#stilldie

Steve: Not to be gay but...Wow

Eddie: You don’t have to be gay to appreciate a man’s beauty, Steve

Steve: No I want him to bend me over his Camaro and fuck me

Eddie: ...okay

Billy Discovers How Hard It Is To Exercise With Needy Boyfriends At Home

dustin spotting eddie kissing billy hargrove at eddie’s table in the woods by the school. all dustin wanted was lunch with one of his best friends, and instead he got served a steaming plate of betrayal. how was he going to tell steve that not only was his boyfriend cheating on him, he was also doing it with a total douche!? (no matter how many times max and lucas claim that billy ‘changed’ and that he ‘apologized’, dustin wasn’t convinced. he saw what hargrove did to steve with the plate, he was loyal to steve. unlike some people, appearently.)

dustin mustering up the courage to break the news to steve the next night, preparing himself to see his best friend’s heart break. biking all the way to steve’s house just to see steve and billy kissing in the front doorway. he’s frozen in shock as he watches billy pull away, say something to make steve grin a stupid, dopey grin, and saunter over to his camaro to drive away obnoxiously. dustin gets more exercise in power-biking the rest of the way to steve’s house than he did in a semester of P.E.

dustin yelling at steve for cheating on eddie, yelling that eddie was cheating on him as well, and that they were doing it with the same person! dustin doesn’t know wether to be mad at steve or eddie, and decides to be maddest at billy ‘cause fuck that homewrecker. when he finally stops talking to take a breath he’s overwhelmed and upset but also confused because, of all the emotions he expected to see on steve’s face after his rant, amusement was not one of them.

dustin being sat down and laughed at told that no, steve wasn’t cheating on eddie, and no, eddie wasn’t cheating on him. dustin grasping onto the general idea of billy’s relationship with steve and eddie quickly, and only being upset because they chose to do it with billy hargrove. steve just laughing at him some more.

It starts with the Hargrove boy. Wayne has seen him hanging around town, that car of his announcing his arrival around every street corner, engine idling outside of Melvald’s and the Palace Arcade, tires screeching through Forest Hills in the dead of the night, stuttering over those same dirt roads come morning. And Wayne Munson, he’s not a stupid man. No, sir. Not in the slightest. He’s not blind, either. He knows that his nephew could not afford that fancy guitar, those hulking Marshalls, on the meager allowance Wayne scrounges up each week. No, there’s other income rolling in, that’s for sure and certain. The Hargrove kid is a customer. At least, this is how Wayne explains the nightly visits, until the one early morning he catches the boy scrambling to his Camaro in a pre-dawn haze. He knows that Billy sees him, sees the crooked button-down shirt, the half-zipped fly, the blond curls all mussed and wild in the shadows of the sunrise. The boy says nothing — doesn’t even acknowledge Wayne’s presence, pretends he hasn’t seen the man at all. He crams a cigarette into his mouth and ducks into the driver’s seat and takes off like a bat out of hell.

Eddie, he’s sheepish that morning. He’d watched the whole thing through the window, heart hammering hard in his chest. He was a fidgety mess over breakfast, hands shaking, coffee spilled. Wayne only asked, “Have a good night?”

“Y-Yeah,” Eddie stammered, and he rushed on our the door mumbling something about being late for first period. Wayne shook his head, huffed a laugh. So his boy liked boys — what’s the big deal? Wayne scratched teen pregnancy off his list of fatherly worries, kept calm and carried on. Eddie was Eddie, and Wayne loved him all the same.

