#steve grayson

I'm so used to having the title card with Elvis singing open up the movie, that it's very jarring to have action happen right away. For an opening that's meant to get you hooked for more, all we get is lackluster exposition regarding Steve preparing for a race. I understand that he's supposed to be a racer but why should I care about him winning this one race when we're just meeting him? "Speedway" plays over b-roll of the real life Charlotte Motor Speedway in North Carolina. Too bad Elvis himself is rear screen projectioned in as all racing footage is b-roll. At least they showcase the real life top named stock car racers such as Richard Petty outside of the opening credits so racing fans have something to enjoy. Oh wait.

I do appreciate that there's a lot of secondary characters to fill in the scenery but too many of them with speaking roles are introduced at once. It'd be one thing if they existed to specifically set up the location, but Steve's pit crew is introduced all at once and will have absolutely no individual character traits. In a movie that's meant to be a comedy, the only thing that's mildly funny is how superstitious the racing world is. One guy kisses the lucky rabbit's foot in his car while another one ups him by taking out a whole rabbit. It's a quirky visual gag.

Steve of course wins and immediately any suspense I had is lost. There's no immediate answer to the question "so what" and it will never be answered. Nancy Sinatra plays Susan Jacks who works for the IRS to investigate Steve's income vs his deductions. The whole premise is weird and I won't bore you with my accounting and tax background on why. It all boils down to the movie's idea of what IRS collecting agents do and how inaccurate it is. I don't like poo pooing movies for not being 100% accurate because I get that to some degree you need artistic licensing. The problem is that nothing involving Susan's character and situation is entertaining to me.

I'm skipping through a lot but in all honesty it's nothing but padding. Steve handing out money for this down on his luck guy and his kids means nothing to me. It's a pitiful attempt to answer the "so what" question given that if things were that bad, these kids would not still be living with him. I don't find these kids charming and it's obvious they want to have a "cutesy" factor because it worked so well in previous movies. All I can think about is how if the dad was that down on his luck that him and his children are sleeping in his car, there would be a lot of law enforcement involved since you have at least one girl who's barely 3 years old. Steve being in the racing circuit means traveling across the country so I have no idea how he's able to keep up with financially supporting this family.

Imagine my surprise to find that at least a year has passed in this movie since it's covered by one montage of Steve winning races. This only makes the Susan issue worse since at some point you would think Steve would question why she's following him everywhere the past year. It also makes "He's Your Uncle, Not Your Dad" painful to watch because we waste so much time getting to the inevitable scene where Steve finds out how bad his tax situation is. It feels like a propaganda piece that comes off as insulting. We get it, paying your taxes is important. We don't need a song number about it and everyone's faces says it all: Kenny doesn't care about Steve's eventual problem, Steve looks like he's miserable as get out and Gale Gordon looking at both of them like "oh my god I have to deal with these people". I felt like Steve sitting in the office as Gale Gordon reads off all the hokey deductions Kenny tried to make. It's another example of how nothing this is. Does it suck that Steve now owes $145k in back taxes? Yes but it's not like he's being arrested for tax evasion. They just want their money and know him winning his races will accomplish that.

I'm about an hour into this and we're just now getting to the actual conflict if you can call it that. Steve looks annoyed but it's not as if he actually fires Kenny for preparing his returns incorrectly. I get that they want to poke fun of Elvis for the things he did in real life, but even Elvis cut people out of his life once he stopped liking them. For someone that's supposed to be a life long friend, Kenny has been nothing but a creep and just isn't funny at all for someone who's supposed to be the comedic sidekick. Like him making up this wild story about a zoo escape just to keep a woman from going home isn't funny. If anything I "laughed" more at the woman knocking him out with how justified her reaction was.

