#stilessmut

“Y/n... “ He sat next to you, grabbing your hands. “Don’t tell me you are fine. Something is wrong… I… I know I shouldn’t have but... “ He didn’t have to say anything more. You knew he had been in your room. Why wouldn’t he. He was your best friend and you knew his habits. “So you found my shirt.” The nonchalant way the words fell off your lips seemed to make Stiles angry. “Yeah I found your shirt. Are you kidding me?! No one knew about this? You need a hospital!” You shook your head.

“I went and saw Mrs. McCall. I had to go again today because I tore my stitches.” Stiles just stared at you. “I didn’t tell anyone because it didn’t matter. I am fine.”  You could feel the anger rolling off of Stiles. You wouldn’t need to be supernatural to feel it. He stood up, pacing his room. His hand viciously running through his hair. Which you had grown to love as it has grown. That is when you really started to look at him. Stiles looked tired, exhausted even but the concern that was all over his face was what got to you. He was truly mad about this. “You realize that you lost a lot of blood right? Like a lot, and you walked to the hospital from the warehouse, then I am assuming you walked home. None of which you should have done. I could have driven you! I WOULD have driven you. I asked if you were okay. I was told everyone was okay. YOU said you were good. Clearly you were not good. God… I could have been at the hospital with you.”

His last words were quiet, but you still heard them. “Stiles. It didn’t matter. I got to the hospital, and it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It didn’t seem like I was anyone’s concern anyway until after I was gone. I got stitches in my chest and ribs. Nothing is broken it just hurts.” You couldn’t look at him, watching him run after Lydia today was enough. “I don’t understand why you are so mad. Yeah we are supposed to be best friends… but… I’m not Lydia.”

Your voice broke on the last words and Stiles stopped pacing. “What?” You stood up, you couldn’t be sitting here in his room and talking about Lydia. The tears were pricking your eyes and it was only a matter of time before the dam broke. “I’m not Lydia. I could be lying there on the floor dead and it wouldn’t matter because I am not Lydia freaking Martin.” Tears slid down your face as you turned away from him. Crossing your arms hurt your shoulder but you didn’t know what else to do.

There was a beat of silence before you felt Stiles’s hands on your sides, resting gently. “No. You are not Lydia Martin. You are Y/N Y/L/N. It would matter. It would matter so freaking much. You could have died. I would have been completely lost without you.” Stiles gently turned you so that you were facing him. “What’s going on? Really? Other than the obvious.”

You wiped your tears and looked at the floor. It is now or never. “I like you a lot Stiles. More than just hang out and watch tv, like… you are my Lydia Martin.” It seemed like Stiles suddenly got it. He pulled away from you and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I’m sorry. I’ll go.” As you turned to leave Stiles grabbed your good arm stopping you. “You are not my Lydia Martin. You are my Y/N Y/L/N. Lydia was a distraction from what I felt for you.”

Shock. That is what you felt. Stiles liked you back, more than liked you. He was angry because he almost lost you. “Why is her stuff in your room?” Stiles snorted. “She left it in the Jeep. I forgot to bring it to her today.” It made sense and you weren’t going to question it. “So uh… I saw your shirt.” Stiles looked nervous now. “Can I see?” You watched as his strong hands reached for the collar of your shirt, pushing it aside with the slightest brush of skin to skin contact. “I grabbed this arm earlier. I pulled your stitches.” You ignored him, and lifted the hem of your shirt to reveal your ribs and the bandage.

As his hand slid up your side you shivered. “Did that hurt?” His whiskey brown eyes held to your grey eyes. “No.” He examined the injuries and then pulled you into a hug resting your head on his collarbone. “I should probably get home.” You didn’t want to leave, but you didn’t really know if he wanted you to stay.

“And what, go home to an empty house? How long is Hank gone for this time?” You almost forgot he had been to your house. “Most likely three more weeks.”  The angry tone was back in Stiles’s voice. “You are not staying there alone. You are sleeping here. I grabbed a bunch of clothes and stuff. You are staying here.” Before you could protest, Stiles was running down the stairs. When he got back he held one of the huge lacrosse bags he had given you a long time ago. With a quick glance through everything, you realized he grabbed just about everything you would need.

