#stereklyrics5

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Stiles had walked out of Derek's apartment. Derek had expected to see him again, had hoped for it even. He reminded himself that it was for the best. Getting attached was what got him hurt in the past. Stiles was no different than Nick, or Andrew, or Braiden, or Jennifer or... He couldn't even think the last name. The one who truly hurt him. Took advantage of him in the worst way. Made him the truly jaded person he was.

Derek tossed back another shot, his eyes scanning for a potential one night stand to get his mind off Stiles. Erica, his best friend, had drug him out after hiding in his loft, in hopes of Stiles coming back.

A melodic laugh, caught his attention, making his heart leap in his chest.

"Stiles, don't look now, but there's a really hot guy at your nine o' clock eyeing you hard," Allison whispered loudly in Stiles' ear.

Stiles had broken up with Theo and cut Derek from his life. He was trying to concentrate more on himself and his friends. He was currently out celebrating Allison's birthday. It was the first time he'd been out in weeks.

Stiles swiveled his head to see who Allison could be talking about. His stomach churned and his heart flipped at the sight.

Allison frowned, noticing the way Stiles' face paled. "What's wrong?"

"I need some air," Stiles said, sliding from his chair then. He beelined for the exit, he couldn't do this. He couldn't break down now. He ignored the concerned calls of Allison, Scott and Isaac.

A gust of cool evening air washed over him as he stepped outside. He gripped at the wall to steady himself. He never imagined seeing Derek would elicit such a strong reaction. Of course, he'd not imagined seeing Derek after only a short period of time. Theo had been easier to get over despite the fact that Theo called him constantly, begging for one last chance. The lack of Derek's calls hurt Stiles more than the tears in Theo's eyes ever could.

"Stiles."

The familiar voice saying his name, made him stiffen. There's was no inflection. No hint as to what Derek was thinking or feeling.

Stiles decided to take a page from Derek's playbook and remain silent.

"It's been a while," Derek continued.

Stiles closed his eyes. He could practically feel Derek's hands running down his back. Feel the scratch of his beard on his neck.

"I didn't see Theo in there," Derek tried again, his voice slightly softer.

That caused something to snap in Stiles. He whirled around; his hands clenched in fists. "I thought I wasn't supposed to talk about him. Isn't my relationship none of your business?"

Derek's jaw clenched and Stiles saw the walls going up, but he couldn't give in to Derek again. He would never get over him otherwise.

"I just assumed you'd have come back after you left him," Derek's tone was sharp and his shoulders tense. He shouldn't have come after Stiles. This had been a mistake.

"You said you were gonna leave me either way, so why bother?" Stiles snapped. He'd never been so snappy with Derek. It felt good and wrong at the same time.

Derek dropped his head slightly. "You knew where I stood going into this."

Stiles felt tears prick behind his eyes. "And I thought I could handle that. I was wrong."

Derek's eyes met Stiles' again, his expression softer now and apologetic.

"So why are you out here? Why come talk to me?" Stiles snapped. He couldn't handle this. Seeing Derek; it hurt.

Derek opened his mouth to respond but realized he didn't have a reason. Or he did and he just wasn't man enough to admit it to himself much less Stiles. His mouth closed and he dropped his head once again.

"Right," Stiles nodded. Derek had hoped to sleep with him again. That was all Stiles was good for.

He stepped past Derek, to leave. He'd apologize to Allison later.

"Stiles, wait," Derek grabbed Stiles' arm pulling him back.

Stiles found himself chest to chest with Derek, their breaths tangling with how close they were.

Derek dove in then, pressing his lips to Stiles' in a hungry kiss.

Unable to help himself, Stiles melted into the familiar taste of Derek despite his brain screaming at him to stop. Their lips and tongue's slotting together effortlessly like they'd done this hundreds of times. They had. This made Stiles pull back finally, breaking the kiss abruptly.

Stiles turned to leave, but Derek's hand was still around his arm.