In a not at all shocking turn of events Susan falls for Steve which completely compromises her position with this case. The reason why I say that is because she's supposed to be a neutral party to this yet by falling in love with Steve, this would create a conflict of interest. It's amazing how the movie is progressive for having a woman work in a pretty powerful entity like the IRS, yet reduces her to the love interest. The funny thing is, the more sexist option of having Susan just be Gale Gordon's secretary actually makes more sense to the overall story. Either that or be even more progressive by having Susan just be Gale Gordon's character so the subsequent consequences actually feel earned. I get that in real life you would have an agent regularly check in, but from a narrative perspective, it's just repetitive since this is your main conflict. The result is that both Kenny and Steve badger Susan just so they can get back to financially supporting themselves. She has absolutely no say in this decision so it makes both of them unlikeable even though the movie wants you to think this is all Susan's fault.

It gets even worse when you have Steve barge into her hotel room to confront her. The writers clearly had no desire to write a good romance as we literally go from seeing Susan running for her life as Steve chases after her to them kissing. I'm sorry what? I can't even begin to describe how disjointed everything is where it's obvious nobody actually read the whole script to see if scenes actually flow together. Not to mention how Steve even doing this makes him look like a monster even in the context of this universe so you really wouldn't want to support this relationship. I get that this is meant to be his breaking point but again THIS IS NOT SUSAN'S FAULT. As I've already stated, the only person responsible for this entire situation is Kenny. So for him to put that on Susan not only makes him a bad person but it also makes the decision to have him fall in love with Susan just terrible writing. I'm beyond confused at how Elvis and Nancy Sinatra had a very good rapport behind the scenes only for none of that to come out on screen.

So Steve ends up in debt because Kenny has a gambling problem and not even that is enough to fire him. But it's ok as with the big race coming up, just doing well enough to win any cash prize will be enough to at least cover Kenny's gambling debt and buy back all the repossessed items. Seriously why bother even having stakes when your problems are pretty easy to resolve? There's being a slice of life movie and there's being painfully boring. Even when Steve randomly crashes despite being the only car on the track, the montage of everyone fixing the car feels flat. Because based on everything you've seen, of course the car's going to be fixed in time. The only so called humor is the dad being stuck in the back seat and having to be physically removed through the front side window as there are no back doors. He's just frozen in place because he was just going over 100 mph after waking up in the "backseat" which doesn't make sense either but moving on.

The final race is a snooze fest and at this point you forget that Paul was his rival. From a narrative perspective he's supposed to be another antagonist but he's not. Steve kept winning or at least placing in his races so there's no rivalry. They're not on equal ground based on what's shown in the movie. It's not even set up where they're rivals in universe but to the audience it's so one sided that Paul talking trash would be funny. There's just nothing to the point where Paul shouldn't even exist as a character. Even Clambake had a better set up than this as you at least had Scott interact with Jamison throughout the movie. With Jamison you at least understood that him being a creep towards Diane had a point. Kenny being a creep with women is practically played off as comedy when it's not funny. I know I'm going on a lot of tangents but it's because Speedway gives us nothing and there's only so much b-roll of actual racers you can watch before you just want the movie to end. After all everyone knows it's just going to end with Steve winning.

Actually it won't. Steve doesn't win the big race. Wow. This subversion of expectations would actually be a fun twist if it genuinely mattered. But it doesn't. Steve wins enough money to pay off Kenny's debt. Of course he still owes $137k in back taxes but forget all that let's go clubbing! I know they mention how he has a long way to go since no one actually expects you to pay off that kind of debt right away, but it's still the concept of it. You feel frustrated that the whole movie built up to this only for nothing to really happen. Clambake at least had an intrapersonal conflict where Scott's trying to see if he's liked for his personality as opposed to his nepotistic roots. Here I know nothing about Steve outside of him being a professional racer. Therefore I do not care about whether he wins or not. After all it's not like anything actually changed.

Sure Steve isn't in immediate debt anymore but that doesn't mean it won't happen again. Steve is treating the symptoms of poverty and debt before treating the actual cancer that is his manager Kenny. In other words, Steve winning this one race doesn't mean Kenny kicked his gambling habit. Steve winning this one race doesn't mean the father got a well paying job that allows him to provide for his children. Nothing that caused Steve to actually be in this position was changed. All he did was win enough money to no longer deal with the immediate negative consequences. Why should I be happy knowing this could all happen again if Kenny makes one bad bet? But who cares when at the end of the day none of what just happened actually matters am I right?