“I don’t have a shirt to sleep in.” You laughed but it was almost like a sigh. Stiles, ever the dutiful friend handed you his lacrosse shirt. Your favorite shirt of his. With your running shorts and his shirt in hand you went to change. When you came back into the bedroom Stile was typing something on his laptop. “I ordered pizza.” He turned and his mouth dropped. “What? Is… is something wrong?”

Stiles shook his head. “I never realized how much I wanted to see you wear my clothes.” He got up and walked toward you, and pressed his lips to yours. If he hadn’t been holding you up, you were pretty sure you would have collapsed right there on the floor. If you died right now, you would be content. “I have wanted to do that for so long.” He whispered as he pressed his forehead to yours. Instead of diving in like you figured he would, he hugged you. “Movie?” You nodded. “Good.” You climbed on his bed and got comfortable. After a few moments Stiles disappeared and came back wearing gym shorts, an old t-shirt and had pizza with a few drinks. It was like old times, sitting on his bed watching tv or a movie. Stiles knew you had wanted to watch the new Avengers movie, and it was already queued up.

Halfway through the movie Stiles had moved the food to his desk and pulled you into his side locking you in. The reality was you would have to watch the movie again because the last half was spent with Stiles’s tongue in your mouth. It felt like a dream, and you knew you would wake up any minute now. So taking a chance, you slid your hand down and palmed his growing erection. A groan left Stiles’s lips, then he suddenly pulled away. “Sorry, I just… I figured.” You were floundering. Maybe he didn’t want you that way.

Stiles gently lifted your face to look at him. “Don’t be sorry. I have been dreaming of that since the 5th grade. Believe me, control is not easy with you now that you are my girlfriend. But I can’t… not when you have stitches. I already tore them once. If we do this I could hurt you.” Watching him panting, trying to hold back was not helping you. All you wanted was him. “Your girlfriend?” Trying to lighten the mood. “I.. uh.. I mean..” You laughed. “Stiles. It was a joke, you were always better at the jokes. We could just… we could touch each other it won’t hurt anything.” You could watch his resolve break. “Ye-yeah… okay.”

His lips were back on yours as his hand slid beneath your shorts. When his fingers touched your core you whimpered. “You’re this wet because of me?” “Always. Watching you play lacrosse, watching you take down a big bad, watching you nerd out, watching you sass Derek.” A groan left Stiles and he slipped his fingers into you. Soft moans and whimpers filled the air as he hooked his fingers hitting you perfectly. His lips traveled to your neck, careful not to mark anything. When his thumb rubbed your bundle of nerves the knot in your stomach exploded. His name slipping from your lips before he captured them in his own.

Finally when you came down from your high, you noticed that Stiles was looking at you with a sense of awe. His expression only changed when your hand snaked beneath his shorts and boxers palming his large erection. “Shit.” Gripping him in your hand you stroked him until his eyes were rolling back in his head. “Fuck… Y/n… I’m…” His abs tightened and without hesitation you leaned down, pulling him into your mouth as he released. Your name filled the air as he filled your mouth. With a swallow you leaned back, feeling the ache in your stitches from moving so fast and carelessly. You winced a little when you laid back down. Stiles’s lips were on yours, tasting himself on you made him groan. “You… if I died right now…” That brought a smile to your face.

“Are you okay?” He really looked at you this time. Analyzing like he does. “Yeah, just… maybe moved a little too quick. I didn’t pull any stitches though.”  He cupped your face, gently rubbing his thumb on your cheek. “Take it easy.”  

They had been inseparable, and there was a thing between them. Emma had an unrelenting crush on Stiles, and well Stiles had one too. It paramounted his crush on Lydia. That was a schoolyard crush compared to this. But now, after the Nogitsune issue... now he couldn't fully look at her.

