That phrase is intended as “I am not just the only male in the room, but I find myself viewed as the outsider.” I have been afforded a glimpse into what it’s like being the only one of a gender in a well-attended meeting.  And I am sure it is but a glimpse into the feelings and dynamics that women have felt throughout their careers. A pattern has became apparent, and Jacquelyn has affirmed it. 

The female attendees direct their “greetings” to her when we walk into the room. From eye contact to handshakes to pre-meeting chatter, I am gently avoided.  Consistently in these meetings, the person closest to me comes to realize that it’s now time to acknowledge the person of the other gender in the room. 

Maybe it was her boss motioning with her eyes. Maybe it was just the uncomfortable pause. It’s my momentary ice age. And it’s clear she’s not thrilled to have to be the first to engage the one male in the room. 

I am grateful, and feel a sense of relief that the awkwardness has been addressed, if not abated. I express my gratitude.. Interestingly, as handshakes are exchanged, not everyone makes full eye contact with me.

Once introductions are completed, I am somewhat invisible again. My role has become observer as the conversation ricochets around the table, like watching a pinball inside a glass case. I can only imagine how many alpha-males have been pitching to this team, the booming reverberations of egocentric megaphones relentlessly barking away.

And finally, business begins. Jacquelyn (Completely aware of the room’s dynamic): We are so excited to be here today! I think you’ll love what we do. 

First, I want to introduce you to our founder and CEO. 

Me: (Eager but careful) Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, thank you for dedicating some of your time to us today.

Marketers in Room: (Interested but cautiously distant) 

Me: We think our platform will be very interesting to your team. If it’s OK with you, I would like to give you a brief overview and then we can discuss it in more detail and answer your questions. Sound good?

Marketer: (Relieved this is not an egocentric megaphone meeting) Sounds great, go for it.

Me: (Don’t interrupt, don’t say “good question” because it might sound patronizing, don’t use selfish-sounding personal pronouns, no pitch deck to ‘control’ the audience, just have a truly interactive conversation. Don’t be the typical male pitching...) Thank you. PebblePost invented … Our discussion proceeds. 

Jacquelyn and I handle Q&A and wrap with end-of-meeting pleasantries. Exit, stage left. 

Back in the day when new technology meant “the wireless” (radio), the angel audition was already a Broadway institution.  A high net worth individual with a penchant for show biz (and, often, for chorus girls) would invite the writer and composer of a new show to perform the tunes for the new show on a piano in his apartment.  If the investor liked the tunes, and if there were enough opportunities for scantily clad chorus numbers, he’d back the show. Fast forward a century or so, and not much has changed.

Act 1, Scene 1 of

Start-Up! The Musical

Highlights from my PebblePost venture pitch.

VC: (insincere tone) Sorry I’m late.

Me: (token gesture) No problem, great to see you!

I have a seven-syllable pitch for a billion-dollar opportunity.

VC: (momentary focus, doing math) Impressive, over $140 million per syllable. Lay it on me.

Me: Programmatic Direct Mail.  We transform real-time online activity into personalized, dynamically rendered direct mail into postal hub in less than 24 hours. With real-time response path activity analytics and next day optimization. Every day, continuously.

VC: (Feeling like the visionary) Isn’t direct mail dead?

Me: (hide eye roll, educate) Direct Mail is large and growing. It’s the largest ad spend after television, has the highest response rate after telemarketing, and the highest average order value of any marketing channel, period. Yet, there has been no new product or major innovation in about 25 years, not since the advent of Zip+4 and digital printing. No technology revolution. Until now.

VC: (needing to chase a fad, can’t be direct mail) Who knew? Ok, so how exactly are you doing this?

Me: There are four key components to our Programmatic Direct Mail platform: Segmentation, Workflow Management, Analytics and Optimization. These components work seamlessly together to create a fully integrated loop. Our first product is Retargeting with Direct Mail, and we’ve started with ecommerce companies seeking to grow revenue and customer lifetime value. We’ve invented the industry’s first ad server and campaign management system, the first real-time analytics, and the first optimization of next day’s mail based on every day’s response and conversion data.

VC: (reaching for an analogy to show understanding) So, if I’m getting this, you just invented DoubleClick, MailChimp, Google Analytics and with next day optimization every day, but for Direct Mail, which is bigger than display or search?

Me: (hates the analogy game) Great analogy, yes! And we offer unlimited segmentation. Think any URL or activity within a page on an eCommerce site. We offer frequency capping, name suppression, and geo-targeting, to name a few. And we...

VC: (interrupting) How is the marketing performance?

Me: (provide Schoolhouse Rock math only) We combine the efficiency of digital with the effectiveness of direct mail, in our world 1 + 1 = 11. We are seeing response and conversion rates that are orders of magnitudes higher,  with much higher average order values.

VC: (putting his phone down) And customers? Are you selling to brands or agencies?

Me: (answer the question he should have asked) PebblePost’s business model includes both. We set this up as a SaaS model: Software, production, printing, postage and delivery to postal hub, all-inclusive on a per piece price based on monthly volume. No term, minimums, or set up fee. It’s producing a 5x-plus return on ad spend for small brands with inexpensive products!

VC: (trying to look relevant) What about fraud and ad blockers and such?

Me: (am I playing t-ball?) We are intrinsically 100% fraud free – it always gets delivered to a real person with a real postal address. Bots don’t have mailboxes. Programmatic Direct Mail is 100% transparent – anonymous cookie, known user, opt-in by brand, and postal address linked to the segmented activity and piece of collateral. There’s no ad interference with the user experience, and our Programmatic Direct Mail is immune to ad blockers.

VC: (thinking he is so clever) There’s always “return to sender”!

ME: (smiles nervously, acts impressed with the attempt at humor)

VC: (insert obligatory years old question here) So how do you cut through the clutter of all the other ad tech companies?

ME: (he’s a pocket knife in a gunfight) There are more than  2,500 ad tech companies. There are more than 3,850 direct marketing companies. But with our programmatic digital-to-direct mail technology, 99% of them don’t exist in our world for the marketer. One platform.

VC: (recalling associate’s homework) OK, there’s about $50 billion dollars in digital marketing, $50 billion in direct mail, $50 billion or so in marketing data services. What percentage of the market do you think you can get, in just direct mail?

ME: (every founder should just say this) You have that question backwards. The question is how much are we going to leave for the incumbents. We are creating a market; they become incremental.

VC: (fawning for audacity) You’re pretty confident… ME: Dude, we’re going after Moby Dick, on a paddleboard and with a hibachi. You want a fish taco?

Did the pitch work? Yes, with a

seed round of $3 million from great VC and angel investor partners

. The first scene of Act 1 is a success, and we are on our way. -------

Start-Up! The Musical

will publish (roughly) every two weeks. Next installment: "