I have no idea why the choices that were made were made since you have Nancy Sinatra being Nancy Sinatra when she's supposed to be an otherwise ordinary woman who works with the IRS. Even if you don't know who she is, the movie itself is just awful with many scenes only existing for padding and a painfully boring story. I'm amazed that watching this movie made me realize I was actually quite harsh on Harum Scarum. Is it nonsensical and very cringe inducing? Yes. Is it a rehash of something Elvis had already previously done and is boring as sin? Absolutely not. Speedway manages to be all of the above. I had very little joy watching it. There's so little plot that you can easily turn this into a short film. The songs add nothing and if anything demonstrates that duplicating successful Elvis movies means nothing if you don't understand why they were successful in the first place.

When combined with a terrible romance and a horrible use of characters this is the worse Elvis movie I've seen so far. If you're a fan of any of the demographics this movie is trying to target do not watch it. Elvis looks like he's permanently trapped at the IRS office with how irritated he looks most of the movie, Nancy Sinatra has absolutely no charm with how boring her character is, and racing fans would feel totally ripped off to see big name racers like Richard Petty get his own name card in the opening credits only for that to be his only appearance. This is a 3/10 simply because I don't know how bad a movie needs to be to genuinely deserve a lower score. It's so beyond shocking how we go from King Creole to this in the span of a decade. The movie being a box office success is the best example of how just because something is popular doesn't mean it's good. And this movie quite frankly is not good at all and is only another brick in the proverbial wall that is Elvis' Hollywood career.

An: Man. I don't like skipping over songs or a lot of scenes in the movie, but I just couldn't find it in me to go through it all in full detail without copying and pasting my live reaction blurbs during a watch party. What a way to celebrate Valentine's Day. I thought this movie was going to be mid at worst but I was shocked at how bad this was. I wish I had a better movie that showcased a strong romance but oh well. Better luck next time I guess. Let's hope March gives me a "pot of gold".

Tagging: @codalysssssworld, @presleysweetheart, @smokeymountainboy, @arrolyn1114, @peaceloveelvis,

@mercsandmonsters, @eapep, @atleastpleasetelephone, @without-him, @lucy114505,

@blighted-star, @rjmartin11, @elvisbdoll, @dragonkingsdaughter, @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke,

@ilovequeen978, @fuzzymusic94, @halieghhh, @tacozebra051, @hooked-on-elvis,

@lola-1013, @father-of-2cats, @southcarolinawoman, @elvisflowerchild, @elviscinema,

@i-r-i-n-a-a, @jadeeloveselviss, @xanatenshi, @thelonelyheart, @vintagepresley,

@iloveelvis2, @elvisfangirl92, @angelelvis, @chihirolunvh, @epcoffeelovenotes,

@jd5824, @ahundredlifetime, @alienelvisobsession, @eptodaytommorowforever, @freudianslumber,

@wanderingelvis, @lustnhim, @lvrdollep, @georgefairbrother, @bioshockpunch,

So to expand on what I was thinking in Danny's tidbit, the beginning clearly shows that black people live in this neighborhood. Yet the scene where Danny goes to school has not a single black student. Granted it could be chalked up as an oversight since the school really only appears once, but it does reflect what New Orleans was like. While segregated schools were deemed illegal in 1954, enforcing that took time. New Orleans wouldn't have desegregated public schools until 1960 (2 years after King Creole was released). Even though black people don't really get a lot of attention, we do see black musicians in Maxie's club. Since we don't see Maxie mistreat them similar to how he mistreats Ronnie or bosses Shark around, we can assume that at the very least Maxie maintains a professional relationship reflect the shift in attitude towards enforcing desegregation. That's why I'm sticking with this taking place in the mid to late 1950s.