The Harrington kid, that was the real curveball. Eddie and Billy had been palling around, getting along just fine, doing all the things that teenage couples do and pretending like they weren’t. They were no choir boys, and Wayne knew this, and they knew that Wayne knew, but their act was amusing all the same. So long as they were careful, so long as they were safe, Wayne didn’t much care what happened behind closed doors. Billy spent the night more often than not and Wayne was steady provider of a good $20 for pizza and beer and whatever else they could buy with the change. He nodded to Billy in the mornings, even helped him repair that stupid car of his after a crash by the old mill. Billy had been quiet but grateful, repeatedly telling Wayne that he could do it all on his own and repeatedly thanking him when Wayne told him that was bullshit and to hand him that there tool. (Eddie had tried to help, bless his heart, but his mechanical knowledge started and stopped in music production equipment; he’d settled for refilling the lemonade pitcher and fetching lunch from the diner down the road.)

But sometime around the spring of ‘86, Steve Harrington entered the mix.

Now, Wayne knew the Harringtons. Knew of them, at least. All hoity toity in their big Loch Nora house. He knew they traveled often and that they had high expectations of the son who scooped ice cream before that godforsaken mall burnt down. Eddie had mentioned Steve in passing. Wayne had chalked him off as a teen movie bully, larger than life until the tassel moved to the other side and they had to set foot in the mythical real world that had hovered over their pretty heads for four long years.

Maybe Steve was just a burnt out golden child on the hunt for some new fix. Maybe he was the disappointment his father always claimed he’d be, sinking low, low, low and self-medicating the trauma away. Or maybe, just maybe, there was something more to his visits to Forest Hills.

He’d snuck around at first, just like Billy had. Slipping in and out and suspecting that no one knew. Wayne, of course, did. He was aware of the goings on of his own home, thank you very much. He’d brushed it all off as nervous rich boy energy. The Harrington kid, he didn’t belong here, and he damn well knew that. He’d spent most of his high school days shitting on the poor kids who came home to vehicles instead of four solid walls, who bought their back-to-school clothes at the army surplus store, never once setting foot inside The Gap. He was out of place.

But it was more than that. Wayne learned this quickly, on a Saturday morning when an early phone call rang him in to an overtime shift at the plant. He’d rolled out of bed and brewed up his coffee and pushed open Eddie’s bedroom door to tell him goodbye. He’d expected Billy, to be quite honest. The boy has shed his shame by then, had cocooned himself in the safety of the Munson trailer. And he was there, back to the wall, body curled around Eddie as if Eddie were a life raft keeping him afloat (and Wayne did make a mental note to check up on the kid, lifeguard the lifeguard as it were, pull the boy ashore if he had to). But it was the boy on Eddie’s other side that gave Wayne pause.

There he was. Steve Harrington. Hair a mess, clad in one of Eddie’s heavy metal tee shirts he’d saved up to buy, one arm thrown across Eddie’s body, finger laced loosely with Billy’s. Eddie slept soundly between them, one arm protectively braced around Billy’s shoulders, the other pillowed behind Steve’s head.

And Wayne hovered in the doorway, taken aback.

But it makes sense, doesn’t it? All the times he’d come home to three of them lounging lazily on the couch. All the times Billy and Eddie had snuck out, a bit more suspicious than they usually were. The sightings of the Harrington boy, all flushed and nervous, always looking over his shoulder, as he sneaked away from the Munson trailer.

And, no, Wayne certainly does not get it.

Can you imagine Billy pining away, forever in love with the idea of his soulmate being the one who’ll save him from his situation given that’s what happened to his mom and he finds out that his crush is his soulmate but doesn’t want to tell him yet until he’s made something out of himself, until he’s deserving of love and all of a sudden, he finds out that his soulmate found his soulmate and it wasn’t Billy?

Imagine Steve happily dragging Eddie with him who already looks besotted with Steve and they show Billy the mark that he’s memorized from seeing it in the mirror thousands of times and as soon as he sees the smiles on their faces and the look of wonder in their eyes, he knows for a fact he can’t ruin their happiness. He isn’t selfish enough to do it even others would say he was and all he could do was pretend to be happy and smile at the happy couple.