"Where are you going?" Derek had hoped for one more night. That's all he needed. Just to wean himself off.

"To pretend you never existed," Stiles sneered, before jerking out of Derek's grasp.

Derek's jaw clenched. Clearly those words had hurt Stiles. He regretted saying them now. He could go after him, but once again bitter experience kept him planted as Stiles climbed into his jeep and drove off.

- part 2 -

A low moan in Derek's ear, that closely resembled his name, made him bite down on the neck his face was buried into. A pleasured hiss told him it was enjoyable. His hands slid down the body hovering over him, his fingers digging into soft flesh as they went.

"Derek," Stiles whimpered, lifting himself off Derek's lap slightly before pressing back down slowly, dragging an agreeable sound from the other man's throat.

The pressure building in Derek's abdomen had him gripping harder at the man on his lap.

"Shit," Derek bolted up, his breaths heavy and his eyes struggling to adjust to the dim lighting.

Another dream. Derek dropped his head. He felt the wetness in the sheets. That was the second time this week and this was the third week of this.

Derek threw the covers back, glaring at his clock on the side table before padding off to the bathroom. It wasn't even seven a.m. Guess he was up for the day. He always had a hard time falling asleep after a dream like that.

It had felt so real, even after all this time. He'd memorized the way Stiles had felt and sounded so well he sometimes forgot that they were just dreams.

Derek stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the disappointment from his body. He only wished it could wash away the disappointment inside too.

"He's not worth it, Derek," he told himself. He often found talking about it out loud to himself helped. "He wouldn't be good for you."

Only part of him believed that. Another part said that he was the one not good for Stiles. But then there was the tiniest sliver that said that maybe they were exactly what the other needed. He shoved that part down deep, pretending it didn't exist. It was easier not to think of it.

-

Stiles plopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote off the table on his way. He'd spent all day at work and then spent the evening having dinner with his dad. To say he was worn out was an understatement.

The station was understaffed as of late, so he had an extra work load and he just wanted to rest. So when someone knocked on his door, he couldn't help but let out a small groan. It was almost ten o'clock at night, who could possibly be at his door at this hour?

He didn't even bother putting on a shirt as he traipsed over to the door and swung it open.

His breath hitched.

"Stiles," Derek breathed out almost in relief. He hadn't expected Stiles to answer.

Stiles remained frozen in the doorway.

Derek's eyes raked over Stiles. He had always found Stiles incredibly attractive and right now in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, Derek was reminded of his attraction.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles demanded, finding his voice finally. He felt nervous under Derek's gaze. He was suddenly very aware of how naked he was.

"I...miss you," Derek admitted quietly.

Stiles rolled his eyes, anger washing over him.

"Not like that," Derek added hurriedly. "I mean, not only like that."

This caused Stiles to frown.

"I miss talking to you. I miss your smile. I miss hearing about work. I miss listening to you complain about Scott. I miss spending time with you," Derek found himself admitting things he never imagined saying out loud.

Stiles' frown deepened. "How drunk are you?"

"What? Not at all," Derek shook his head. Sure, he'd had a drink before coming over, but it was just to give him the courage to say these things. He was far from drunk though.

"You miss me?" Stiles asked skeptically.

Derek nodded, swallowing hard. He was regretting this already. Damn Erica and Boyd for convincing him.

"You're sure you don't just miss the sex?" Stiles crossed his arms.

"Well of course I miss the sex, the sex was...beyond great, but I hated when you left. I hated watching you go back to Theo over and over again. I hated waiting for your call all the time," Derek took a half step forward as if asking Stiles' permission to touch him.

Stiles took a step back forcing Derek to refrain from reaching out.

"Why?"

"Because I...I want to be with you," Derek's throat felt tight as he spoke. The words felt foreign in his mouth.

"You don't do commitment, remember?" Stiles sneered. "So how do you expect me to believe you don't just want me for the sex?"