The Wikipedia page for this movie says Danny is 19. Like I said, if he was only repeating his senior year the first time that would make him 18 going on 19. He doesn't drink any alcohol nor does he serve alcohol. His original job is a busboy which you can be as young as about 16. For simplicity's sake, Danny will be 19 since he likely would've turned 19 over the course of the movie.

I didn't give Steve a rank but it's still fun to discuss history. For instance, the strongest clue that we are in the mid to late 1960s involve using real life racers in the opening credits. Stock car racing has been super popular in the south since the 1940s, but the real life Charlotte Motor Speedway wouldn't be opened until 1960. If we assume that Richard Petty in the movie is the exact same as the real life person, then his racing career started in 1958 with his best season being in 1967. Buddy Baker while he raced since 1959 wouldn't get his first win until 1967. If Steve Grayson is a very successful racer while these real life racers are participating, then this movie would actually need to be before 1967. And not just for one season but multiple seasons since Steve owes $150k in back taxes. Prize purses wouldn't be that big for Steve to owe that much in one tax year. While the cars used in the movie do include 1967 models, you can still assume that we start in 1964 and then after the montage it's now 1967.

There are many NASCAR series with the youngest racer ever varying, but the typical age limit is 18. Steve doesn't have a canon age, but the real life racers do. Going back to the assumption that everything happens the same way, Richard Petty would 30 and Buddy Baker would be 26 in 1967. For Steve to have his best seasons before 1967, he likely would be older than both of them. Therefore I would put Steve at about 31-32 years old.

This movie is so hard to pinpoint regarding time period with anachronistic it is. You have Blackie talk about a guy having Confederate money which only makes sense if this was 1865 immediately after the Civil War ended. Confederate money essentially became worthless once the Confederacy surrendered so there would be no reason to try using it to buy anything let alone gamble. At the same time you have Johnny singing about dating Lillian Russell who wouldn't even be born until 1860 and wouldn't be famous until at least the 1880s. Knowing that Mardi Gras wouldn't be a state holiday until 1875 doesn't help because we have the characters already know how a masquerade party operates and the Madam Pompadour costume references a woman from the 1700s. The Nellie Bly reference doesn't work either because the real Nellie Bly was born in 1864 and was never a stage performer as she is most well known for her trip around the world in 1889. There's also the issue that radios nor phones seem to exist, yet Johnny is singing black spirituals that wouldn't have known recordings until the 1920s. I just can't break it down any further than late 1860s-early 1920s based on everything we were given being true at the same time.

We know almost nothing about Johnny. He doesn't even have a last name. The legal gambling age doesn't help since the riverboat Johnny is on operates to specifically skirt around state laws and neither would the legal drinking age for the same reason. With cars not existing in plain sight and drivers licenses not even existing until the early 1900s, we can't go off of that either. Judging by his appearance let's just say Johnny is about 30.

I talked in great length about the US-UK relations so I'll focus on how the US-Belgium relations history. The people in Belgium treat Guy favorably meaning the people as a whole didn't see Americans as an enemy. Favorable relations existed since at least the 1800s and still exist today which isn't all that helpful. Belgium doesn't speak English at the same rates as their neighbors so we can't look at a specific date where it became an official language. Therefore we have to look even closer at the cities in Belgium that are featured/mentioned: Brussels and Antwerp. Brussels is big enough that uncle Gerald wants to send Jill to a boarding school there with the economy as a whole experiencing a large growth from foreign investment in the 1960s. As for Antwerp, there was a decade plan from 1956-1965 to modernize their ports. We don't get to see much of it, but Guy and Jill going to the S.S Damocles out of desperation shows some of it. The ship itself is so rusted up, that it looks out of place in an otherwise clean port. Therefore I stand by my opinion that this takes place around 1966.

I already talked about Guy's age in my tidbit and I don't really have anything else to add. I still stand by having him be about 31.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danny gets into multiple altercations and even fights Maxie while he has a gun. Since Danny survived that fight without getting shot, that boosts his case. His fight against Shark involved a knife and while they should both be disqualifying factors, Danny didn't need to rely on a weapon to win. Shark dying from getting stabbed was an unintended consequence. Danny won because he overpowered Shark which still requires both skill and strength.

