#stillsadthough

#linkinpark #stillsadthough #lifecontinues #chesterbennington

I'm strong on the outside most days, but inside I am crumbling under the weight of missing him. Everything has just gotten so heavy and I want to go back to when I felt like I could still carry my emotions with me.

I'm gonna write this down because I'm afraid that if don't, then I might forget. My beginnings are always blurry. I tend to not pay attention at the little things that started it all. Anyway, I remember being in a maze of pillows and that I'm so frustrated I started throwing them. Of course his mother, she got mad then I got mad and you know what happens when I get mad, I cry. So I ran to the highest point of the maze and he ran after me. Then gave me a hotdog pillow and I told him his mother hates that pillow and he said he knows and he also knows I love hotdog pillows (well I really do.) Then I hugged and cried to that pillow and he said I only have one minute for it. After a minute he came up and said the time is up and it is his turn. Turn on what you might ask? I also didn't know. I just cried to myself and said sorry but he didn't say anything and just sat beside me and let me fell asleep on his arms. Weird. But I needed that hug so yea. Hahahahaha. Moving on, when I woke up, I saw an invitation for a Halloween ball. Of course I will go party. I didn't dress up much because I hate dressing up and when I got to the venue he asked if this is what I'll be wearing the rest of the night and I said yes and you know what he did? He went to the bathroom and changed to his normal clothes. Hahaha what a weirdo (who would do that for me?) hahaha we didn't dance. We just walked around venue holding fingers (because it is not my whole hand that he was holding, just three of my fingers hahah). Another proof of him being a real weirdo. Then I saw Kendra and Scarlett and their mommy Cheska and I didn't let the opportunity slip and I asked for a picture and after the flash I woke up.