he asked me (dramatic monologue)
Why do I love acting?.. Besides meeting new people and engaging in something I’m not going to be forced to commit to my whole life.. I love acting because.. it’s easier to be someone else than to be myself. When you don’t even like who you are, it’s always more sane to act as if you are a completely different person. A happier, sadder, even angrier person. Just anyone but you. It’s like a way of escape. It’s a way to stay alive. When I think about death, I pick up a script and I redirect myself into a different character. It’s kind of like, holding off on suicide and making use of yourself instead of claiming you’re crazy, you just act. You become someone different. Acting is just another form of mental illness because instead of running away from your disease..you kind of use it. Instead of people calling you insane..they call you brilliant. All because you shifted your negative energy on a character who isn’t even real. All because on a flip of a camera you aren’t the real you. And you do it for months, it’s like a distraction. In those times you don’t worry about your problems because you can’t. You can’t. Sometimes, I feel ugly, insecure, inadequate. But when I act, even if I’m acting as someone who is insecure, ugly and inadequate..at least it isn’t me. For a while. That’s why I love to act. Because I can’t worry about my problems, I worry about someone else’s. Someone who isn’t even real. And as crazy as that sounds..that’s all part of the territory. It’s all part of acting. And I love it. Plus there’s always free booze and food on set.
