Maxim Unsexiest List: Kathy Bates is sexier than Sarah Jessica Parker, as the world's worst Magazine
Maxim - the high-quality magazine for men of taste and culture - has recently added another brick to the great wall of rough, radical journalism. No, not the groundbreaking "Best beard All Time" feature, I'm talking about Sarah Jessica Parker (you know, that a safe and perfectly decent actress who has not really been known for "Unsexiest List." A few years now) topped the list. It was a fitting sense choice for a pointless and unfunny list.Sarah Jessica Parker said it all snatched away, "she chooses to believe in the" sticks and stones' philosophy. Good for you, SJP.Joining Sarah Jessica Parker on Maxim's Unsexiest list was Amy Winehouse and (dramatic pause) "Britney Spears. Let me be the first to say, OMG! Someone makes fun of and / or criticize Britney Spears! It is so cool, bold and / or edgy! (One time I tried to read Maxim and watch TMZ at the same time, but then I immediately died from an overdose of entertainment and excitement.) To clarify, I do not think Sarah Jessica Parker is super sexy. I do not think a lot of people do, honestly. But I do not think she's ugly or grossly UN-sexy, either. I do not think she goes around talking about how sexy she is or tries to portray himself as a sex goddess. "Sex and the City" was a show about women ... who have sex ... in a city. The company never claimed to be a notion of the sexiest women alive. (Okay, I made that last part up because I do not know anything about the show. I've never actually seen the "Sex in the City," because I'm not a fat, borderline-functional, Xanax-gobbling, upper middle class housewife.) I guess I really just do not understand the point of Maxim Unsexiest List. I guess they needed something to fill the pages of airbrushed pictorials of insipid drunkorexic skanks and articles on Rambo. Still, I think they missed the boat with the help of an opportunity to pick on Sarah Jessica Parker. Here are five chicks I think would have been much better suited to Maxim Unsexiest List than SJP. (As far as I can determine, the criteria for Maxim's list of "women who are," so they are the only prerequisites for my list, too.) 1. Kathy Bates. Well, Kathy Bates definitely not a classic beauty. "Nor is she" hot "," sweet "or" babealicious "in some sense. In short, I do not want to lick Kathy Bates. And yet, the losers at the Maxim apparently thinks that she way sexier than Sarah Jessica Parker. It is gross.2. Condoleezza Rice. Between Martial, teeth, jaws and uneven skin tone, the Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to be regarded as less sexy than Sarah Jessica Parker by someone's standards. (Except for the standards of gross weirdos on Maxim.) 3. Kate Hudson. Haha, I'm kidding. I just wanted to make sure that you pay attention.4. Britney Spears. Okay, okay, I can admit to Maxim got this one right. There is really no denying that Britney Spears is disgusting.5. Your mom. Get it? I'm edgy and in-your-face as Maxim.
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