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Love how this is like the one time I get pissed off and actually call out my siblings on their bullshit and now the whole house isn't speaking to me. The one who has spoken or acknowledged I exist all day in this house has been my cat. Gee why do I swallow my anger and always keep a damn smile on my face? Why do I believe that positive emotions are the only ones you can show??? I WONDER WHY THAT IS!!
Well fuck them all 🖕🖕🖕🖕
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I really kinda hate my two older siblings lately. We all still live at home and they still act like they're 15 years old. My brother is almost 40. My sister is 35. Why can't they wash their own dishes or take the garbage out on garbage day or feed the cat or sweep the floors or clean up the bathroom after themselves or contribute anything to the bills in the house? Why do I have to do to all that?
And when I get pissed off at them for being selfish and rude as hell to me, I am the one who gets called an asshole.
I'm fucking sick of it and I'm sick of them both. I actually WANT to go to work tomorrow so I won't have to see them.
Today and Wednesday are my days off this week (I'm the only one in the house who works full time by the way) and I've spent all day today cleaning the house while my brother sits on his ass and eats my food that I was saving for lunch today (and he knew it was mine). The only words my sister said when she got home from work were bitchy to me and when I told her to go away because I didn't want to hear it she called me an asshole. She complains every week when she has to drive me to work on Wednesdays because she's "tired'. She works 3 days a week and does absolutely nothing else on her days off. But sure she's tired. Not me who works 5-6 days a week and does all her chores on my days off. So now I don't feel bad about her having to drive me ONE day of the week when she can go straight back to bed if she wants to.
I'm so fucking sick of them both.
And talking to them will do nothing. I can talk til I'm blue in the face and nothing will change. My mom can talk to them until she's blue in the face and nothing will happen. They will never grown up. They will never change.
This is the first year of my life where I've been seriously contemplating moving out (too bad I can't afford it and it would make my family basically destitute since I'm making the most money in the house besides my mom's part time salary and her social security money).
I fear I have proven myself to be too good of a worker lately.
We don't have any team leads working tomorrow and I just got a text from one of them asking me if I can do some of the jobs team leads handle and to be a back up for the team if they need help. And of course I said yes because making sure the team is comfortable and equipped to do their jobs is one of my favorite things to do and I love our team leads and I'm happy to help them out (and I love my team and I always do what I can to help them too).
But it makes me chuckle and want to go to our managers and be like "hey so I do this job when our leads can't.....wanna pay me more or just make me a lead too? mayhaps?"
Freaking out because of a message I got this morning and I won't calm down until I get a response to my response to it. I am spiraling and the anxiety is high. Hoping work is gonna distract me. Freaking out ðŸ˜
I genuinely cannot believe that Outlander is about to end. It doesn't feel real. Not just the fact that I still have SO MANY QUESTIONS about plotlines and such that I do not understand how they're going to wrap it all up in one episode. But really because I've been such a fan of the show for so long and it's always been there. I'm gonna miss it so much!!
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Currently trying to convince myself to send an email to my managers politely and professionally telling them that cutting the whole staff's hours was fucked up and why. I really hate stirring the pot but my floor lead is encouraging all of to email our concerns and he even read it and thought it was okay to send but uuuuuugggh sending these kinds of emails is so hard!
I never got to see Hilary Duff perform live when I was growing up.
I can't afford tickets to her new world tour as an adult.
But I can always rock out to her music every day of the year and now I have a brand new album to enjoy!? This has been me all day:
Utterly obsessed with her new album and am currently listening to Future Tripping on repeat because damn if that isn't for this anxiety riddled millennial.
Ended up staying an extra two hours at work today because it was such a hard day and chaos was reining and we were already so short staffed and our manager was being an asshole and not helping at all and I couldn't in good conscious leave my team behind to suffer when I could assist. So instead of leaving at 3 like scheduled, I left at 5 when we closed. I'm fucking exhausted but I don't regret it. 2 extra hours of pay and the team really needed the help. I'm glad I could provide it. But god I'm so sick of my manager being useless. We called for help so many times today and he never responded. What the hell was he even doing all day? God tomorrow better be better than today.