Then Jackson went and made that stupid joke. Now Stiles has been MIA for 4 days. Emma was restless. No one had seen him, Scott couldn't track him. Malia wanted to but no one would let her track him down. She said something about knowing his scent better. That confused Emma, but she didn’t ask. Now she lay in bed letting the thoughts course through her brain.

The Sheriff was gone for a conference for a few weeks, so he wouldn't know where the kid was. He wasn't home yet his Jeep was. Emma's heart jumped straight into her throat when her phone rang. It was almost 2 am. That was never a good sign.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded tired. On the other side of the line she could hear shaky breathing. "Stiles?" An exhale signaled to her that it was him. "Oh god where are you? Are you hurt?" There was silence on the line, and she jumped out of her bed, throwing on a sweater over her tank top and shorts. "Emma..." she held her breath waiting for him. "I'm... uh.. I'm at home." He sniffled into the phone.

"Don't go anywhere Stiles." Before you could finish he cuts you off. "Don't call the pack. please... don't. Just..." The way he was talking scared her. "No I am not getting off this phone with you. Hey. I am coming to you okay. Don't hang up." "Okay."

She drove like a bat out of hell, breaking every traffic law she knew existed. Thank god she wasn't pulled over. Emma tore her keys from the ignition when she parked her car behind the Jeep. "I'm here." She expected Stiles to have to unlock the door. "It's unlocked." His voice was low and defeated. The terror in Emma's stomach subsided enough for anger to replace it. Why would Stiles leave the door unlocked? Where the hell has he been? She wanted nothing more than to scream these things at him, but she couldn't.

"Stiles?!" she yelled as she hung up, entering the house and making a point to lock the door behind her. The house was dark, but there was a glow coming from upstairs. When she cleared the stairs and entered Stiles's room he was standing by his window. Emma noticed that he was in clean clothes, and his hair was starting to dry. Taking a deep breath she could smell his soap, the minty yet musky smell that made her week at the knees when combined with the smell of Stiles.

She wasn't a wolf, she was a plan human but everything about Stiles made her senses heightened. "Where have you been?" Emma's voice was soft, trying not to let the fear come through. Stiles turned around, and his eyes were rimmed with red, he had been crying, and not sleeping from what she could tell. He looked broken. Like he did when they pulled him from the rags the Nogitsune puked up.

"The hale mansion. No one is there." There was silence. Emma swore they checked there. "Jackson is an asshole, and his joke was in poor taste. No one believes you are still him." She blurted. Stiles's soft eyes met hers, she knew he wasn't. His, Void's, eyes didn't look like that. His body didn't fidget like that. "He might be right..." Stiles's voice was low again. Emma knew that he really believed that he was still Void. "How do I know this isn't a trick too."

Emma took a step closer to Stiles. "Count your fingers." "Did." "Read something?" "Did." "Then what makes it feel like a trick?" Stiles looked down at his hands. "I'm always cold. I feel like I did when he was controlling me. I don't feel him in my head, but it is like my body isn't mine." While he spoke Emma kept walking closer. Being in close proximity to Stiles made things harder for her because she missed him. She still wanted him, and loved him. "There are things he made me do, made my body do that I wouldn't have done."

Emma's mind flashed to a particular moment where Void had cornered her, tried to play on her feelings for Stiles. It didn't work, because she knew better. "You're not him. You are Stiles Stilinski. Not possessed by a thousand year old spirit asshole."

"How do you know?" He watched as Emma took his hand, resting it under her tank top on the skin of her side. "You're hands don't feel cold. Not like his. They may be cold to you, but they are warm to me." She placed his other hand on her other side. Emma's hand reached up to his neck, and he licked his bottom lip, one of Stiles's nervous habits. "You fidget, always moving. He was too still." Emma stepped closer, lifting up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his.

