#steve:

I can practically hear Steve saying, “I didn’t run him over with a car. I hit his car with another car.”

 I don’t think there’d be a police report. Who would report it? Billy’s dead, and the mall just freaking exploded. There are bigger things to report on than Steve’s fender bender. And any footage from Starcourt probably ended up in the hands of the FBI and burned.

What I do think would make it onto the internet and that people would spin so many theories off of is Billy’s obituary and the new reports about the mall fire. I think there was probably a story spun that not only made Hopper into a fallen hero, but also painted Steve and Robin two dedicated mall employees that saved a bunch of kids from a fire.

How else do you explain their injuries?

Everybody is pretty sure that Steve hit someone with a car, but some people think that this is all just a bit that Steve and Eddie do about Steve not driving anymore and that it wasn’t that serious. There is a good chunk of the internet that thinks that Steve killed Billy and started the mall fire to get rid of his body. So, there’s that.

Steve thinks its all ridiculous, “Can a guy not be in a little accident without your internet friends accusing them of being responsible for the Hawkins murders?”

“Is it an accident if you intentionally crashed into someone?”

“It wasn’t my intention to hit him,” Steve shrugged. “My intention was to not see any of my friends flattened into roadkill by a psychopath in tight jeans. That was just the only option I had.”

“Why’d you remember his jeans?”

“… I thought we were talking about the vehicular manslaughter that I didn’t commit.”