Derek dropped his head, his previous words had clearly left a bad taste in Stiles' mouth. Not that he could blame him. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I was, still am, afraid of the way I feel about you. Getting attached was never part of the plan. Strictly physical, that's all it was supposed to be. But you let me be vulnerable. You let me be myself with you and you wanted me despite it. You were willing to give up Theo for me."

Stiles noticed the way Derek's shoulders were hunched in shame and how his eyes reflected the worry he felt. He was expecting Stiles' rejection.

"What happened to you that made you this way? Who hurt you so bad that you can't even admit how you feel for someone?" Stiles needed Derek to be honest with him, to know that he was genuine.

"Everyone," Derek's eyes dropped.

"My dad ran out on my mom and I when I was young. My mom died before my twelfth birthday. I was tossed around from foster family to foster family. My first boyfriend cheated on me. My second boyfriend used me to get to one of my foster siblings at the time. My first girlfriend rejected me when she found out I was into guys as well. My second girlfriend cheated on me. And my last girlfriend..."Derek trailed off.

"What?" Stiles took a step forward, urging Derek to continue.

"She took advantage of me in a way no one should ever be taken advantage of. I told her I loved her, and she used it against me and then mocked me for it."

Stiles saw the hurt in Derek's eyes now, the trauma from his past visible in his posture.

"I'm so sorry," Stiles took another step forward.

"I didn't want to hurt you, and I know that I did. I was honest up front about how I viewed our relationship. I thought you understood. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I did understand, but I just wanted you to want me the way I wanted you. And I don't mean physically."

Derek dropped his head, "I do."

Stiles stepped forward once more, reaching a hand out to lift Derek's chin. "Do you trust me?"

Derek only nodded.

"Then tell me. Tell me how you feel about me."

Derek swallowed, his throat closing at the thought.

"I can't..."Derek turned his head away from Stiles. His chest constricting at the mere idea of those words.

"Would it help if I told you how I feel about you?" Stiles didn't want to pressure Derek into saying something he wasn't ready for, but he needed to know this wasn't a trick. A ploy to get Stiles into bed again.

Derek snapped his head up to look at Stiles, disbelief and hope dancing in his sage green eyes. "But you left. I thought you hated me."

"I left because I didn't want to get hurt anymore. I left because I was sure you only wanted me for the sex. I left because I love you."

Derek's heart flipped at the words he'd wanted to hear all his life. He hadn't heard those words since his mother died. Not even as a lie. His foster families never told him that. None of his past relationships had told him that.

Derek stepped towards Stiles, reaching a hand out to cup the side of his face. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Derek's heart was pounding heavily in his chest. He leaned forward, his forehead resting on Stiles'. He closed his eyes. "Again."

"I love you, Derek." Stiles obliged. He would tell Derek that as many times as he wanted to hear it. He could see how much it meant to him.

Derek dipped in, his lips catching Stiles' in a gentle kiss.

Stiles' hands pulled Derek in closer, by the lapels of his jacket, deepening the kiss. The familiar taste of Derek made Stiles' stomach flip. He'd missed Derek. The past few months had been hard for him. He'd stared at Derek's number on many a lonely night, convincing himself it was a bad idea.

When Derek finally broke the kiss, their breathes tangled between them in heavy pants, Derek whispered, "I love you too."

For the prompt: Lyrics and quotes

Inspired by the song ‘I never existed’ by Chase Atlantic

Inside the vet clinic, she listens with a tight, sardonic smile as Stiles and Derek banter back and forth, weaving the tale of their reunion.  “You convinced the FBI to bring an intern onto an extremely dangerous field operation?” Lydia asks Stiles, lips pursed and eyes narrowed.  

Derek rolls his eyes. “I'm surprised he didn't convince them he could lead it.” The reply is part slight, part praise, just another round of their endless tug-of-war.  Lydia tries not to think about who will fall first. 

“Anyway, long story short,” Stiles gestures toward Derek, “I basically had to, you know, save his life.” 