Stiles hesitated, his hands squeezed a little. When Emma pulled away he looked shocked. "You look surprised. He wouldn't have." She spoke with finality. Stiles just stared at her, but she could see his wheels turning. He gently pulled his hands away and stepped back. Rubbing his hands. Emma instantly thought she overstepped. Ruined the friendship that was hanging on by a thread. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." For the first time that night she sounded scared.

"Deaton was wrong." Stiles laughed a little, it made her heart sing to hear the sound again. "What?" Stiles stepped closer to her again. "He gave me the wrong anchor. My hands... they aren't cold to me anymore, my neck... it isn't cold anymore." Emma wanted this to be true but, it couldn't be. "It's because I was warm Stiles. You feel the residual heat from my skin."

His head shook. "No. I... It wasn't... in Eichen... when Ms. Morel told me to stay awake... Malia and I... I shouldn't have, but he was there in my head and he took that away from me." Emma's heart sunk a little, and everything with Malia made sense. They were together in Eichen. Handed her his VCard and his sanity to Void. "Wherever her hands were, it was still cold. There was never warmth. But I remember him touching something, and it felt like it was burning him but warming me."

Stiles was ranting but Emma knew what he was talking about. Void had his hands on her. "I fought him. I didn't want him to take that away." Stiles was just talking now. "It was you. How could I have been so stupid. Of course it would be you." He was pacing now, acting like his old self.

"You're not stupid, Stiles. Who could have known?" Emma's voice sounded wounded. Stiles's eyes trained on her as he stopped pacing. "Me. I should have known. You are my anchor because I have the strongest bond to you." His eyes bore into hers and she felt herself shiver. "W-what?"

Stiles took her face into his hands. Pressing his lips to hers gently. Emma was too eager to kiss back. Opening her mouth to let his tongue slide in. A groan escaped him as her hands wound into his hair. When he broke away to let them breathe, he rested his forehead on hers. "I thought you had the epic crush on Lydia." "Nope." He popped the P. "If you would have been my anchor this wouldn't have happened. I still don't know if this is really happening."

The weight of what he was saying hit him, and he pulled away from her. Feeling weak in the knees, Emma sat down on the bed. The emotions running through her were erratic and exhausting. She let a yawn slip.

"Fuck. I woke you up." Stiles realized what time it was. Emma waved him off. "Stiles I haven't slept in 4 days." Concern creased his brow. "Why?" He sat down next to her. "Because my best friend was missing."

Emma laid her head on his shoulder, but Stiles tilted her head to allow him to kiss her. "I hope you didn't just friendzone me." He whispered. Emma's body was going into overdrive as Stiles's lips were on hers, and his fingers brushed her neck. "Nope." She popped the P like he did. Something in him snapped, and he had her straddling his hips, sitting on his thighs while he leaned on the headboard.

Stiles lips were on her neck, hands sliding under her shirt. Emma's hands were on his sides as she enjoyed the feel of him on her. "Touch my skin please." Stiles begged. Emma obliged and slid her hands under his shirt touching his toned sides. His body shivered and she could feel his erection under her. Without much thought her hips ground down making contact with his rigid erection. A breathy moan slipped from his throat, and Emma gasped at the contact.

Suddenly Stiles was staring right into her eyes. "Is this... this is real..." "Very.. Off." Emma tugged at his shirt and Stiles made quick work of getting them both topless. His hands explored all over her body, groaning every time she pressed into his chest. When his hand slipped under her shorts and his fingers brushed her it sent a visible shake through her. "Emma I need you." His voice was husky and desperate. "I'm yours." She lifted herself off of him to remove her shorts while his pants came off.

Seeing him like this made Emma shallow thickly. She wanted this for so long, but she was still scared. She expected him to want control, to be on top but he resumed his position. "Are you sure you want it this way?" Her voice shook. He nodded his head. "I thought you wanted control." His hands rested on her hips. "I will know this is real this way." Emma nodded and positioned herself above him while he made quick work of the condom.

This would be her first time, she was terrified, but she wanted this more than anything. Stiles helped her as she sunk down onto his length. FIlling her to the point where she had to clench her eyes closed. Her breathing was fast and uneven. Stiles's hands were rubbing her sides, and she could tell he wanted to thrust up, but he was controlling himself. His lips met hers as he tried to take her mind off of the sensation overload.

