#stillfeellikeshit

I set myself up to get hurt all the time. I know i do it and when i get hurt its my fault because i let it happen. Or I'm stupid and tell myself it wont hurt that much, i can handle it, it isn't so bad. But in the end, it DOES hurt that much, i CANT handle it and it IS so bad. And coming second best for the people who mean the world to you, and who you thought you meant the world to them, sucks. A LOT. What those people don't realize is that it takes a HELL of a lot more hurt than they could ever cause to make me stop caring and give up. People don't realize how much I am willing to sacrifice for them if I feel like they're worth it or if i feel like they deserve it. Just because you hurt me fir whatever reason, does not constitute a reason for me to not care about you, unless you do it repeatedly. And I may sound like I am boasting or full of shit but thats the thing, people don't SEE that side of me because Im not given the chance to show it. And that upsets me worse that when i get hurt by people. And i know this will get absolutely no notes, but today feels like the worst shit ever and i just needed some sort of Release.

Woke up this morning to some old Fab 😌😌

Have had a stomach bug the last like 48 hours or so.. and I just weighed myself and I've lost 1.5 kilos. There really is a silver lining for everything.