If you unraveled the story of Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, the words would span continents, developed in chapters when Lydia was merely a recurring character, spine reinforced, made stronger by years of wear, tear, and repair.  The tale Stiles tells about rescuing Derek is something straight out of a romance novel, the cheesy kind she used to hide under her bed in middle school. While Derek’s version is less flowery, it’s clear they both want to be the hero in each other’s stories.  They always save each other.

Instinctually, she doesn’t want to look too closely at Stiles’ face, illuminated in the surgical light of the exam room, afraid she’ll see the ending clearly written across his features: Lydia, holding a white flag, back against the bullet-riddled wall.

--------------------

“I should have let you board that plane to Paris,” Lydia tells Malia, statue face frozen in perpetual terror. “Should have pushed you into the arms of those mysterious French men."       

She’s lost Jackson and Ethan somewhere in the dark, deserted halls of her alma mater, and a monster lurks outside the closed classroom door, turning her friends to stone.  “I love you,” it whispers through the cracks in the wood, between the beats of her heart.  It emanates from a Stiles-shaped space inside her head, but speaks with Derek’s voice. She’s heard the phrase before, directed at her, but never with that desperate, broken edge, so sharp and jagged it shreds her apart from the inside out.  She squeezes her eyes shut, presses palms against her ears, but the words are peppermint-scented, tickling her nose, the exact scent and flavor of Stiles’ toothpaste.  

The ardent whisper of a lover. Now. Darling. Then it changes, a wolf’s growl.  Let me in.

“Fear’s pretty motivating,” Derek words from earlier ring in her ears.  She sees him, strategically positioned next to Stiles, their bodies turned unconsciously toward each other.  It’s burned onto the backs of her eyelids. “Especially when it leads to anger.” 

Lydia never imagined she’d be this afraid, but it doesn’t make her angry.  She’s enraged. 

“You can’t have me,” she tells the Anuk Ite, and thinks of her quiet strength, her loud scream, of bringing an armory full of grown men to their knees.  

--------------------

“He’s not healing,” Malia cries, desperate fingers scrabbling over Scott’s bloodstained cheeks. 

“I’m trying.” Scott’s panicked breaths echo around the library. Her stomach heaves. “It’s not working.  I can’t focus.”

Malia cradles his head in her hands.  “Hey.  Hey!  Look at me.  Yes, you can, just concentrate.”    

But he’s not healing, no matter how much Malia begs, and everyone knows what it means.   Stiles looks at Lydia, eyes desperate, unnerved.  Lydia grabs Stiles’ hand, holds on for dear life.  “Malia...Kiss him.” 

Her friend looks back at her, face incredulous.  “What?”

“Kiss him.”

There’s a collective intake of breath when Scott and Malia’s lips part, and Scott’s eyes blink open.  Something exciting burst in her chest, strange and startling, and Stiles squeezes her hand. She looks up into his face, thinking, Love can win.   

But Stiles isn’t looking at Lydia.  As Scott heals, he and Derek stare at each other, faces alive with hope.  This is what you do for me.  

Her fingers slip from Stiles’ bruising grip.

Lydia’s relationships with men have always been complicated.  The end of this one has her feeling curiously sad, like she’s lost something she never even knew she had.  But she’s smart, and even tonight, on the eve of all-out war, Lydia still learns new, hard truths. 

Derek smiles, small and almost shy as they take their places in the center of the makeshift dance floor in his dad’s backyard. There are bouquets of yellow roses and while lilies at each corner of the dance floor, put together by Lydia herself, and Stiles thinks that his dad’s backyard has never looked better. Not that he’s paying attention to that. His eyes are locked on Derek’s hand, on their matching rings, as he reaches out to pull Stiles close. It’s their first dance as a married couple, and Stiles has never been the weepy type, but as Isaac snaps pictures of them as the music cues up, he feels like he could cry he’s so happy.