Imagine Billy pulling away, either out of fear he’d inadvertently ruin their relationship or because he couldn’t stand being surrounded by what he couldn’t have and the kids weirdly enough noticing and trying to figure out what’s wrong. It doesn’t help that Neil’s always been bitter about soulmates and he loved rubbing it in Billy’s face how worthless everything regarding soulmates and soulmarks was. Billy used to be able to ignore it in the hopes of finding his soulmate but now, he knew the truth.

The kids come to a different conclusion, not realizing it was something regarding soulmates but instead, about Neil’s treatment of Billy. If canon, it would be El spying on Billy and seeing him being beaten into a pulp by his dad but in a modern AU, it would the aftermath wherein Max would ask Steve to come visit Billy and he drags Eddie along with him.

Either way, Steve and Eddie find out about the abuse that Billy’s been suffering through and the guilt that Steve felt was immeasurable for not seeing what his best friend was going through, too busy with being in love with his soulmate. With Hopper’s help, they get Neil behind bars but Billy’s a wreck and he needs people to take care of him.

Steve refused to leave Billy alone in the trailer while Max went to school and Susan went to work so he offered to have Billy move in with him and Eddie so they could take care of him. Since Steve only worked part-time and Eddie was in the same year as Billy and could drive them to and from school, it made a lot more sense than leaving him to his own devices.

Billy thinks he’s in a new level of hell as time goes by because getting to know Eddie and seeing everything he can’t have was absolutely painful and heartbreaking on another level. Being surrounded by their care and affection when he’s barely known it his entire life hurts on another level he can’t exactly describe but it’s a pain that hurts so good that he can’t exactly say no to it. His only saving grace is that his mark was casted over due to Neil’s last temper tantrum and there was no way that the boys would get to see it.

Months pass of Billy falling more and more in love with his soulmates who are already in love with each other and it hurts so good. Steve and Eddie never make him feel like an outsider the entire time he’s there but sometimes, his touch starvation reminds him of just how much he’d love to be squeezed in between them in any way possible.

Graduation comes and goes and Billy refused to let his father take his achievements away so he graduated valedictorian, dragging Eddie kicking and screaming past the finish line to graduate. Billy gets to make his speech, loudly supported by everyone and he makes sure to thank his newfound family for all of the support they’ve given him.

Of course, graduation wouldn’t be complete without a graduation party so they all get drunk and party in Steve’s house to celebrate six graduations especially Billy and Nancy who graduated valedictorian and salutatorian respectively. Both Jonathan and Nancy planned to go to the same college in Chicago while Robin and her girlfriend, Heather were heading to California soon. Billy had also gotten into the same college but he wasn’t sure about going because he’d be leaving so much behind, including his soulmates.

By now, Billy was in love with both of his soulmates and unbeknownst to him, they were both plently enamored with him and they’d been trying to build up the courage to ask him out. The party had been slightly delayed because Billy was getting his casts off about a week after graduation and they wanted to do shots, something that really wasn’t advisable with a cast.

Billy had planned to initially conceal his mark using makeup but a large part of him knew that it didn’t matter since Steve and Eddie were happy anyway so he didn’t bother. After all, both Steve and Eddie loved to show off their marks at every opportunity and no one gave a shit about Billy. Somehow, Billy had managed to keep his mark a secret from everyone but he knew Heather had some suspicions.

After some time, the drinking games start and somehow, Billy’s mark is revealed either in a dared striptease or by accident during a dare and it quickly sobers him up. He doesn’t notice at first but then Robin drunkenly pointed out that they had matching marks and the sober gaze of Eddie was too sharp for Billy to meet, instead choosing to run away, stumble to his car and hit the gas to the quarry.

It’s only there that he allows himself to breakdown and to mourn the end of what was a good friendship he had going on with his soulmates because he was sure they would want nothing to do with him now. He’s only just begun to run out of tears when he hears the telltale sound of Eddie’s van, meant to drive Nancy, Jonathan, Heather and Robin home later but was most likely currenly holding the last people Billy wanted to see.

