 Don’t worry about Heineken or Stella Artois, this is your European lager of choice in the bracket. Crisp, balanced and beautiful, a glorious number that does down like nothing else ice cold on a summers day. PACIFICO CLARA

Over the last few years, the rise of ethical eating, vegan and vegetarianism has increased significantly. Between 2012 and 2016, every state in Australia registered an increased percentage population of people who eat vegetarian (excluding Victoria who declined by a measly 0.2%) and it’s easy to understand why.

First off, for most people between 18-25, who are still studying or looking for a graduate job, buying meat is a luxury. It’s relatively expensive to buy chicken or beef at your local supermarket, and that’s the lowest common denominator, low quality meat. Where as buying a kilo of carrots will set you back a dollar, pears are around the same price, bread, rice and pasta are all dirt cheap and filling, living a simple vegetarian or vegan diet is extremely affordable. Understandably, there has been a rise in the conversation about the ethics of eating meat. On the negative side, it is easy to feel uncomfortable about consuming livestock and animal products, especially when you tack on the atrocities that are going on in the mass agriculture and factory farming industry. The idea of living and sentient beings living in an environment “intended to maximise production and minimise cost” is abhorrent and quite frankly disturbing. On top of this, the quality of that meat is very low, and is the product that appears in most supermarkets like Coles and Woolworths, the meat that is the most affordable. It’s a fair and considerable argument to consider adopting a vegan or vegetarian diet, and something I have oft considered. But for me, I can’t do it. That being said, on a day to day lifestyle basis, I live a predominantly vegetarian lifestyle. It’s not an entirely conscious decision to cut out meat, it’s more of a fiscal decision and a health decision over an ethical decision. Also, fruits and vegetables are delicious. But I will not shy away from eating meat, for a number of reasons. One: I love food. Food is a thing in my life that has been a massive part of my upbringing, and the preparation and serving of good food to good friends and family is the most wonderful experience, and something I would not cut out of my life. When I was a kid, my family and our friends would have monthly dinner parties where we would all bring a plate of food, maybe we celebrated a certain region or cuisine, and we would all share banquet style delicious food, talk about and over it, laugh, and just enjoy our family’s company. When I was around 16/17, my friend and I had an agreement and we decided to try and be vegan for a month. The hardest part during that period was not eating vegan, that was the easy part and I have a bigger appreciation for plant based foods because of it, the most difficult part for me was turning down food prepared for me. Going to a close family friends place and having to decline their food, and having them try to adapt and make meals for me. In the end, not being able to deal with that guilt, my friend and I decided to bail from the vegan month about 2 weeks in and had a pizza party with our friends. Sharing food with people I care about is too important to me.