#stiii

“you saved the ship. you saved us all. don’t you remember?”

(full disclosure search for spock is possibly my favorite of the tos movies i know this is kind of a weird favorite but yeah)

so he's got someone else in his head and he doesn't even know it because nobody asked his permission, he doesn't know what's happening, he doesn't know why he's under psych observation, he can't tell what's real and what's not and he's losing chunks of time and speaking in tongues and think how terrifying that must be and he's all alone

and then he gets arrested and thrown into lockup all alone again and he still doesn't know what's happening to him because somehow no one explained anything to him between when jim figured out what was happening and when he sent bones to procure illegal transit???  jim what the hell is wrong with you

that scene where jim finally comes to get him is so great and by great i mean terrible because the poor man is trying to sleep with his coat for a pillow (i just want to cover him up with a blanket) and look how happy he is to see jim and to realize that jim has a plan and is actually going to fucking tell him what's happening this time

and if what's happening is all down to "that green blooded son of a bitch" well at least now he knows

also a great scene is on the bridge when he speaks in Spock's voice and everyone stares at him and he just goes, "did i get it right?" and he looks so soft and vulnerable in that moment

like

i like to believe that at some point around this time he pulls jim aside and says, "will you do me a favor?"

"yeah, of course, what is it?"

"it's like," and he tries to explain what it's like to be in his head right now but the words jam up in his throat.

"bones?"

he just looks jim in the eyes and says, "please don't leave me alone again."

and then jim realizes and what's more he realizes that bones isn't even blaming him for it but there's no time to explain how sorry he is for this so he just says, "not for a moment, bones, you're with me now."