For a moment, he considers running again but his Mama didn’t raise no coward, so he wipes his tears and stands his ground. Steve was a lot drunker than Billy was when Billy had left but it seemed he’d sobered up during the ride because he was clear-eyed when he was grabbing Billy and making sure that the blond wouldn’t run away.

Steve and Eddie trapped Billy in between them, in what seemed like a mockery of his fantasies only to have them play out right in front of him. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that his soulmates would tell him that they wanted him, that they loved him and wanted to take care of him and love him. Sure, it was after an argument about why Billy felt the need to hide but he had expected rejection or at the very least a mutual ignorance of his mark. He’d never considered it a possibility but the two were convinced to try and convince him to give them a chance.

After more than a few tears and attempts to get them to realize they were better off without Billy and his baggage, Steve and Eddie stubbornly managed to convince Billy to try with them. A few kisses convinced Billy to leave his car behind so that they could get it in the morning but for now, Steve and Eddie wanted him in Eddie’s van so they were sure he wouldn’t run.

The entire ride, Billy’s mind was trying to convince him that Steve and Eddie were better off without him, that he didn’t deserve this and that he was a fraud ruining a perfectly happy couple but Steve instinctively knew something was up and he’d had Billy laid across his lap with his hair being stroked to keep the bad thoughts away while Steve affirmed Billy of all of their feelings towards him.

Halfway through the ride home, Billy was asleep and Steve had no problem carrying the younger boy into their bed so that they could finally hold him the way they wanted to. Billy had long since told them of how lonely he felt in his room but as much as they had wanted to invite Billy to literally sleep with them, they hadn’t wanted to cross any boundaries.

Tonight though, all Steve and Eddie wanted to do was to fall asleep holding their newly found soulmate. Billy awoke to Steve’s warmth cocooning him and Eddie coming in to wake him with breakfast in bed. After a hearty meal, Steve and Eddie asked if they could court Billy to show him how serious they were about their feelings for him and Billy found that much like before, he couldn’t say no to his soulmates.

When Billy implies that Neil gives him a really hard time when he showers for too long, Steve let’s him know that his door is always open if he wants to bathe in peace. He told Eddie the same thing when Eddie was smelling a bit rank and confessed his hot water had been out for a while. Lets them both know where the spare key is in case he’s at work when they need to use the shower.

The problem is that Steve hasn’t exactly let the both of them know that, well, the both of them have permission to use it. It’s worked out so far, though. Billy shows up pretty consistently at a specific time and day of the week. Usually weekends. Eddie, though, he’s a bit more unpredictable. Says he showers when he feels like it. He just hopes the bastard doesn’t decide to show up on a Billy day.

When Steve pulls up to the house and sees both the Camaro and Eddie’s van in the driveway, he braces himself for whatever argument he’s about to walk into but when he opens the door it’s eerily quiet, except for the sound of running water. “Guys? Hello?” The shower turns off. Steve walks over to the bathroom and tries the doorknob. Suddenly, the door swings open almost knocking Steve over.

“Woah! Hey, Steve,” Eddie grins. Out walk both Eddie and Billy, towels hanging low on their waists and… Steve’s brain short circuits. “Uh, hello? Did you just?” He stutters. “Good to save water, ain’t that right pretty boy?” Billy grabs another towel from the closet and starts drying off his hair. Steve gives him an incredulous look. “Relax. We showered together in high school. This ain’t much different.”

“I mean, yeah… but that’s… this was a choice.”

“Don’t think too hard about it,” Eddie winks, moving past him. Eddie’s towel keeps slipping down and Billy nags him saying he should just go without it if it’s not going to stay up. Stops him in the hallway to fix it as they make their way down to the kitchen to raid Steve’s refrigerator for snacks, leaving Steve standing there with his hands on his hips.

CW: discussions of predatory behaviour.

