#stevezahn

Many call Chicken Little the worst Disney animated film. I disagree. I’d rather watch this over Mulan 2 or The Wild. That's not to say this film is good. There’s not much going on story-wise, it’s never funny and the soundtrack alternates between dated and irritating.

You know the story of Chicken Little right? About the dumb bird who sat beneath a tree, felt an acorn fall onto its head, and, thinking it was a piece of the sky, got all of the other animals of the barnyard riled up for nothing? This film picks up after the embarrassing incident. Chicken Little (Zach Braff) is constantly ridiculed for his mistake. But what if he didn’t make a mistake? What if a piece of the sky DID fall on his head... because the sky is teeming with flying saucers equipped with advanced chameleon-like technology?!

This film's stretching it big time. This 81-minute plot could've been resolved in a standard episode of a television series. Before Chicken Little and his friends Runt of the Litter (Steve Zahn), Fish out of Water (Da Molina), and The Ugly Duckling (Joan Cusack) discover the aliens we have to sit through 45 minutes of nothing. Chicken Little dodges bullies, introduces us to his acquaintances and then the extraterrestrial business comes out of nowhere. There’s no buildup or clues. It’s like the pilot of a television series, and then a random episode where Martians show up.

At first, your hopes are raised. Chicken Little is resourceful and clever, and you feel for him. These characteristics do not lead to anything. Although the aliens look pretty cool (they're stand-ins for the “War of the Worlds” tripods) they're not interesting either. Nothing but standard invaders who show up and start tearing up the place. Considering the ending, their actions make no sense.

When you have a weak story and a hero the audience will be disappointed with, you need to up your game, give us something extra. This is where things start tumbling out of the sky. We get two characters who speak entirely in catchphrases and only appear to produce “funny” reaction shots. Other characters like The Runt of the Litter provides exactly one joke repeated over and over (he’s fat! He likes to eat! We get it).

You'll find a few clever gags here and there. A magazine called “Cowsmoopolitan” or a background sight gag if you look hard. The stuff front and center? It'll make you wince. Almost as much as the soundtrack. You could fill your entire “2000’s music BINGO” card watching Chicken Little. Barenaked Ladies, Five for Fighting, R.E.M., and a host of other hits that haven't been hits since 1977. Needless to say, it culminates in a scene in which everyone dances to a pop song. It worked in "Shrek" and then hardly ever since.

Chicken Little looks great and initially, it'll have you interested. The longer it goes, the thinner your patience gets. The constant references to better films (Men in Black, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Signs, Alien and several other sci-fi alien flicks) won't amuse you. None of the jokes will. Combined with the weak story and numerous plot points that it seemed no one put any thought into (the "love plot" with The Runt of the Litter, for example), you've got a movie that would've been dismissed upon release and then completely forgotten soon after... if it didn't have the Disney name attached to it. (On DVD, April 28, 2015)

(2) Christian Bale in Rescue Dawn, 2006

Joy Ride

Steve Zahn caught in compromising position w/ Salma Hayek & Penelope Cruz.