Danny does look scrawny. However, he isn't starving. Mr. LeGrand I imagine would allow him to have a cheap meal in between shows. With how successful his shows are after Maxie dies and the city as a whole experiencing economic growth, Danny can live quite comfortably. With his act being very physical, Danny's stamina at his age can only get better. Easily A tier.

Steve punched a man out. And that's it. One punch isn't a fight by my rules so it's disqualified from counting towards a rank.

Racers while not bound to a specific weight do prefer light drivers. As much as Steve has over $100k in debt, he won't starve. His skill as a racer hasn't declined, so he would still be able to live somewhat comfortably. Outside of that, Steve would be mostly sedentary and could only stay fit on his own time. While he would probably still be in B tier he does not rank there's nothing in canon that shows his skill level.

Johnny fought a drunk Braden that ended with Braden getting hit by Mitzi with a champagne bottle. That's outside interference which disqualifies the fight from counting towards a rank.

Johnny is in constant gambling debt on a riverboat. He works there and wouldn't go hungry if he's part of the entertainment group. With how successful his latest act is, the need to gamble is gone. He would be able to live comfortably and unless absolutely necessary, wouldn't need to fight. I would put him C tier as he would just be average, but his only altercation doesn't count so he doesn't rank either.

He only has one fight but it's against a trained hitman. But he won. Without a weapon or outside help. That automatically makes him above average.

Similar to Danny and Johnny, Guy would have a comfortable lifestyle. He even admits to such as he gets a decent amount of money doing international shows. Assuming Jill gets her full inheritance eventually, Guy being married to her means he likely won't have perform to live anymore. He stays in B tier since he does still have skill past 30 but I think Danny could beat him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To summarize this part:

Danny is in A.

Guy is in B.

Steve and Johnny DNA and will not get a rank.

Tagging: @callieselvisobsessed, @vintagepresley, @somethingaboutelvis, @tupelomiss, @eapep,

@freudianslumber, @makethemorning, @southcarolinawoman, @thelonelyheart, @ssinnerplazahotel,

@squaggleson, @hooked-on-elvis, @smokeymountainboy, @swingdownsweetchariot, @suraemoon,

@be-my-ally, @thatbanditqueen, @pledgingmylovee, @arrolyn1114, @foreverlovingelvis,

AN: I tried to include everyone but I'm not sure if my tags went through.

Tagging: @mercsandmonsters, @vintagepresley, @angelelvis, @elvissluttiestwhore, @ashtag6887,

@tupelomiss, @thedaisymaisy, @richardslady121, @arrolyn1114, @theelviseffect,

@elvisbooty76, @theladyofmylife, @xanatenshi, @just-another-boring-bisexual, @aliengoth3, 

@phil2135561, @gayforelvis, @ash-omalley, @eptodaytommorowforever, @wildhorseinkansas,

@alienelvisobsession, @pledgingmylovee, @presley72elvis, @leopardandstuds, @ellie-24, 

@heart-of-ep, @thatbanditqueen, @starboybutler, @be-my-ally, @myradiaz, 

@jaqueline19997, @louisejoy86, @peskybedtime, @lookingforrainbows, @kiankiwi, 

@your-nanas-house, @januarypresley1969, @justrae9903, @codalysssssworld, @burnthheparaphilia,

@joshuntildawn13, @briefpandatimemachine, @sillybookmarks, @tacozebra051, @cattcb, 

@perfectpresley, @vintagegirl50s60s70s80s, @lett-them-eatt-cake, @therealslimshakespeare, @j-v-9-2,

@almightybigbrain, @pinkcaddyconfessions, @msamarican, @hooked-on-elvis, @doll-elvis,

@queencreole1958, @queenncreole, @thelonelyheart, @theelvisprincess, @arianatheangel-girl,