He’s the youngest of the three, a fact that is all too easy to forget.

Sometimes, when he’s reminded, it’s something mundane, like when the boys have a disagreement and Steve, to ease the tension, jokingly ruffles Billy’s blond curls with some quip like, “respect your elders,” as Eddie nods sagely with a barely suppressed smile.

Other times, it catches him off guard, like the time he’d passed Billy a cup of coffee, “black,” (like he’d ordered) then watched, not without amusement, as the boy’s nose had crinkled in disgust at the first sip.

But then, far too often he’s reminded in moments like this. When the kid’s cornered by some self-serving adult.

This time it’s Karen Wheeler.

He watches as she crowds Billy, manicured talons glinting as she strokes the length of his arm. His back is pressed up against the Camaro, knuckles white where he grips the handle. When he sees a predator cornering it’s prey on Tv Jim’s skin pricks, just like it is now. He’s caught the live show and Billy sure as hell isn’t the predator.

Jim pushes himself out of his car, takes a breath, and tries to swallow the acrid anger rising in his gut. He needs to be calm. Diffuse and extract. He repeats this mantra as he strolls over.

“Billy!” the kid starts hard and turns, anxiety clearly coursing his veins. Karen just looks up, clear irritation spreading across her face.

Jim hates her.

He forces a grin “hey kid,” he shouts, flicking a pointed stare at Karen as he does, before focusing on Billy “why you still here? Pool’s shut, isn’t it?” Billy looks a little perplexed as he replies, “yeah, I was just, er, leaving, right Mrs Wheeler?” he turns back to the woman, who has at least taken a few steps back. She doesn’t look even slightly phased as she corrects him in a sickeningly sweet voice, “we’ve spoken about this Billy, call me Karen,” as she bats her eyes in a way that makes Jim want to knock her out.

It’s an image he allows himself as he closes in on them, stretches his grin further and says “with all due respect Mrs Wheeler surely Nancy and Mike are home by now,” she has the audacity to puff up at the dig “I was just about to head home Hopper. The kids will be fine for a bit,” Jim keeps smiling, “ of course Mrs Wheeler, you get back to your kids and I’ll take care of this one.” he says it in what El has affectionately dubbed his ‘Chief Voice.’ It leaves no room for argument. With a slight huff Karen shrinks back, sends one final sweeping glance at Billy, before retreating to the safety of her car with a sharp “Goodnight.”

He watches pointedly as she drives out of the car park, then turns to Billy. He’s strung tight, trembling and pale. Jim braces himself, ready for an argument as he speaks“you aren’t driving anywhere like this kid, get in my car,” he’s surprised when Billy complies. Jim follows suit, puts the car in drive, there’s no destination for now.

Billy’s shaking hands curl into fists as the car pulls out onto the road. Jim waits, gives the kid time to process. The silence is long but when the words come they’re seething “I was fucking fine,” he hisses, “I don’t need your fucking help,” he’s gritting his teeth, snarling like an animal, hackles raised. Jim won’t rise to it, he knows this is the ‘fight’ part of Billy’s wiring, something he calls upon constantly. Instead he simply and calmly states “no you weren’t, and yes you do,” eyes fixed firmly on the road.

His periphery catches the lock and load in the kid’s throat as Billy’s teeth grit impossibly harder, he twists in his seat and pulls the trigger as he roars “What the fuck do you know?!” it’s fucking loud, splits Jim’s ears, but he keeps his composure, because Billy is a fucking kid and he’s a fucking adult. Plus, Jim knows he’s being pushed for a reaction, violence is the only language Billy knows especially when it comes to adult men, and Jim will never speak it, no matter how hard Billy tries to make him.

