He Loves Me (Not)
Title: He Loves Me (Not)
Fandom: Be More Chill
Ship: Michael Mell x Richard Goranski
Warnings: Mentions of sexual activities, nothing explicit, bad relationships, cheating, denial, angst, tons of angst, drinking,Ā
Summary: Michael and Rich are in no ways in a healthy relationship. But Michael keeps trying to convince himself that Rich still loves him.
Story under the cut
Michael didnāt know when it started, but he knew that he was used to it by now. That Rich could probably stop sneaking around, and could just tell him where he was going. Shit, they had been dating for almost 2 years now, and Michael could tell him just by the look on his face, and his clothes where he was who he was with and what they were doing. More times than not, having sex.
The first time Michael could remember, was four months after they got together. Michael saw a hickey on Richās neck, a dark one, after he had told Michael the night before that he couldnāt hang out because his dad was making him stay in. The first sign that that wasnāt right, was that Rich never listened to his dad. Second, even if he did, Richās dad was never sober enough to notice his son. And the list could go on. But he didnāt know what to do after that. But he went to his best friend, Jeremy, to see what he should do. Jeremy told him to leave him, sayng Rich didnāt love him. But for some reason, Michael didnāt leave him, and he had screamed to Jeremy, āhe loves me!ā
The second time, was at a party. It was Jakeās new housewarming party, and everyone was invited. Even the people who caused his last house to break out into a fire. So, there he was, though his terrible anxiety just made him mole up in the corner. Rich was there to comfort him though, which was sweet enough. But then he said he was going to get Michael a drink, which he appreciated, but instead of going to the kitchen, Rich went upstairs. And Michael sure did see. He also saw the girl following him in. You could say, Michael did the same thing as he did at the last party he was at, chanting to himself, āhe loves me..ā
After that, Michael could notice how everyone looked at him in the halls. There stares, there looks of pity, amusement, and sometimes jealousy. At first Michael just curled farther into his hoodie, trying to hide from them, but by the end of that month, he just slunk down the hall. Rich noticed this, and trying to be a good boyfriend, said he would protect him from anyone who dared hurt him. Michael didnāt believe it, because Rich never did protect him after that, but it was still a nice gesture. And he kept reminding himself, āhe loves meā¦ā
Michael started noticing more and more after. And each time, he cried less. He showed less. His heart broke, less. He had realized, this wasnāt the Rich he fell in love with.The Rich he fell in love with, was a dorky, nerdy boy with an adorable lisp from freshman year. The one he always noticed, but his best friend always looked over. The one that would be called āDick Goranskiā as a taunt. But he soon realized, that Rich no longer exists. This was a Rich who had been meticulously trained by a super computer to not care about anyone else but himself. This was the new Rich. And everytime Rich went off and hooked up, or partied, or just, wasnāt there as a boyfriend should, he was so close to breaking up with him.
But he didnāt. Because he saw the old Rich in his eyes. He saw the boy who tripped over his own shoes. The one who absolutely loved science. The one who Michael would occasionally say hi to, and call āRichie Richā. Whose laugh was pure gold, and lit the entire room. Michael felt like he could get that back, though he knew he couldnāt. And he tried at it too, only to be pushed aside and ignored for ābetterā things.
Rich wasnāt always so bad though. He was great in bed, which Michael had to give him some credit to. He knew just how to make Michael feel good, and he could take him so well. His moans were music to his ears. And after everytime, Rich would cuddle into him, and kiss him softly, saying āI love you, Michael Mell.ā And it was so personal, and so sweet, he felt like he was falling all over again. And he would make food for them sometimes, and he would sometimes pamper Michael, make him feel loved and cared for, before leaving again for the night. He would also buy him gifts, like new headphones, or the latest games, though Michael preferred the older ones, but that didnāt mean he didnāt like them! He thought those would make up for everything Rich did. He truly believed that Rich caredā¦
Tonight, was no different from the other times. It was there two year anniversary, and Michael had a magnificent night planned once he got home. But when he did, he found the door unlocked, and clothes leading to the bedroom. Sneakers, high heels, flannel, cardigan, t-shirt, dress, panties, jeansā¦ And he got to the door. And he heard it. Moans, from a man and a woman. He could recognize the mans moans, for he had heard it underneath him before. He also heard the creaking of the bed, the same he heard when it was him and Rich, the one that just gained to the heat of the moment. Michael could feel the tears weld up, but he pushed them back down and sighed softly. He walked away, going to the liquor cabinet and grabbing the vodka. He went into the game room and waited until they were done. Maybe they would celebrate laterā¦ When Michael was more important and convenient to Rich. And Michael would once again try to convince himself, āHe loves meā¦ā