After she relaxed, Emma expected him to grip her hips and fuck up into her. Instead, Stiles's hands rested on her hips and gently helped her rock on him. Little moans escaped his lips making her even wetter. They set a pace, Stile lifting up into her as she rocked forward hitting her perfectly every single time. Emma's hands were in his hair, and on his sides. Touching every inch of him that she could. His lips were all over her neck, chest and shoulders. "Stiles... I..I'm... " Stiles leaned back a little to look at her. "I'm so close Em." He snapped his hips up, drilling her hard sending her over the edge letting filthy moans escape her lips and chanting his name. Seeing her come undone did it. Stiles buckled under her, rolling his hips as he filled the condom. "oh shiitt... Em!"

They sat there connected for a moment. Their chests heaving trying to calm their hearts. Stiles helped her move off of him, then got up to dispose of the condom. As the high dropped reality crashed down on Emma. What if he doesn't want her like she wants him. By the time Stiles came back, he was in black gym shorts, and Emma was fully dressed again sitting on the bed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Stiles seemed concerned. "Fine. I should, uh... I should probably go." She stood and started walking past Stiles. His hand gently grabbed her arm stopping her. Emma felt the tears pricking her eyes. "Em. Don't... don't go. Please." She turned to look at him and she could see his face fall. Stiles's hands cupped her face. "Em, talk to me. Please. You're freaking me out."

"I know this is a one time thing, I just... I like you more than a friend Stiles. I always have." "I don't want this to be a one time thing. This wasn't a one time thing for me. I feel like me now and that is because I need you. I want you. You pull me back." Stiles pulled her into a hug and held her. "Please stay with me."

When the words registered a second time Sky had her keys in her hand and she was running out the door to her car, only faintly hearing her dad yell after her. She hung up on Scott and rushed to Beacon Hills Memorial.

The halls were buzzing with people and Sky was frantically searching for someone, anyone who could tell her about Stiles. She was caught by Kira as she was passing one of the waiting rooms. Entering the room she found the rest of the pack, Kira the good friend that she was to Sky, let her have the seat next to Scott.

The three of them, Stiles, Scott and Sky had been friends for years and after Scott was bitten and they jumped right into the supernatural world, Sky and Stiles got closer. Kira knew this, she also knew that Scott and Sky needed each other for comfort.

No one had any information, and everyone was getting impatient. Sky fidgeted next to Scott listening as Lydia fumed. “I’m going to resurrect that Witch just to kill her myself….” She stomped a wedge clad foot.

“That would be useless Lydia.” The Sheriff’s voice made Sky’s eyes snap up to his tired blue orbs.

“What happened?” Her voice didn’t even sound like her own.

The Sheriff stood, his hands on his hips, finally looking down and to the floor. “He must have had a panic attack when he got to the top of the stairs. He fell and hit the hardwood floor. I found him on the floor unconscious, and brought him here.”

“Okay…” Everyone seemed to be stunned into silence. Most likely thinking of all the things that could be wrong with Stiles. Sky on the other hand was studying John’s body language, relaxed yet tense. Contradictory. “What isn’t being said?”

It was then that the Sheriff looked right at Scott and Sky, ignoring everyone else in the room. “He has some memory loss. MRI’s have been done, and it isn’t FTD. In fact his brain is rather healthy considering. I think uh, Deaton could explain it best.”

Dr. Deaton walked into the room as if he had been casually standing outside the door. Sky hadn’t realized that she had been holding Scott’s hand the whole time until he squeezed her fingers in return.

“It appears that what young Mr. Stilinski experienced is not supernatural, or life threatening.” Everyone breathed out. “However, with what everyone was subjected to this evening there is a contributing factor. His memory loss is due to the physical trauma as well as mental influence.”

Deaton paused for a moment, letting the information sink in before continuing.