He waits for a beat, listens to the kids laboured breathing before speaking deliberately and slowly,“she’s a predator Billy, old enough to be your mother. Hell, her daughter is older than you. She shouldn’t be anywhere near you,” he glances over, sees a little bit of the anger dissipate as Billy retorts “yea I know that,” he leaves a beat before adding “you old fucker,” and Jim does nothing but raise a brow, refusing to take the bait. He lets Billy stew until the silence becomes too much and the kid continues just to break it, “it doesn’t fuckin matter, it’s always like this, I know how to get away, it’s fuckin fine, I don’t need you,” he spits the word need like it’s poison on his tongue.

Jim gets it, he knows this visceral reaction to offered help is nothing but Billy’s innate survival instincts kicking in. The kid has never been able to trust an adult to protect him, never been allowed to need someone like that. He has no logical basis that would allow him to just trust Jim. But Jim is a stubborn ‘old fucker,’ determined to become someone Billy can trust. But to build that trust Jim needs to get through to the kid, and to do that, he knows needs to push, needs Billy to accept some sort of help. So that’s what he does, he pushes a bit, calm but firm “what were you gonna do Billy?” silence hangs, “to get yourself outta there?”

It takes a while but eventually Billy frowns and mumbles “dunno, but I’d have done something,” and Jim needs to drive his point home so he takes a bit of a risk and asks “would you have shoved her? Hit her?” and that gets a reaction, the kid shoots up straight-backed with an emphatic and horrified ‘No,’ and Jim isn’t proud of it but he has to keep pushing so he says pointedly “then what would you have done?” and the only answer he gets is an exasperated “ugh. I don’t. Fucking. Know.” the silence that settles is suffocating.

When Jim breaks it he treads carefully, speaks slowly as he chooses his words, “exactly Billy, you don’t know. Unfortunately, that isn’t a situation, though by god I wish it was, where I could’ve just arrested her. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong, it just means our justice system is shite,” Billy flashes a brief smile at that “ so because I can’t just cuff her, we need an alternative plan.” Billy opens his mouth, likely to protest again, but Jim soldiers on “This is what is going to happen, you’re going to give me your work schedule. I’m going to give you one of my kids walkie talkie things, because it can reach my radio. If not me, someone from my team will be in the car park for every late finish and you are going to contact me with the talkie thing if you end up in a situation where you need me to come and get you immediately, Ok?” Billy doesn’t speak straight away, stares out into the darkness before answering in a voice that cracks just a little “fine, whatever old man.”

With that Jim lets the tension bleed from his body. He needs to speak to Billy more, needs to sit him down properly, have repeated conversations with the kid about personal safety, consent, hell maybe even stranger danger with how reckless he can be sometimes. But that is for another time, now he needs to get him somewhere safe, so he just says “great! Now where am I taking you?” Billy shakes himself a little “just home,” Jim questions that, pointedly glancing at his still slightly trembling hands, “is that wise right now?” Billy frowns a little but changes his answer, “Munson’s” Jim smiles. Eddie is so well attuned to Billy, he knows the kid will get nothing but comfort as soon as Eddie lays eyes on him (he also knows Steve will be with them in a flash).

He makes the short drive to Eddies, cuts the engine outside and turns to face Billy, “I’ll get you a talkie and give it to Eddie or Steve tomorrow ok?” Billy stares at him shocked. He looks so young, so lost, like he can’t comprehend the idea that Jim isn’t just all talk, it takes a while but he gets a quiet “yea ok,” before the kid is suddenly yanking the door open, turning to slam it shut with a brief muffled “thanks old man” slipping through the gap, before he’s off practically sprinting to the door.

Jim chuckles to himself, at least it’s better than ‘old fucker,’ he waits for Eddie to open the door, sees the blatant look of concern as he gently slides a hand into Billy’s and pulls him across the threshold, just catches a glance of Steve who’s staring worriedly at his cop car before the door swings shut. Jim sighs starts his engine and heads home.

Billy’s the youngest, the most vulnerable of the three, sometimes it’s easy to forget.

Sometimes it’s vital to remember.