#stillcrushing

Okay so maybe I fell of the face of the Earth, but it was necessary I swear!

Right before Remembrance Day I got an email saying I was accepted to Concordia for a major in Creative Writing. It is such an honour because this is a really tough program to get into and the only school in Canada to offer a major in creative writing. Everywhere else only offers minors.  

SO Jam and I took off to Montreal the next day to find an apartment. My best friend, Becky who lives in Ottawa met us there and hung out with us for the weekend. It was so nice to see her. After looking at EIGHTEEN apartments we decided to go with the 17th one in lil Italy. It’s an amazing hood. 

The day after we got home I started work on this kids tv show, which really only confirmed that the film industry no longer appeals to me, nor nourishes my own personal development. ON OUR EIGHTH DAY OF SHOOTING our lead actor broke his ankle and the entire show was shut down. Insane. In my 6 years of working in film I’ve never even heard of this happening. 

For me, this is perhaps the way it needed to be. Though I could have used the paychecks and it’s a goddamn sin this performer broke such an important joint, it has been a huge load of stress off knowing that I have more time to organize this move. And oddly enough the day the show was shut down I had two lengthy phone conversations with my best friends because they needed me, and had the show still been up and running, I wouldn’t have been able to be there for them. 

Going back to school is crazy. There is so much to organize and I’m mostly concerned that I will forget something and let Jam down because of course during this crucial time (and the Holidays) he is away at sea. Such is our life. 

The wild thing about going to Montreal spur of the moment is that I think Jam and I are the closest we’ve ever been. There’s this sort of reassurance and stability in us now - we are doing this together, me and him, just us two. 

I have been eating well and my digestion has been great. I still can’t put weight on for the life of me, but I think if I was able to work out more that would help. While I was working I only got to the gym once a week. Each time I focused on my weak ass back, but still. I’m still doing crush, but I’m not really following the structure of the program. But I love the days and the way the exercises are paired up. And back day is my favorite - hurry up and grow, back!! And no, the results from my genetics tests are not in yet, mid January they say now. 

I had a small binge the other day and it really just reminded me that I don’t even enjoy eating my trigger foods, so why even bother attempting to binge in the first place. I’m a little concerned about how the pressure of school will affect my eating, but luckily Jam will be home for the first 8 weeks of classes and he is just the best. He keeps me on track and accountable. 

My goals over this Holiday is to continue eating clean and try to hit my macros. I am going to the gym every day with Becky to help her with lifting, so I think while she does cardio each day at the end of our split, I will do an additional exercise to isolate a muscle in my back and burn it. I need to start doing my physio exercises again. I haven’t exactly lost more mobility, it’s just weaker, like it’s more difficult for me to hit what limit range of mobility that I do have. So I think I should stop being a wimp and just do my physio exercises and probably some yoga for good measure. Suck it up V.