“It is like holes in the memory, but he isn’t conscious to the fact that something is missing. At least not at the current time. He doesn’t remember certain events, and people.”

“What do you mean by that?” This time it was Scott, his voice panicked.

“The only people in this room that Mr. Stilinski remembers is his father. He has no knowledge of the supernatural, or those that were involved in it. Even though you were friends before, the supernatural is rooted so deep in his memories of all of you that he doesn’t remember who you are to him. He knows you exist, and who you are, but not to him.”

A silence fell over the room as everyone realized that Stiles wouldn’t remember who they are. Sky tried to keep her nerves tame. She wasn’t in the habit of falling apart in front of people, and she surely wasn’t going to start now. Digging her nails into her palms trying to keep calm.

“Can we fix it?” Jackson’s voice broke the silence. Everyone looked to him. Sky was thoroughly surprised that he even cared.

“It isn’t a science simply because it is a mixture of supernatural and biology. As far as the supernatural goes… giving him something to remember something that cannot be given to someone else. You have to make him want to remember.”

“That isn’t vague enough.” Jackson huffed. “Why do we even ask you for help.”

Deaton smiled and took his leave. The Sheriff assured everyone that besides the memory loss, Stiles was fine. A little bruised but he will be coming home tomorrow. He asked them to give him some time before they pushed, and tried. John saw the look in Sky’s eyes as she was leaving, almost like she was completely lost.

“Skylar.” His fatherly tone stopped her in her tracks, her hand pausing on the handle of her car door.

“Yeah?” her voice broke.

“I want him back too, but you know why I ask for time right?”

“If his brain is caused too much trauma he might revert into total memory loss. Potentially triggering something Stiles, you, and myself are terrified of.”

Sky wouldn’t look at the Sheriff, but she knew that she had hit the nail on the head. He pulled her in for a hug and told her to drive safe.

+++

Days went by.

Sky watched as Stiles went to his locker, and to his classes and to Lacrosse practice. He couldn’t play for a while, but he had to be there even if he was on the bench. The hardest part was classes. Stiles and Sky shared 4 classes together, usually sitting next to each other every time. Sky was sure to sit a seat or two behind him, that way she knew he couldn’t look at her.

That was one of the things that almost broke her. Occasionally she would make eye contact with Stiles and she desperately wanted to smile at him, instead she looked away and kept walking or working.

It had been about two weeks. Stiles had no memory and most of the pack seemed to be okay knowing he was alright, but Sky was almost like a zombie. Scott would squeeze her shoulder, or offer her a comforting smile but he had Kira. Everyone had someone. Sky usually had Stiles. Now she was alone.

Today was particularly hard, today… they had Chemistry Lab and Sky was anything but in the mood to deal with Harris. She slumped down in her seat, doodling on her notebook before class started.

“Before everyone gets comfortable. Come pick a number from the bowl at the front. We are assigning lab partners for the remainder of the semester. Chop Chop.”

Sky huffed, got up and got in line to grab her number. Finding the assigned table and sat at the end and continued doodling, hoping she wouldn’t be miserable with her partner, and that she wouldn’t have to do all the work herself.

She was only distracted from her pen and paper by the scraping of the chair next to her. The person sat down, drumming their fingers on the table. When she looked up, Sky’s heart almost stopped. There sat Stiles. She felt the need to cry, how could the universe be so freaking cruel to her.

Sky took in his appearance. He was still toned and strong, his hair in disarray. Worn converse loosely tied. She watched the muscles and tendons move in his strong arms as he tapped. Running with the wolves had done them both good, and god Sky hated the fact that she had been becoming attracted to her best friend.

“Hey.” Stiles’s voice was the same as it always had been, maybe a little nervous now.

“Hi.” Sky still sounded defeated.

“Uhm… I guess we are partners for the rest of the semester.” His brows furrowed in a bit of confusion. “I’m Stiles.”

“I guess we are… I’m Skylar.”

Stiles tapped his foot, and looked right into her eyes. “I know.”