Derek was put in charge of picking the music for their first dance, a task that seemed to frustrate him for weeks before he found the right song, and at first Stiles can’t figure out just what it is. As soon as he does though, tears tease the corner of his eyes. 

“Does this work?” Derek asks as the first note of “Heads and Tails” by Banners starts playing. His fingers clench against Stiles’ side, giving away his nerves that Stiles might actually say no. 

“It’s perfect,” Stiles whispers back. Because it it. Everything is. 

All you hear is emptiness and noise

Hanging on the fall of a coin

Whatever you choose, I’ll be with you

Around them, their friends and family watch them sway together. John is proud of his son, and so damn happy that he found someone that can make him feel truly alive. Despite the years of violence and danger that brought Derek and Stiles together, John knows with one hundred percent certainty that Derek will never let anything bad happen to Stiles. And that, coupled with the fact that they look at each other in the same way that John remembers looking at Claudia, is all that John has ever wanted. 

Beside him, Melissa wipes her eyes. Later, she’ll join Stiles on the dance floor for his mother-son dance. Even though she isn’t his biological mom, Melissa has always been there for him and he’s happy to share the moment with her in Claudia’s place. Derek won’t have a mother-son dance (though Melissa offered to be his stand-in too), but he will dance with Cora to his mother’s favorite song, and that will be enough. 

For now though, the moment belongs to Stiles and Derek. Stiles can’t stop smiling as he looks into Derek’s eyes. Gods, he didn’t know that it was possible to feel so warm. When he had asked Derek out two years earlier, he had expected to get shot down. Even with Kira’s assurance that Derek liked him and Lydia’s confidence that it would work out, Stiles thought that he didn’t have a chance. Instead, Derek ducked his head down to his chest to hide his smile in an act of shyness that Stiles wasn’t used to from him, and then he said yes. It was such a shock to Stiles that he stared at him for a full minute before asking if he was sure. And then Derek had rolled his eyes in a familiar way and that was that.

It wasn’t easy. Stiles isn’t sure that love is supposed to be even without werewolves and danger and near-death experiences. But they grew together, and by the time Beacon Hills finally calmed down enough that everyone in the pack could breathe without being concerned that their next breath might be their last, the bond between Derek and Stiles was unshakable. That being said, Stiles was still surprised when Derek got down on one knee one day after a normal dinner and pulled out a ring. It wasn’t a romantic setting in the least (Stiles was wearing a shirt with a stain on it for the Gods’ sake), but it was perfect for them: a little messy but filled with only the best intentions. Stiles said yes, and Derek asked if he was sure, and that was that. He never really expected a wedding, but he’s so glad that he let his dad talk him into one. Because swaying in Derek’s arms is something that he thinks he could probably do forever.

Hope in your tired eyes

Fight against the tide

Let it rise and fall and I’ll be here by your side

All I want to say is we’ll be okay

‘Cause we’ll hold it together, hold on together

“I love you,” Derek breathes. His voice is filled with awe and an overwhelming fondness that makes Stiles beam. 

“I love you more,” Stiles says, just to be a little shit. Instead of taking the bait and arguing with him like he has a thousand times before, Derek’s eyes flare blue. 

“I love you more than the moon.”

The words are said so honestly that Stiles actually chokes a little. Off to the side of the dance floor, Erica coos at them and Cora says ‘gross,’ even though it she sounds a little choked up too. 

Derek pays them no mind; he has eyes only for Stiles. “Alright,” Stiles sniffles, “you win this round.” Prodding gently at Derek’s chest, he smirks. “But don’t get used to it. Give me a little while and I’ll think of a clever comeback.”

Derek’s smile could light up the world. “I have no doubt about that, Husband.”

Husband. They’re married. Stiles gets to have Derek forever. He beams, then tucks his head down against Derek’s chest, letting the music and the pure feeling of the moment sweep him up. This is his forever, and it’s perfect.

Don’t lose your faith

It’s all just heads and tails