#starsbuilt

"Just... Come and look at this?" She beckons her over. "It might be easier to explain if you can see it for yourself."

"...Far longer than I would care to admit." Sigyn confesses with a sigh. "I'm sorry - I didn't see the point in saying anything until it was certain."

"It's nothing," She insists, hastily wiping her eyes. "I'm fine, Sophia, really,"

｡･:*:･ﾟ🐬 HEAVY SIGH LEAVES HER ... as she comes to sit across from soph in the booth. head pretty much smacks down onto the table. ❝ aliens suck. ❞ came her mumbled voice. this was the THIRD time this week - that ellie had to clean up her bakery because some wise ass alien decided to ransack the place. ❝ why do they all have a sweet tooth ? ❞

you hope for the best & make do with what you get / @starsbuilt

"well, it did!"

for Buddy, things are complicated . . . and slightly complex. he always admired Sophia’s ability to know what she wants and who she wants- even if they’re not good for her. for him, it was more complicated than that. growing up, it was very clear to him what was okay and what wasn’t and having any attraction towards men wasn’t okay. his parents weren’t about that lifestyle. in fact, Buddy had a gay uncle who was vehemently disowned because he was gay. Buddy never knew him, but based on what he’s learned from social media, his uncle is married with two dogs and two kids that he and his husband adopted. according to social media, they were happy, even if they no longer had the kind of luxury he was used to. and while Buddy knew that he could easily do the same thing as his uncle, there’s a fear in him- of losing everything he’s ever known just because he fell in love with a man instead of a woman. it’s terrifying. he thinks maybe his family knows, on some level, but they’re hoping he’ll still marry a woman and keep from shaming his family anyways.

and okay, he tried that, he really did. he tried to love Ann the way he was supposed to, even fooled himself into thinking he did, but she wasn’t interested in him and even if she was, he doesn’t think he could stomach the shame of lying for the rest of his life. to pretend to be happy. but maybe that’s just what he needed to do in order to survive and in order to keep his family. he doesn’t think he could handle losing his sister or his mother forever, just because he likes men. he can pretend, can’t he ?? maybe he’ll find a nice girl somewhere and settle down and have two kids and just pretend. he already pretends enough as it is- what’s one more lie ??

he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, frustrated with himself for not knowing what he wants. no- that’s not true, he knows what he wants, but he’s just not brave enough to go for it. he’s stuck in limbo. “i wish it was that simple for me,” he says, pouring himself a glass of wine. he drinks far too much, but it helps calm his nerves- makes him braver than he feels. he takes a drink before turning towards Sophia with a forced smile on his face. “if i were to marry anyone other than a rich girl, i think i’d be disowned. my family barely likes Ann as it is and she’s my sister’s best friend. they might tolerate her if i were to marry her, but they wouldn’t like it. and if i married a man ?? oh boy. forget it. i’d never see my sister again and not because she hates gay men- Lila is more progressive than my parents, but she’d be forbidden to speak to me, even though she’s an adult. it’s either listen to the parents or lose the chance at getting any of their money when they die. it’s unfair.” his mother, he thinks, would be faster to accept him than his father would, if they knew the truth, but there’s always the chance of losing everything and for Buddy, that just isn’t an option right now. he really is just stuck.

there’s something remarkably beautiful about being seen. their relationship has always allowed them to see one another as they truly are; a rare gift. of course being seen comes with its consequences and its problems- never are people fully what they seem and somehow you’re always bound to disappoint. fortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case between Sophia and Buddy. they’ve never once disappointed the other- an understanding grew between them at a young age. they’ve always been a little bit different, but that’s something they’ve been able to understand within each other. while many people may not understand -their parents included- they at least had each other to count on. even as they grew older, it became more and more clear that their friendship was of value. it was something special. Buddy has always seen Sophia; while others may have stolen a glance, he’s always face forward, staring into diamonds. he thinks she’s a rare beauty that seldom gets to see the light of day. while others may look at her and see something ordinary, Buddy sees something sparkling- something wonderous. he’s never really understood why no one else has seen her the way he sees her. he thinks she’s perfect.

“i see you,” he reminds her gently. “even when no one else does, i see you.” he knows that isn’t enough, but he tries to be. while he knows he can’t be her everything, he can be her something, and that may have to be enough for them for the time being. he thinks she’ll find her someone some day; someone who will see her and accept her and love her through everything, regardless of what may come, but for now, at least she has Buddy. she can always count on him to be there for her. even if it isn’t much, at least she has that.

love is something Buddy considers to be of very high value. while he opens his heart and allows love to encompass him, he’s always been shy about the way he loves. he doesn’t want to push too far or be too much, and yet he always seems to be just that. Harris has never said anything about Buddy’s constant affection, and he never seems to be annoyed with him, but there’s this nervous tick inside Buddy’s brain that tells him that maybe he’s being a little too much. he has a tendency to drink when he thinks like this and allows the emotions to be washed away with alcohol. it’s a bad habit he knows he needs to break, but no one’s stopped him yet, so he assumes he’s okay. every time he comes home to visit, Harris is the first person he seeks out, and he’s usually always there. Buddy’s love is something special, or at least he’d like to think so- he gives it out to everyone he meets, but there’s a few select few that really get to see his love shine.

Sophia is one of those people that gets a special kind of love from Buddy. he’s known her basically his entire life- just as long as he’s known Harris, and that’s something special in its own right. he’s seen her grow up alongside him and it’s been a treat; even if their parents don’t understand them, they’ve always had an understanding in each other. Lila was his parents’ golden child- she was always doing things the right way, never seemed to get into trouble . . . despite her obvious love for Harris, she never did anything to upset their parents, and that included being with the servant boy. their parents never would have approved of Harris as a husband for Lila, even if he loved her back. part of Buddy was glad for that- the jealousy winding itself in his gut. he explained this feeling to Sophia before, not wanting to really delve into what it could mean, but knowing he needed someone to know how he felt. his parents wouldn’t be happy about it, especially not his father, but he doesn’t like to think about the disappointment. he takes another drink.

“that’s the thing about it, right ?? we don’t choose who we fall in love with, even if they’re the opposite of good for us. it’s fun while it lasts, yeah ?? i mean, the feeling of being wanted . . . it’s nice, even if it’s not how we picture it. you really don’t think he loves you?” love comes in all shapes and sizes; Buddy understands that, and his love for Sophia is large and ever-growing. he cares for her where it matters the most and he’ll always be a friend to her, even if their parents wished they’d be something more. neither of them could find that kind of love for one another, even if it would make things simple. sometimes you just have to follow your heart, even if it leads you astray. even if your parents don’t approve. sometimes the only happiness that matters is your own.