#stephaniestclaire

I'm doing a four week workshop on being a bad ass. I've done one project before with Stephanie St. Claire - Blissbombed, and I'm very excited to do this one. I won't reiterate her workshop, but I did decide that I should be open and share with my friends what I am learning each week. 

Everyone does this, but we don't do it consciously: we choose to be confused, unclear, overwhelmed, or broke, because it's our default mode. 

Instead, I now choose to be

clear

focused

decisive

present

successful with my desired outcomes

If I want to be successful, I need to step into my conscious choice about it. 

One of the best life-lessons I learned today, and that has been a huge struggle throughout my life is saying "I don't know". 

Get rid of the "I don't knows": They are function of fear. Make something up, anything. Just make it up! This is usually the root of the decision you need to make. "I don't know long" term doesn't serve you it just is something we do to preserve ourselves and prevent us from feeling something we perceive as pain. 

WOW!

So today, I commit to not saying "I don't know" for one whole week. I will make up an answer, and decide, on everything. 

Why? Because who I am is enough. Who I am is kick ass. And, staying true to my personality is too, and is highly attractive to the universe and powerful. 

The big one here is staying true to my desires. Sometimes staying true to my values is easier. But what about staying true to what I want? I think that staying true to what I want, means saying no to what is not quite what I want, and believing that what I do want is out there, available to me. It's coming--believe it. 

Staying on track takes practice. It "hurts so good" because we have to fight a little, to stay true to our personality, desires, values, etc. 

I also this week will be cultivating a curiosity towards other human beings. What is their world like, what are they dealing with? 

Life lesson: Every week, I will be asking myself: Does being in this situation/job/relationship create a version of me that I love and respect?  if not, what would?  

  Life lesson: self-esteem is not about 'having it'; it's about making choices. This is a chicken and egg thing. I have thought that if I just  HAD more self-love,  I would be happier, and that I would pick better men, make better choices, etc. What I actually need to do is MAKE these wise choices, and the self-love will follow. Self-respect is followed by self-love. Make decisions for yourself that bring in the most amount of respect. 

  Life lesson: Self-care is different than self-love: I have to care for myself by eating right, getting enough sleep, working out, and spending time with good friends. 

Life Lesson: About self-love: this message we hear makes us think that we don't love ourselves enough, giving ourselves a scarcity mentality. Truth is the amount of love I have for myself right now is enough! It will continue to grow! 

I was an over-thinker, paralyzed to make any action in my past. But the truth is, I can trust myself. I have enough, and I am enough. 

As a confident woman, I need stand up for myself in a decisive way. I don't need to give chance after chance, feel guilty when I don't, or spend a bunch of time explaining what I meant or why I'm deciding what I'm deciding. Stephanie mentioned she " had created the situation" with her "understanding" and that she woke up one day after she ended it realizing how much energy and free time she had. 

I had a personal victory the other day when I cut something off and only stated that "we just don't speak the same language" because the person was fundamentally inconsiderate and selfish. I didn't need to teach that person, and I didn't need to give them the benefit of the doubt. I just made the decisive action, and walked away, simply because that person made me feel bad when I was interacting with them, and other people don't. 

Explanations, over empathy, 6th, 7th, 8th chances. (How do I do this with out freaking out at the person for mistreating me?) Is there a balance? These are questions I still have, but I'm thinking the idea is just walking away and not spending a lot of time explaining yourself. Don't get angry. 

Life lesson: When you are sure in your gut you are making the right decision, you need to trust that you will have what it takes to handle the consequeces. 

Ending on a note again about self-care....I'm going to care for myself and get some sleep.