My state is going to lock down tonight and my parents live right across state lines in the next state over and they’re angry and hurt that I decided to help my girlfriend and her family rather than them. They must believe I’m doing it because I hate them or because I’m being ‘defiant’.

Here are the real reasons:

a) my girlfriend and her family literally live in the next town over. With no traffic and taking the highway, it takes me barely 20-25 minutes to get to them. My parents, on the other hand, live 45 minutes at the least AND across state lines. I don’t see them as much as my girlfriend and her family because of the simple fact that they live farther away and I’ve built a life near my girlfriend.

b) My girlfriend’s parents are higher risk and don’t want their kids going out--the people who will be with them 24/7 during lockdown-- in public. However, since I don’t live with them and I live by myself, I have less risk of catching anything and passing it on if I’m just dropping stuff off.

c) my two eldest siblings, one whom lives right across the street from my parents, can help my parents. There really is no reason for me to rush out there unless it’s a family emergency.

d) my girlfriend and her parents asked me to help. I’m doing what any partner would do, especially for a partner’s parents who have been nothing but kind, welcoming, and accepting to me and my relationship to their daughter. My parents, on the other hand, don’t even want my girlfriend around their home.

e) The state my parents live in is NOT on lockdown. They likely will be eventually, but again, my siblings are in a much better position to help. I will and always help when necessary.

f) As much as I love my parents, I don’t believe that now is the appropriate time to act out on negative feelings. I have high risk family members who live with or near my parents too, who they see all the time, so why the hell would I want to risk carrying something to them or carrying something from my home state back to my place and my girlfriend? When this started, my girlfriend and I decided that our social circle would only be the two of us and her family. We wouldn’t get with our mutual friends in groups or on one-on-one to hang out with. I saw my parents before making this decision and the main reason I chose my girlfriend and her family was, again, distance, the fact that I see them more in general, and her family is more accepting than mine. 

I’m not going to apologize for wanting to be around people--the only people I will be in close contact with for the next few weeks- who are supportive of me, my girlfriend, and our relationship. I guess my parents don’t like that though.